Disclaimer: Nope. I still own nothing. Marc and Wilhelmina Slater belong to "Ugly Betty". Yes, Anthea T., you got that right, Tamara's mother is the woman herself!


A/N: Dark Rumple makes a triumphant return as he pays a visit to Regina Mills, but his failure to remember another evil queen may land Neal in an awful lot of trouble. In the meantime, Emma gets ready to go down the aisle and thinks that maybe going back to her days as a thief might bring her some joy as she decides to steal something from her ex-boyfriend.


Chapter 7: Queens, mirrors and a wedding cake

Regina Mills let out a sigh as she headed for another day of work.

It would still take time for her to get used to her new job. It had been so much more fun to be the mayor in that quaint little city, but after the infamous Emma Swan broke the curse, there would be very little point bossing the town idiots around.

To make matters worse, after Storybrooke had pretty much become the newest amusement park in Maine, with outsiders coming in and out all the time and forcing everyone to keep a low profile, there were not many options left for those trying to change careers.

She shrugged, and an evil smile curled her lips. As a matter of fact, getting into the wedding-planning business had been quite a smart idea. She was still able to destroy people's lives, after all.

And their finances, obviously. Not to mention it was the perfect front for her other business, the one she truly loved with all her heart.

Her smile turned into a grin, and then into a giggle, and then into laughter.

She opened the door to her office, and when she saw Rumplestiltskin sitting on her President chair, with his legs up her desk, her laughter turned into a giggle, then into a smile, and then into a grimace.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, sending him a very obvious "I-hate-you" glare.

"My dearest Regina," he said, returning the glare with the same courtesy. "I think you know the answer to that question."

He twisted a business card in his fingers, and her eyes grew wide.

"How did you find that?" she hissed.

"Let's say I made sure to get here earlier than you, to inspect this little office of yours," he replied, wiggling his hands around. "And you know what they say…" he said, before jumping from her chair to move towards the woman. "The early bird catches the worm," he whispered in her ear, before letting out his trademark snicker.

"Think again, you old fool," she said, with a sneer on her lips.

She then snapped her fingers, and the card in Rumplestiltskin's hand dissolved into a purple cloud of magic.

Rumplestiltskin hopped up and down, clapping his hands excitedly.

"Oooh!" he exclaimed, with a maniac look on his face. "I love your phony little tricks!"

He snapped his fingers, and the card was back in his hand.

"Do it again!" he teased, waving the card in front of the woman's eyes.

This time, however, Regina Mills set the little piece of paper in flames while it was still pressed between Rumplestiltskin's fingers.

"Oh, my, feeling antsy today, are we?" he said, and his eyes were still ablaze as he looked at Regina.

"You are pathetic," she replied, wishing the venom in her words would cut through his skin and finish the job Hook had started.

"Am I, really?" he asked, baring his teeth as he got closer to the woman. "Perhaps I am. But even so," his eyes were now two orbs of fire as he hissed, "even if I only have half of a functioning evil mind, you are no match for me."

He raised a mirror to her eyes, and much to her dismay, she saw that the words in the business card were now tattooed to her forehead.

"Regina Mills, divorce attorney," he read the words aloud, getting rid of the mirror and wondering how long it would take for a struggling Regina Mills to run out of air if he strangled her right now. "What's the name of your company, again? 'Happy endings'?"

The woman before him was far too busy trying to get rid of the letters glowing on her forehead to even bother answering.

"Your wedding-planning biz is a front, after all! You trap those deluded young couples into going on with their wrong choices, oh yes, because you can detect when they are not meant for each other, can't you?" he hissed, walking around the woman in circles. "Then you dazzle them with your magnificent cakes and table sets, rip them off, knowing they will be too worried about their debt to even consider they may be marrying the wrong person, and then, when money is no longer the matter, and they finally see what a bad, bad decision they have taken… Oh!" he stopped, pretending to clutch his own heart as his eyes grew wide. "Guess who shows up to help! Beloved Regina Mills, divorce attorney extraordinaire, aiming for their pockets and souls once again!"

He smiled his most wicked smile, and leaned against her desk before pointing his index finger at her as if it was a smoking gun.

"Busted!" he whispered, hopping up and down again.

"What do you want?" Regina muttered, and the look in her eyes was positively murderous.

"Are you trying to strike a deal, deary?"

"What do you want?"

"Who is celebrating the wedding?"

"Never," she replied, taking one step closer to him and hoping she would be able to scorch that stupid evil man with the burning hate in her eyes. "I won't let you ruin one of my weddings."

"Really?" he asked, looking at his own nails. "Would you rather have me ruin your career, instead?"

Regina looked as if smoke would billow out of her nostrils at any given moment.

"Her name is Lacey," she hissed, reaching out for a piece of paper and almost tearing it apart as she wrote down the woman's phone number. "Here."

"What are you giving me that for?" Rumplestiltskin asked, looking at the piece of paper the woman was holding. "You make the call, and you cancel it, right now."

After giving the man in front of her another poisonous glare, Regina Mills picked up the phone and dialed the number.

"Don't bother coming this morning," she hissed to whoever had picked up the phone. "The wedding is cancelled."

"Good girl!" he exclaimed, as he waved a hand and the letters on Regina's forehead disappeared.

He moved to the door, but stopped after a few steps to talk to the woman again.

"One more thing, deary," he slowly turned his head to look at Regina Mills. "If I ever learn you offered to plan a wedding to anyone in my family ever again, there will be consequences."

He bowed, although his eyes never left hers, and said his goodbyes.

"Now if you will excuse me, I have a wedding to stop."

Much to his surprise, Regina giggled behind him.

"You're so worried about me..." she said, barely making an effort to hide the excitement in her voice. "When actually, your son is getting married to Tamara Slater."

He frowned, but didn't turn to look at her.

"And your point is?" he asked, blinking away his concern that his own mind was letting him down again.

"Slater?" she repeated, and her voice was thoroughly amused as she spoke. "As in, Wilhelmina Slater's daughter?"

Given the emphasis Regina added to that name, Rumplestiltskin was pretty sure whoever that woman was, she was not someone he could afford to forget at the moment.

"Oh my God," she exclaimed, finally reaching him and walking around him to look at his face. "You don't remember who Wilhelmina Slater is, do you?"

The smile on Regina's face verged on the obscene.

"You know those 'Wizard Worldwide' conferences we used to attend?" she continued, basking on his defeated silence. "You should have paid attention to some of the talks."

Now, the woman might be just cracking a joke. 'Wizard Worldwide'? That certainly didn't sound like the type of event any of them would attend. But then, she might be serious as well. One way or another, the undeniable truth was that Regina had gotten the upper hand in those last few minutes, and now Rumplestiltskin found himself in a very delicate position.

"You really lost your edge, didn't you?" she whispered in his ear, and he had to leave the room before his situation got even worse.

Normally, he would never walk out on a duel against Regina Mills.

The problem was, now he realized she was a mere pawn in the greater scheme of things, and he had no time to waste. He had to find a way to remember who Wilhelmina Slater was, and how to stop her, for that matter.

And he had to do so before it was too late.


"Happiness hit her like a train on a track… Coming towards her, stuck still no turning back"

Emma Swan took a long, deep breath as she looked at the mirror. Sitting by her side, Snow carefully arranged her daughter's hair in a very intricate braid, casting a worried look towards Emma every now and then.

"She hid around corners and she hid under beds, she killed it with kisses and from it she fled… With every bubble she sank with a drink, and washed it away down the kitchen sink"

"You're making a mistake," Snow finally said, only to have Emma pull her head away from her hands. She was breaking their deal, after all: her daughter had only agreed to let her help get prepared for her wedding under the condition neither of them talked.

There was nothing left to be said.

"The dog days are over, the dog days are done…" Emma muttered, following the song that was quietly playing from her IPod.

She kept staring at the mirror, as if expecting someone else, other than her, to appear before her eyes.

"The horses are coming… so you'd better run."

A few houses away from her, Neal Cassidy also stared into a mirror, and also hoped to see someone else other than himself.

He adjusted the tie around his neck, and took out the wedding rings he was carrying on his pocket, just to look at the names engraved on them.

'Neal Cassidy'

'Tamara Slater'

He put the rings back into his pocket, as his other hand gently touched the mirror.

"Run fast for your mother, run fast for your father, run for your children, for your sisters and brothers…"

Emma reached out to touch the mirror in front of her, remembering a movie she had once seen. She half expected the solid surface to melt under her fingers, and take her into another dimension, but who was she fooling?

A mirror was just a mirror. There was nothing, and no one, on the other side.

"Leave all your love and your longing behind, you can't carry it with you if you want to survive."

Neal raised his eyes to the mirror, as his hand slowly closed into a fist.

He studied his reflection for a second, wondering exactly when he had grown that old. How come time had gone by that fast? Eleven years… and now the rest of his life, without her.

He was officially leaving Emma Swan forever.

"I'm getting married today," he whispered.

"And I never wanted anything from you, except for everything you had… and what was left after that too."

She was officially leaving Neal Cassidy forever.

"I'm getting married today," she whispered, and Snow felt a pang in her heart as she saw how unhappy Emma was as she said those words. "And not to you."

Emma closed her eyes for a moment, and smiled.

"Who would have thought..."

She then silenced the IPod and stood up.

"So," she asked, spreading her arms so that her mother could see her in her white suit glory and stylish stilettos. "How do I look?"

Snow White, by that time, was already melting away in tears and sobs.

"W-Wonderful," she managed to stutter.

Emma reached out to rub her shoulder, and quickly left the room before she was dragged into another of her many downward spirals of unhappiness.

"Hey kid!" she exclaimed, as soon as she saw Henry leave his own room and walk towards her. "Look at you! You're wearing a suit!"

"Emma…" David whispered, and his jaw dropped when he saw his daughter. "Look at you!"

"Oh please, don't go crying on me as well," she said, rolling her eyes when she realized her father's eyes were glistening with tears. "I'm not even wearing a dress."

"It doesn't matter," he answered, clearing his throat. "You are still my daughter."

"Wow," she said, trying to ignore the prickle at the corner of her eyes at her father's words. "Thanks for reminding me."

He hugged her, and his eyes met Snow's, who was standing by the door of her daughter's room.

"You know," he heard Emma say. "If I don't leave this house right now, my make-up is going to be a mess."

"Where are you going?" Henry asked.

"Hmm…" Emma replied, pulling away from the hug, and sniffing. "I just realized I don't have a wedding cake, so…" she wiped away a tear and shrugged. "I'll just get myself one."


August hurried into the building, still busy wearing his jacket.

He couldn't actually believe Baelfire was getting married in a couple of hours.

"You are unbelievable," he complained, as he tried to catch up with the other man. "Just so you know, I had booked the ultimate bachelor party, I was even flying strippers from Vegas! Not to mention that you would have a very relaxing day at the spa before the wedding ceremony, but too bad I couldn't reschedule it, given the fact you forgot to tell me you were getting married today!" he barked. "What were you thinking?"

"I don't know, August," Neal replied, feeling exceptionally calm despite the dire circumstances. "I don't really know."

"Did you know Franz Ferdinand was supposed to play in your reception? Yeah, I had arranged that too."

"You hired Franz Ferdinand?" Neal said, wrinkling his forehead. "No wonder I'm going bankrupt..."

"Just so you know, they wouldn't charge," August replied. "They owed me a favor, after I subbed for their drummer in a concert in Phuket after the man got sick eating some bad shrimps."

"Oh," Neal muttered, as he looked around the hall where he would get married in a couple of hours. He found it extremely odd that the place hadn't got a bit of decoration in itself. "Regina Mills is nowhere to be found," he whispered, and his eyes fell on one of the benches were soon enough their guests would be sitting.

"Oh, really?" August asked, trying to fake a reasonable amount of surprise. Unless something else had happened to the wedding-planner, her absence could only mean that Rumplestiltskin had succeeded in doing whatever it was he had planned to do.

"Yes," Neal responded, with his hands in his pockets. "Something must have happened."

His voice however, showed no signs of concern.

"Baelfire, are you okay?" August asked, raising a suspicious eyebrow at his friend's tranquility. "Are you on prescribed meds or something?"

"Nope," Neal shrugged. "I am just… fine."

August took another look at the man by his side, and quickly realized that was exactly the same kind of resignation to be expected of someone who had just been given a life sentence.

"Are you sure about this?" he asked.

"About what?" was his friend's meek response.

"About getting married."

"Oh please, not you. You know Tamara, you know how much we get along."

"Yes, you get along alright…"

"She's a wonderful woman, and I really, really like her."

August shook his head, uncertain as to whether or not he should point out what was wrong in his friend's sentence.

"Baelfire, do you like me?" he asked, at last.

"Of course I do."

"Then why don't you marry me instead?"

Neal stopped walking, and cast an outraged look towards August before speaking.

"What?"

"You like me right?" August shrugged.

"You're a man!" Neal exclaimed.

Ok, so maybe using himself as an example had not been the brightest idea. No wonder he hadn't managed to get his message across.

"That is not my point!" August blurted out, before he blushed even more. "You don't marry a person you like. You go to the movies with someone you like, you go out for drinks, you talk over the phone, you don't get yourself married to someone you like! You marry the person you love!"

He watched as the other man seemed to chew on his tongue, with a very menacing look in his eyes.

"And I'm sorry to tell you this, my friend, but you don't love Tamara."

Neal blinked several times and swallowed, one of his trademark reactions when something was not well.

"You know what," he said, trying to regain his composure. "I'm going out for a walk."

"You're just being stubborn," August said, as the other man walked away. "And if your pride means that much to you… Then you don't deserve her," he finished, realizing that Neal had slowed down his pace for a brief moment at his final words, only to pick up his step a second later and hurry out of the hall.

August rolled his eyes. He had promised not to sabotage his friend's wedding, and now look at the kind of advice he was giving!

He took his cell phone out of his pocket, and called Charming.

"So?" he asked, when Emma's father answered the call.

"She's left to get herself a wedding cake."

"You mean she's out?" he asked.

On the other side of the line, David snorted.

"Obviously!"

"Well, Baelfire has just gone out as well."

"Do you think they might run into each other?"

"That would be rather interesting, don't you think?"

"It would… Oh, hold on, I have another incoming call, it's Rumplestiltskin."

August waited for an update as Emma's father got another report.

"Ok," said David, as he got back on line. "Rumplestiltskin tells me Regina Mills is out of the picture."

"I thought she was."

"But he is worried about a certain Wilhelmina Slater."

August's blood froze when that name registered in his brain.

"He asks you to keep an eye on Baelfire until he figures out what to do about her."

"Alright," August whispered, and as he turned around, he saw a black limo pull out in front of the building where the wedding would take place. "Oh, crap."

"What was that?"

"You'd better let Rumplestiltskin know he needs to figure something out as soon as possible," he muttered, as the door to the limo opened and a pair of very long and slender legs made their way out of the vehicle, covered by a long turquoise satin dress. "Wilhelmina Slater has just arrived."

He ended the call, and his mouth went dry when the woman slowly made her way towards him, her posh hat hiding her nearly transparent eyes until the very last moment.

"August W. Booth," she whispered, sending him a feral grin as she outstretched her arm for a handshake.

"Wilhelmina Slater," August muttered, slightly taken aback by the fact the woman remembered his full name. As he felt her fingers wrap around his rather forcefully, shivers went up and down his spine, and the fact she had just raised her head to reveal her diabolical blue eyes from under the hat made him feel a very uncomfortable tingle in his fingertips.

"Long time no see," she whispered, as her eyes bore into his.

"Indeed," he mumbled, feeling a sudden urge to leave before the woman in front of him claimed his soul.

"Though I have to say I truly enjoyed your little performance with Kapranos' boys in Phuket, " she said, finally letting go of his hand and smiling. "You did a remarkable job subbing for Paul Thomson in the drums."

"You were there?" he asked, feeling his jaw had dropped a little.

"I'm always there," she replied, raising an eyebrow.

"I love your fragrance…" August muttered, feeling part of himself had already succumbed to some of the woman's evil spells.

"Well, then take your time to enjoy it, because this one hasn't been released into the market," the woman responded, and the sneer in her lips confirmed she was up to no good, as usual. "Now where is my future son-in-law?"

August couldn't help but notice her sneer had grown even more unholy as her eyes darted around the hall.

"I'm looking for him, as well," he replied.

"One of us should check the local convenience store," a man with short brown hair and a very stylish suit showed up from behind Wilhelmina, and his eyes were full of disdain. "I am quite sure he would find the time for some sort of petty crime."

He then turned to look at the woman, and the two of them burst into laughter.

"Oh, Marc, how evil!" she said, gently hitting him in the arm. "I didn't know you could read my mind!"

Wilhelmina then shifted her glance back to August, and every time she raised an eyebrow, his heart would skip a beat.

"Can you tell me why there are no flowers, anywhere I look?" she asked.

August cleared his throat before speaking, now having to bear the weight of two loads of derision as both the woman and her assistant stared at him.

"Apparently, there was a little problem with the wedding planner…" he said.

"Really?" Wilhelmina asked, in a whisper.

"Yes. She's nowhere to be found."

"Why am I not surprised?" she said, tilting her head as she let out a heartless sigh.

"Thank god we got here before Lisa Vanderpump," her frenzied assistant whispered. "Or you would become the latest joke in Beverly Hills."

"Marc, my daughter is getting married to a nobody," she said, and her eyes were cold as each poisonous word left her lips. "I'll become a joke anyway."

"Oh," the man clutched at his chest, and a pained look spread across his face. "So true!"

In the meantime, August felt as relevant to that conversation as a fly in a bowl of soup.

"Well… I have no choice but to take this matter into my own hands," she said at last, pulling out her cell phone and handing it to her assistant. "Marc, call Souza. Tell her I need her team to fly in ASAP."

"Is that… another wedding planner?" August muttered, and the two other individuals in the hall finally remembered he still existed.

"Oh, August," she purred, lifting her velvety fingers to his face. "Do you really think I would trust your dear friend Neal Cassidy to come up with anything other than failure?"

Her eyes narrowed dangerously, and the message was crystal clear.

"Goodbye, August."

He watched as the woman and her assistant walked away from him, after sending a final scolding glare in his direction.


Something fishy was going on.

As Neal stood outside Regina Mills' deserted office, he wondered what on earth awaited him. He knew, somehow, that his father had something to do with it.

Whatever it was, the fact remained that his wedding-planner was gone, and that meant no decoration, no flowers, no special ops, no cake, no nothing. He frowned when he remembered that obscenely expensive five-tier cake. How likely was he to get a refund, if it had indeed been his father to take the matter into his own hands?

Neal let out a mirthless laughter. He had better chances of being struck by lightning on that beautiful sunny day than of ever seeing his money again.

"Well…" he muttered. "If I'm not getting a refund, then I'm getting a cake."

He fumbled with the lock, looking over his shoulder and feeling that long-forgotten rush of adrenaline as he broke into the office, and made his way into the lounge, where a series of doors indicated the weddings Mills had been planning.

He quickly located the door that led to his. He shouldn't have been surprised when he opened it, only to find that there was nothing, absolutely nothing inside the room.

And yet, he was, and more than merely surprised. He was furious!

Neal quickly closed the door behind him, and his eyes fell upon another chamber, in which a golden plate displayed the names 'Aurora & Mulan'.

"Tough luck," he snarled, letting all his frustration take over his mind. So what if he was about to meddle into, and possibly ruin, other people's celebration? He couldn't possibly care less.

He wanted a wedding cake, and he would get one!

Again, he fumbled with the lock, feeling his mind was taking him back to his days as an outlaw, when he would break into stores, then run to his bug and kiss Emma Swan until she was out of breath, and until both of them managed to get all that adrenaline off their systems.

Those memories only made him angrier, and he let it all out as he slammed the door open and cursed under his breath. His eyes darted around the chamber like a madman, and he would be royally pissed if the people he was about to rob had decided to save a few bucks and got themselves anything less than a five-tier wedding cake with ribbons and flowers!

"Ha!" he exclaimed, and one would be alarmed with how much his deranged expression made him look an awful lot like Jack Torrance in the peak of his insanity.

There it was, a beautiful crimson cake with pearls and red roses in a wheeled table across from the door. Although it only had four tiers, and he had paid for five, that would have to do. He quickly wheeled the table out of the chamber and into his own vacant room, with a victorious smile on his face.

As he closed the door behind him, he realized with a frown he hadn't brought his cell phone with him, and because of that, he was unable to call August to help him wheel the damn cake to the hall where his wedding would take place.

He shrugged. It was not as if he would have to walk more than half a block to get to the man, anyway.

Looking from side to side before stepping out of Regina's office main door, he smoothed his jacket and walked away, barely noticing the pick-up truck that had just pulled over.

In the meantime, Emma Swan had picked up her phone as she turned off the engine and looked to the opposite side of the road in which Neal Cassidy now walked.

She got off her father's vehicle and stood before the entrance to Regina Mills' office, wondering how on earth the former mayor had become a wedding-planner, to begin with.

She shrugged. It was not as if she actually cared. All she really wanted was a wedding cake, and if there was a place to find one… well, that had to be it.

Emma fumbled with the lock, looking over her shoulder and feeling that long-forgotten rush of adrenaline as she broke into the office… except that the lock gave away so easily that it was barely fun.

She made her way into the lounge, and it didn't take long for her eyes to fall upon a silver plate with the names 'Neal Cassidy & Tamara Slater' engraved on it.

"Pfff…" she remarked with disdain, as she turned the doorknob slowly and found out the door was not even locked. "Hmm… How careless of you, honey."

She frowned when she realized the room was strangely empty, except for a four-tier cake displayed in all its grandeur in the middle of a wheeled table.

Then, she burst into laughter.

"Funny thing," she muttered, wiping away happy tears after laughter subsided. "The only thing I find is the only thing I need."

She stopped, before wheeling out the cake, and looked at it with envy.

"Four tiers of crimson cake with pearls and roses…" she said. "Neal Cassidy, you really are an idiot, and I hate you."

As the words left her lips, she felt her little mischief was more than justified. 'One gets what one deserves,' she thought, as she wheeled the cake out of the office with a very pleased grin on her face.

"Emma?"

The male voice behind her made her jump.

"August?" she shrieked. "What are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same thing!"

The two of them kept staring at each other for a long minute.

"I didn't know Regina Mills was planning your wedding as well," he said, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh, well," Emma felt her ears were turning red. "She isn't. She just… offered a cake."

The man didn't look convinced at all.

"To Henry," she added. "I just came to pick it up."

"She offered Henry a wedding cake?" August asked, crossing his arms.

"Oh, come on, August!" she whimpered, looking around and fearing someone else would catch her red-handed. "I just needed a cake, alright? Just be nice and pretend you didn't see me."

"Emma, you stole a wedding cake?"

"Yes, I did!" she replied, throwing him a very austere look. "So what?"

"Emma…"

The woman, however, had already wheeled the cake to the back of the pickup truck and was now trying to figure out a way to get the cake in.

"You're not going to make it without help," he whispered, shaking his head.

"Says who?"

August's shoulders drooped. If there was a person who managed to be even more stubborn than Baelfire, it was Emma Swan.

"Here," he said, as he jumped into the truck and pulled up the table, with Emma's help.

Standing on the street, the woman now looked terribly ashamed of herself.

"Thanks," she whispered.

August jumped out of the truck, and couldn't help but feel sorry for Emma. Then he felt sorry for Baelfire, who was about to get married to a woman he didn't love, while the woman he did love was stealing someone else's wedding cake with a very sad look on her face.

"Well…" she said at last, breaking the silence. "I guess I should get going."

She hurried to the driver's seat and started the engine.

"Emma, I think you should know something…" August said, turning his head to look at Emma.

'Baelfire loves you. Stop whatever it is you're doing, come with me, and let's end this insanity.'

Inside his mind, the sentence was perfectly built and ready to go. Emma Swan, however, had already sped away, leaving August and his good intentions behind.