A/N: SO YEAH. I was thinking about posting this yesterday, but the login interface was down. So I guess I'm posting it now. Yup.

Did you know I posted the first chapter of this fic a little less than a month ago?
Time flies.

This chapter is dedicated to everyone who went home to a crazy family.

Note – I've simplified Freljord politics and geography by just saying that for Snowdown everyone hangs out together.

Disclaimer: Katarina's orphaned punchline about having two is taken from Dragon Age II.


Twas the week after Snowdown and all through the League,
Every champion was packing, most at top speed.
They had the post-holidays off to shuffle on home,
But one daring soul was about to face the unknown…

Monday – Katarina's Apartment – Morning

Cassiopeia threw herself down on her sister's couch and wailed. "You know what those Freljord scum did to me! To my beautiful body! How could you betray me like this?"

Katarina dumped an armful of knives into her suitcase. "You're just mad you're single and I'm going to my girlfriend's place for the holidays."

Cassiopeia thrashed around with her tail. "Your own flesh and blood! Abandoned!"

Katarina picked up one of her steak knives from her kitchen counter. Should she bring it? Or maybe the meat cleaver? "You know Cass," she said, "I'm sure you could come too. I'll bet the ice would be great for your snake bits. Just what the doctor ordered."

The serpentine champion put the back of her hand to her brow. "Oh you're so cruel to me. After all I've done. And now you're leaving me. You're leaving me all alone to sit and listen to Swain discuss the finer points of world domination for a week and a half. Nonstop. With Le Blanc offering opinions no one asked for. And gods forbid Darius try to say anything intelligent. And Draven! You're abandoning me to deal with Draven!"

Katarina threw the steak knife and it embedded itself in the back of the couch, just above Cassiopeia's head. "Shut up, you sound just like mother," Katarina snapped.

Cass slithered off the couch and headed to the door. "Fine. Be that way. But don't come crawling to me when you forget your parka and freeze to death."

"I won't!" Kat yelled at her departing sister. When Cass had finally left, the Sinister Blade went over to her couch and retrieved her steak knife. Well, her question was answered, at least. She'd leave the steak knife at the League. The balance was off. She'd been aiming slightly lower.

Monday – League Departure Area – Afternoon

"… please remember both champions and summoners may be recalled to the Institute of War at any time in case of an emergency…" droned the speakers positioned all around the nexus of the vast departure hall. The nexus sat in the middle of the room and was surrounded by summoning circles that the League used to ferry people back and forth from all over Valoran and the surrounding islands.

Upon entering the room, it didn't take Katarina long to locate the Freljord delegation. All returning together for a Snowdown truce at Rakelstake, they were the only cluster of people wearing more white and blue than the Demacians. Dressed in black from head to toe, Katarian knew she was going to stick out like a sore thumb. She was not, however, expecting any trouble. At least, she wasn't expecting any trouble until Lissandra stopped her as she was crossing the room to where Ashe was standing with the other Freljord champions.

"Noxus is that way," said the Ice Witch. She pointed to the giant clump of red, black, and purple that was the Noxian delegation. Cassiopeia was sitting there, glaring at Katarina and miming strangling her.

"I can see that," said Katarina. She rested her hands on two of her favorite knives but didn't pull them out. Contrary to popular belief, she knew what restraint was and occasionally exercised it.

"Perhaps then you should make your way to where you're wanted," Lissandra said.

Katarina smiled. It was not a nice smile. "That's just what I was doing." Behind the Ice Witch, she could see Tryndamere was coming over. Oh great, just what she needed.

"Really?" Lissandra asked. "It seemed to me that you were trying to join the Freljord circle."

Katarina counted to ten in her head, visualized stabbing Lissandra multiple times, and then took a deep breathe. "How observant."

Lissandra was about to say something else when Tryndamere finally arrived. "Is there a problem here?" he asked.

"Of course not," answered Lissandra. "Katarina was about to return to her comrades."

"Huh," Tryndamere grunted. "Too bad for her. Ashe said," the Barbarian paused to clear his throat and then continued in an excessively high pitched falsetto, "Katarina needs to stop flirting with Lissandra and get over here now!"

Katarina and Lissandra went silent and stared at Tryndamere with equal parts shock and horror. In the background, the League announced droned on, "… do not leave your bags unattended. Repeat, do not leave your bags unattended. If you see one or more yordles tampering with your luggage, please report to security…."

Having finally regained her senses, Lissandra snapped at Tryndamere, "Oh, so you're going to emasculate yourself further by being party to your wife's deviant infidelity?"

Lissandra was taller than the barbarian, so Tryndamere had to tilt his head up slightly to get in her face. "Ashe can do whatever she wants, so fuck off ice bitch." He grabbed Katarina's arm and dragged the surprised Noxian off to the Freljord crowd.

"I'm not going to thank you," Katarina growled.

"I don't care," Tryndamere answered. "Do yourself a favor, assassin. Make sure Lissandra slips and dies on a patch of her own ice."

When they reached the Freljord champions, Ashe came over and gave Katarina a brief kiss as greeting. "I hope Lissandra didn't give you too much trouble."

Katarina glared at Tryndamere, who was pointedly ignoring them. "Nothing I couldn't handle."

"Lissandra is old fashioned," Ashe said. "Not everyone from the Freljord is like her." A gust of cold air heralded Anivia's arrival. "Just some of them," Ashe finished.

The cryophoenix bowed to Ashe and then cocked her head to the side, regarding the pair of women. "Ah, young love," said Anivia. "But wherever shall the eggs come from?"

"… all travelers be advised, a band of yordles has spiked the complementary eggnog," blared the hall speakers. "If you experience any hallucinations, please contact your nearest support…"

It was going to be a long week.

Monday – Rakelstake – Evening

Though Katarina had been to most parts of Valoran and the surrounding islands, she had never been to the Freljord before, and for good reason. Rakelstake was fucking cold.

The Sinister Blade sat huddled in the room she'd been assigned (Ashe and Tryndamere shared a bed here, and he had made it very clear he would not sleep on the couch). In front of her was the fireplace, crackling merrily. Around her was every blanket she'd been able to find. And still, her teeth chattered.

Katarina was busy listing to herself the reasons why she hadn't just gone home with Cass when Reason Number One entered the room.

"I found a thicker coat for you," Ashe said, holding up a fur garment. Realizing Katarina wasn't going to leave her fort of blankets to take the clothes, the queen of the Freljord walked over to the freezing woman and set the coat on top of her.

Katarina glared. "I don't get it. Look at yourself. You're wearing a miniskirt and half a shirt. Why aren't you cold?"

Ashe laughed. "It's all about the cape. Come, dear, it's time for dinner."

Monday – Noxus Headquarters – Night

Swain paced back and forth in the center of the circle of champions and commanders who made up the Noxian high command. "If we ever want to best Demacia, we need a more efficient strategy," he said.

"I suggest we create a committee for more efficient strategies," said LeBlanc.

Cassiopeia rolled her eyes. She knew the leader of the Black Rose wasn't even being sarcastic. More than one good idea from the high command had fallen prey to LeBlanc's committees. The woman was both the busiest busybody in Noxus and the only one in Noxus who specialized in making copies of themselves. It was a nightmare.

"No," barked Swain. "I've already figured it out. What we need is publicity for Noxus!"

At this point, Cassiopeia started to tune everyone out. Was that dirt under her nails?

"Now that is what I'm talking about," said Draven. "Finally, we can talk about my proposal to my face on every milk carton in the city."

LeBlanc cut in, "Your proposal to replace the faces of missing children with your own face was vetoed by the sub-committee on dairy product advertising."

Darius scoffed. "Only good thing those committees have ever done."

"Silence," ordered Swain. "I have already determined the best tactic for increasing our notoriety." He pulled out a remote and used it to lower a projector screen from the ceiling. "I have posted the following video to LeagueTube." Swain hobbled over to a laptop that was plugged into the room's projector and hit 'Play.'

Each person in the room stared at the video, entranced.

Draven wolf whistled.

Cassiopeia gradually became aware that everyone was staring at her. She looked up from her nails. "What?"

Tuesday – Rakelstake – Morning

Wearing the heaviest coat she'd ever seen, Katarina left her room and headed to the dining hall for breakfast. Ashe wouldn't be there – something about diplomacy and a scuffle between bears and barbarians - but Katarina was hungry. When she got there, as if by some signal, everyone stopped eating and stared at her. Confused, she asked, "What?"

It was Sejuani who spoke up. "You've got a lot of nerve being here after what you've done." The leader of the Winter's Claw got up from the table and walked over to tower over Katarina.

Katarina was not intimidated. Noxian badasses did not get intimidated by giant Freljord berserkers in their personal space. "I have no idea what you're talking about," Katarina said, attempting to placate the woman. The Noxian badass tried to reach for a knife, but realized that it was impossible to draw a blade discreetly when she was wearing thirty pounds of fur.

When angry, Sejuani closely resembled her pet boar. "Are you telling me that you have no idea about the video of you that your commander posted?"

"No…" said Katarina. Was that foam coming out of Sejuani's mouth? Maybe she should go to a doctor. It could be rabies. "What video?"

Scowling, Sejuani pulled out her smart phone and pulled up LeagueTube. "Some user named 'TheSwainTrain' posted this a few days ago."

Katarina leaned in to watch. Behind her, everyone else in the room clustered to peer over her shoulder. In horror, the Sinister Blade watched a miniature Cassiopeia make out with a miniature Katarina in high definition.

"Oh dear," Anivia clucked. "The youth are so progressive these days, aren't they?"

"I didn't…" Katarina spluttered. "It wasn't my idea. She made me do it."

Sejuani put away her phone and glared at all the onlookers. "You looked like you liked it."

A burst of misguided family pride filled Katarina's chest. "My sister is very good at what she does."

"She's a slut," Sejuani spat. "And it runs in the family."

"Well, we all have to be good at something," said Anivia. "Bless her heart."

Katarina was suddenly very annoyed that she couldn't reach any of her knives. "My sister is not…" She trailed off and rethought what she was about to say. "I'm not a slut!"

"What else are you doing in Ashe's bed?" Sejuani challenged.

Not about to back down, Katarina snarled, "I know you savages are stupid, but surely even you've noticed that Tryndamere and Ashe share a bed and I have my own. It's very comfortable, actually." She wasn't even sure if she was trying to defend her honor or her relationship. For a brief moment she wished she were her sister. Cass would have just puffed up a little and taken 'slut' as a complement.

"What is going on here?" Ashe's voice sounded from the far end of the dining hall. On her right stood Tryndamere, and on her left was Volibear. The three made for an imposing image.

Sejuani directed one last withering glare at Katarina before turning to Ashe. "I was just welcoming your guest to the Freljord."

"How nice of you," said Ashe. "And I hate to interrupt, but Volibear has something important he'd like to discuss with you."

Sejuani grunted and headed off to somewhere else in the Rakelstake palace, accompanied by the giant armored bear.

Ashe herself approached Katarina. "Freljord welcomes can be a little chilly," she said.

"I noticed that," replied Katarina. "Is she always such an asshole?"

Ashe gave a queenly sigh. "Sejuani and I don't get along. And Katarina, I'm sorry dearest, but I have to greet a group of Demacian envoys this afternoon, I won't be able to show you around Rakelstake."

Katarina tried to hide her disappointment.

"But I've asked Tryndamere to be your guide in my stead," Ashe continued. "I'll be with you for dinner, I hope." The queen gave Katarina a quick kiss on the cheek before heading off to do royal things.

Tryndamere glared at Katarina.

Katarina glared at Tryndamere.

They both glared.

Finally, Tryndamere grunted, "Do you want to get a drink?"

Tuesday – Rakelstake Bar – Afternoon

Katarina sat at the bar next to Tryndamere. She had three shots of Fireball whiskey in front of her and he had a large glass of straight vodka on the rocks. The bar itself was almost identical to the one at the League. Both bars, after all, were owned by Gragas.

For a while Katarina and Tryndamere sat in silence, contemplating their alcohol. Then, trying to start up a conversation, Katarina asked, "What did Volibear want with Sejuani?"

Tryndamere gulped down a mouthful of his vodka and Katarina tried not to cringe just thinking about it. "Volibear wants to marry Bristle. He's asking Sejuani's permission first. He's a very traditional bear."

"Bristle?" Katarina asked.

"Her boar," Tryndamere answered.

"Oh."

Tuesday – Noxus Headquarters – Afternoon

"Three million views," Swain crowed. He pounded his cane excitedly against the marble floor of the meeting room. "In less than a week!"

Cassiopeia coiled her tail around herself coyly. "I'm a very good kisser."

Swain pulled out a video camera. "I have just the plan for our next step," he announced.

Cassiopeia tried to hide her excited smile.

"Draven, get over here!" Swain commanded.

Draven sauntered over. "Draven's always here when you need him."

"Go make out with Darius," Swain commanded.

Darius, who'd been slouching in his chair and ignoring Swain's yammering, sat up immediately. "What! No!"

"What about me?" Cassiopeia hissed angrily.

"Swain, this hasn't passed through our LeagueTube committee," protested LeBlanc.

Draven advanced on his brother. "Come here Darius, big boy, Draaaaven's waiting."

Tuesday – Rakelstake Bar - Late Afternoon

"And he says – he says – 'I swear I had two when I came in here!'" Katarina finished.

Tryndamere nearly fell off his bar stool laughing. The excessive amounts of vodka he'd had probably didn't help his balance. Finding himself again, he slurred, "You're not so bad."

Just as drunk as her companion, Katarina nodded enthusiastically. "You're not so bad either."

"Even if you are banging my wife," Tryndamere clarified.

Katarina snorted and glanced around. "Hey, you know what? I'm actually not," she whispered loudly.

"WHAT?" Tryndamere roared, attracting many strange looks from the bar's other patrons.

Katarina gestured for him to lower his volume. Still whispering, she replied, "We're just taking things slow. You know? But don't tell anyone. Ashe said something about politics. And a relationship built on a deep emotional attachment instead of instant gratification would be bad for my reputation, you know?" She paused, and then drunkenly suggested, "Actually tell whoever you want. Cassiopeia's my sister. No one'll believe you."

Tryndamere staggered to his feet. "I'll bet someone will believe me!" And then he staggered out of the bar.

Katarina sat there alone for a moment. Then. "Oh shit." She stumbled out of the bar after him.

Wednesday – Rakelstake Dining Hall - Morning

Terribly hungover, Katarina stumbled into the dining hall not really expecting anything except a lukewarm (because gods forbid anything in the Freljord be hot) serving of bacon and eggs.

She had not been expecting Udyr to walk up and shove his nose into her crotch. By the time her bleary mind had worked itself around what was going on, the beast man was already out of convenient knifing range. Deciding chasing after him to stab his face was too much work, Katarina mumbled, "What the fuck?"

But Udyr ignored her in favor of conversing much too loudly with Sejuani, Volibear, and Olaf. The Winter's Claw champions seemed quite distressed.

"She's not having sex with Ashe," proclaimed Udyr.

"Are you sure?" Sejuani demanded. "Maybe Volibear should double check."

"I am your future son-in-law, not your dog," Volibear said.

"No, if you were my dog, I'd tell you to sniff her butt," Sejuani growled.

"What the hell is going on!" Katarina shouted. Still hungover, she immediately regretted it. In an attempt to lessen her pain, she rubbed at her temples and shut her eyes against the light. All she wanted was bacon – preferably bacon made out of Sejuani's overgrown pig.

"What is Ashe planning with you, Noxian?" Sejuani asked. She moved to invade Katarina's personal space but, upon smelling the intense reek of alcohol and morning breath, she backed away a few steps.

"I don't know, leave me alone," Katarina mumbled. Where was Singed? She needed Singed. More accurately, she needed one of Singed's great hangover cures.

"If Ashe doesn't want you as her whore, she's plotting some Noxian alliance," said Sejuani. "Trust an Avarosan to fall back on treachery instead of strength!"

Slowly, Katarina wrapped her head around what the leader of the Winter's Claw was saying. "So my not sleeping with Ashe makes me more suspicious than if I were."

Sejuani nodded to Katarina.

Katarina nodded to herself. She knew what needed to happen next. She shrugged off her heavy coat and pulled out a pair of knives. Singed wasn't there with his miracle hangover cure, but stabbing people was also a wonderful way to start the day.

Wednesday – Rakelstake Dining Hall – Late Morning

Ashe opened the door to the dining hall and watched a knife fly by a few inches away from her nose. "CHILDREN!" the queen shouted. Her cape fluttered regally behind her.

The chaos of the hall froze.

One by one the champions backed away from each other. Everyone looked furious. Especially Katarina, who had been in the middle of assaulting Udyr with a butter knife.

"What is going on?" Ashe asked as she swept into the hall. Behind her was a rather guilty looking Tryndamere. When all the participants in the carnage started to speak at once, Ashe held up a hand, silencing them. "Sejuani, explain this."

Sejuani gathered herself up and edged away from Katarina's butter knife. "You've invited a Noxian spy here to extend your power by deceitful tricks."

Ashe rolled her eyes. "Sejuani, I swear to you by the ice that Katarina is here as a guest because she is a very good personal friend of mine and any ulterior motives that I have – they have nothing to do with you or the Freljord. Now who put you up to this?"

"What do you mean who put me up to this?" Sejuani asked.

Ashe did her best not to roll her eyes again. "There's no way you heard I wasn't sleeping with Katarina and spun that off into a giant Noxian conspiracy theory by yourself," she said. "Who were you talking to?"

Sejuani shrugged. "Lissandra told me."

"Then I need to go speak with Lissandra," said Ashe. "Tryndamere, can you please make sure all this mess gets cleaned up? Katarina, I expected better behavior from you." The queen turned and left.

Katarina gripped her butter knife and fumed.

Wedensday – Rakelstake Bar – Afternoon

"I'm just saying," said a very drunk Tryndamere, "That even before…" he sort of waved at Katarina, "She never paid any attention to me. Not that I need attention. I don't need attention."

"No," agreed Katarina. "Attention is overrated. I'm a Noxian badass. I don't need attention either." She grabbed one of her shots and tossed it to the back of her throat.

Tryndamere continued, "Ashe is a very busy woman. She's queen. There are a lot of problems she has to deal with. She deals with problems all the time. Lots of problems." He gestured emphatically and almost fell off his bar stool.

Katarina nodded. "But she handles everything so well. She's so good at being queen. I like her."

"I like her too," said Tryndamere. "I like her so much I'm not trying to kill you."

The two were quiet for a while as thoughts drifted past their drunken minds.

Then Katarina said, "People get people gifts for Snowdown."

"Yes they do," said Tryndamere.

"I know what I'm getting Ashe," said Katarina.

"I'm getting her not killing you," said Tryndamere. "What are you getting her?"

Katarina smiled. "I'm going to make one of her problems disappear."

Thursday – Rakelstake – Morning

Katarina stalked the halls without her coat. She was cold, but wearing her coat would impede access to her knives. And she was going to need her knives to murder Lissandra.

If there was one thing Katarina had learned in her twenty-something years, it was that murder solved absolutely everything.

But first, she had to track down the Ice Bitch. The halls of the palace were crowded with people rushing this way and that preparing for Volibear's wedding, which would be held before the end of the Snowdown holiday so that it could happen in the Freljord instead of at the Institute of War. None of the workers were people who would so much as give Katarina the time of day, so she ignored them.

The first champion she encountered on her quest was Anivia. The blue bird did a strange curtsey maneuver in the hallway. At a loss for what to do in return, Katarina bowed.

This was, apparently, not the right response. Anivia clucked and said, "Oh dear, oh dear, what are they teaching children in schools these days?"

"Excuse me, Anivia," Katarina tried, "Do you know where Lissandra is?"

The bird cocked her head to the side. "Whatever would you want to know that for?"

Realizing that she was holding a knife, Katarina shoved her hands behind her back. "I'm just curious."

"You know, curiosity killed the cat," Anivia warned.

"Well, maybe I like killing cats," Katarina replied. For the record, she had no actual interest in killing cats. Who would ever want to kill a cat? Cats were so cute. Everyone liked cats.

"I don't like cats that much, I admit," said Anivia. Well, Anivia didn't like cats. It was a bird thing. "Lissandra is on the northern terrace."

Thursday – Rakelstake, the Northern Terrace – Afternoon

By the time Katarina had figured out where the 'Northern Terrace' was, Lissandra was long gone. Volibear was there, however. He was sitting cross-legged on the balcony that overlooked the city of Rakelstake and his eyes were closed.

"Excuse me," said Katarina, "Have you seen Lissandra?"

The bear did not reply.

Katarina cleared her throat. "Excuse me," she repeated.

"I heard you the first time," rumbled Volibear.

"So have you seen Lissandra?" Katarina asked.

"My eyes are closed," replied Volibear. "I am busy meditating on my upcoming nuptials. What do you want?"

"I'm looking for Lissandra," said Katarina, rapidly becoming annoyed. The one thing that Volibear had going for him, as far she was concerned, was that he hadn't listened to Sejuani and attempted to sniff her crotch.

"Why do you seek Lissandra?" Volibear asked.

"Oh, I don't know," said Katarina. "Maybe so I can shove a knife in her face."

"In that case," said Volibear, "She's in her chambers taking a nap before dinner."

Thursday – Rakelstake, Lissandra's Rooms – Evening

Finding Lissandra's rooms was actually an easier task than finding the Northern Terrace. All Katarina had had to do was go in the direction no one else was headed.

Before long, she had arrived at a massive door made out of black ice. Where else could the princess of the Frostguard be but behind a giant block of black ice? Before she pushed the door open, Katarina checked for any other possible entrances. Front doors were so bad for assassinations. Finding no other ways into the room however, she tried the door.

To her surprise, the door was unlocked and swung open easily and silently. Conveniently, Lissandra was not facing the door and didn't see Katarina come in. Instead, the ice witch was sitting on her couch, intently staring at something on her laptop.

Stealthily, Katarina crept up behind Lissandra. She had her knife drawn and was about to plunge it into the back of Lissandra's neck when she caught sight of what was on the laptop's screen. And then she just couldn't help herself. "Holy shit!" Katarina exclaimed. "Darius doesn't even swing that way!"

"Right," agreed Lissandra. "I was under the impression he was right handed as well." Then she paused and turned and looked and realized there was an assassin in her room.

Friday – Rakelstake Jail – Morning

"You are lucky Lissandra didn't kill you," Ashe said. She stood with her arms crossed on one side of the bars to Katarina's cell. Katarina, of course, was sitting in manacles on the other side. With a black eye, various cuts and bruises, and a frost-bitten nose, the Noxian had definitely seen better days.

"Like she could," scoffed Katarina. "She's lucky I didn't kill her." She glared over at Lissandra, who was sitting in a cell across the hall from her. Lissandra looked just as beaten up as Katarina.

"Visiting you in jail was not on my agenda for Friday," Ashe said.

"Because spending time with me at all wasn't on your agenda," Katarina mumbled. "You're too busy being queen."

"What was that?" Ashe demanded.

"Nothing," said Katarina. "Just get me out already."

Ashe turned on her heel with a spin of her cape and stalked off. "Tryndamere, let them out and keep an eye on both of them. I need to oversee wedding decorations."

Friday – Rakelstake Cathedral – Afternoon

Katarina sat on the balcony of the grand Rakelstake Cathedral by herself. She was right by one of the wooden railings and she was digging her knife into it absentmindedly. It felt good to get her blade into something, even if it wasn't a body and she wasn't carving anything in particular.

Below her, Volibear and Bristle's wedding guests were filling into the room and finding their seats in the pews. While there were a few humans among them, most of the guests were bears and boars.

"Katarina, I'm sorry," came Ashe's voice from right next to Katarina's ear, close enough that Katarina felt the other woman's warm breath on her neck.

The Noxian jumped nearly a foot in the air from her seat. "How did you sneak up on me like that?" she demanded. Ashe was standing mere inches behind her.

The queen of the Freljord shrugged. "It's all about the cape."

Still recovering from the shot of terror-fueled adrenaline that Ashe had caused, Katarina warily asked, "Shouldn't you be down there doing something official?"

"No," said Ashe. "This is a Winter's Claw affair. They want me here, but not too close."

"So now that you're not wanted anywhere else you can come talk to me?" Katarina asked.

"Kat, that's not fair," said Ashe she wrapped an arm around her girlfriend's waist and pulled them together. "I didn't mean for the week to go like this. I'm not here very often and I have so many responsibilities…"

"You could have just not invited me," Katarina said. "I could have just gone home. Maybe I could have stopped that stupid video from going online." She shuddered. "I'm internet famous now."

Ashe nuzzled Katarina's neck. "And you deserve to be. You're very sexy. Much better looking than your sister, even just from the waist up. And I appreciate that you were trying to kill Lissandra for me."

"You do?" Katarina asked. "It didn't seem like that this morning."

"Did I ever tell you the moment I knew I liked you?" Ashe asked. "It was when I saw you trying to strangle Garen with your bare hands when your hands don't even fit all the way around his neck. You were just so adorable. I'd been wanting to do the same thing to him all that night."

"Really?"

"Mmhm," said Ashe. "And do you know the real reason I asked you to come to the Freljord?"

Katarina shook her head.

Ashe took her girlfriend's hand and pulled her away from the railing. "Come with me."

The queen of the Avarosans took them both out to a small outdoor balcony. A light sprinkling of snow was falling from a sky lit crimson and gold by the afternoon setting of Freljord sun. In the distance, the red light glinted off the endless sea of ice.

A smile found its way to Katarina's lips. "Ashe, this is beautiful."

"Just like you," said Ashe.

A chill wind gusted up and Katarina shivered. Ashe pulled off her cape and set it on the assassin's shoulders.

Katarina frowned. It really was all about the cape. She was suddenly warm, as if she was in Ashe's embrace. She glanced over at the queen, who was now standing out in the Freljord snow wearing boots, a miniskirt, and half a shirt. "Won't you get cold?" Katarina asked.

Ashe just smiled. "You're worth it."

Epilogue

Standing in the cluster of champions waiting to be summoned back to the League, Nunu looked down from Willump's shoulders at Ashe. "You can't date Katarina," he said.

Ashe sighed and looked up at the small boy. "And why is that, Nunu?"

"She's a ginger," said the boy. "She doesn't have a soul."

Ashe said to the yeti, "Willump, stop letting him spend so much time around Annie. She's not good for him."

Epilogue 2

Caitlyn looked at the report on her desk, then up at Jayce, then down at the report, then to Jayce again.

"Excellent work, if I may say so myself," said Jayce.

"Anivia and Jinx aren't even the same species," said Caitlyn. "How did you decide on Anivia anyway? She's practically the only non-humanoid female in the League."

"But Jinx has blue hair," said Jayce. "And Anivia is very blue."


A/N: *nods* And that's that.

Leave a review?

Not sure how long it'll take to write the next chapter. I'm running slightly low on inspiration after doing – what, this is the seventh chapter? – all this in a month (and all my LoL buddies are not online this week because holidays). And this chapter was the longest yet. My only thought right now is that Noxus would make a cool reality TV show. (yes, Dude of Doom, I do know that Mundo needs love badly :P )