Hey guys, I am so sorry that I took longer than I thought with this chapter. It was bitch to write. I wrote and re-wrote it a few times. Next chapter will hopefully be up quicker. I also want to thank all of my lovely readers and reviewers, you guys are the best. Seriously I just don't say that about everyone. Just you guys ;) Well I went and saw New Moon again, and I still freaking loved it!! Not that I didn't think I would. I'm pretty sure that I can't wait until Eclipse, who else is with me there? So I have a challenge for you guys, the first, tenth, and twentieth reviewer gets the chance to pimp a story, it could be your own or just one that you are loving right now. I will post the winners and their stories at the beginning of the next chapter!!I also want to give a shout out to my beta Yuki Sakura-Chan. She just started, but she is doing an awesome job!!

Just a reminder I put the links to their outfits on my profile. Check em out!!Disclaimer: I sadly do not own Twilight or any of the lovely characters. They belong to the talented Stephenie Meyer. But I do own: All of the books, soundtracks to both movies, Team Edward t-shirt, Twilight the movie, and used ticket stubs to Twilight and New Moon.


Last chapter:"Edward," I said, "I think that when need to talk."


"Bella, is that you?" Came his hopeful voice.

"Yes. I've thought about everything and I decided that I do want to hear what you have to say," I rushed out, before I could change my mind.

"Okay," he said, sounding surprised. "When do you want to do this?" I asked. "Whenever, I am free whenever you want talk," he said, his voice too hopeful.

I thought about when I wanted to do this. The sooner the better I decided.

"Can you come over now?" I asked timidly, now nervous.

"Yes, of course. I am on my way," and then the phone went dead.

I knew that I should call Jake or Emmett and let them know about this. But I couldn't bring myself to dial either of their numbers. I really didn't need a lecture about how stupid I was being and I definitely didn't need either of them showing up here and ruining my chance at hearing the truth. I would call them after he left.

Sighing, I set down my phone and realized that I was still in my pink dress. I needed to change before he got here. This was not definitely appropriate attire for this situation. I went into my bedroom and slipped the dress off and pulled on my favorite pair of denim skinny jeans. I yanked on my favorite worn out, blue, love t-shirt. Pulling my hair into a ponytail I went back out in the living room.

Sighing again, I flopped down onto the couch, what did I just get myself into? "Let me fix this," dream Edwards voice bounced around in my head. "You can't fix everything," I whispered out loud to no one. Great, now I am talking to myself. What's next? Maybe I should buy ten cats and become a crazy cat lady.

Before I could dwell on that thought, someone knocked on my door. I guess this is it. I pulled myself up off of the couch and walked slowly to the door, trying to get my nerves intact. "Who is it?" I asked, even though I was pretty sure I knew who it was. "It's Edward, Bella. Are you expecting someone else?" Came his amused voice through door.

I pulled the door open. "No, I figured it was you, but it's not smart for a girl, who is living alone, to open a door to just anyone." I explained staring at his shoes. I wonder if it would be weird if I stared at his feet the whole time. I would be able to hold my ground easier if I didn't have to look him in the eye.

"Well, anything that promotes your safety I am all for," he said in response to the door thing.

"Why don't you come in?" I said, stepping to the side, eyes still firmly planted on his feet.

"Okay." His voice sounded nervous, once his back was to me I looked up. Why did he have to always look so good? Even from behind I knew that he was in top shape. I watched the way his shoulder muscles flexed through his thin white t-shirt. He fluidly made his way to the couch and lowered himself down.

"Um…do you what anything to drink?" I mumbled out shutting the door. "I have milk, juice, water…"

"Water would be fine," he said, turning his body and making unwanted eye contact with me. He took in my appearance. "You looked amazing earlier, but I always loved you in casual clothes," he stated.

I didn't say anything to that, and instead just turned and went in the kitchen. I leaned against the fridge for a second trying to get control of my emotions again. After I was sure I was back in control, I grabbed two bottles of water from the fridge, and made my way back out into the living room. "Here you go." I handed him the bottle. His fingers brushed against mine when he grabbed it. A shock of electricity jolted through my hand at the contact. I yanked my hand back and fiddled with my own bottle. I knew that he felt it also, because he was staring at his hand in amusement.

After I settled myself onto the couch, as far from Edward as possible, I turned to him and said, "I thought long and hard about everything, and I decided the only way I can move on with my life is if I get closure from this situation." An emotion flashed across his face to quickly for me to decipher what it was.

"You want closure," he whispered. "Of course, why else would I do this?" I asked, picking at the label on my water.

He blinked a few times and then cleared his throat. "Alright, before I start could I ask you to please let me have my say before you ask any questions. I have spent a lot of time thinking about what I would say to you if given the chance." I nodded at him, letting him know that I would let him talk un-interrupted. "So, I guess I should start at the beginning. I loved you more than anything. Ever since homecoming, well even before that, you were all I ever saw. Things between us were so easy. We were happy and things just flowed. College came and you know the stress I was under, starting all that pre-med bullshit. I was worried at first that it would tear us apart. All the long hours and how it made me a cranky bastard. But you were always so understanding. I knew then that I didn't deserve you. When you said that you would marry me, it was the happiest moment of my life. I can't even explain what I was feeling that day and the ones to follow. Then one night, about two weeks until the wedding, I woke up from a bad dream. I had dreamt about our future, me a doctor, you a book editor. I even saw our two little brown haired children. Everything I had ever wanted. But I wasn't a part of the good stuff. I was so busy with work that you barley looked at me and the kids didn't even know who I was. For the longest time after I woke up, I just held you, feeling you breathe and your heart beating away. Usually this calms me, but this time I couldn't shake this fear that everything was spinning faster and faster out of my control. So, the next day I decided that I needed to fix something. I went to my dad, with the intention of telling him that I was dropping pre-med. When I got there, he pulled out all these pamphlets on medical schools, and how he would love for me to go to Harvard; since that's where he went, but he would be thrilled with whatever school I chose. I knew right then and there that I couldn't tell him the truth. I left their house failure. I failed you. Every day that passed after that, the anxiety and fear started eating me away. I knew that I didn't want to be a doctor, but I didn't know what I wanted to do instead. I felt trapped. I knew I needed a career to take care of you. The night of the wedding, I had no plans on running. I came to your room because I had to see you, I needed to be reassured that it was just us, no matter how big and scary everything had gotten, at the end of the day it was still just Bella and Edward."

He stopped to take a breath and a drink of water. He was so lost in thought now, that I almost wondered if he remembered that I was sitting there. It seemed like he was back in that night, reliving everything that happened. "Then, after I left your room, I went down to my dad's office; I really didn't plan on telling him that night it just happened. I went into his office and he started on about how you could attend Harvard and finish your degree there, and how I would get such a good education at Harvard med. I just snapped and told him that I hated medicine and I didn't want to do it. I won't rehash everything that was said that night, just that he refused to pay for any school besides med school and how was I going to take care of you without their help."

He looked up at me then, his eyes desperate. "I left his office and crept back into your room. I was in a full panic attack; you deserved so much better than me and what I could offer. I knew that you would have given up your scholarship to go to work to help us out. I couldn't ask you to do that. I couldn't ask you to give up on your dreams." Tears were running down his face, un-noticed by him. They were dripping off his chin and soaking his thin shirt. "So I did the cowardly thing and ran. I don't know how I was able to do it. Leaving you was the hardest thing I have ever done. I don't even know how I got to Chicago. I was just there, and that's where I stayed. I holed up in a shitty motel for about a month until my savings ran out. Then, I found a dead end job. I spent every day missing you so much that I was in physical pain. I was like a robot. I slept, ate, and worked. That's it. After almost a year, I had enough, I woke up in the middle of the night and I just knew that I couldn't live without you anymore. I got in the Volvo and drove, stopping only to eat and rest. When I got back to Seattle, it was midday. I went to your office and you were out to lunch; so, I guess I kind of dazzled the secretary a little," he looked at me sheepishly. "She told me, after some persuasion, where you were at. It was a little bistro not far from your office. I walked there, knowing that I was finally going to make everything right. But then I saw you, you looked so beautiful, you were sitting at one of the outside tables in this summery peach dress with your hair flowing down your back. I was so captivated by you that I didn't notice the man you were sitting with at first. He said something to you and you threw your head back in laughter. He reached out and grabbed your hand and you didn't pull away. You looked so happy. I couldn't make my legs work to go to you so I decided to go back to our apartment and wait for you, maybe I still had a chance to fix things. But once I got there, I realized that you had moved, and then I knew that I was too late. You had moved on. I had to finish what I had started. I couldn't fuck your life up again. I loved you too much to be selfish that way, so I left town again and didn't come back. I put away everything I felt and went back into Edward robot mode."

I sat back trying to absorb everything that he told me. How could he leave, the first time, over something so trivial? Then, to come back only to leave again without any explanations. I can't even comprehend what he was saying; anger started churning in my gut. I wish that he would have told me his fears and concerns. I tried to think about what man he would have seen me with; I only ever was people he would have known or clients.

"I don't even know what man you are saw me with. Riley is the first man I have dated since you have left," I confessed.

He looked at me in surprise. "He was tall, blonde, tan. He was wearing a cowboy hat."I realized then that I knew who he was talking about. I closed my eyes and shook my head. Standing up I made my way to my book shelf. Grabbing a book I knew by heart, I brought it over to Edward and showed him the author's picture. "Is this him?"

He looked at the picture for a minute and slowly nodded, "Yeah that's him."

"Edward, he is one of my authors. We were probably meeting about this book," I said, anger welling up in me. If had only walked across the street.

"I'm such an idiot," he said dropping his head into his hands.

"I won't argue with you there." I shifted on the couch, setting my water on the table.

He looked up at me with hopeful eyes, his bronze hair flopping over his forehead. My hand instinctively twitched, wanting to reach out and push it out of the way. Thankfully he reached up and did it himself. He looked at me imploringly. "Tell me what you are thinking," he finally said.

"I really don't know. It's a lot to process. But I can tell you what I am feeling." The anger that had set in was at a full simmer now. He nodded his head. "I am beyond pissed. I am so angry right now, that I can't even articulate what I want to say to you. Did you not know how much I love you?" I said angrily.

He looked at me in Surprise. "Love?" He said, his eyes shining for a moment. I realized then what I had said.

"Loved, I meant loved you," I mumbled. I didn't love him anymore. I couldn't not after all of these years and all of the pain he put me through.

"Of course," he said, his face now defeated.

"I would have done anything for you. We could have worked through everything together," I said, my head started pounding from all this new information. Part of me believed it, because Edward was always like that, making what he thought was the best decision for me. But the other part of myself found it unbelievable, if he really, truly loved me then he wouldn't of, couldn't of left me, not like that, not without an explanation.

"I know how you felt Bella, but I couldn't have asked you to give everything up for me. Like I said before, I couldn't have been that selfish," he said, reaching out and grabbing my hand.

I yanked back instinctively, pulling my hand from his. "Don't please," I whispered. I couldn't handle touching him, not yet. Hurt flashed across his face, but he pulled his hand away resigned.

"I think I need time to process everything," I said, looking down at my hand. It was still tingling from where he touched it.

"Of course, I unloaded a lot on you," he said standing. "I'll go."

I stood to walk him to the door. He stopped once he was in the hallway, "Would you please call me when you are ready to talk about it all?" He asked hopefully. "I mean, you do need your closure."

"Closure," I mumbled agreeing. I was so confused, part of me wanted to scream at him and tell him off, but I just couldn't make a rational thought right now.

"Alright, thank you for letting me explain myself," He said leaning, all of a sudden he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into a fierce hug. I was frozen, part of me was relishing the feel of him so close, but I knew that I needed to push him away. I didn't want him to get the wrong idea.

"Umm, Edward," I said slipping my hands in between us, slightly pushing away.

"Oh sorry," he said, letting go. "I couldn't help myself." He had the decency to look sheepish.

"Goodbye Edward," I said shutting the door.

I slipped into some pajama and crawled into bed, thoroughly exhausted. Between my date with Riley and Edwards confession my brain couldn't handle anything more and shut down.

"Bella sit still," Alice said impatiently, running the brush through my hair again. "If you keep moving I am never going to get your hair looking right."

I was seated in Alice's posh bathroom, subjecting myself to hours of non-stop torture just for Edward.

"Alice," I whined, I was tired of this chair . "Can't you just leave my hair the way I normally wear it?"

"Of course not." Astonishment written all over her face. "You are going to homecoming with Edward Cullen, whom you have had a crush on since we were like twelve, and you want me to leave your hair hanging in your face."

"She has a point," Rosalie chirped from her chair, already looking flawless. "You do want to look smashing don't you."

"Whatever," I said trying to sit still for Alice. I would never admit it but they were right, I did want to look "smashing" for Edward.

I thought about the blue dress I had bought the other day with my mom. It was so pretty. Knee length midnight blue material, with a darker bow that tied around the waist. I talked my mom into letting me buy black shiny ballet flats instead of the high hells that she thought was perfect. Perfect, right, I would end up face down on the ground in those. Tonight was going to special, I could just feel it. All the other girls, besides my close friends, were in an absolute tizzy over Edward asking me to the dance. They couldn't believe it either I guess.

"So do you think Edward's going to kiss you tonight?" Alice said, twirling my hair around her curling iron.

"I don't know," I stammered out, turning bright red.

"Well, I have a feeling that he is going to try," Alice said tapping her temple. Of course Alice and her feelings.

"Whatever Alice," I said, biting my lip. I couldn't even imagine kissing Edward, I may pass out.

After another forty minutes of being primped and polished, Alice was finished. "You look spectacular. Edward won't know what hit him."

"Girls, your dates our here," Mrs. Brandon said, sticking her head into Alice's bedroom. "Don't you girls look lovely."

Alice was wearing a sparkly Purple dress and Rose was in a stunning burgundy dress. I thought they both looked amazing, per usual.

"Alright girls, it's time to go knock the socks off of our guys, Rose said standing up gracefully.

She went down the stairs first. Emmett was at her side as soon as she was visible. I couldn't hear what he was saying, though I am pretty sure I didn't want to. Alice went next, saying that my entrance was more dramatic that way. Whatever Alice. Jasper drawled beautiful words at her, as he spun her around in a circle. Now it was my turn. My palms were sweating and I almost turned back towards Alice's room. I don't think I can do this. "Isabella, get your rump down here now." Alice demanded. I heard Emmett and Jasper chuckle. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, it was now or never. I slowly made my way down the stairs. I refused to look at Edward, I didn't want to see his face when he realized how plain I looked next to Rose and Alice. I felt him come up to me when I reached the floor. "Bella, you look amazing," he whispered.

I looked up at him in shock, surely he couldn't be talking to me, but he did say Bella. His face told me that he meant it, maybe he really was interested in me.

The evening passed by in a flurry of pictures and dances. Rosalie and Emmett were crowned King and Queen and then it was time for the last dance. Edward walked me slowly out onto the dance floor. He had been so attentive all night, never leaving my side. He was completely oblivious to the other girls, cough Lauren cough, that had been throwing themselves at him all evening. He had kept his arm firmly wrapped around my waist at all times.

We slowly started swaying to the beat. "I am so glad that you agreed to come with me tonight," Edward hummed next to my ear.

"Thank you for asking me, I have had a lovely time," I replied, a little sad that the evening was ending.

"If you had a good time, why does your voice sound so sad?" He asked, pulling away a little to look at my face.

"I'm not sad about that, I am actually a little sad to see the evening end." I could feel a blush starting on my chest.

"Well the evening may be over, but nothing has to end tonight," he said, pulling me closer to him. I looked at him curiously, I'm not sure what he meant by that statement.

"I guess I was wondering if you would be my girlfriend?" He asked, blushing a bit himself. I was stunned. Edward Cullen never has a girlfriend. Plus why me?

"You want me to be your girlfriend?" I choked out in surprise.

"Don't sound so surprised, I thought it was obvious. I have been chasing you around for the last three years," he stated, like I should have known this was coming.

"Why do you think I have never had a girlfriend before?"

"I just thought that you liked being single?" I mumbled, leaving out the part where I thought he was kind of a player.

"No, I just didn't want to be with anyone else but you. So please say yes."

"Yes, of course," I squeaked out.

A large smile spread across his face and then he leaned in and captured my mouth with his. It was a gentle and loving kiss. He didn't try to deepen it. He pulled away slightly and beamed another smile at me. "You don't know how happy you made me."

I woke up, clutching my spare pillow to my chest. It was still dark in my bedroom. I knew that morning was still far away. I thought hearing Edward out, would stop these dream memories. I was wrong. That night had been one of the happiest of my life. Not only did I get Edward, I also received my first kiss.

I lay in the darkness for a while and thought about everything Edward had told me. I was beyond furious that he decided what was best for us. But the more I thought about everything the angrier I became with Carlisle also. Why would he try to pressure Edward into medicine and us me as a leverage point. I never cared about money or material things. Why would either of them think that I wouldn't have been happy living in a cardboard box with Edward, was beyond me. I thought Edward knew me better than anyone; we could have worked through his insecurities. I just can't accept that he didn't give me a chance.

There was also the issue of Tanya, why would he bring her back her. Did he love her? Was this a desperate attempt at making his future with her secure? Did he want to bury me in the past so he could also move on? And why did I care if he did? I knew that I needed to dissect that line of thought, but I didn't have the energy to do so right now. So I decided to make a mental list, dang Alice and her ideas, and figure out what I needed to do next.

1. Talk to Esme about this all. I knew that she could give me insight into what happened between Edward and his Dad. Plus I needed to talk to someone about Edward's weird mood changes.

2. I needed to talk to Jake and Em. They have to let all of this shit go.

3. I want to help Edward mend the bridge with all of our friends. He needed to have them back in his life also.

4. I needed to figure out what I was exactly feeling about Tanya and Edward.

5. I had to talk to Edward again.

Feeling like I had made some sort of decisions, I fell back into a restless slumber.


Hope I didn't disappoint anyone with this chapter, like I said before it was a bitch to write. Remember my challenge from the top. Now go forth and review. You know you want to. I love hearing all of your thoughts!! Have a great week!

Symphiann