A/N: This is for the Elim students who died in a flash flood last week. Goddess bless their souls, wherever they are now. (I'm sure the blessing of my wicked heathen Goddess doesn't mean much to them, but hey.)
Disclaimer: You know it, I know, it, we all know it, do I have to say it?
Warning: Ditto.
I Love My Sirius: Lita. Reason number 11. x3 I LUV U SO MUCH LETZ GT MARID AN HAV LITL IMPOSIBL BABIEZ
Note: If you've been wondering why I love Lita so much, SHAME ON YOU! Haha but srsly, on my LJ (link in my profile) there are two recent works of our sheer and utter genius that you should go and see, because we're geniuses and know Remus and Sirius in and out. We're also kinky and have twisted minds YAY. If nothing else, it's good for a laugh. Because we rock.
Another note: Yes, Lily and Peter. I put a lot of thought into that one, because I wasn't sure if I'd do it or not. I decided to in the end, for five outstanding reasons.
1: Lily's a very powerful person, and we all know Peter likes nothing more than someone powerful to protect him
2: Lily wants to hurt James, and since Peter seems to be the closest friend he has left, that's about the worst thing she could do.
3: Peter's fifteen, and Lily's HAWT. Plus she's like, a demon in the sack. Not that Pete'll ever find out... B)
4: Peter's never been the popular one, with the hot girl and good marks, and just for once, he wants/deserves to be the winner.
5: It's a good additional motive for him betraying the Potters; he was bitter, the same way Snape was. Could also be why he and Snape were so... ehe... tense in HBP.
Yet another note: Smeg. I just realised I bunged up the timeline totally... school was supposed to have ended awhile ago. Stoopid me. SO, I've ended school on the day it usually starts, with the excuse that it's in the past, they might have FOLLOWED A DIFFERENT SCHOOL YEAR OOOOH. Yeah. That's my excuse. -nods-
Heh it's actually because I'm used to the NZ school year, which has it's big holiday over Christmas-New Years, and has little two week holidays every ten weeks.
WHEN WILL THE NOTES END!? Erm. I just wanted to say that halfway through this chapter, something in my social life that's been pretty much shit for a long time worked itself out, and that made me happy. And so I wrote pain and misery and suffering, as I am so full of emo. -angsty tear-
The Super Duper Mega Secret Diary Of Sirius Orion Black
Remus began to speak very quickly. "Harry, I can explain about all that. It was a long time ago, and we were youn-"
Harry held up a hand. "You can relax. I'm not going to be a bastard like my father. I just want to know why you never told me."
"Well, Harry..." Remus sighed. "It was exactly that we were afraid of. That you would freak out, and not speak to either of us again. And after Sirius died, it was just too painful for me to tell you. I had no idea he still had all this stuff in his room... God." Remus took the book from Harry's hands, gently opening it to a well worn page, that had clearly been read over and over. Harry didn't pry, just watched a tenderness flow over his ex-professor's face, followed by an intense pain and longing. He sighed, features rearranging themselves, and passed the book back.
"You can keep this, Harry. Sirius would have wanted you to know. There are also photos concealed in his bedframe... you can keep them too. I've got my own copies."
"Thanks." Harry said slightly hoarsely, and just as Remus was about to leave, blurted out "Wait. Ron and I... er... well..."
Remus smiled. "Congratulations. You make a sweet couple."
Harry nodded. "It was only because of this that I realised. So... er... thanks."
"No problem." Remus grinned, and opened the door. I do have to go now, hopefully Molly hasn't blown anything up by now, trying to go looking for you three. I'll be back later."
Harry nodded. "Don't tell anyone."
"Wasn't planning on it."
When Harry returned to the lounge, Ron gave him a searching look, and Harry shrugged slightly in response. Hermione smiled from her seat next to Ron, gesturing to a cup of tea she had clearly made for Harry.
He sat down wearily, accepting it.
"So. I talked to Remus, and he thinks it's a good idea for us to stay here, for the time being. It's a lot safer than just about anywhere else. I think everyone would understand if you wanted to go somewhere else though, Harry."
"No, it's okay. I'm gonna go back up to Sirius' room." He stood up again, tea untouched. He needed to escape his own reality again, only for awhile.
He climbed back up to his Godfathers (and Remus' too probably, Harry realised) room in silence; neither Ron nor Hermione stopped him. When he got there he sat down on the no longer dusty bed, skimming quickly to find his place.
July 15, fifth year
The past two days have been pretty much the same. Dumbledore's given Remus and I both time off... He didn't explain to any of the rest of the staff why I got time off, but nobody questioned it. We've spent a lot of time wandering the castle aimlessly... nobody gives us shit if we hold hands or anything, they're not as shitheaded as James. Speaking of James, he's totally ignoring us, and attempting to ignore Lily and Pete, who seem to make a point of attaching themselves to each other the second he comes near. I may sound cruel, but it's always fun to watch James' face crumble at that.
Rem is feeling a lot better, thank God. We got... er... intimate again the other night. God, I don't mean to sound like such a fairy, but he is really beautiful when we're... erm... you know. (I say that as a figure of speech, as I still refuse to grant this diary any kind of humanity.) His hair (which reaches the middle of his back now) fans out around him, and his face takes on this... expression of bliss. I don't know how to describe it. He's just beautiful. And then when we're finished, he'll give this lazy smile and kiss me, and then he cuddles right up and falls asleep, and looks like an angel.
God, I really do sound like a flaming poof. It's okay though, 'cuz I love him, and that's enough. I think that's what he needs, what he's always needed. To be loved.
Jeeze, sappy much?
Haha.
I love Remus though, and now I know for sure that whatever adversity we face in the future, our love is strong enough to keep us together through it all.
Okay, I'm just gonna stop now.
G'night.
July 18, fifth year
Rem and I had to go back to class today. I think it helped him, being able to study, and be normal. He sure seemed more cheerful.
Oh, and something weird happened to me earlier. I was up here on Rem's bed, getting some notes for our homework, and guess what snotrag decided to talk to me?
Yep. James Potter. He came over and sat down on Rem's bed. (He wouldn't be sitting there if he knew what we'd been doing in this bed, heh heh heh.)
"Piss off, Potter." I glared at him
"Look Sirius, just hear me out."
"No. You forfeit that right the second you punched me. There's no 'big redemption' for James Potter. I'm afraid you've lost. Lost your girl, lost your fanclub, even lost your best friends. Goodbye, James." I got up, and left. He didn't try to follow... I think he knows he deserves it. I just don't give a shit about him anymore. He's a bigoted spoiled fuck, too stuck in old fashioned ways to care about anything but himself. Like a Gryffindor version of my family. Fucking purebloods are all the same.
August 1, fifth year
The year's over. What a weird thought.
I'm going home, to Hell, and Rem is going to stay with his dad. I'm gonna miss the hell out of him.
We said a long goodbye on the train, so we wouldn't be doing the whole kissy goodbye in front of anyone. As much as we don't mind holding hands and stuff, I think passionate making out in the middle of a platform full of our family and friends just might be a bit weird.
We went out hand in hand though, and... wound up kissing subtly in an area just concealed by some walls, until Rem's dad came to get him. He didn't seem to care who was wrapped around his son, just told Remus to say goodbye and get ready to go, then left with Rem's trunk. We said our last goodbyes, promised to write, and then he left, and Reg and mum showed up like magic. They didn't say a word to me, we all just bundled into the car and headed home. I've got a few photos of Rem and I that Pete took, and I'm looking at them right now, and missing him. I reckon I'll make a place to hide them, so I can get them out whenever I want.
Then I'm gonna write him a letter.
August 2, hols.
I have to get out of here.
I've been in my room since I got back, having Kreacher bring me food, and just looking at the photos of Rem and me. I know it's kinda risky, but I put one on the bedside table, in the frame that used to have a picture of the four of us in. I've stuck it on the wall instead.
Anyway, this morning when I was asleep, Reg came in to call me for breakfast. He sort of gave me a shove like he didn't want to touch me, or he'd get corrupted by my Gryffindority or whatever. I don't get fourteen year olds.
Anyway, he shoved me, and I grabbed him for a tickle. Kid's still my baby brother, even if he's a spoiled Slytherin brat. So I tickled him and noogied him and generally roughed him up for waking me, which was pretty much the stupidest thing I've ever done, because he saw the picture on the sidetable. His eyes went all wide, and he stopped fighting and just stared at it. And then he jumped up and glared at me.
"POOFTER!" He yelled, and ran downstairs.
I can hear him now, talking to mum. She's gonna come up here and slap me, call me a disgrace to the Noble House Of Black, Tojours Pur, ect. Well fuck her. I'm putting everything I need in a bag and leaving. I'll have to go to James' house, see if I can floo from there to Rem's dad's place. He won't mind, he's a decent bloke. It'll be a bit difficult to explain everything to him, but I'm sure there won't be a problem.
Hopefully.
August 2, hols
I'm at James' house. His parents are far too sweet. Seriously.
I got here and his mum answered the door. I asked if I could use the floo, said I'd left home, and she invited me to stay here. I tried to explain that I wasn't talking to James at the moment, I just needed the floo, but she wouldn't have any of it.
Much as I hate to do it, since Mr. and Mrs. Potter are so nice, I think I'll have to sneak away. They're asleep now - James didn't say a word when he saw me, just went to bed - and I've left them a note, I'm gonna floo over to Remus' now.
August 3, hols.
Today has been glorious.
The sun is shining, and Remus and I are together again. He just told his dad I was a friend staying, and he didn't seem to care - Rem's dad apparently works all day every day, so he doesn't really see much of him. We're cuddled on Rem's... well, our bed at the moment, and Rem's rubbing my thigh, which is really rather distr--
Dammit. I have no resolve whatsoever. And my boyfriend is a sex fiend.
A sex fiend who giggles like a woman.
Ow. But hits like a guy, definitely.
Matter of fact, he's a pillow ninja.
So, James' parents floo called in the morning to make sure I was ok, but I reassured them that I needed to stay with Remus for awhile for some reason, I don't even remember what, and in the end, Remus shut them up by coming over, kissing me softly, and asking if I wanted a cuppa, then pretending to be surprised that I was talking to someone. Git. God I love him.
Mr. and Mrs. Potter just smiled, looked at each other, and said their goodbyes. I wonder how a git like James came out of them.
Mind you, people have asked how I can possibly be related to my family.
I hate them.
Oh hey Rem, leave my ear alone. I'm sure it can't taste good.
August 10, hols
The past week has been pretty much the best of my life. It's just me and Rem, in a little cottage in the middle of a farmland. There' so much to do... a forest to explore, fields to romp in, even a little lake for skinnydipping. (Which I must admit, is a lot more fun in theory. In theory, you see, your junk doesn't freeze off.) Rem and I have been loving every second of it, for certain. This is the best holiday of my life; country breezes, Remus, flowers, Remus, birds singing, Remus, oh, and did I mention Remus?
I love him so much.
August 12
Rem's dad is off work today. He sat down in front of us at the breakfast table (We were doing our usual eating-while-secretly-holding-hands routine) and just asked us how long we had been dating. Just like that.
As it turned out, he was okay with it. He had kind of guessed the other night when he got home early, to... uhm... noises. Yyyeah.
He wasn't really bothered though, just wants us to be careful. All the usual stuff adults say. And then he hugged Rem, then me, and went outside to do some gardening. We're on the sofa now, enjoying not having to worry as much about getting caught; Rem's sitting in my lap, playing with my feet. And now he's running his hands up and down my thighs.
I think I'm going to have to take this opportunity to remind him that HIS DAD IS HERE AND WE HAVE NOWHERE TO GO. SO TOUGH.
Heh, heh, heh.
Now I'm rubbing his thigh, just in punishment.
I wonder how the hell we'll survive today...
A/N: Ahh and the world is happy again. Only not fully... MWAHAHA.
So yeah, school will start on October 1. That gives them two lovely months off for PLOT DEVELOPMENT OOOOH.
Yeah, fags.
REVIEW TIEM
I Threw Berries At Tomo!: haii grrl wat u up 2? hae remus sez ily 2 sirius yea yea. dere imposi-baby is kikin him an he wantz sirius 2 cum an feel. o an ill get u wit da beries nex tiem! ily! REASUN ELEVUNZ! HEARTZORZ
And thanks for the reviews to; dracolover18, ayydereVoltaire, riseofafallenanger, EverlastingNight, blackdog7, ToLoveMyOtherSelf, and reapergrrl
Oh, and a shout out to Nöwan Emo McFagster. Nöwan Gothy McDykester loves you. In a non-homosexual way, of course. After all, she wouldn't want to be a LESBIAN, would she? Oooh that fucking dyke. Heh. ILY.
