The next day Jake had to go run errands again. I was starting to get a bit suspicious about what he was really doing, but didn't bring it up. As I was sitting on the couch reading a book, there was a knock on my door.
Who could that be? I thought to myself.
I walked towards the door and opened it up.
"Hey" I said slightly confused. What were Kim and Emily doing here?
"Hey Bella. Thought you'd like some company." Emily said happily. I nodded with a smile and welcomed them in.
"So what's going on?" I asked the two who seemed oddly suspicious.
"Well we were thinking about having a bonfire." Kim said, gauging my reaction.
"Sure" I said. I wasn't sure what the big deal was...
"Great. All the guys can come around 7. That way we can grocery shop and get everything ready before they all come."
"Wait. All the guys are coming here?" I asked nervously. That meant Sam.
"Well...we don't have to have it here. We can go back to my place if you guys want." Emily said.
I shook my head. "No I didn't mean it like that. I meant all the guys are coming "
Emily and Kim nodded their heads and looked at each other for a quick second.
"Yea why wouldn't they?" Kim asked trying to seem nonchalant.
I just shook my head. "Never mind" I murmured and let them continue planning.
Sitting there, I didn't know what to do. Should I tell them what happened with Sam? I shook my head. Just forget it; act like nothing happened.
The problem with ignoring it was how much it hurt. Every time I thought of him, or someone brought him up, there would be this aching pain in my heart.
I just need to get over him I kept telling myself. But I knew deep down inside it was a lot more than that. Did I truly like him? I've only known him from a few days; yet, I seemed to know a lot about him already. I've spent so much time about him, learning things about him.
"Bella?" Kim questioned with a nervous look on her face.
"Yea?" I asked looking at them.
"Are you okay?" Emily asked, looking concerned.
"Yea, why?"
They both looked at each other and then Kim shook her head. "Never mind."
This time I protested. "No, what were you guys going to say?"
Emily sighed. "You just kind of looked like you were in pain. Your face was all skewed up."
My head fell a bit. Was it really that bad when I was thinking about Sam?
Sam. My heart ached a bit more as I said his name and let my mind flash back to what happened
Shaking away the heartache, I went back to planning the bonfire with Kim and Emily.
By the time Jake got back, we were just about ready to head to the grocery store.
"Hey, what's going on?" Jake asked.
"Hey" I said kissing his cheek. "The girls and I are going to go to the grocery store to pick up some stuff for the bonfire tonight."
Jake looked at the girls with a look and they just stood there fidgeting. "Alright, be safe." Jake said kissing my forehead.
"Will do" I smiled and shut the door behind me. What was with that look? I thought to myself as Emily drove us to the store.
When we got there, Kim and Emily grabbed a shopping cart. "Kim, Ems got one." I said.
She looked at me and chuckled a bit. "Oh Bella, you haven't seen how much all these guys eat."
I looked at her, slightly skeptical. "That much?"
She nodded with a truth telling smile. "That much."
By the time we were done, we had the two carts full to the top. I was quite amazed on how much they decided to get, but I didn't argue. We walked out and paid quickly, racing home to make everything.
As we unloaded the car, Jake came hustling out to help.
"Thanks" I said with a smile, kissing him on the cheek. I lingered in his presence for a little, just enjoying being with him. It was rough for a while, but it worked out which I was thankful for. He looked down at me, letting out a chuckle and then kissed my nose.
Scrunching it up a bit, he let out another laugh and we carried in the grocery bags together.
"I need to shower." I said after everything was brought in.
Jake nodded to the girls as he pointed to me. "She smells."
I let out a laugh and rolled my eyes. "Shut it Jake"
He gave me a smile and Kim and Emily dismissed me.
By the time I got out of the shower, something smelled good. Deciding they could handle it till I got all ready, I walked to my room, picking out some clothes. I decided to go casual; just a pair of dark jeans and a red off the shoulder top. I put on a bit of makeup and walked down the steps to go help out.
Most of the guys were here already, all sitting and talking in the living room.
"Hey guys!" I shouted behind my shoulder as I walked into the kitchen. I got a round of loud 'Hey Bella's!' and then my heart started to ache a bit.
Weird I thought to myself.
"Hey, get out of the kitchen." I said lightly to the girls. They both turned a bit and looked a time.
"Oh hey Bella" they said and went back to cooking.
"Come on, get out." I said walking over to them.
"But..."
"I can handle it." I told them. Just as they were about argue, I rolled my eyes. "Get out of my kitchen and go see your boyfriends"
They seemed to debate about it for a second and I huffed. "Stop denying you want to go see them."
"Alright alright" Kim said giving up. Emily shrugged with her and they thanked me.
I was left alone cooking for a while, not minding the silence in the kitchen. It felt good; knowing people were around, but having the peace to yourself.
As I cooked, I thought about the new song I was working on in my book for Ben. I kept thinking of a tune and some words to go along with it in my head. I hummed for a while, trying to find the right melody.
(When I Look at You by Miley Cyrus)
"Everybody needs inspiration
Everybody needs a song
A beautiful melody when the night's so long
'Cause there is no guarantee that this life is easy" I sang in my head. Finally I found the perfect tune. Smiling a bit, I began singing softly to myself; I made sure it fit to the tune in my head.
"Yeah, when my world is falling apart
When there's no light to break up the dark
That's when I, I, I look at you" I put some more noodles into the pot and continued to sing to myself as I stirred.
"When the waves are flooding the shore
And I can't find my way home anymore
That's when I, I, I look at you
When I look at you, I see forgiveness, I see the truth
You love me for who I am like the stars hold the moon
Right there where they belong
And I know I'm not alone"
Suddenly, I felt like I was being watched, quickly I turned around and found everyone staring, including Sam.
"I didn't know you could sing." Seth said.
I blushed a bit and turned away from them.
"Jake, why didn't you tell us she could sing?" Embry asked.
Jake just stared at me. "I didn't know she could" was all he said.
Blushing harder, I turned back to the food. I could feel Jake and Sam's stares hard on my back. Everyone continued to stand there for a while till I couldn't take it any longer.
"Don't you guys have stuff to go do? Like go sit and socialize? Or...something?" I asked, semi pleading.
Everyone rolled their eyes and got the point. I turned back to work for a while, now putting everything in dishes to serve.
"Let me help." Sam said, pushing off the doorway to come help me lift the pot of hot water with noodles in it.
"Thanks" I murmured while trying to calm by racing heart.
His presence was killing me. He was so close, yet not at the same time. He lifted the pot with ease and I watched him for a second; his muscles flexing with his body turned towards me. Sam tilted the pot in the sink slowly, letting all the noodles fall into the strainer as his gaze fell upon me. Feeling it, I turned back to cutting the fruit, trying to focus on anything except him.
Saved by the phone. I thought to myself before Sam could say anything to me.
I swiftly walked over and picked it up.
"Hello?" I asked.
"Belley" Ben said tiredly.
"Hey Bud. You sound tired? Have a good day?" I hoped.
"Yea, Angie and I went to the park, it was fun." I smiled a bit and leaned against the wall.
"Did you guys take Buster with you?" Buster was Angela's dog. He was a wheaten terrier, so he had quite the high level of energy.
Ben giggled. "Yea, he was funny. He tried to run up the slide Belley"
I let out a laugh. "He did? Oh man, he is too funny" I agreed. I could hear Angela in the background telling him to hurry up and get to bed.
"Belley? Can you sing me a song before I go to bed?"
I bit my lip and looked up at Sam, and then quickly back down to my feet. Letting out a sigh, I nodded. "Sure, what did you want to hear?" I asked.
"I don't know" he yawned, waiting for me to think of something.
"Alright" I sighed again, trying to think of something.
(Crazier by Taylor Swift)
"I've never gone with the wind
Just let it flow
Let it take me where it wants to go
Till you open the door
There's so much more
I've never seen it before
I was trying to fly
But I couldn't find wings
Then you came along
And you changed everything
You lift my feet off the ground
Spin me around
You make me crazier, crazier
Feels like I'm falling and I
I'm lost in your eyes
You make me crazier,
Crazier, crazier
Watched from a distance as you
Made life your own
Every sky was your own kind of blue
And I wanted to know
How that would feel
And you made it so real. You showed me something that I couldn't see
Opened my eyes and you made me believe
You lift my feet off the ground
Spin me around
You make me crazier, crazier
Feels like I'm falling and I
I'm lost in your eyes
You make me crazier,
Crazier, crazier, oh
Baby, you showed me what living is for
I don't want to hide anymore
You lift my feet off the ground
You spin me around
You make me crazier, crazier
Feels like I'm falling and I
I'm lost in your eyes
You make me crazier,
Crazier, crazier
Crazier, crazier" I said whispering the end of the song. I could hear Ben's slow breathing and knew he was sleeping.
"Goodnight Bella" Angela whispered.
"Goodnight Ang, thanks for anything" I said and then we hung up.
The house was silent after I hung up the phone and I didn't know what to do. Sam was staring at me, I could feel it, and I knew the guys were probably still trying to listen. My heart was pounding furiously. I didn't usually sing in front of people; it was only Ben.
"You guys can stop listening now. I'm done," I said loudly. Singing out loud twice in one day, Nice job Bella.. I thought to myself
Taking a deep breath, I pushed myself off the wall. I gave Sam a smile, still not directly looking into his eyes.
"Foods ready" I called.
Everyone came racing in as I stood in the doorway. Jake was one of the last to come, and he came up giving me a kiss on my head. It seemed to calm my nerves a bit...but that was about it.
We all ate and talked, and I was thankful that it wasn't awkward and nobody brought up my singing. When it was time to clean up, Jake came up, carrying a bunch of plates ready to be put to work. Shaking my head I put my hand on his pectoral muscles and leaned up to give him a kiss on the cheek. A noise made me stop for a second and then look around, especially when Jake tensed a bit. I knew I heard something, but I couldn't place it.
"I got it, thanks," I said, flashing him a smile.
"You sure? Its almost like tradition you know..." he said.
I laughed and began filling up the sink with soap and water. "Positive. Go help the others with the fire."
Jake nodded. "Alright. Seth, go help Bells"
I rolled my eyes at Jakes commands but didn't fight with him. Seth just walked up and began helping me. As Jake and a bunch of the other guys (including Sam, thank heavens) left the room, I murmured to Seth.
"You don't have to help you know. I can get this."
Seth shook his head and smiled at me. "Its fine, I don't mind."
I nodded and washed as he dried. We talked for a bit, making random conversation.
"You really do have a good singing voice you know..." Seth said, as we were finishing up.
I blushed and turned away. "I'm serious. And those songs were amazing. Who were they by?"
I shook my head and took a deep breath. "No one really. I just kind of make them up..."
"You make them up?" Seth said incredulous. His reaction caused me to blush harder. "Well...yes, but I mean its easier than it sounds...I usually write them down at first. Plus I have a piano to sit down at to create a melody, but I guess humming works too." I said.
"Wow, that's...amazing." he said. Blushing even harder, I smiled a bit. "Thanks."
Putting the last dish away, Seth waited for me and guided us both out to the backyard to join the party.
