Disclaimer: Guess what? A most amazing truth just revealed itself to me! I DON'T OWN BTTF! =D I also don't own The Matrix, Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure, Barney and Friends or Chrichael J. Floxoyd. For those of you who don't know who Chrichael is, just ask.
One more thing... thanks to everyone who sent in emails! ^_^ They are all greatly appreciated. (To Flaming Trails: Did you really need to send that many?)
They've Got Mail
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From - hi_i_am_a_dude(at)hotmail(.)com
To - marshmallowsrule(at)hotmail(.)com, I12P(at)hillvalleymail(.)com, futureboy85(at)hillvalleymail(.)com, mashed_snakes(at)hotmail(.)com, findingneo(at)yahoo(.)com, brocolli_forever(at)hillvalleymail(.)com, clocktower123(at)hillvalleymail(.)com, chrichael_j_floxoyd(at)twilightzone(.)com, poisonforlunch(at)hotmail(.)com, icecubes_yay(at)hotmail(.)com, death_to_you(at)wehatemanure(.)com, nolife69(at)hillvalleymail(.)com
Subject: Pass this on and help.
Very Fett is a poor, misunderstood individual whose name has been made fun of time and again. Now, however, Barney and Friends Inc. has offered to give him a name-change for the price of $10,000,000. Coming from a poor family, Very Fett is therefore unable to come up with the seemingly meagre sum. However, Barney and Friends Inc. has generously said that they would pay 1 cent of the total cost for each e-mail sent out to inform others of Very Fett's condition.
You too can play a part! Forward this mail to everyone you know, and help raise the money! Every cent counts!
~-~-~
From - stoko981(at)hotmail(.)com
To - i_love_calvin_klein(at)hillvalleymail(.)com
Subject: nil
Looking for someone from your past? Maybe Marty is closer to you than you think.
- Stoko
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From - fangflux(at)hotmail(.)com
To - founderofclaytonravine(at)hotmail(.)com
Subject: Re: nil
Make me. I have an army of groupies ready and waiting to storm the house and take Doc -- by force, if necessary. I hold the Book of E-ville and am friends with a killer bunny. ((.)net) I WILL have Doc.
- Flaming Trails
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From - futureboy85(at)hillvalleymail(.)com
To - pinheads_forever(at)hillvalleymail(.)com, myguitarneedstuning(at)hillvalleymail(.)com, bandgeekofhillvalley(at)yahoo(.)com
Subject: Good luck
Okay guys, I don't know when you'll be getting this but the competition's today so just play your best and see what we get.
P.S. I tried distributing earmuffs to the teacher's but they didn't fall for it. We have to do this the hard way, then. Cover your instrument with sound-proof material. Hopefully it works.
Good luck everybody.
~-~-~
From - i_love_calvin_klein(at)hillvalleymail(.)com
To - stoko981(at)hotmail(.)com
Subject: Re: nil
Huh? Who are you?
- Lorraine McFly
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From - founderofclaytonravine(at)hotmail(.)com
To - fangflux(at)hotmail(.)com
Subject: Re: Re: nil
Come and try to get him. You won't succeed. WE'RE MARRIED, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! What on earth makes you think he'll leave me for you?
- Clara
~-~-~
From - futureboy85(at)hillvalleymail(.)com
To - julesvernefan(at)yahoo(.)com
Subject: nil
Hi Doc.
The competition's today. Wish me luck.
- Marty
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From - DocNov121955(at)aol(.)com
To - founderofclaytonravine(at)hotmail(.)com, fangflux(at)hotmail(.)com
Subject: nil
You girls keep your hands off my doc! He's mine!
~-~-~
From - fangflux(at)hotmail(.)com
To - julesvernefan(at)yahoo(.)com
Subject: nil
Hallo. You're so cute when you're asleep! I worship the ground you walk on. I plan to liberate you from The Dark One's Grip soon, don't worry.
- Flaming Trails
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From - myguitarneedstuning(at)hillvalleymail(.)com
To - futureboy85(at)hillvalleymail(.)com, pinheads_forever(at)hillvalleymail(.)com, bandgeekofhillvalley(at)yahoo(.)com
Subject: Gooder luck
Yeah, same thing, good luck everybody. We can do this. To quote Marty, 'If you put your mind to it, you can accomplish anything.' THE WYLD STALLYNS SHALL WISH THEY NEVER WERE BORN!
P.S. I received one of those earmuffs. My dog tried to eat it and had to be sent to the vet.
~-~-~
From - DocNov121955(at)aol(.)com
To - julesvernefan(at)yahoo(.)com
Subject: nil
Emmett you sexy hotty... I need an examination Dr. Brown... forget Flaming and Clara... I can make you REALLY happy.
- Gina
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From - fangflux(at)hotmail(.)com
To - futureboy85(at)hillvalleymail(.)com
Subject: nil
Hey there. Just to let you know, Jennifer hasn't been going out with Clarence. Clarence is going out with her twin sister, Claudia Elisabeth. I was at their first date together. Jennifer isn't cheating on you. :)
Also, I think I have a way to get Neo to leave you be. . . . :)
~-~-~
From - pinheads_forever(at)hillvalleymail(.)com
To - futureboy85(at)hillvalleymail(.)com, myguitarneedstuning(at)hillvalleymail(.)com, bandgeekofhillvalley(at)yahoo(.)com
Subject: Re: Gooder luck
To quote Marty, 'If you put your mind to it, you can accomplish anything.'
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
~-~-~
From - julesvernefan(at)yahoo(.)com
To - fangflux(at)hotmail(.)com
Subject: Re: nil
Who ARE you, by the way? Just that Clara keeps blaming me for flirting with you and I don't even know who you are.
- Doc
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From - fangflux(at)hotmail(.)com
To - neo_anderson(at)thematrix(.)com
Subject: nil
I noticed you sent an e-mail to Keanu Reeves. Neo, you ARE Keanu Reeves. Furthermore, it has been established by Mike J. Nelson that Keanu Reeves is equivalent to a 2-by-4. Therefore, YOU are a 2-by-4. :)
- Flaming Trails
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From - DocNov121955(at)aol(.)com
To - julesvernefan(at)yahoo(.)com
Subject: nil
Emmett you gorgeous doctor... forget Flaming Trails and Clara...you are the only one that I want.
- Gina
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From - founderofclaytonravine(at)hotmail(.)com
To - fangflux(at)hotmail(.)com, DocNov121955(at)aol(.)com
Subject: nil
All right. This calls for drastic measures. WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE AND WHAT DO YOU WANT WITH DOC?
Leave him alone unless you want a virus sent to you each. You hear?
- Clara
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From - founderofclaytonravine(at)hotmail(.)com
To - julesvernefan(at)yahoo(.)com
Subject: nil
Emmett, who are all those girls who keep sending love letters to you? Kindly be reminded that YOU ARE MARRIED.
- Your darling wife, Clara.
~-~-~
From - neo_anderson(at)thematrix(.)com
To - fangflux(at)hotmail(.)com
Subject: Re: nil
Keanu Reeves? Never heard of him. I might have sent something to him though... I send something to everyone who might be the next One. Which is a lot of people.
And what makes you think I'm a piece of wood?
- Neo
P.S. You're not an agent by any chance, are you?
~-~-~
From - julesvernefan(at)yahoo(.)com
To - founderofclaytonravine(at)hotmail(.)com
Subject: Re: nil
Clara, do you really have to keep checking my mail for me? How do you access my account, anyway?
- Emmett
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From - buttercups_hunk(at)aol(.)com
To - futureboy85(at)hillvalleymail(.)com
Subject: nil
Marty,
Don't you feel the pain of Jules killing Verne's pet? The little son of a (censored to keep this G)! I have a virus you can give the bird. It's called... THE COCONUT VIRUS! It makes everything belonging to Jules turn into things from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. When one of the things turns into a coconut, the receiver's e-mail account is deleted for all time.
Besides, I'M THE BLACK SHEEP OF THE FAMILY! EVERYONE FORGETS ABOUT ME!
- Faolcrop McFly
~-~-~
From - founderofclaytonravine(at)hotmail(.)com
To - julesvernefan(at)yahoo(.)com
Subject: Re: Re: nil
If you don't like me checking your mail, then maybe you should change your password to something less obvious. I mean, 12111955? You call that secretive?
- Clara
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From - futureboy85(at)hillvalleymail(.)com
To - buttercups_hunk(at)aol(.)com
Subject: Re: nil
Fine, send Jules The Coconut Virus. Not that it would do much good... I mean, he'll just get a new e-mail account. He's done it at least three times already.
I checked, and there's no Faolcrop in my family. Who are you, really? A black sheep, as you said? We don't have many sheep around here... and there's certainly none in my family.
Sorry, but I've got to go. I'm late for a competition.
- Marty
~-~-~
From - DShannon(at)Paratech(.)com
To - julesvernefan(at)yahoo(.)com
Subject: Dimensional Crisis
Dear Doctor Brown,
My name is Dan Shannon, and I am with a band of men known as the TimeWise Dimensional Assistance Unit. We travel to other dimensions, and since we've been to your world, other worlds are crossing over into yours.
We need your help, Doctor Brown. Contact me with a reply if you're willing to co-operate.
- Dan Shannon, Paratech Industries
~-~-~
From - julesvernefan(at)yahoo(.)com
To - DShannon(at)Paratech(.)com
Subject: Re: Dimensional Crisis
What kind of help do you need? Tell me and I'll see what I can do.
~-~-~
To - neo_anderson(at)thematrix(.)com
From - geeddf(at)yahoo(.)com
Subject: nil
I found a purple chinchilla in my backyard. And I DO live on Earth. In las vegas, nevada to be exact...
~-~-~
From - neo_anderson(at)thematrix(.)com
To - geeddf(at)yahoo(.)com
Subject: Re: nil
Go ahead then. Follow it and see where you end up.
- Neo
~-~-~
From - flautist_wannabe(at)hotmail(.)com
To - neo_anderson(at)thematrix(.)com
Subject: The Matrix
Neo, Neo.
Do you really know what the Matrix is?
Because you don't, although you may think you do.
The Matrix is a movie, Neo.
But of course, you won't believe that. Because if it was, you would know, right?
Wrong.
I know all about you, Neo.
Of how you never wanted to be The One.
Of how you miss that fast food restaurant near your house.
Of how you envy Agent Smith's sunglasses.
I can answer all those questions of yours, Neo.
"Who are you?"
"Will Agent Smith ever let me try on those cool sunglasses of his?"
"Will I ever eat a Big Mac again?"
"Who is Keanu Reeves?"
I have the answers, Neo.
Now all you have to do... is follow the green squirrel.
Time is running out.
Oh yeah.
- Anakin McFly
~-~-~
TO BE CONTINUED... Please review! ^_^
A note to anyone who wishes to send in mails in future; here are some rules:
- Kindly refrain from swearing, for two main reasons: One, I don't want to up the rating, and two, the author is an innocent 13 year old whose mind should not be polluted by such vulgarities.
- I will not be accepting any more e-mails which go along the line of '*insert character's name*, you are *insert actor's name*'. Sorry, but YOU CAN'T GIVE THEM THE TRUTH! THEY CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH! =P
Stoko: Okay, I put yours in. Thanks for your review!
Flaming Trails: The '(.)com' thing was so funny! ^_^ I received that like three times, and I was laughing so much everyone was giving me weird looks... Blame the weird formatting on ff(.)net. Did you really have to send so many mails? I could base the whole chapter just on them... thanks! =D By the way, who's Mike J. Nelson?
Faolcrop and Buttercup McFly: 'The Coconut Virus'? 0.0 Thanks for reviewing!
DocNov121955: Yours and Flaming Trail's reviews are... strange. This fic seems to be turning into yet another Catfight sequel... They were funny, anyway. ^_^
starfish: Ask your therapist to review. If you still know where he or she is.
Ectodude: Thanks for your mail! =D And I forgot to mention the last time that I have been hit on the head/face by a basketball AT LEAST 8 times. It might have affected my brain somehow. One of those times, my spectacles broke and I had to wear contacts for the rest of that week... bleagh.
Temporary Insanity: Is your temporal illness over yet? Thank you vewy much for reviewing.
Lapis Lazuli: Thanks for reviewing! You're back2thechaos' cousin? Okay...
mahoygan135: "Hey how about if Michael J. Fox starts sending Marty emails?" NOOOOOO! WHY DID YOU HAVE TO REMIND ME? I really really really really really want to do that but there's just one thing... ACTOR FICS ARE ILLEGAL ON FF(.)net! *goes off to cry* *sob* Of course, if you e-mailed MJF for me and asked his permission... *looks hopeful*
