I know, before you say it, my timeline is all messed up. Just don't think too hard about the details unless you want to step up and be my Beta.

Lingerings Chapter 7

It had been a night. Part wonderful, part awkward, and part querulous. Sam was unsure of what to think about SG-1's extra-curricular activities. Somehow tonight was different than in the past. She wasn't sure if it was the dourness of consolidated grief between them and the day's events, or possibly the giddiness of combined alcohol intake and the tiredness that comes from too many hours that felt like weeks. Either way she looked at it, things definitely hadn't been the same since…her almost wedding. Though they tried to go back to any sense of normalcy, things were still a bit subdued. She swallowed, feeling the emotions of shame and regret rise like bile up her throat. The two of them rarely fraternized off base and off duty anymore, without the presence of others, for safety's sake. No point in giving any one any excuse to look into anything, or maybe it was just that awkward between them now. In any case, Sam was definitely having some feelings that she thought were long buried. Feelings that were inappropriate and she thought were left in a certain exam room; things that were left outside the Colonel's house when she saw that woman standing behind him on his porch. She rubbed her aching temples. She sighed and started to get ready for bed.

She pulled back the covers and crawled in, entombing herself in her duvet. She stared at the ceiling and tried to tell herself her feelings didn't matter. That Daniel didn't know what he was talking about. Since day one, the air between her and the Colonel had been electric; it was always a tortured dance and she was too quick to cover it all up, for the sake of their jobs, for the sake of being able to continue as a team, for the sake of the world. He had agreed with her, of course, he wasn't a fool. Far from it, he was way smarter than he allowed himself to be perceived. Still, he had kissed her, albeit on the top of her head, and probably a few other times that she couldn't remember. Yet, that could mean a number of things besides romantic feelings. Of course he cared for her. They were teammates, they had spent years together! That didn't have to mean that he "love" loved her. He probably cared just as much for Daniel and Teal'c, after all they did have familial ties to one another. Daniel and Teal'c were like brothers to her.

Who was she kidding? Of course he had loved her…a long time ago, but of course not anymore. She had ruined it all. Besides, he could still have feelings for his ex-lover (or lovers?) for all she knew. Why hadn't they done anything about it all that time ago? Why had she been so stubborn? The possibilities had been endless then. The alternate universes were endless. So were all the realities where they had married. Still, every reality they'd been together as a couple, their mission to protect Earth had failed. Of course this only added to her confusion; there was evidence in favor of each side of the equation. This train of thought was of no use. It was just a distraction. She reached over and shut off the light. 'I need to focus on something that actually makes sense. Maybe I can sneak back into work tomorrow, direct orders or not,' she thought to herself.

"I love you, sir," she whispered into her pillow.

On the other side of town, Jack sat nursing a beer, and not especially paying attention to the episode of "The Simpsons" that was playing. He turned off the DVD player and TV, and stood up. He decided to take his beer up to the roof and make some use of his telescope. He was glad she didn't live closer. Tonight had been a disaster.

He wanted so badly for things to go back to the way things were…before he had tried dating other people, especially when she was about to marry that creep, but it always ended with the same feelings of yearning for the impossible. Who was he kidding? He knew it the moment he had looked in her eyes. He knew he couldn't have her. He was lonely and miserable. He sat down the beer and looked through the telescope. Fishing in Minnesota was as close to peace that he could get, even though he knew that safe haven had been invaded by the thought of her long, long ago.

She had saved his ass countless times. She worked incessantly to bring him back from Edora. She used her own body heat to keep him from freezing in Antarctica. Thousands and thousands of times, he depended on her, she never gave up on him, why would she work her ass off to save him all those times if she didn't …care? Maybe her feelings were like those of a daughter; 'There is no way that she could feel the same. I am almost old enough to be her father,' he thought. 'But then again, she had shown up in his back yard that day.' His stomach cringed with regret. Regardless, it had been her idea to bury everything in that exam room. No, she didn't want to discuss it, she was too focused on her career, and if he was smart he would have to leave it at that. He suddenly wished he hadn't quit smoking, but then realized he didn't need another weakness. He already had her.

He sighed, then picked up his beer and chugged the rest. His phone began to vibrate in his pocket. He pulled it out and opened it without even looking.

"Jack! It's Daniel."

"Oh, for cryin' out loud, do you know what time it is, Daniel? It's two o'clock in the morning! Nothing good happens after two! You know that."

"Jack, we both know you weren't in bed, now just listen to me for a minute."

He let out a heavy sigh, "Yeah, alright. What's up?"

"You know how sometimes when you dream, the answers to problems surface?"
"Uh, sure."

"Well, I think there may be survivors."

"What?! Daniel, you saw…"

"Yes, I know, but I had a dream about Fasithe. He was alive. I think he's been captured by Apophis. And I think they took the M.A.L.P."

"Are you sure, Daniel? Sometimes dreams are just dreams."

"Jack, I'm almost positive. Don't ask me how I know this, I just do."

"Alright, call Carter, and we'll meet on base in the morning."

"I already did. We're both already here. So's Teal'c."

"That was fast. Alright. I'll be there." He snapped the phone shut and shoved it back in his pocket and took the stairs two at a time.