Title: Blinded by Love, Chapter 7
Warnings: Copious amounts of angst, Hurt/comfort, language, fluff
Disclaimer: Primeval and it's characters belong to Impossible Pictures, no copyright infringement is intended.
Two weeks after the incident at the Arc with the future predators and Abby and Connor's relationship had deteriorated rapidly. They avoided one another wherever possible and only really spoke when they were with Isabelle.
It had started for Abby with a slight resentment towards Connor for leaving Izzie. For Connor it began with the guilt he carried for the same reason but what made him feel worse was that he also felt like he had lost Abby's trust. This had quickly spiralled out of control making them both miserable.
Connor just didn't want to deal with the situation, he was afraid that if he did then Abby would reveal that she didn't want to be with him any more and he couldn't handle that. The fact that every night they slept in the same bed was becoming harder and harder to deal with too. He made excuses to stay at work later or went out after and sat alone in the pub. Thing was, that just made him feel like he was missing out on spending time with his daughter.
Abby had been angry with Connor, no, worse than angry - furious, but these feelings had now subsided and she was just left with fear. Fear that she would lose her child, that she could have lost her - almost did, fear that she could have lost Connor too. Now she was afraid to let Isabelle out of her sight for even a second. She had demanded leave from work despite already missing so much time and threatened Lester with handing in her notice if he didn't agree.
After another extra shift at the Arc, Connor plodded dejectedly into the flat.
"Daddy Daddy!"
He couldn't help the smile that tugged at his lips, he would never tire of hearing his daughter's excited cries at the sound of her Father returning home. She was sitting on the floor at Abby's feet, surrounded by toys but they lay forgotten and she got onto her knees, crawling towards him.
"Hey baby." He greeted.
"You're late." Abby stated softly.
"Yeah, had some stuff to do."
Neither one made eye-contact and Abby seemed to accept his explanation, seeming to Connor like she couldn't really care less.
"Daddy!" Isabelle exclaimed again, putting her arms up to be lifted.
"Just a minute Iz, Daddy's got dirty hands, I'll just go wash em."
He rushed off into the kitchen, washing his hands quickly and returning to the living area.
"Connor! Just . . . Wait there!" Abby urged in hushed tones.
He froze on the spot, wondering what on earth was going on but saw Isabelle now standing in the spot where she had been sitting. She had pulled herself up onto her feet numerous times using furniture and stumbled around whilst gripping on tightly. This time however, she was nowhere near the sofa or a chair, it was clear she had clambered to her feet unaided.
The little girl looked up at her Dad adoringly, flashing him a beautiful smile that was so much like Abby's it made his heart ache. Then she moved one foot forward, wobbling and teetering before moving the other foot to join it.
Connor was ready to move speedily if she should fall but watched on in awe as she took one, two, three more steps. She came to a stop just short of Connor's feet, looking extremely pleased with herself and lifted her hands in the air once again.
He swept her up, spinning her round and kissing her cheek.
"Yay! Well done Izzie!" He praised.
Abby ran up to them, applauding Isabelle.
"Yay! Clever girl!" She cooed, leaning forward and kissing Isabelle's other cheek.
Isabelle was applauding herself now too and Abby and Connor both laughed, catching one anothers gaze for the first time in a long time. It was amazing to see that smile on Abby's face and for a moment it was easy for Connor to forget their troubles. All too soon though, the memories of the last two weeks returned and they looked away, smiles fading.
"Daddy kiss!" Isabelle said.
He kissed his daughter again.
"Mummy kiss!"
Abby kissed her, stopping to blow a raspberry on her cheek which made her chuckle.
"Daddy kiss!" She said again.
It was one of her favourite games, that and pointing at everyone in the room and making them say their names over and over which was cute for the first five minutes but could get extremely tedious after a while.
Connor grinned and gave her another kiss, promising himself that from now on he would be home on time every night. Regardless of his problems with Abby, he wasn't going to miss out on any more than he had to of his child's life. If he had returned any later tonight then he may have missed her first steps.
"Mummy kiss!"
Abby kissed her again.
"Daddy kiss Mummy!"
Abby and Connor looked at one another uncomfortably, they hadn't been intimate at all in the last fortnight.
Isabelle looked on expectantly, not understanding why they weren't playing her little game, they'd always played along before. She flashed them a grin, her only two teeth showing.
Connor leant forward and kissed Abby quickly on the cheek and then walked away with Izzie.
"C'mon trouble, let's get you in the bath and then Daddy will tell you a dinosaur story."
Isabelle clapped her hands excitedly and squealed, she loved Connor's stories and found it difficult to get to sleep without one.
Once Connor had disappeared into the bathroom with Izzie, Abby sat down on the sofa and sighed heavily. She put her head in her hands and cried. It really felt like things between her and Connor were over, he couldn't even bear to kiss her any more. Their relationship had always been comfortable and easy, even when his love had been unrequited but now . . . now it was completely the opposite and it was breaking her heart.
Connor sat at his desk in the Arc fiddling with his hand-held anomaly detector. He was giving it an upgrade, or trying to, his mind kept drifting elsewhere though.
It was Isabelle's first day at nursery today and he couldn't help wondering how she was. He'd gone with Abby to drop her off and she'd screamed the place down as they walked away. The staff there had assured them that once they'd gone she'd be fine and that they would call if there were any problems but still . . . she was so young, he hated the thought of her with strangers.
The private nursery had come highly recommended though and it was the only place Abby would agree to leaving her while they went to work. Besides, it would probably be good for Izzie to mix with other children from a young age, her first birthday had passed without much fuss. They knew no people with any children to invite and so it was just them, Becker, Sarah and Danny. At least now she would meet friends and form new relationships.
Connor looked up and noticed Abby slinking off with her mobile to her ear, no doubt calling to see if their daughter was ok despite promising not to. Things had definitely changed between them now, they had to stick together for Isabelle's sake but Connor had started sleeping on the sofa more and more often. They chatted at work and around Isabelle but all intimacy was lost, no eye-contact, no bodily-contact of any kind.
"How is she?" He asked when Abby came back into the room.
"It's nap time, but she's been playing with the other kids."
"That's good."
She nodded and sat back at her desk continuing with her work.
They both watched the clock all day, praying that an anomaly didn't open today of all days and when finally it came to leave, they both stood simultaneously and rushed out together.
The car ride to collect Izzie was a silent one, but it wasn't so awkward the way it used to be. Now the quiet between them was just the norm and far more appealing than facing their problems.
Isabelle's nursery was only a ten minute journey from the Arc and they arrived in no time at all, hurrying into the building, two pairs of eyes searching. When they spotted the little girl, black pig-tails held up with red ribbons, one falling to the side slightly, wearing a little denim dress with red tights and matching rosy cheeks they both grinned from ear to ear.
"Izzie!" Abby called, waving frantically.
Isabelle turned and looked at them, smiling and showing off her dimples.
"Mummy! Daddy!"
She pushed herself up and toddled over to them, lifting her hands into the air. Abby picked her up and hugged her tight.
"Mummy missed you little girl." Abby said.
Connor leant in and kissed her forehead,
"Did you have fun sweetheart?" He asked softly.
"Yep."
A member of staff came up to them and informed them of the events of Izzie's first day and then they left for home. Isabelle babbled happily for the whole journey about her day, Abby and Connor catching an odd word here or there, she was still mostly on one or two word sentences, but it was good to see her excited about the new childcare arrangements.
When Connor came into the living area with his daughter's meal, he was surprised to see that Abby had fallen asleep on the sofa, Isabelle playing happily on the floor. He picked her up and placed her in her highchair. It was typical, Abby moans about how much she misses Izzie all day and then when they get her home she falls asleep straight away.
"Poor Mummy." Izzie said, pointing at Abby as Connor fed her a spoonful of mashed carrot.
"Yeah, poor Mummy." He replied sarcastically.
"Awwww, poor Mummy."
Connor smiled despite his annoyance at Abby, Izzie was just too cute sometimes.
The next day at the Arc, Sarah stopped Abby in the corridor.
"Hey Abby, I thought we could use a girlie night, go out for a meal on Saturday, go to a few pubs."
Abby looked thoughtful for a moment as if mulling it over. She'd had a terrible headache for a couple of days now, alcohol and a noisy pub probably weren't a good idea, besides, they left Izzie all day, she didn't think she could leave her at night too.
"It sounds good Sarah but I can't, I have Izzie."
"Connor can have her for one night surely."
"He can, he does it's just . . . I can't, sorry."
Abby walked away but Sarah wasn't satisfied, her friend needed a break from it all, she could tell she was unhappy about something and bottling it up was never a good way to go.
Later on Sarah went into Connor's lab to have a quiet word with him.
"Connor?"
"Hmm?"
He was working on a new gadget, wouldn't tell anyone what it was. The laser cannon sat in a corner, the shiny metal covered in a thin layer of dust.
"I'm trying to get Abby to go out at the weekend."
"And?"
"She won't go, she say's she has Izzie."
"She does."
"But you're there right?"
"Since when has that made a difference?"
Sarah frowned, was she missing something?
"I just wondered if you could have a word, convince her to come along?"
"What makes you think she'll listen to me?"
Now she knew she was most definitely missing something.
"Erm, I don't know. Because she's your girlfriend!"
Connor sighed, he didn't actually think Abby was his girlfriend anymore. They never kissed, never touched, never made love. It had been more than three months since they'd had sex and he just wasn't sure where he stood anymore - if there was any hope left at all for them or whether Isabelle was destined to come from a broken home.
"I'll talk to her." He told Sarah.
******************
When Connor got home, Abby and Izzie were already there and it was Izzie's bath time. He could hear her splashing and giggling and Abby shrieking, no doubt being soaked by the little monster. She loved her baths and often cried when it was time to get out.
He waited until Isabelle was tucked up in bed and Abby was putting away her toys before he broached the subject of her going out.
"Abbs, Sarah said she asked you to go out this weekend."
"Yeah she did."
"Why don't you go and enjoy yourself, I can take care of Izzie."
"Nah it's ok, I'm not really that bothered, I've not been feeling all that great."
She rubbed at her temples to try and alleviate some of the discomfort there, she would have to take a couple of painkillers before she went to bed. She wished Connor would come to bed tonight and hold her, it had been so long since he had and when she felt ill, she just wanted a hug.
"But you could do with a girls night, stress-free, be good for you."
"I told you I don't want to." She snapped. "I'd rather stay home with Isabelle.
She hadn't meant to snap but her head really hurt and she really didn't want to go out, why was everyone so keen that she went out?
Connor had been feeling guilty for so long - too long. He'd left Isabelle and she had almost been attacked, could have been killed. That guilt had eaten away at him for months, destroying his relationship with Abby. But why did she keep punishing him? He could feel the guilt gradually turning into anger, was that it? One mistake and now Abby was never going to trust him with their baby ever again?
"Of course you would." He replied harshly. "God forbid you should leave her alone with me."
She looked at him, shocked by his tone.
"Connor I didn't . . . "
"I made one mistake." He interrupted. "One stupid little mistake and that's it is it?"
She swallowed hard.
"You left our baby Connor, that's more than a little mistake."
She felt a need to point that out, even though her anger towards him had long since faded.
"I went to get something from the next room. don't you think I play that moment over and over in my head? don't you think I wish things had been different?"
"Yes, and so do I but there's no point worrying about things you can't change. We got to her in time, she's ok."
Their heated argument was doing nothing to ease her aching head.
"You fell asleep last night when you were supposed to be watching her." He accused.
"I haven't been feeling well, I didn't mean to fall asleep."
"Oh so it's ok for you to make a mistake but not me?"
"What? Connor, everyone makes mistakes, it's what makes us human."
"Then why can't you let mine go?"
She lifted her hand to her head again, she was feeling a little light-headed and needed to sit down. She was more than a little confused by Connor's outburst too, she wasn't aware that he felt this strongly about everything. Then again, how could she? They never talked anymore.
"Connor I have, I don't . . . " She winced at a sharp pain in her forehead. "I don't blame you, I just worry about Izzie, I don't . . .
Her eyes rolled into the back of her head and she fainted, falling to the floor with a thump.
"Abby!" Connor exclaimed, rushing to kneel by her side. "Oh Abby!"
He stroked her face, it was clammy.
Abby's eyes fluttered open, a look of confusion crossing her features.
"Connor?"
"You fainted." He explained. "Oh God, I'm sorry I shouted at you, you said you were ill and I didn't listen."
"It's ok." She replied, pushing herself to a seated position. "I'm fine, really."
"Abby you're clearly not fine, you need to see a doctor."
"No, I'm ok I just need some rest. Probably been over doing it on the diet that's all."
Connor looked at her incredulously.
"You've been dieting?"
He would never understand her, she was already thin and definitely didn't need to lose any weight.
"I've put a bit of weight on so I just wanted to get back down to what I was."
"Abby, you look fine the way you are!, better than fine! You don't need to lose weight!"
She nodded, she had been becoming a little obsessed but she couldn't understand it, no matter what she did her weight seemed to be climbing steadily.
"I'll start eating sensibly again I promise."
Connor pulled her to her feet, steadying her as she almost went down again.
"Lets get you to bed." He said softly. "And I'm going to make you a sandwich."
She didn't put up a fight, she'd eat a block of lard if it would make her feel better than she had in the last couple of days.
Connor helped her to bed where she sat and removed her jeans and socks whilst he disappeared to make her something to eat. When he came back, he handed her the cheese sandwich and sat and watched as she ate.
"You don't have to watch you know, I promise I'll eat it." She said, smiling.
He smiled back and looked away.
"I'm sorry, I'm just worried about you that's all."
Abby leant forward and touched his hand and it was like a jolt of electricity passed between them. As she pulled away he grabbed her hand and pulled it back, holding onto it tightly, not wanting to lose their connection.
"I told you I'm fine, be even better when I've finished this and had some sleep."
He nodded and stood to leave.
Abby panicked, this was the closest they had been in so long and she didn't want it to end. This could possibly be the start of things improving for them at last and she couldn't just sit and watch the opportunity pass her by.
"Wait!"
He stopped and looked down at her, frowning.
"You don't have to leave, this is your room too."
"That's ok, you need your rest."
"Please Connor." She begged.
She hated herself for sounding so whiny but she was desperate. She needed him to hold her, to kiss her and love her again. She felt so lost without him.
"Abby?"
"Stay."
Connor nodded again and walked round the bed, kicking off his shoes and joining her on the other side. He was shocked by how strange it felt to lay in the same bed as her, had it really been so long? He lay there awkwardly while she finished her sandwich and then he felt the bed shift as she settled into it.
Her next move shocked him even more as she rolled onto her side and snuggled against him, head resting on his chest.
"I'm sorry Connor."
"What for?"
"For shutting you out, for making you feel like I didn't trust you with Izzie."
She looked up at him, her blue eyes shining with unshed tears.
"Because I do you know . . . trust you that is."
"I'm sorry too." He replied. "I've missed you so much."
Abby couldn't help the sob that escaped and he pulled her up so that their faces were level, kissing her softly and then pulling her to him in a fierce hug.
Connor felt Abby shake against him, his vest becoming moist with her tears and he rubbed her back soothingly.
"I love you." He whispered.
Feeling empowered by the declaration, he said it over and over until they both fell asleep.
***************
The next couple of weeks passed by in a bit of a blur. Izzie was growing so fast, she had definitely found her feet and loved to run around and she seemed to learn a new word every day. She mixed well with the other children at the nursery and had already been invited to three birthday parties.
Abby and Connor were back on track too. They were taking things slow, Connor taking her out for romantic dates or making her nice dinners. It had taken a week of Connor being back in the same bed as Abby again for him to make any kind of sexual advances. He wanted to be sure that things were right between them. When they had finally made love for the first time in four months, he was sure he could hear fireworks exploding around them. He hadn't been able to last long, but Abby definitely wasn't complaining, they'd done it every night since, sometimes twice.
The team at the Arc had been lucky lately, only coming across three anomaly's in the last fortnight, all of which were relatively easy to deal with. Their luck however was about to change.
It was still early and eerily quiet around the Arc when the Anomaly detector went off. Abby, Connor and the rest of the team had only just arrived.
Lester rushed down from his office.
"Ok, What have we got?"
Connor was typing furiously into the detector's keyboard.
"Looks like the anomaly has opened on farmland just outside London."
He continued to type as the rest of the team entered the main operations room.
"Right, off we go then." Becker said. "I'm driving."
They all groaned, they always fought for who would get to drive. Abby drove too fast, Connor drove too slow, Sarah too careful and Danny and Becker too reckless, so no one was ever happy.
They piled into the car, Danny up front with Becker and the other three crammed into the back, and made their way to the farm.
Once there Connor and Abby pulled their portable anomaly detectors from their bags and they started looking around.
Sarah walked with Abby as they searched.
"You seem happier." Sarah told her.
"Happier?" Abby asked, distracted by the pulses and clicks of the detector in her hand.
"Yeah, you've been very smiley this week and so has Connor."
Abby smirked, she was tempted to say that it might be something to do with all the sex he'd been getting but she bit her tongue.
"Are we not always smiley?"
"No, not for a long time."
"Oh."
She hoped Izzie hadn't picked up on the tension between them, she had always tried her best to shelter her from what was going on between her and Connor.
"So you two are ok now yeah?"
Abby stopped and looked at Sarah. Had it really been that obvious that she and Connor were experiencing problems? She pursed her lips and nodded.
"Yeah, yeah we're ok now."
"Good, you had us all worried."
Abby frowned.
"Us?"
"Yeah, me and the guys. It was obvious something was going on, even Connor doesn't usually work that much."
It was true that he had put in a lot of overtime in the last four months, no doubt trying to avoid her which was how he usually dealt with his problems. Abby was surprised though at the relief she felt at hearing Sarah say that he was definitely at work. It had crossed her mind on more than one occasion that perhaps Connor had found somebody else. That would have totally crushed her.
"Over here guys." Danny called from a barn.
Everyone ran across to join him just as a second truck arrived filled with Becker's men.
It was a large barn with a high ceiling and the anomaly was almost as large as the one they had discovered at the airfield. It glistened and flickered, filling the dilapidated old building with light.
Abby bent down to inspect something on the straw-covered floor.
"What is it?" Danny asked.
She touched the substance, rubbing her fingers together and bringing it to her nose.
"We've got blood."
"Great!" Becker said with sarcasm.
"So we've got a predator on the loose?" Danny questioned.
"Maybe, could just be an injured animal." Abby replied.
At that moment they heard a gun firing in the distance and all shot up, running to the door.
"Sounds like a shotgun." Becker informed them.
"Don't farmer's have shotguns?" Asked Connor.
They all shared a look of concern.
"Farmhouse!" Becker exclaimed.
He ordered his men to guard the anomaly and they all ran in the direction of the small cottage.
More shots rang out as they neared the house and it sounded as though they were coming from a nearby field.
"Maybe he's shooting birds." Connor suggested, breathing heavily from his run.
"When have things ever been that simple?" Abby asked, smiling.
"You're right." He replied. "It's probably a twenty foot pre-historic monster on a killing spree."
They grinned at one another, still enjoying being able to converse this way again.
"Help!" Called a man running towards them, shotgun slung over his shoulder and waving his arms frantically.
It was obviously the farmer, wearing a thick green coat with matching Wellington boots and a black woollen cap.
They made their way over to him quickly and he frowned as he took in Becker's uniform.
"Who are you?" He asked and then thought better of it, deciding there were more important matters to attend to. "Never mind, you have to help me, there's some kind of . . . Creature killing all my livestock, it's already had two cows and a horse."
"If I were you I'd be more worried about it coming after you." Becker said.
"Do you have any children?" Abby asked.
It would never have crossed her mind before, but now it was the first thing she thought of.
"Yes two boys." He replied looking confused.
"Where are they?"
"At school."
Abby heaved a sigh of relief and Connor came up behind her, squeezing her shoulders affectionately. Situations such as this brought back a lot of bad memories for them both.
"Wife?" Danny asked.
The farmer nodded.
"She's inside."
"Good, go and join her. Lock the doors and windows and go and sit in an upstairs room. We'll let you know when it's safe to come out."
He nodded again and turned to walk to his home. He stopped for a minute, looking at Danny.
"Who are you people?" He asked.
"That's not important but we're going to keep you safe."
The man seemed satisfied and disappeared into the farmhouse.
"Right then, to the field." Danny said. "Abby, go get your tranquilizer gun."
Abby turned and ran back towards the truck.
"She shouldn't be alone, there might be more of those things." Connor said.
He didn't wait for the nod from Danny or Becker, he ran after her. There was no way he was letting the mother of his child get eaten by some vicious creature.
As Becker, Danny and Sarah entered the field through a small wooden gate, the first thing to hit them was the smell of death. Not far from the gate lay a half eaten cow with flies already buzzing around it.
Sarah gasped, balking and putting her hand over her mouth.
"Don't look at it." Becker advised.
They walked on, across the field.
"Look." Danny whispered, crouching down low.
They followed suit, getting low to the ground and looking in the direction he was pointing.
"What is it?" Asked Sarah sounding horrified.
"I don't know, but whatever it is it's big."
At the other end of the field they could see a dark shape, it was obviously feasting on some kind of dead animal, probably the other cow the farmer had mentioned.
Connor and Abby came running across to join them, Abby holding on to the tranquilizer gun.
"Get down!" Becker whispered, waving at them.
But it was too late, the creature had seen them. It's yellow eyes stared at them for a second as if assessing if they were a threat, then it snarled and ran off into the trees.
"We can't let it escape." Becker said as he started running in the direction the creature had just disappeared into.
They all followed on behind.
"What was that thing?" Danny asked Connor.
"I'm not sure, I'd have to get a closer look but we may be looking at a future anomaly."
It didn't take long for them to find the trail the monster had left. It was obviously bleeding from being shot at by the farmer and had left a trail of blood. They walked for ten minutes, the tree's and undergrowth becoming steadily thicker before the trail ended suddenly.
"Where'd it go?" Asked Abby.
Connor shrugged and they all fanned out into a circle, watching and listening for any signs of life. There were none though, not even birdsong, it was eerily silent.
"It's close." Whispered Becker.
Abby was shocked suddenly by a great weight landing on her from above, knocking her to the floor and pinning her down. The creature looked down at her, teeth stained red with cows blood and the scariest eyes she had ever seen. She screamed, a terrible gut-wrenching sound and Connor looked on in horror. He didn't have a gun, why did he never have a gun?
