Interlude 2 – Indian Summer

Klaus leaned his head against the iron bars of the bed's headboard and took a deep drag off of his cigarette with half-closed eyes. Funny, come to think of it he never smoked in bed before…then again he never did anything in bed before except sleep. He'd always just lie down, sing a couple of verses of 'Mary had a little lamb' to himself and drop off; and then he'd wake up and jump off of it the second his alarm clock sounded. For as long as he could remember he had never stayed in bed awake for more than a few minutes at most. But of course this wasn't the only habit he had forsaken these last few days. In fact, this past week had been chock-full of firsts for him.

He turned his head a little to the side and looked down at the cause for all these changes, currently sleeping soundly next to him. Dorian had once again proven he was a specialist in turning his life upside down, but for once the Major didn't find the changes he brought with him all that disagreeable. Nevertheless they sure needed some getting used to, which was why he had decided to give himself a little time for adaptation.

Accordingly, the day after their first time together Klaus informed his father that he intended to take some of his accumulated days off, under the pretext of spending a bit more time with his family until his father left for Switzerland again. He expected the Colonel to scold him for neglecting his duties but the latter made no objections – most likely in the hope of expediting his grandson's arrival, as Klaus strongly suspected. The Major still felt rather guilty he would never give his father the heir he was so eagerly awaiting, but it could not be helped. At the very least, he thought, when it became clear his 'bride' would never get knocked up, the Colonel would not be able to accuse him of not putting in enough of an effort. At the rate they were doing it this past week, if Dorian was a woman he would have been impregnated at least ten times over.

The reaction of his alphabets when he announced his intentions at the office was rather amusing – his men seemed to be torn between relieved to get a reprieve from his abominable temper for a few days and concerned whether he had finally gone mental. Well, he too wondered sometimes whether he had gone off the deep end to be doing all those unprecedented things, but he had discovered long ago that doubting his sanity never did him any good. He simply had to trust his instincts and, since he'd decided to set himself on that unfamiliar road, walk it to the very end.

And so the following few days were essentially the closest thing to a honeymoon he could ever have. During the day Dorian still played the elegant lady and gracefully kept him and his father company; if nothing else, Klaus had to admit that with him around the time he spent in his father's company passed much more quickly and easily. The Earl's social skills were remarkably better than his own, and he managed to find a conversation topic even during the most tedious and boring moments. The Colonel was more agreeable as well, probably because he had a fresh audience for his narrations about the war; so all in all this was his first vacation when the Major didn't feel like shooting himself in the head after the first two days. At night they would seclude themselves in his bedroom and make love for hours on end before falling asleep from sheer exhaustion. They didn't talk much during that time; well, the obvious reason for that was because Dorian's mouth was otherwise occupied for the greater part of the night, but to his surprise the Major had discovered that Lord Gloria wasn't very talkative in bed. He had expected the thief would never shut up about his feelings and the like but Dorian was mostly silent, except for a wide variety of moans; obviously he preferred actions to words in that area. However, after the deed was done they did talk sometimes before falling asleep, although not for long. It was kind of weird, the two of them having conversations which did not involve shameless flirting and raucous exchanging of insults, but Klaus could not deny that this change too was not at all unpleasant for him.

"What was it?" he asked Dorian on one such occasion, while the thief was lying blissfully next to him. "I'm quite sure you despised me when we first met…so what made you think someone like me was worth your trouble?"

Dorian smiled a little and said, looking up at him, "I admit my first impression of you was simply the worst – someone so unmoved by art and beauty I had never met. Although maybe I also resented you because you were unmoved by my beauty in particular; until then no man I had ever set eyes on would fail to fall in love with me, and I took pride in that. Because you wounded my vanity, I hastened to convince myself you were not worth my trouble as you put it. But if you did not chase after me as a love interest, you pursued me most persistently – and more successfully than anyone else, I might add – as an opponent and I could not help but respect that." He glanced down a bit, then meeting Klaus' eyes again he went on, "And you know, I've fallen in love many times but it is very rare for me to respect someone. Because I think so highly of myself there aren't many people out there I would look up to…in fact I don't think there were any at all before I met you. And when you told me that you too have things you find beautiful, I understood I had misjudged you completely; you were not the cold, unfeeling person I thought you were, but someone who has things he holds dear and would protect no matter what, just like me. We might not cherish the same things, but in essence we are one of a kind…and when I realized this I knew you were the only person I could truly love, the only one I could see becoming my lifelong partner." He looked down for a second again, and his smile became a little bitter. "But it took me quite a while to come to terms with it…I simply could not accept that I was actually becoming like the ones who pined for me, I had never imagined that one day I, Eroica, would be so weak in the face of love. Whenever I had fallen in love before I still had the upper hand and I could always be sure of my conquest in the end, but with you I had no such certainty. That was why I tried with all my might to dismiss my feelings for you, but I couldn't. I told myself that we were not compatible, that our ways of life were totally different, and that in the end I'd be a fool to believe you would ever accept someone who offended your morals so much…I told myself all that again and again, but in vain. In spite of knowing how unlikely and indeed unreasonable it would be for us two to get together, each time we met I could not help being fascinated by you all the more…and finally, reckless that I am, I threw my reservations to the wind and declared my love for you," he concluded, tossing his abundant curls back with a theatrical gesture.

"And you chose just the place to do it; in front of Polar Bear and half of Rome's police department force, you bloody exhibitionist," grunted the Major with a sour face. But inwardly he was gratified by what Dorian had just confided in him; strangely enough, it seemed to him that the Earl's admission that he, too, had found it difficult to accept being in love with someone so different was more solid proof of Dorian's feelings than all of his flowery love declarations so far. Klaus was and had always been a realist; he had never once believed that such things as fairytale romances could possibly exist in real life. A Dorian who would second-guess and even doubt his feelings before coming to terms with them was much more convincing than one who would 'fall in love at first sight' like in those sappy movies. Now that Eroica finally admitted to actual human reactions such as misgivings and self-doubt and even denial he was a hell of a lot more believable than when he played the effing gay Don Juan. Moreover, it was a relief for him to see that he wasn't the only one aware of their differences, that Dorian had taken this into account as well. If this relationship of theirs were to have any chance of working at all, they would have to go about it without their heads in the clouds. Surprisingly enough, despite his incorrigible and annoying penchant for romance Dorian had shown some remarkable sensibility regarding the two of them; he had readily accommodated the Major's wish for secrecy and he hadn't tried to impose his tastes on him at all. Of course this was just the beginning for them, and there was no telling whether someone as unpredictable as Eroica would continue being as sensible in the future; but it was a promising start nonetheless.

Yes, on the whole the Major had to admit his idea had worked out perfectly well, and considering the risks involved in the process, it would not be an exaggeration to say it was a huge success. To be sure, his plan had taken quite a few unexpected turns; but he'd be lying if he said the end result wasn't satisfactory. Despite his exceptional abilities Klaus seldom felt proud of himself; but this little flash of genius on his part he felt he was entitled to be proud of. He took another drag off of his cigarette and allowed himself to give a slight smile as he recounted the thought process which had forever relieved him of any conjugal obligations.

There is a Japanese proverb saying that, when facing two opponents at the same time, instead of trying to confront both of them at once it is wiser to step out of the way and allow them to annihilate each other. That was the essence of the Major's brilliant idea: instead of trying to deal both with his father and Eroica, he had pitted them against one another. When they came in contact they neutralized each other far more effectively than he could ever have done with either of them. Eroica, confined by his role of the wife as he was, could not act like his usual overly indecent self and therefore the Major had been able to put up with him long enough for the purpose of his plan. And his father, mollified by the presence of a 'woman', the Earl's charm and his joy for his son's 'marriage' had brought his defenses down enough for Klaus to finally get through to him and get a better understanding of him than he had ever got in all his life. Not to mention one of the two main reasons for his father's nagging was gone for good; of course, there was still the matter of his promotion and the Colonel might always find other things to grumble about later on, but with Dorian's help it'd be much easier to handle him from now on. All things considered, he could say with confidence that, the way things stood now, his relationship with his father was at its all-time best.

But this was only half of his objectives; certainly, he wanted to improve his relations with his father and rid himself of the obligation of marriage, but he had an even more important purpose for embarking on this risky operation. He had thought this was not the time to address the questions he had regarding his sexual orientation; but then it had occurred to him that maybe this was exactly the time to do that. And more particularly, that this might be the perfect opportunity for him to confront his thoughts and feelings about Eroica. Until then, he had never really stopped to analyze the effect the thief had on him because, quite simply, the circumstances had never allowed it. Whenever they met it was always at an inopportune time, usually in the middle of a mission that idiot would butt his nose in, which was certainly no time to think over their relationship. But even if he had the time to think about it, that bloody airhead never gave him a chance. He always acted too indecently, provoked him too much, and never paid any heed where they were or in whose presence; and thus Klaus automatically retaliated violently without thinking. Although the Major could control himself in just about any situation, Eroica was the one person so singularly capable of making him lose his temper; and, intentionally or not, he never failed to make ample use of this ability of his. Therefore Klaus somehow had to reduce Dorian's usual levels of indecency, make him act properly if only for a short amount of time. That was the only way he would be able to tolerate his presence long enough to see what the thief was really like, and what was it, after all, about him that attracted Klaus so much.

Recruiting the Earl's services for the role of his 'wife' was just the thing for that purpose. Having to act like a proper lady, and in the presence of the Major's father no less, it would be impossible for Eroica to throw sexual insinuations, ogle him or try to seduce him. And just as Klaus had predicted, it had indeed been impossible – well, with a few exceptions, but on the whole Dorian had restrained himself enough for the Major to be able to rein in his temper around him as well. And so, for the first time ever, Klaus had been able to coexist with Dorian for two whole days and not spend the entirety of that time yelling at him or manhandling him. He had been able to converse with him more or less normally, and he had finally got to hear Dorian speaking his mind honestly instead of spouting the usual romantic nonsense. It was exactly this honesty on his part that Klaus needed, so that he could be honest with himself in turn. For a long time he'd been suspecting that behind the Earl's flirty and frivolous act there was an earnest attachment towards him, but he had no way of verifying this suspicion – and with his exceedingly mistrustful nature, mere suspicions weren't nearly enough to earn his trust. At the end of the day, the Major's ability to connect with others hinged on the trust he placed in them; no matter how intense the physical attraction, it would be impossible for him to be intimate with someone he did not trust. Eroica had often shown signs that he might be worthy of his trust, but just as many times he had tricked the Major most spectacularly and, naturally, this wasn't exactly helping his credibility. Klaus had truly taken a leap of faith when he asked the thief to help him deal with his father – but it was the only way to put his sense of commitment to the test. If Dorian could help him with such a tricky and personal problem without letting his selfishness get the better of him, it would mean that despite his whimsical front he was indeed capable of maintaining a serious relationship. Of course the risks were inordinately high – if his father saw through the deception or if the Earl divulged their little conspiracy the consequences would be nothing short of disastrous for the Major's life. But Klaus had never been one to chicken out of an endeavor because it was too risky, and in any case the way things were between him and his father he reckoned it couldn't get much worse. And while he realized that most people would find it rather unethical to test a prospective partner in such a fashion, for him it was a necessary step. Klaus did not push Dorian away all this time because he was appalled by homosexual relationships in particular; he was averse to any and all relationships, a veritable lone wolf. It was nigh inconceivable for him to allow anyone past his defenses; and whoever was to be granted that privilege would have to prove being worthy of it first.

Eroica would seem the least likely person to achieve this, given his flippant personality; but underneath his flippancy hid a determination rarely encountered these days. He had surprised the Major in so many ways; when they had first met Klaus would never have imagined that this self-indulgent person who always put his pleasure over everything else would endure such hardships and face so many dangers to be by his side. Boarding a hijacked plane, facing down the most dangerous KGB agent with an empty gun, stepping in the way of a charging bull…not to mention confronting the Major's own fury, which was likely more risky than all the above. In his line of work the Major had encountered many brave men and it wasn't easy to impress him in matters of courage; but Eroica had managed to impress him, although he had never let it show. His ingenuity and quick thinking was also more remarkable than any other person's Klaus had ever met; it had even surpassed his own at times when the thief had been able to salvage what seemed a hopeless situation, like when he removed the bomb from the peace summit under everyone's noses or when he stole the microfilm from the KGB agent on the Austrian border just when the Major thought it was out of his reach for sure. Therefore it wasn't that Klaus wasn't aware of Dorian's good qualities; but it was darn hard to appreciate them while being driven up the wall by that idiot's constant perverted attacks and complete disregard of propriety. And since patience had never been one of his virtues, he had never considered making allowances for their vastly different characters and letting Dorian get closer to him…after all, he didn't need anyone getting closer to him, as he firmly believed. But not only the thief wasn't discouraged by his brusqueness, but slowly but surely he started having an effect on him. It was like a rock getting hit by the waves: at first glance it seems completely unaffected, but as they crash onto it for years on end, slowly but relentlessly they eat away at it, altering its shape forever. As time wore on, the effect became more pronounced until Klaus could no longer deny it, at least to himself. But without the element of trust, he would never have allowed himself to yield; and until now, he had never been able to come up with a surefire way to test Dorian's trustworthiness. Therefore he had stubbornly clung onto his denial; it was easy to keep doing that as long as the thief, too, kept up his outrageous flirting. As long as Dorian kept being…well, Eroica, it was easy for Klaus, too, to keep being Iron Klaus and treat him accordingly, and even convince himself that this was how things were supposed to be. But when finally Dorian dropped his mask, Klaus realized his own would inevitably follow suit; because what he had seen underneath was what he'd been secretly wishing he would see, even if he had never admitted it.

The Major was still far from certain things would work out for the two of them; he was all too aware of their differences and frequent conflicts of interest, and in spite of never having been in a relationship, he knew perfectly well that it wasn't going to be even remotely like the Earl's rose-colored fantasies. Sooner or later there'd be problems cropping up between them, and although he was fairly convinced that Dorian's feelings for him were genuine, there was no telling whether they'd be able to withstand the inevitable clashing of their tempers. But there was really no way of knowing what the future had in store for them…all he could do was take it one step at a time and see what would become of this tempestuous relationship of theirs. What a rollercoaster it was indeed, progressing from sworn enemies to unwilling allies, and now to actual lovers. But he had to acknowledge that, although all his adult life had been fraught with adventures and dangers and could not be called boring by a long shot, his encounter with Eroica had brought a totally new kind of challenge to it, a challenge even someone of his abilities would find hard to tackle. He could not deny that even espionage wasn't nearly as capable of holding his interest as that one individual.

Dorian stirred beside him and slowly opened his eyes, and they instantly lit up as he perceived the Major sitting next to him. "What time is it, Klaus?" he asked drowsily, turning his head to see the sun flooding in the room. "I do believe I've slept more than usually."

"Eight hundred hours thirty-two minutes," the Major said crisply, glancing at his watch. The Earl's eyes widened in astonishment. "And you're still in bed?! The world must be coming to an end!" he exclaimed in his usual theatric fashion.

"I thought you would be pleased to see your decadent habits rubbing off on me," Klaus said with his usual disgruntled expression. Dorian laughed and propped himself up on his elbow, beaming at him. "Why of course I am delighted to see that, darling," he said, his cerulean eyes sparkling joyfully. "I'm merely surprised you would risk your father's displeasure by not joining him for breakfast – not to mention miss out on your daily exercise regimen."

"Father left at dawn to go to that hunting party he was invited to the other day; I heard his car leaving," Klaus said in an unusually relaxed tone. "And I can exercise just as well in the evening." Normally he would never be able to stay idle in bed after waking up, but somehow with Eroica sleeping next to him lazing around was much more tolerable. He only hoped that the Earl's presence alone would not be enough to turn him into a slacker.

"Oh no, I could never live with myself if you strayed from your virtuous lifestyle on my account," Dorian said in the same theatrical tone, putting a hand on his chest. "But if you insist on staying in bed, there are some…exercises you could practice here – with my help."

"You just woke up and you're already thinking about getting laid…you are indeed a pervert among perverts," the Major said disdainfully, although deep down he wasn't all that displeased at the suggestion. "Guilty as charged," Dorian laughed again. "Besides, I want to make the most of what time we have; your father will leave in three days and after that we probably won't be able to meet for quite some time. I have neglected my operations long enough as it is, and you'll be taking on some mission soon now that you're back to normal, won't you?"

Klaus nodded without a word; truly, now that his personal issues had been resolved he was itching to get back in action. Pleasant as these last few days were, he simply wasn't the kind of man to sit on his hands for too long. Dorian let out a small sigh; he was more or less expecting this would be the case. Iron Klaus was still Iron Klaus, there was no way his personality would change just because he slept with him. But Dorian felt he should be content with what he had already accomplished; the mere fact that he and Klaus were in a relationship now was in itself nothing short of a miracle. Besides, if the Major changed he wouldn't be the same man he fell in love with, would he?

He smiled broadly again and lay back on the bed, spreading his arms wide open. "Then I must insist we do not waste a single second of our precious time together," he said assertively. "Come, my valiant warrior. Conquer me." Klaus hesitated for only a second before proceeding with the conquest with all the ferocity of a ravenous wolf. After all, he didn't believe in wasting time either.

As they became one again both of them knew that, although the most formidable obstacles keeping them apart had been removed, they had by no means triumphed over every difficulty. But neither of them suspected that their greatest trial was yet to come.