Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Seed, the characters, plot, setting, yadda yadda, etc. etc. (I don't even own the manga for crying out loud)

OH! And possible yaoi warning. Also, implied shounen-ai and yaoi! (Nothing overt, but the innuendos are there and they might progress, depends on my mood)

I … don't feel so great right now. Life is just getting me down. I dunno…

I don't like this chapter. I can't write very well anymore for some reason.

Ooogh…

Mrgh. Did you know does NOT sell the Gundam Seed full boxed set? Blech. That means the cheapest I can get it is at $66 for the entire series! Guess that's not so bad, but I REALLY don't want to pay for it now. And Xmas isn't for what, 3 mos.?

Oh, and sorry this is so later, I actually had it done two or three days ago but I had absolutely no time to deal with typing it all up.

Like I promised, one VERY different chapter, interlude time.


Italics means thoughts

Bold means….other stuff.


Last time:

"Yeah, you're right Tori. Staying in here will just make me more miserable. I have the run of the ship until we reach Joshua, might as well make the most of it."

Resolutely jamming the picture into a hip pocket, the emotional young man set off for the hangar, his most prized possession and symbolic friend flapping along behind.


Nicol's New Fate

Chapter 5: Interlude 1 – Enemy?

-----------------------

Rewind to a couple hours after the battle:

Dead…

Nicol…is dead.

Athrun still could not believe it; could not comprehend. As Yzak raved and Dearka mourned, Athrun could only sit in the hard seat of the transport ship in shock; the scene playing over and over in his mind's eye.

The Strike…Kira…standing, lance pointed at the Aegis'...Athrun's… chest.

He was begging, nothing new. Kira didn't want to kill him, no, but neither would back down. Nicol was there, in the background, supporting the Buster and Dual against the Legged ship and supporting flyer. (1)

"I don't want to hurt you Athrun!"

"ATHRUN!"

"Wha…? NICOL, NO!"

It was too late. Nicol flung himself forward, convinced Athrun was in mortal danger.

The Strike whirled, just in time for the Blitz Gundam to impale itself.

Through the chest. Through NICOL's chest.

"ATH- aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!"

The final anguished howl cut off as the radio was destroyed.

"Nicol…" Athrun whispered in horror, too much in shock to say anything else. The Blitz sagged, like a human, on the end of Kira's lance, blood red sparks spreading out of the ruptured chest cavity.

"NICOL!" Dearka and Yzak called him away, pulling him back on numbed instinct as the Blitz exploded, destroyed. For good.

Along with one of the few people he had ever considered a friend.

The last thing Athrun ever saw of that bloodstained battlefield was the Strike, standing over Blitz's charred metal body like a warlord, smoke and flames turning Kira into a monster, a beast of war framed in flames.

And it was all Athrun's fault.

The explosion

The final scream, cutting off horribly.

And that terrible final vision of the Strike.

These were what haunted Athrun as he slumped in a chair beside his remaining teammates.

Kira, how could you?

And how could I not have stopped you?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Dammit!" Yzak swore angrily. Nicol was dead; he had accepted that, but there was no way he would grow to like it. The youngest member of the La Creuset team had held them together; brought Athrun out of his shell, tricked Dearka into acting serious, and mollified Yzak's temper. He had been a good fighter, despite his gentler temperament. And now he was dead.

How had this happened? Yzak was fighting back tears with swearing and snarling at all in sundry. Not that any of them noticed; Dearka and Athrun were sitting on either side, eyes glazed over in thought, and the pilot of the transport could not care less what any of them were doing. Now, if Nicol had been there…

NO! Nononononono. Why is everything leading back to that weakling? I was never really great friends with him, so why am I dwelling on his death? We all knew what might happen, and he was the weakest; always prattling on about his music and how we should all get along. It's only local he would be the one…killed. Killed, gone, dead…we'll never see him again.

The scarred pilot did not notice his own bitter tears dripping to the metal floor.

I can't help feeling guilty somehow. But why? It wasn't MY fault; he was killed by the Strike!

His mind instantly latched onto the familiar scapegoat. In Yzak's mind, everything that went wrong in the war could be traced back to the Earthen Gundam and its mysterious pilot. Hell, even the political problems with the PLANTS could probably be traced back to him (her?). Not a particularly healthy or sane method of thought, but one that kept Yzak fighting with a purpose.

The STRIKE. Of course, it's the Strike's fault! That's why I'm feeling guilty! In order to avenge Nicol's death, I must destroy the Strike and slaughter its pilot!

The words, strangely enough, brought comfort. He had made claims such as this before, but revenge was the most justifiable reason so far. In fact, it was probably justified enough to convince the others to help! With all three soldiers working together, revenge against the enemy mobile suit was all but assured. There is no reason to feel guilty, Yzak rationalized, Nicol knew what might happen when he joined the military, whether his parent forced him to or not, so his life was his own responsibility. His death wasn't, but soon that matter will be put to rest as well. Nicol WILL be avenged.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

For the first time since…well, ever, Dearka was introspective. This was not the first friend lost to war; hell, he had been closer to both Miguel and Rusty then he ever was to Nicol. Not because he didn't like the kid; he was just so innocent. It was a strange trait for a soldier, but one the green haired boy had always had, ever since Dearka had met him. Young rookies always flocked to him, reassured by the friendliness from an elite soldier while veterans wouldn't touch him with a ten foot pole. To them, innocence was bad; it inspired trust and an urge to protect, traits that could be deadly during battle.

The Blitz pilot did not deserve to die. If anything, he was the only one who should have survived, based on his ethics, morality, and love for life. But war did not take ethics into account, the people who died did not have to deserve pain to become victims, and enemy soldiers did not discriminate between who they killed.

Which brings me to the Strike. Dearka had been sitting, sprawled against the back of his chair with his arms supporting his neck as he gazed unseeing at the low ceiling, lavender eyes listless and glazed with grief and thought. However, as soon as the image of the offending machine flitted across his mind, they focused and narrowed as they always did at the thought of the mysterious and confusing enemy. How the Hell did a natural pilot defeat a coordinator? Even if it was just Nicol, who specialized in stealth rather then hand-to-hand. Well, a mental snicker denoted his returning good humor, technically Mobile Suit to Mobile Suit.

A short growling sound pulled him from the internal reverie, compelling him to raise his head.

"Yzak…" The silver-haired pilot was sitting at an almost painful angle straight up, taught as a bowstring, hostility and pain practically glowing in ice-blue eyes. Dearka couldn't keep a flash of sympathy from passing over his face. Why did he always take things like this? There was no doubt how the other boy saw the situation. He would not blame himself; no, that was one belief Dearka agreed with; Nicol knew what he was in for when he became a soldier; Yzak would blame the Strike pilot. Or Athrun. Hopefully the former, blaming Athrun would create another world of trouble that none of them needed.

It was fairly disturbing how the he assigned blame: EVERYTHING had become Strike's fault. The Legged ship, the destruction of various fleet ships, the damage to the mobile suits taken during the battle, the technical errors inherent in the system, even the weather conditions.

Dearka couldn't take it anymore. If his friend kept this up, he'd go insane at an early age. And not happy insane, homicidally insane. Something had to be done.

"Hey, Yzak."

Those angry eyes, attempting to conceal deep sadness, turned towards the other in surprise. Dearka couldn't resist his humor was definitely back; his grief had been played out and the painful look on Yzak's face just begged for a distraction. But for this to work, he had to sound conversational…

"When's your next psycho check?"

Blink incredulousness "What?"

"I think you need one, you look like you're about to break." (2)

"The other's mouth gaped as a shadow of Dearka's cheerful smirk returned.

"D-Dearka…"

"Yessss…?" the teasing tone had returned with the smirk. Nicol deserved to be mourned, but he was still a casualty of war, one of many, and had chosen the path that led to his fate. Yzak understood that as well, his eyes expressed it. The tears were pushed back and the familiar annoyed spark flickered back into existence.

"Dearkaaa…" THIS time, it was a growl. Now, over time, Dearka had come to know and understand Yzak's many growls and grunts of expression. This one quite plainly meant 'start running'.

With a smug grin, the blondie shut up but did not drop Yzak's gaze. The staring contest continued until the transport prepared to dock at the base of the Desert Tiger.

Well, Dearka's grin did not drop, bringing a scowl to Yzak's face (he was trying to be intimidating) at least his mind is off Nicol now.

And it was. Dearka's banter and playfulness had broken Yzak's solid wall of grief and hatred. The desire for revenge was still there, but for both of them, Nicol had slipped into the realm of just another war casualty.


Athrun on the other hand, was a different matter altogether. He was still sealed in a corner of the shuttle, dull emerald eyes unfocused and full of pain. The clamor from Yzak and Dearka's bickering didn't even nearly penetrate his fog of shock.

How did I let this happen? Nicol was the only one who cared about me, my only true friend in the military. I mean, I suppose Dearka and Yzak are my friends, but not nearly in the same way. Both of them are rivals, teammates. Neither would think of inviting me to a piano recital or a picnic in the park the way Nicol did. And yet, I just stood by and watched while Kira killed him! Why? Why does something happen to everyone I care about? First mother with Julius 7, then father with his work, Kira, and now Nicol! And by Kira's hand! If only I had taken Kira out in one of the earlier battles. But...I can't do that! Kira is Kira, no matter what I said! But…

"Landing."

"What?" snapped out of his angst, Athrun glanced up at the nameless plot with deadpan eyes.

"We've arrived at the base. Landing will occur in a few minutes, so please secure yourselves."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Automatically, all three soldiers quieted down, temporarily back-shelving their emotional stress in the face of confronting Comm. La Creuset (3). After all, their mission had been a failure.

In Yzak's words, "We're running away like dogs, crawling back to the master with tail tucked waiting for a kick in the ribs (4)."

Dearka snickered and poked fun at the comparison, but privately agreed. What kind of soldier runs from the battlefield? Even after suffering a casualty? Hell, it usually made the remaining soldiers fight better!

No, he reflected, observing the desert through a strategically placed window, the Commander isn't going to like this At All.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Retreating from battle, getting bested by an enemy Mobile Suit, losing a soldier under your command, need I go on?"

Standing at attention a step in front of his teammates, Athrun stared straight ahead, face emotionless through the ridicule. "No sir."

"No? Very well, then." The voice was deceptively calm, concealing the way La Creuset was actually feeling. Athrun had failed. Underneath the mask, he was moldering. Yet another of my team has died under the blade of Kira Yamato; the first two indirectly his fault, but the last was definitely his doing. Rusty and Miguel wee disposable, but I had plans for the young Amarfi, and I can only believe, from Athrun's reaction, that the deed was partially his own fault. Even if it is a mistake and his belief is unfounded, I don't care. Athrun needs to learn his place and realize that his loyalties must lie with ZAFT alone. It is high time to dispose of the distraction that is Kira Yamato. His eyes narrowed, calculating, behind the ever-present covering as he gazed at the ZAFT elites in front of him, specifically their young leader. And Mr. Zala will be the perfect tool to finish the job.

Without once changing his mask of cold indifference, La Creuset zeroed in on Athrun with sinister intent.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Athrun, why don't you tell me what happened?"

The semi-lethargic soldier blinked his slowly, maintaining his emotionless mask to counter his superior's, even as his fingers twitched nervously and his mind screamed, protesting the return of the hellish visions that had been haunting his thoughts.

"Athrun."

He flinched slightly, the multitude of emotions breaching the carefully constructed walls placed between his emotions and the world. This was the first time it had ever been breached by someone other then Kira; and of course, the perpetrator would have to be La Creuset: one of the few people with enough power to manipulate and-

"Ssst! Athrun!"

Dearka's hiss brought him back to reality. What…? Oh.

"Yessir." What did I just agree to?

"Very good. Please, recount from your point of view." Oh crap. Dammit, no way out now, I guess.

With a shaky breath, Athrun began, the now familiar images floating through his unwilling mind as he tried to remain as impersonal as possible.

-----------------------

(5) At 1400 hours the La Creuset team, consisting of commanding officer Athrun Zala, Yzak Joule, Dearka Elfman, and Nicol Amarfi made contact with the enemy Legged ship. Upon engagement, the Earthen Alliance vessel, apart from using its own guns and cannons, sent out an aerial fighter and the GAT-X105 Strike Gundam to counter us.

Nicol in the GAT-X207 Blitz Gundam, Yzak in the GAT-X102 Duel Gundam and Dearka in the GAT-X103 Buster Gundam took on the aircraft and the main cannons while I took on the Strike in the GAT-X303 Aegis Gundam.

About 7 minutes into the battle, the Strike managed to get the upper hand and corner me, upon which Nicol abandoned his own battle and rushed to back me up. The Strike turned before Nicol could do anything and thrust its weapon through the armor over the cockpit. An explosion followed, destroying the GAT-X207 Blitz with Nicol inside.

While the Strike was distracted, Yzak and Dearka pulled me out of danger and we retreated to the assault ship after which we were ordered to return here, to the base of the Desert Tiger.

-----------------------

"That's it, sir." Athrun stood at attention, forcing the tears not to show in his eyes. It did not seem to fool his commanding officer in the least. The masked gaze shifted to the soldiers standing behind his chosen victim.

"Dearka, Yzak, is this report accurate? Do you have anything to add?"

"No sir."

"…Yzak?"

There was a short silence as Yzak remained silent, seemingly struggling with himself.

"Yes sir, I do have something to add." The other three turned to glance at him, two startled (Athrun had told the apparent truth), and one in surprised amusement. The blonde commander had a pretty good idea what Yzak would say.

"I want to go back. Go back and destroy that MS, slaughter the pilot of the Strike! That bastard killed Nicol and scarred me! He deserves to die! Everything that's gone wrong has been all his fault!"

"Calm yourself, Yzak." La Creuset remained emotionless, with only a touch of amusement in his voice.

"Permission to return to the front lines, sir?" Yzak, La Creuset mused, was very eager to get himself killed.

"Permission denied. Or rather," he amended "Denied until further notice. Your new orders are to suspend all current operations and report back to the PLANTS where you will be re-outfitted to an extent. When the upgrades are complete, you will return to Earth. Who knows? You might even get a chance at revenge." He couldn't resist twisting the dagger (6). "Isn't that right, Athrun?"

The Gundam pilot's stricken eyes snapped out of shock for the first time since the ordeal. Horror, rage, fear…, all came into play, but it was one almost nonexistent glimpse that caught the devious superior's attention. Hope and need. The young man desperately needed someone other then himself to blame Nicol's death on and Kira was the only possibly scapegoat available.

"Athrun?" he prodded cruelly, in a cool tone. The next step would be crucial to his plans. Which would Athrun choose? His best friend or his people?

"…Yes, sir."

This time, the superior officer did not try to contain his triumphant smirk. That was good enough. There was no need to tell Athrun how his own father had almost blamed him for the entire fiasco or how shaky relations with the council were since the battle. It was important for Athrun to blame Kira exclusively, no question about it.

"Good. Dismissed."

An emotionally distraught Athrun Zala fled the make shift debriefing room as fast as possible, desperate to work out what was going on.

Kira…killed Nicol.

Nicol…

Is Kira to blame for all of this?

The empty hallways held no answer.


TBC.

REVIEW!


Sorry about spelling errors, I haven't edited anything on ffnet, and that sometimes screws things up.

And Yay for ellipses! I like dots…

Hmmm…oh, sorry if this chapter's kinda patchy. I accidentally screwed up my outline by putting it here, so I wasn't entirely sure what I should put in that would have deeper meaning in the upcoming chapters. Also, I am aware that I repeated a bunch of stuff, but it was supposed to be the same event from all their perspectives, so…yeah.

Sorry about all the short segments, I needed to show a lot of different perspectives to get the effect I was looking for, and this was the easiest way to do it. And overall, the chapter is about the same length. Another reason this chapter might be a little different is because I used a different writing technique, something I haven't done since the preview. And that would be writing in the back of one of my binders during class. -.- School has made me a very busy person.

Not to mention I don't have a beta reader and my story line is getting a bit fuzzed.

So now you get to see what's going on with the ZAFT guys. We'll be with them for about two chapters here with possibly another interlude later on.

I'm not entirely sure I'm allowed to post review answers anymore, but ffnet hasn't actually said anything, so I'm gonna keep doing it for the time being

This chapter sucked too.

Gawd, I don't feel like anything anymore. I'm so depressed.


(1) The Sky grasper. I'm guessing the ZAFT operatives don't know what the name is.

(2) It might sound a little cruel, or at least it did to me after I typed it, but the 'joke' needs to be impactive enough to take Yzak's mind off the issue of Nicol's death and an insulting joke gives him something less…dangerous and vengeful…to fume at.

(3) The best I could get on Rau le Creuset's station was that he was 'Commander of the ZAFT fleet', so he's a commander.

(4) I DO NOT condone violence towards animals, I love animals, but I consider Yzak to be a fairly violent person. That's why I think this might be something he'd say.

(5) The report is from Athrun's POV, but it IS a report so he is keeping within the facts (as he saw them). His emotional view of the event was earlier. Reports are always as impersonal and unemotional as possible. (And hell to write because I had to research all the stats. -.-) Technical info from (Which said absolutely nothing about any titles for the La Creuset team. I'm beginning to wonder if they have official titles or if ZAFT just operates on a chain of command system) Also, there are many different ways to spell each last name, Dearka's more so then the others: it's either Elman, Elkman, or Elfman but since Elfman was what the official site said, that's what I'm using in my story for now.

(6) Figure of speech. There is no real dagger.


Rainpure: Who are your two fav. Anime characters? And the yaoi won't be really overt, just innuendos in the background and maybe some hugging and 'realizations' and such. The story is just supposed to continue the series, not be a romance, so…yeah. Glad you liked it and hope you liked this chapter.

Nevermore-Amaya: Heh, thanks for the good wishes. I…well…the alarms weren't exactly allowed to go off cuz Nicol needed time alone. So…I guess…it's cuz they didn't want to get in trouble for letting Nicol go. They figure since he's injured and tied up, they can find him themselves and not get chastised for it. The alarm will go off soon enough. Heh, interlude time… Glad you liked and I hope you liked this one as well.

Yzak Lover Extrodinaire: Heh, not exactly a quick update, and not a normal one, but at least it's an update. Hope you liked the chapter.

Artgirl150: Heheheh. Not in this chapter, nope. :) Maybe when we get back to them, maybe not. Not exactly a quick update, but as good as I could do with school.

AnimeFreaks13: Heheh. Thanks for the beta offer, but I think I'm gonna continue on my own. See, I have this theory that if I get all my chapters up as rough drafts, I can come back and completely revamp the story later, making it much better before leaving it complete. Oh, and the whole Kira confined thing was… mrgh, even I don't remember. I think it was while they were at port and after they made it to Joshua. And on the orders of any superior officer. Ummm…yeah. Hope ya liked this chapter, should be back to Kira and Nicol pretty soon.

Karone-sakura: Hope you liked this one. We're jumping now, but the story should shift back to Nicol and Kira in a few chapters.

ZGMF X-19A Infinite Justice: Heh. Different chapter this time. Hope you liked it. And the answers to your questions will come in time. :)

Jiang Mae: I think I'm gonna keep responding like this for now; I haven't gotten any complaints from…well…anyone, ffnet or otherwise. And sorry, but I don't really have any fodder for your story. All my ideas will potentially become my own storylines. ;; Sorry.

PyroManiacNeko: I liked the line XD. I thought it was funny; guess I have a demented sense of humor at one am… :)

Small-nicole: Heh, thanks for the compliment. I don't update very often, but I'm hoping to finish by January 06, so that should give you a kind of schedule. Sorta.

Nariko: Heheh. Yep, here's Athrun. At least, for a little while. He's not in a chapter with Nicol and Kira until everyone makes it back to Orb. And that is…interesting. Oops…I just gave out a spoiler, didn't I? And I really loved Nicol too, that's why he's alive XD. And even with the little spoiler, there are plenty of surprises to come.