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Chapter 07

Through the Glass

"Anyone can hide. Facing up to things, working through them, that's what makes you strong." ~ Sarah Dessen

The day for mine and Edward's first Couples Counseling was tomorrow. To say that I was nervous would be a gross understatement. I was fucking frightened! The person we would be meeting would be helping us get our lives back – helping to get us back.

It had been a week ago that I'd called and made an appointment, both Edward and I would have to take off work for this. And the fact that we both are, I think, in my opinion, says a whole lot about how badly we want to make it work and get back to where we were. I often wondered if Esme and Carlisle were helping him like my father was for me. Charlie was my rock at the moment, whenever I'd start to panic and think it wouldn't work, he'd talk me down from the ledge, so to speak.

Even Rosalie and Emmett were helping in their own way. They're very supportive of this decision – for which I am thankful – but they also keep trying to get me out of the house, and keep my mind on something else. Emmett knows me a little too well. I think he knows that I'd probably just sit in my room listening to the radio shredding paper; after I finished my work of course.

Alice was finally speaking to me again, but that's probably because I was not currently breaking her brother's heart, more like on the way to mending it. So, she was helping Emmett and Rose with Operation Keep Bella Busy – personally, I think she owns the operation, if I'm being honest. And I am. I currently got a whole new wardrobe the other day, I am not kidding you… shopping is Alice's bestfriend.

Jasper is more taking a neutral stance and for that I love him. Because, really, he wouldn't be Jasper if he didn't. Then he can truthfully tell Tornado Alice, that he has nothing nor wants anything to do with the whole damn thing.

Currently I am at my brother's house and kicking his ass at Mario Kart Wii. Victor will race Jasper – I will never understand why these idoits just don't add a third player. While we're doing this, Rose is bitching about her pregnancy to Alice. She's pissed that her's isn't going as smoothly; see Alice had one of the easiest pregnancies ever. Never got nauses or tired, she was still a little ball of energy.

"TAKE THAT! Take that little sister!" Emmett screamed. "That's why we don't mess with the boss. Un, huh. Un, huh." He then tossed the steering wheel on the couch and did a victory dance.

"Dear God," I mummered, but couldn't help but laugh. "Is this how you're going to teach your sons to act?"

"Hells yeah! Remember every Sunday with dad?" When my eyes widened, he laughed. "That's exactly how I want it here! Yeah baby!"

I think I had to pick my jaw off of the floor. "May God help you, Rose."

"No, its more like may God help you're brother!" Rose said in a shrill tone, "I am not going through nine months of carrying these two, for them to grow up and act like barbarians!"

Emmett looked at us indignation when we laughed, before yelling, "Hey!"

"When Jazzy and I have a son, he'll be the perfect southern gentleman. Just like his daddy," Alice said. The funny thing about this – I didn't fucking doubt her. At all.

"Just rub it in," Rose grumbled.

Jasper just laughed before remarking to Alice. "I'll do my best, dear."

"I'm thinking that Kristen, is going to grow up a little ball of energy, just like her mother." I teased Alice.

"Well…" she said slowly. "She is showing signs of liking fashion, this is my dream come true! I can't wait untill we can discuss it and go on shopping sprees together!"

Rose snorted. "We do not need an Alice Jr."

"Excuse me! Someone is going to have to keep you're sons fashionable!"

This comment caused Emmett to laugh. "My sons? My sons? No thank you, Alice." He said with a wave of his hand. "But my boys are going to like sports, like their old man – and his before him."

"What if they get mom's crazy genes?" I just had to ask.

"They should be good, I mean it skipped us didn't it?"

I couldn't help it, I burst out laughing. "Are you freaking kidding me? It skipped me and went straight to you!" This was mine and my brother's inside joke. We both knew that Renee was excentric and scatterbrained – we just like to say that it was the other who got her craziness. Though, thank God, neither of us actually did.

"Bad move, little sister," he said. I knew what was coming, so I just waited.

When he started tickling me, I punched and kicked everywhere that I could reach. It didn't make much difference – it never did. Everyone laughed while watching our playful sibling mock fight.

We continued on like this for the rest of the night. Laughing at old memories, different jokes and then when Rosalie got out her old photo album from high school. It felt like one of those nights when we were all still dating, hanging out by a bon-fire at La Push beach, while drinking. We always had such fun on those nights. It was doubtful that we'd have another anytime soon – Rose was pregnant, my marriage sucked, then who knew what'd happen with Alice and Jasper by the time mine and Rose's troubles were over. If it wasn't unfair to Rose, I'd tell everyone that we were leaving for the beach right this minute.

~O~O~O~O~O~O~

I was completely relaxed by the time I got home. Though I felt bad for not making dinner for Charlie, I knew that he understood. I needed a day away from all this batshittery; to remember what we used to be. I'd be tense enough for five people come tomorrow, at the actual appointment.

Even if I knew that I should be upstairs sleeping – I couldn't. So I flipped through the TV channels till I found a show that I could watch to pass another hour and get me drowsy enough, so that when I did lay down, I'd pass right out.

~O~O~O~O~O~O~

When I woke in the morning, it was to that same annoying alarm clock. My first thought was yet again – why didn't I throw it out the window in high school. And I came to the same answer: Emmett.

That's when a chain of events happened in my mind. I remembered spending yesterday with Emmett, then the actual reason for spending the day with my slightly dense older brother – couples counsling. And that, ladies and gentleman, is when I started freaking the fuck out.

Now a few days ago, I had this all planned. Wake up with enough time to plan what I was going to wear – dressy casual – then have a nice hot shower, get dressed and ready then have a small breakfast, then drive to my doom.

But now? Everything was just wrong. None of my clothes seemed good enough. I didn't know if I should wear my hair up or down, then if down, how should it be styled? Curles or straight? I. Don't. Know. So, when in my time of need, I called Alice.

"Hi, Bella!" She chirped.

I breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank God, Alice. I don't know what to wear, or, how to style my hair! It's a freaking crisis." I cried.

"Hmmm," she drew the sound out. "Go to your closet; now I want you to look for that grey cardigan that I got you for Christmas. You find it?"

"Yeah…"

"Okay, now go back and get that light blue, v-neck tee. Have it?" I grunted my answer. "Alright, nooow I want you to get out any pair dark denim skinny jeans, then wear your chestnut colored Ugg boots. Annnnnd voila!"

"Sweet baby Jesus, you are a life saver, tinkerbell," I said. "Now, the hair!"

"Lemme see… Yes! Wash it, then let it dry under the curling iron. But, make them big so their all shiny and bouncy… buuuuuut straighten the little whisps of hair, that fall over you're forehead," she stopped to take a breath. "That's all."

I was amazed, I couldn't have done this right now without her. "I love you, so fucking much. Nobody has a better bestfriend than me." I decided that I'd treat her for this. "Guess what? You choose a day, any day, and you can take me shopping to any store – as many stores that you choose. Then you can play Bella Barbie."

Alice squealed so loud that I had to remove the phone from my ear, for fear that it'd make my eardrums bleed. "Ooooh! I wont forget this! We'll talk tomorrow, if we don't after your session – then make plans! Bye Bella, I love you!"

"Love you, too, Alice. Talk to you later."

Time to put Alice's hard work to the test.

~O~O~O~O~O~O~

I got to our therapist's office with a few minutes to spare. Half of me was thrilled that Edward and I we're starting the journey to getting back together. The other half? Well she wanted to fucking run away, screaming bloody murder. Suffice to say, she had a good plan, great even… she just couldn't get her way.

When I finally walked in, I noticed Edward standing by the office door fidgeting. Well, at least I wasn't alone in feeling awkward and uneasy. I should feel bad for him… but I didn't. I was almost next to him when the door opened.

A woman, who must be Maggie, our therapist came out. She was wearing heels, but even still she'd be concidered tall; she had an lithe body; round friendly face, her eyes were a light brown and she had auburn hair. To put it simple: she was beautiful.

"Edward, Bella?" She asked, in a soft but sweet voice.

Edward pulled on the collar of his shirt and answered, "Uh, that's us…"

She gave us a friendly smile, "Come in and have a seat."

She took a step back to allow us to enter her office. When I got in there I noticed how comfortable it felt; it was done in all natural tones. The walls were painted a seafoam green, while the furnature – a couch and two chairs – were a light brown color. Her desk and book shelves were finished in a rich brown.

Edward and I sat next to each other on the couch, while Maggie sat in the chair across from us. After she got a pen and paper.

"As you know, I'm Maggie O'Conner," she gave us an easy smile. "Today, I just wanted to start easy, get to know each other – because that is the basis of our relationship: trust. Neither of you will open up to me, unless you trust me."

The session lasted for an hour, and in that hour I began to really trust Maggie. I knew that she'd be the one who would help Edward and I fix the mess that we'd caused. I could tell that Edward was starting to trust her also – to me this was a great sign. It meant that he wasn't going to give up on therapy this time. He had his heart in it this time. Thank God.

What she wanted us to do was have two different lunch dates before our next session – one week from today. We had to test ourselves as couples again, in a couple setting. Then she'd be able to see how we'd deal with ourselves. But we weren't allowed to be alone like we were before I moved in with my dad – said it would be counter productive. We'd only be moving backwards… and that's something I wasn't going to do.

To me, it seemed as if everything would be okay, again.