Chapter Seven
Marissa scrambled around her apartment, throwing random necessities into her purse. Her pace was feverish- her cab was due soon, her plane was leaving in a while. She kept glancing at her watch. The cab was supposed to call in five minutes ago; and yet still, there was no sign of anyone waiting in front of the apartment. Her plump duffle was packed, her purse had a few things scattered in and about. She believed that she would be set to live in this cottage for a couple of weeks, just until the sun started to get into her brain, and until more conflicts would unravel. Things always happened. When her life seemed to be utterly perfect, something lurked around her life, dropping a bomb of problems and mischief. It was inevitable, and she had to get used to it. She almost felt her stomach tying itself in a billion, million knots. Maybe she would get a chance to meet with Summer Roberts, Seth Cohen- Ryan Atwood. Maybe karma would bring the fantastic four together again.
She slid out her cell phone, as she called Keely for a last goodbye, "Keely, honey. I'm so sorry for my bitchiness earlier, but you know- it's never easy seeing your fiancé with another woman. So listen, honey, you take care. You're an excellent woman, and I hope another model will be lucky enough to befriend you like I did." Marissa said quietly, "You were an amazing assistant, but most of all an excellent friend." Marissa started, after she heard her hello.
"Oh God, M'rissa. I can't believe you're leaving!" She replied quickly, "I can't believe you're just going to leave, because of a jerk like Derek. You shouldn't, you really shouldn't, Marissa,"
"I might come back," Marissa muttered, her heart aching for her friend, "I'm only going to clear my mind. I need that, at least a little of it. I don't know- I need to rid myself of all the bull shit, you know?" Marissa sniffled quietly, "Oh I love you, honey. You've been such a sweetheart," Marissa said, picking up her duffle bag, as she saw a cab pull up in front of her apartment. She bolted out the door, as she continued to speak words of farewell to her friend, "Listen, you take care of yourself. I want to hear from you- you know where to reach me. I want to know how you're doing, honey."
"Oh, don't worry- I'll definitely call you!" Keely smiled into the phone weakly, "Oh, M'rissa. Who am I going to joke around with at work now? All I've got left is the cheating wheeze-bag man whore punk-"
"Don't turn all high school on me, hun. It's okay. I've already given him my piece of mind, and the cheating wheeze-bag man whore punk knows not to bother me in my new cottage in Newport," Marissa laughed, as she made her way toward the cab, "Airport please," she whispered as she entered, covering her cell phone for a moment, "Anyway, so yeah Keels. Can you do me a favour though?"
"Yeah, anything," Keely replied, evidently doing some work on the computer, since Marissa heard her hurried clicking on the keyboard.
"Don't make this a big deal- if people at work ask what's going on, say I just left. Don't answer where, or why. I'm sure they'll figure it out when they see their Executive Director with some tiny blonde wrapped all over him. People are always going to talk- I just don't want you to feed the gossip, okay?" Marissa asked gently, looking back at her apartment, which was becoming a mere sliver among the several buildings around it, as they traveled further down the road.
"Sure thing, M'rissa. I kind of knew that regardless if you said goodbye or not, that you didn't want the whole office spurring on your subject. So you can trust me, beautiful!" she laughed gently, "But don't worry- I'll conjure up some payback for the man whore. I'll be ever so subtle about it, so no worries. He'll never suspect a thing," she giggled excitedly.
Marissa laughed, as she shook her head, "Hey, I'm not suggesting anything, but seriously that man should be brought down." She smiled with a sigh, "You know, Keels? I hate goodbyes- I really do. I've had too many of them when I was a kid… and every time I'm faced with having to leave the ones I care about, I feel so shitty inside," she pressed her lips together, clearly troubled.
"It's not like you're leaving forever, M'rissa!" Keely chuckled on the other end, but after Marissa's solemn silence, she questioned apprehensively, "You're not leaving for, forever are you?"
Marissa shrugged to herself, "I don't know," she said as honestly as she could, "I have nothing here any more. I used to think I could never leave New York because I loved it so much, but I guess what I loved was what I lost now. So, I just have nothing," she said gently, coming to the realization of how much she cared for Derek, "Nothing at all," she said even quieter.
"How about your Mom? Your sister? You're just going to leave them all, and live on a cottage along Newport Beach? I don't know, M'rissa. The Cooper girl I knew would never just give up like that."
"I'm not giving up, Keels. I'm starting new, because I just can't- can't- be here any more." Marissa scolded carefully.
"Or in other words, you're starting new, because you're giving up on New York. Am I right?" Keely asked quietly, as she stifled a laugh, "Listen, I know how it is. I'm just playing the Devil's advocate- that, and I want you to come back. Got to give you some good think-abouts on the plane ride, right?"
Marissa laughed uneasily, "Yeah, sure. But still, it's way tougher than what you think." Marissa said finally, hoping that her friend would not contradict it.
"Well I'll bet- your fiancé just got rowdy with another woman. If that's easy for you, then I swear you are Superwoman."
"I really don't feel like talking about it."
"Sorry," Keely said gently, "I know it's probably still hard on you… but don't worry. One day you'll laugh at it all, and even thank him for ending the relationship before more lies sprouted, you know? You might not see it now, but you really will." Keely assured, "Now listen, I bet you're kind of busy right now, ready to get to the airport- so just know that I'm here for you, if you ever need a shoulder to cry on. Okay?"
"Okay," Marissa muttered in reply, "Listen Keels, just take care and don't loose touch. Gotta go now, bye hun." Marissa said, clicking off her phone, "Yeah, turn on the third terminal please!" Marissa said, only seconds before the turn. She heaved a great sigh- she couldn't be more ecstatic about leaving New York. There was nothing left for her here anymore. The driver made a squeaky turn, but they were well on their way. Marissa's goodbyes had been made, and she was ready to set off into her old, and yet new world of Newport, "Shit!" she scowled, as she remembered her mother, and sister. How would they find out about her abrupt decision? "Hello Mom?" she said quickly, after she had pulled out her cell phone, and dialed her mother's number.
"Yes, sweetie! Did Derek give you that surprise of his yet?" Julie Cooper replied on the other end. She seemed excited- almost wondering.
"Did he ever," Marissa decided not to speak more on the topic, "Listen, mom? I'm going to Newport, and uh, I might not be back in a bit." She said quietly, curious as to what expression her mother's face wore.
"What? You might not come back? What about the apartment? What about Derek?"
"Sir, just let me out here," Marissa said to the driver in a harsh whisper, "Mom, me and Derek are done. Don't ask me about it- I'll tell you when I'm ready. I can't stand New York anymore."
"Over?" She barely understood the life-changing news that her daughter was bombarding her with, and yet she kept throwing more elaborate, but very brief explanations.
"Mom, keep up. I'll call you when I get to Newport, bye." Marissa said, as she scurried out to get her luggage from the back, after which she raced toward the airport entrance. Her flight was leaving soon, and she had yet to do so much. She hurried into line, as she scrambled for her passport, and documents.
"Can I help you?" a lady behind the counter asked, as she approached her.
"Yeah, um. I have a flight leaving in about twenty minutes," Marissa sighed heavily, as she slapped down her ticket and passport, searching for further papers, "Sorry, it's just been a very stressful day today."
"It's alright, Miss." She said, scanning through her papers, "Okay, we have a few available seats- even one in first class. Should I sign you up?"
"Yes, please." Marissa said, dropping her bags to the floor frustratedly.
"Okay, here's your seat," she said, circling the numbers on her ticket, "You have to be in your gate in five minutes, so I suggest you hurry." The lady replied reassuringly, "Have a good day, Miss." She called after her, as Marissa jogged down the airport, looking up at the signs to find out where exactly her gate was located. When she finally reached it, it was only a matter of moments, before she was asking what direction her boarding area was in. She collapsed on one of the very uncomfortable chairs, as she gathered her things around her.
"Hey, is this seat taken?" a young man proceeded to ask her, right after she had taken her seat. She looked up at his shady, dark hair and his warm smile.
She shook her head, "Nope," she said with a quiet sigh, as she pulled out a magazine from her carry-on. She pretended to seem uninterested.
"Rough day?" he asked, not taking his gaze off of her.
"Mhmm," she continued, as she glanced at her reflection on the cover page. There she was- all beautiful, and happy.
"Wow, that's you, you're here," the man said, looking from the magazine to her, with a confused expression on his face, "You're- you're a model?" he said quietly, as he continued to study her face.
Marissa laughed lightly, looking at his rapidly changing expression, "So what? You're not going to be as smooth just 'cause I'm a model? Does it make a difference?" she smirked softly, as she continued to flip through her magazine.
"Well, yeah it makes the world of a difference," the stranger said, never tearing his eyes from her face, "But just because you thought I was quote, 'smooth', it gives a guy like me a little ego-boost," he chuckled, and with him Marissa, "But I know, I know," he said after Marissa turned to him, "I shouldn't keep my hopes up," he shrugged with a grin, "But what can I say? Someone as gorgeous as you just takes my breath away."
"Hmm, so is that because I'm a model now, or what?" Marissa teased, a small smile curling the tips of her lips.
"No, no. I'd pick you out of a crowd of a million ladies, regardless if you were a model or not," he smiled, extending his palm toward her, "I'm Kristian," he said politely, waiting for Marissa's hand.
"I'm Marissa Cooper," she replied, shaking his hand lightly.
"Duh, I know." He chortled, "Every store I go to, there you are. It's like I practically know you."
"Hey, don't judge," she said firmly, "You don't know a thing about me," she pressed her lips together with a sigh, "I don't think you'd like to, anyway."
"Mmm, you're right. But in case I get bored on the plane ride, I'm sure I'll find you," he smiled gently, "Where are you sitting, might I ask?" he said, pulling out his own ticket. Marissa soon followed, with her own, "Let me guess- first class?" he asked, with a light smirk. Marissa seemed to blush with a nervous shrug, "Great, me too," he smiled, "Let's get boarding then, huh?" he suggested, as he started to get up. Marissa stood up as well with a smile.
"Let's." she replied softly, following him toward the slowly forming line, "So, why are you off to Newport?" she asked, trying to start a casual conversation. She couldn't help but stare into his icy, but warm eyes that stared right back at her.
"Oh, me? I live there," he nodded, with a chuckle, "How about you? I know I've definitely never seen you around Newport before."
"Mmm, yeah. I used to live there," Marissa said, getting a chill down her spine as she thought of all that she was going back to in Newport, "It's been a while," she said quietly, "And I can't say I'm not afraid."
"So why are you going back?" he asked politely, slowly scurrying after the progressing line.
"Long story." Marissa muttered.
"Long air plane ride." Kristian replied suggestively, "I'm all ears, if you're all lips- wait, you know what I mean," Marissa laughed, rolling her eyes.
"I don't feel like being all lips. It all just happened so fast- I guess it's still a fresh wound," she frowned, "But you're right- long ride, maybe I'll get bored," she smiled up at him faintly.
"Tickets please?" the lady interrupted them, with an extended, grubby hand, ready to scan through their tickets, "Ask the stewardess where you're sitting. Enjoy your flight," she said, ushering them off, before she spoke to another group of people.
The next attendant helped them to their first-class seats, with a wide smile plastered against her pearly-white teeth, "Well what do you know? You're my seat neighbour," he laughed, looking over at her.
"What do you know?" Marissa said, with equal enthusiasm and a laugh. She let out a gentle sigh, "I hope you're in the mood for story time, because something about you- never mind," she said, shoeing the thought away, "You want to hear my life story?" she smirked softly, fumbling with her finger tips as she prepared herself for the heartbreaking story.
"Always," he said in the most reassuring manner, as he looked over at her attentively.
"Okay," she said, exhaling harshly, "Well, okay. I joined this modeling agency, and it was the most perfect thing in my life. I loved it, and I happened to love the executive director even more," she looked up at him, hoping he wouldn't judge her, at the time when she was most vulnerable. She decided to continue nevertheless, "Everything was going fine. We got engaged- he was a total sweetheart. I was positive that I would spend the rest of my life with just him, you know?" she shook her head, with an almost laugh, "It was the most amazing thing, until work started becoming his biggest priority, and I kept nagging him about it and then he started to mess around with some pretty blonde behind my back, and if you can imagine, our situation got a little less pretty." She pressed her lips together uncomfortably, "So now I'm here, going to the cottage he bought for us which I took over, because I was so furious with him. And now I left everything behind once again, my mom, sister, my life and I have absolutely no idea where I'm going from here." She left off with a quirky shrug, "So that's the life of a model," she smiled distraughtly.
"Wow, and I thought gorgeous people had it easy," he said, trying to think of further comments. He lowered his eyes for a moment, before looking back at her. He took her fragile hand, into his palm, as he continued to stare into her eyes. She looked down at his hand, that was grazing her own so comfortably, and she gave him a questioning stare however he did not shift his hand one bit, "Any guy that doesn't appreciate you, for you, isn't worth your time."
Marissa looked away shyly. A second later, she turned to him abruptly, speaking with a new, bold tone, "And why's that? Because you want to get with me?" she said, melting underneath his gaze.
He smirked, "It'd be nice- but leaving aside the fact that you're absolutely beautiful and I'm completely drawn to you. I know it's an overused line, but seriously… if a guy can't love you for your wants, your desires, you overall, then he's really not the guy for you. If a pretty blonde can have more chemistry than you two ever did, than I'm not sure the exec director path is for you."
"See, but I don't know what he felt for her- I don't even know what he felt for me when I left. I left so soon; I have so many unanswered questions," she said quietly.
"Sometimes unanswered questions hurt less," he said serenely, keeping her hand firmly inside of his palm, "Even if you wanted to know, I barely believe this guy of yours would tell you honestly what was on his mind. He had the wit to screw around with another girl, and yet he'd still tell you the truth? I don't think so, Marissa," he spoke to her from the bottom of his heart. His words were so genuine, and truthful. Marissa was entirely mesmerized by the confidence in his tone, the finality in every word he spoke. She was feeding off his energy, his confidence, his warmness.
"It'd be nice to know," she replied softly.
"Sure, sure it'd be nice to know," he said convincingly, "It'd be nice to know the truth- but I don't know about you, but I still believe that this guy would give you anything but the truth."
"You don't know him," she said defensively, "I loved this man- I just don't know, what we had was precious,"
"I think you answered your own question," he said, nodding to himself lightly.
"What?" she asked, confusion rustling through her eyes.
"I loved this man. What we had." He simply said.
"Would you ever be able to say you loved someone after they had hurt you so bad?" Marissa whimpered quietly, blinking away her tears, "I just don't think you get it- get it at all. I'm not talking about some fight or argument. He cheated on me, Kristian. I still love him, but I can't ever forgive that." She said, shock almost brimming her voice.
"Don't get me wrong," he said, once she slid her hand away from him, "Please, don't. I've been cheated on before," he muttered, "And I know it's not easy in any sense, but just- you have to learn to pick yourself up from the simplest things. If you're ready to say that you loved him, and say it as a thing from the past, you should benefit from that, and help yourself from that."
Marissa shook her head lightly, "If you've been cheated on before, you know that even the simplest things aren't anything to be happy for," Marissa frowned, "I feel like I wasn't good enough. I felt so strongly for him, and it all just meant nothing. If it meant anything to him,then we would still be together- we'd still be getting married, and we'd still have our perfect, little, flawless lives."
"But you don't."
"Exactly." Marissa said, "Now you're finally starting to get it," she said, looking away for a moment.
"It's never easy in the beginning," he whispered quietly, "You've just got to believe that things get better, and that life doesn't end on your first love." Marissa winced, trying hard not to reply in a brutal manner. She took one single breath, and smiled gently.
"He wasn't my first love at all. There were men that I've loved much more than I've ever loved him, but those men are gone, and I've lost them."
"So you're settling?"
"Yes, actually," she shrugged, "Settling. Settling because I know that I'll never attain that great love again, no matter who I'm with, or what I do. Settling because I felt happy, I honestly did. I half-believed it was love, and then he pulled something like that."
"So really you're the cheater."
"Excuse me? You're really starting to annoy me with your short, smart-assy comments. You're supposed to be helping me, not pissing me off." She said coldly, as she looked at him curiously.
"You're the cheater," he repeated, this time with a brighter smile, and a happier expression. Marissa focused on him inquisitively, waiting for him to continue before she spurted out with another comment, "You didn't love him. He was just the other guy."
"He wasn't just the other guy," Marissa retorted, "I was going to marry him for God's sake. That means something, does it not?"
"You were going to marry him, because he was just another option that you happened to be madly infatuated with."
"It wasn't infatuation! Stop assuming so much crap. You don't know what you're talking about!" Marissa said, stepping away from the cold realization that he was probably right.
"I know a thing or two about a thing or two- so I'm told," he said, a satisfied smirk on his lips, "Hey, you don't have to admit that to yourself today, honey. It is hard to realize it altogether, let alone on the first day. One day, you'll look back at this conversation, when you're happily married with that guy, that wasn't option- that was your priority. You'll look back, and you'll tell yourself- Wow, how stupid was I to believe that I liked the exec guy."
"Please don't judge me," she said quickly, "You've got me all figured out- so you think," she raised an eyebrow, frustration evident on her face, "You don't know a thing or two about me, and you may think you do, but you're wrong. So like I said, don't judge me."
"Listen," he said, "Don't get so offended- it's not my problem you're so egoistical," he looked over at her tentatively.
"Excuse me? You know what? I'm sure I can enjoy my ride back in silence. I don't need to be having this conversation, thanks."
"Oh, right. Typical model that doesn't talk with un-model people," he tried to hide his smile, as he continued to press her.
"I'm not that shallow! I talked to you, didn't I?"
"Wow, how gracious of you."
"Ugh, shut up! " She said brusquely, calling over a stewardess immediately afterwards, "Excuse me, Miss, but are there any empty seats in the business class? I'm feeling a bit woozy up here," she said, shooting a glare at her neighbour.
"Oh I'm sorry, honey. It's a full plane. There's nothing I can do," she said apologetically.
"Fine," Marissa muttered grumpily, turning to Kristian, "You listen, you little know-it-all-"
"Great, we're getting all elementary school on each other," he chuckled.
"I'm not kidding. I want to ride back to Newport in peace, is that clear?"
"Crystal," he said with a smile. After a moment of satisfactory silence, he turned to her reluctantly, "Hear me through, and I swear to you that I'll leave you alone, okay?" Marissa turned to him, and nodded, turning her head back to that spot on the wall on which she was concentrating on earlier, "Okay, but look at me, because there are a few answers that you have to give me," he said, waiting for her full attention, "You're angry right now, because you've been dumped, right? Well then I just don't understand why."
"It's not the dumping part that kills me. It's the fact that he had to lie and be so dishonest with me, that I'm angry. He was going to send me to Newport, without telling me about his little fling there. Can you ask a stupider question?" Marissa turned to him, almost wondering where his point was.
"So, I reckon he was happy with you?" he asked, a comfortable smile against his lips.
"Obviously not if he cheated on me," Marissa said, urging him to hurry on with his discussion.
"So then, would you rather find that out after you two married?"
Marissa inhaled, "No, I wouldn't- is that what you were leading up to?"
"Actually, yes," he replied, "If you're going to mope around just because you found out the truth, then I really don't understand you. Some people would die for the truth, and only do they get it when it's too late. You're fortunate- you should understand that. Clear?"
Marissa thought for a moment, avoiding his gaze, "Crystal," she whispered, with a frown.
