Thank you to everyone for your wonderfully kind reviews. I can't tell you how much they mean to me.

And Jen, my dear friend and Beta-Reader, how do you put up with me? I've developed the annoying habit of changing my chapters AFTER you've Beta-d them! So thank you for checking this one twice! You're truly the greatest!

~O~

Cullen sat at the desk in his office, trying to catch up on his paperwork. He fidgeted uncomfortably in his chair; his body still ached from the duel, fought the previous evening. He looked down at his correspondence. He had been at his desk for more than an hour, and no matter how hard he tried, he could not concentrate on it. Instead, his thoughts kept turning to Gabby…no, the Warden-Commander. Thinking of her as Gabby would make her too…real.

He sighed heavily and rubbed his eyes and temples, as though the actions would somehow push her out of his thoughts, but everything he attempted proved futile.

At first, he tried prayer and meditation to clarify and focus his mind; when that didn't work, he opened some of his letters and tried to read them, which proved impossible, as they all appeared to be written in a foreign language. Eventually, he gave up and thought back to the time before he became Knight-Commander, when life had been so much simpler. Thinking about that was far more preferable than thinking of the present, and his humiliation and shame at recent events.

"Come in," he said quietly as a knock sounded at his office door.

The door opened slowly. The Warden-Commander stood in the doorway, wearing a moss green and cream robe. Her red-gold hair was worn down, and just skimmed her shoulders. It was shorter than he remembered. She hesitated and did not enter. Cullen immediately cast his eyes downwards.

"Am I disturbing you, Knight-Commander?" she asked warily.

"No," he said abruptly, then softened his voice a little. "How may I assist you?" he asked formally, choosing his words very carefully, his eyes firmly on his desk.

"I just thought I'd let you know that we have selected three of your Knights as potential Grey Warden candidates," she informed him, "and, with your leave, we'd like for them to accompany us back to Vigil's Keep."

"I thought Smyth was handling this," he muttered, absentmindedly shuffling a few papers around.

"Ser Smyth is off-duty," she reminded him, "and I thought you would want to know."

"Thank you," he said stiffly, desperate for her to leave.

She remained in the doorway. "I, um…I just wanted to say that there are no hard feelings about, you know...yesterday," she said softly, understanding why he had behaved in such a horrid manner.

What's she up to? he thought. Why does she even want to speak to me after what I said about her?

"And," she continued, "Nathaniel is my friend. In fact, he's like a brother to me," she added. "And a father, actually," she quipped, with a nervous laugh.

Why do I need to know this? Who's she trying to convince? he wondered suspiciously. What does she want from me?

"Well, that's all I wanted to say," she mumbled, toying with her fingers.

Cullen quickly glanced behind her; Howe was not with her. He noticed something glinting around her neck, and his eyes travelled to it briefly. It was a star-shaped pendant on a silver chain. He stared at it with his mouth wide open; then, suddenly realising what he was doing, grabbed a stack of letters and shuffled them, trying to look busy.

"Oh…this?" she said with surprise, looking down at the pendant. "Er, yes…I had it repaired."

She stood there for a moment, not knowing what to say. Cullen could feel her eyes on him and gulped, feeling irritated.

Why is she not leaving?

Gabby cleared her throat. "I, um…I suppose I'd better leave you to your work," she murmured, stepping back and closing the door.

Cullen stared at the door, surrendering himself to his memories as she departed, wishing that she'd stayed.

He stood in the draughty corridor, shifting nervously from foot to foot. The time was just after breakfast – the time of day she always passed by, on her way to her lessons. He would hear her singing or humming to herself long before he saw her; she had a beautiful voice, which he would carry around inside his head for the remainder of the day.

He removed a gauntlet and touched his forehead to ensure he wasn't perspiring, and smoothed down his hair, which he kept very short because it was naturally curly and became unruly when it grew too long. He touched his cheek and winced at the shaving burn there. He'd woken up late, and had hurriedly shaved using a blunt blade. She would notice, and would probably try to…touch it. An exquisite shiver ran down his back at the very thought of her hands being on him, and he took a deep breath as he attempted to calm himself.

He looked down the corridor and frowned. She was late. He sighed and looked at his feet, feeling a pang of disappointment. His day would be the poorer for not having seen her.

"You'd best be quick, Miss," he heard a voice warn from around the bend of the corridor. Gabby then appeared, flanked by two Templars. Her eyes were red and swollen. Cullen's stomach knotted painfully.

"What's going on?" he demanded.

The Templars stopped, as did Gabby. She stared at the floor, unable to meet his eyes. "She's got to get her things," one of the Templars replied. "She's to be out of here as soon as possible."

"Out of here? What do you mean?" Cullen asked sharply.

"Look, we can't stop," the other Templar said, glancing around. "We have to escort her to her quarters to fetch her belongings. We don't have time to explain. Greagoir wants her gone." As they continued up the corridor, Gabby burst into tears.

Horrified, Cullen risked Greagoir's wrath by leaving his post and following them. "Alright, you can tell me what's going on as we walk," he said to the other Templars.

"Cullen, what are you doing?" one of the Knights whispered.

"Just tell me!" he insisted.

One of the Templars dropped back a little. "She's got to go to Ostagar with the Grey Wardens," he mumbled.

"She's fighting with the King's army?" Cullen asked hopefully; that would mean there was a chance of her returning.

"No," the Templar replied. "She's joining the Grey Wardens. She won't be coming back," he said, understanding the meaning behind Cullen's question. "This is for the best, Cullen," he said pointedly, returning to walk alongside Gabby. Cullen's stomach lurched and his legs suddenly felt weak. He had to fight to retain his composure, and against the impulse to scoop her up in his arms and flee from the Tower.

As they approached her quarters, Cullen cut in ahead of his fellow Templars. "Give us a moment, please," he begged as Gabby went inside.

The two Knights glanced at one another. "Make it quick, then," one of them hissed. "Greagoir will hang us by our balls if he finds out!"

Cullen entered her quarters and closed the door. She had her back to him, her head in her hands. He stood there helplessly, his hand reaching toward her, yearning to touch her, then immediately retracting, as he feared the outcome of his actions. She turned around to face him, and the sorrow in her eyes broke his heart.

"I-I won't be coming back, Cullen," she stammered, her tone fractured and halting. She reached behind her head and unclasped her necklace; a simple silver chain with a star-shaped pendant attached to it. Cullen had always admired it. "I want you to have this," she whispered, pressing it into his gauntleted palm. "To remember me by."

Cullen felt a sharp, smarting pain at the back of his throat; his mouth slackened and his other arm hung impotently at his side. "I…I can't," he whispered.

"Please," she implored, closing his fist around the necklace with her hand. "I'm going to miss you so much, Cullen," she said, her voice breaking as she looked up at him with unshed tears in her eyes. "Seeing you in the mornings is the high point of my day." She turned her back on him so he wouldn't see her tears fall, and started to take items of clothing out of her drawers.

It's now or never, he thought, and took a step forward, taking hold of her arms and moving her round to face him. He took a deep, shaky breath, leaned down, and placed a chaste kiss on her cheek, tasting her salty tears as he did so. "Please stay safe, Gabby," he pleaded softly, pulling her into an embrace. There they stayed for several minutes, knowing they would never see each other again; the thought of it causing stinging tears to spring to his eyes. He pulled away from her. "I…I-I have to go," he stammered, his face contorted as he swallowed hard and turned away from her.

"I'll never forget you, Cullen," she promised as he opened the door and made a brisk exit. He would not let her see him cry.

He blinked several times as the reality of his office bled into his reverie. He took a deep breath and exhaled as he looked at his letters, one of which caught his eye; the Therein seal was embossed on the back of the envelope.

He took his letter opener, slit the envelope open, and slid the letter out.

Dear Knight-Commander Cullen,

It is with a full heart I write to inform you of His Majesty The King's forthcoming marriage to Miss Elissa Cousland, and I cordially invite you to attend. You will find dates and times at the foot of the letter.

I am sure that you must be very busy, but I know His Majesty would appreciate your attendance, as, of course you are aware, The King was once a member of your Order.

I look forward to seeing you.

Yours sincerely,

Eamon Guerrin, Regent to His Majesty, King Alistair Therein

Cullen frowned and read the letter again. Elissa Cousland? he thought, his eyes narrowing as an unpleasant churning sensation assailed his stomach. But I thought…

He leaned forward and put his head in his hands.

You were wrong about her, weren't you? You bloody fool. He shuddered inwardly at the thought of what he had said to her the previous day.

He closed his eyes and allowed himself to remember that memory. The one he had tried so hard to forget. The one he had continually pushed aside. He was suddenly so disgusted with himself he felt he deserved to relive it, he deserved the pain it brought him.

"It's over, Cullen. Uldred's dead."

He sat on the floor with his knees drawn up and his face buried in his folded arms. He felt a tiny hand gently stroke through his hair, and looked up into her green eyes. He flinched at her touch, and tried to inch away from her, but he was so weak he could barely move.

"Shhh," she soothed. "It's alright, it's only me."

The other Warden – Alistair – retrieved Cullen's skirt and draped it over his legs, as he was naked from the waist down. He looked at the five Templar corpses scattered around the chamber and glanced at Gabby, shaking his head. "We need to get him away from here, Gabs," he whispered.

Cullen's body started to tremble and his face twisted with anguish as he began to sob loudly. Gabby cradled his head in her arms and pulled him down onto her shoulder. "It's over, Cullen," she repeated gently. Cullen wrapped his arm around her waist and tightly gripped the back of her robe as he cried piteously against her neck. Gabby laid her head against his and stroked his face, looking up at Alistair.

"Let's get him out of here, Gabs," he suggested again.

Although Gabby's healing magic was poor, being a specialist in the school of Entropic magic, she guessed she could give him enough to get him onto his feet. "I'm going to Rejuvenate you, Cullen," she informed him as a faint blue light travelled from her hands to his face, then along his body, before dissipating.

The image of her, naked and gyrating atop him, laughing mockingly, flashed through his mind. He suddenly broke away from her and scooted backwards. "What are you doing?" he cried in horror, a wild and hysterical look in his eyes.

"I was just…" she began.

"Don't touch me again, mage!" he yelled, his eyes frantically darting around the room. Alistair shook his head and shrugged at Gabby, and offered his hand to Cullen, who took it; and pulled him up to his feet. Cullen then donned his skirt to preserve his modesty.

Gabby also rose to her feet. "Cullen?" she whispered, taking a hesitant step forward.

"Stay back!" he yelled, highly distraught at the sensation of her magic, which still lingered on his skin.

"She's just trying to help you," Alistair said with irritation in his voice.

"No!" he cried, backing away from them both, almost falling over one of the corpses. "She's been up there. Who knows what they did to her! Who knows what they put inside her!" he ranted.

"They didn't put anything inside her!" Alistair shouted. "I was there! You need to get a hold of yourself!"

"Oh, I have, believe me!" Cullen said harshly, nodding his head. "I've finally come to my senses! I used to think mages were people, like you and I, but they're not! They're evil and wicked and should be put down at birth!"

Gabby gasped and covered her mouth with her hands as tears slid down her cheeks. Alistair, furious, was torn between knocking Cullen out cold and comforting Gabby. Her anguished cry made the decision for him, and he gathered her into his arms, staring hatefully at Cullen, who made his way toward the steps leading to the Harrowing Chamber.

"Oh, and she can have this back," he sneered, as he reached under his coat of mail and roughly yanked at a chain around his neck, snapping it, and throwing it at Alistair. "I can't believe I once…" Cullen shook his head, his lip curled in disgust. He turned away and suppressed another sob as his face crumpled.

"Get out of here before I kill you, you bloody lunatic!" Alistair yelled at him.

"I'm going!" Cullen spat as he ascended the steps. "Just get her out of here! I never want to see her again!"

As Cullen entered the Harrowing Chamber, Alistair tenderly kissed Gabby's forehead and stroked her hair. He looked down to see what Cullen had thrown at him. It was a star-shaped pendant, on a broken silver chain.

Cullen stared coldly at Uldred's prone form as he closed the door behind him. He looked around the Harrowing Chamber. Everyone, including the mages, were dead. He took a discarded dagger from the floor and dropped to his knees beside Uldred's body, bringing it down furiously, stabbing at the blood mage's heart over and over again, a deranged and inarticulate cry filling the Chamber.

He finally collapsed onto his back, exhausted and utterly bereft. As he stared blankly at the ceiling, he realised that the deranged cry had been his own. He closed his eyes and allowed the silence and the shadows to fill him, and prayed for death to take him swiftly.

Cullen gritted his teeth and doubled over in his chair, wrapping his arms around himself as tears spilled from his eyes. "Maker help me," he wailed pitifully. "What am I going to do?"

~O~

"You lot must think your birthday and Feastday have come at once!" Gabby joked to the Templars in the training yard. "You get to do your favourite thing - attack a mage - without any danger of a demon popping out of me!" A ripple of laughter spread throughout the yard. The mood was relaxed and pleasant, and they had been blessed with fine weather.

"Ser Richardson," Gabby called. She and Nathaniel had been very impressed with him, and he had made it onto their shortlist of three candidates. "Let's see how you fare against some real competition," she teased, winking at Nathaniel, who stood with the Templars. He snorted and shook his head.

Ser Richardson removed his helm and stepped forward. "At your service, madam," he said politely, bowing to her.

Gabby smiled and bowed back. "Let's have a little contest, shall we?" she proposed. "Let's see how quickly you can dispel my casting. Don't drain my mana, though."

"Understood," Richardson replied.

Nathaniel watched with amused bewilderment as Richardson and Gabby appeared to engage in a curious dance of sorts, comprising a lot of jerky arm movements and occasional cursing from both of them. Now and again, a spark of lightning would appear between them, or Gabby's hands would become coated in frost as she attempted a spell; Richardson, however, was too fast for her, and the effects would disappear almost immediately.

"That's enough!" Gabby laughed. They halted their strange dance and Ser Richardson bowed to her again before returning to his fellows. Gabby raised her eyebrows and nodded ostentatiously at Nathaniel.

"Ser Ballard," she invited. A young Templar with dark brown hair and brilliant blue eyes stepped forward. Although he had not made it onto the shortlist, there was something about him that Gabby liked. He was quiet, shy and modest, and his swordsmanship was very promising, considering he had only recently taken his final vows. Gabby guessed him to be 18 or 19 years old. Although she had not voiced it to Nathaniel, he reminded her a great deal of Cullen, at least Cullen as he once was.

A few more Templars filtered into the yard, having just come off duty. Most of them still wore their helms.

"Same again, Ser Ballard," she instructed. He bowed shyly, a little flush creeping into his cheeks. Nathaniel grinned to himself. He's taken a fancy to her, he thought with amusement.

Ballard and Gabby began alternately casting and dispelling. Unfortunately, Ser Ballard was not as fast as Ser Richardson, and Gabby caught him on the arm a few times with a mild Lightning Bolt, although she did note that he bore the sharp pain very well. She called a halt and laid her hands on his arm, healing him. "Get a proper healer to take a look at that later on," she recommended.

The small crowd of Templars applauded him, and a couple of the older Knights ruffled his hair as he returned to them, grinning.

Gabby tested the other candidates on their dispelling abilities, and a few other Templars asked to have a go, just for the fun of it.

"And now," Gabby announced dramatically, "the moment you've all been waiting for. You get to Smite the mage!"

A good-natured cheer arose around the yard. "Ser Willoughby," Gabby called, inviting another of the three shortlisted candidates to join her. He stepped forward and bowed, unable to conceal his grin.

"You can wipe that smirk off your face, Ser Willoughby," Gabby chided.

"Yes, Miss," he replied cheekily, trying in vain to hide his amusement.

"Now, remember," Gabby reminded him, "not a full Smite. Just enough to drain my mana. I don't want to be knocked unconscious!"

"Nobody's going to knock you out with him around!" a Templar called out from the crowd, pointing to Nathaniel. Another laugh erupted. Nathaniel rolled his eyes and smiled crookedly. He walked over to Gabby and stood behind her in case she needed some support; the Smite would not affect him.

"Whenever you're ready," Gabby said to Ser Willoughby. He nodded, his expression becoming serious. What she had asked him to do was quite challenging; a full Smite was second nature to him, but a restrained one took much more effort and concentration.

He thrust his arms out toward Gabby as his palms began to glow. "Brace yourself!" he warned. A burst of white light left his palms and hit the ground just in front of Gabby, radiating outward like a ripple in a pond. She swayed a little and clutched her head; Nathaniel steadied her and Ser Willoughby ran over to her.

"Are you alright?" he asked, crouching down and looking intently into her eyes.

"I'm fine, just a little dizzy," she replied as Nathaniel handed her a lyrium potion. She drank it and gestured for another. Her head fell back against her shoulders as she felt warmth and vigour surge through her. "That's better," she nodded. "Very well done, Ser Willoughby," she commended him. "An expertly controlled Smite."

He bowed graciously and returned to his fellow Templars as Gabby took a few minutes. She and Nathaniel talked quietly as they considered Ser Ballard as a fourth candidate. Although he was young and had a lot to learn, they both agreed that he showed great promise, and, like the other shortlisted candidates, demonstrated an equitable disposition toward mages. They decided that if he performed well in the Smite demonstration, they would approach him with an offer to join the Wardens.

"Ser Ballard," she called. "Let's see what you can do."

The shy youngster stepped forward, trying to hide his nervousness, and silently praying to the Maker that he didn't hurt her.

"Whenever you're ready," Gabby said with a smile. "You'll do fine," she reassured him, sensing his anxiety.

Ser Ballard nodded and exhaled. He straightened his arms outwards toward Gabby, his palms facing outwards. A white glow radiated forth from his hands, and a burst of white light discharged from them to the ground. Gabby was hurled off her feet into Nathaniel's arms, who lowered her to the ground.

"Oh…" she groaned as she sat on her backside, clutching her stomach, "I think I'm going to be sick."

Ser Ballard's hands flew to his face. "I-I'm so sorry," he cried, clearly distressed at his miscalculation. "Is she alright?" he asked Nathaniel.

A helmed Templar suddenly broke through the crowd and seized Ser Ballard by his arms.

"That is the Warden-Commander of Ferelden, you cretin!" he yelled, slamming the terrified youth against a wall.

An uneasy silence fell over the training yard. Several Templars glanced at each other.

The Templar's voice, although muffled beneath his helm, was unmistakable. "Cullen?" Gabby mumbled blearily as Nathaniel poured a lyrium potion down her throat.

"You, and you!" Cullen barked, pointing at two random Knights. "Take him downstairs!" The two Templars reluctantly took Ser Ballard by his arms and led him away.

"You'll be alright, son," one of them whispered. "A week in the cells will fly by. Trust me, I know."

"Where are they taking him?" Gabby asked, struggling to her feet. "What are you going to do to him?" she demanded, turning to face Cullen.

Cullen, shaken by the intensity of his reaction to seeing Gabby in trouble, closed his eyes beneath his helm and concentrated on regaining control of himself. "That is not your concern, Warden-Commander," he responded loftily, turning his back on her and walking away.

Gabby ran ahead, shrugging off her dizziness, and stood directly in front of him, causing him to step back in alarm. "It was an accident!" she insisted. "He's done nothing wrong! What are you going to do to him?""

Cullen lowered his voice and leaned closer to Gabby. She could see his eyes glowing menacingly through his helm. "As I have just stated, Warden-Commander," he said derisively, "this is none of your business." He brushed past her and continued to walk away.

"We will either have this discussion in front of your men, Knight-Commander," she said acidly, placing her hands on her hips, "or we will have it in private. But we will have it!"

Cullen stopped walking. Gabby could see his tension in his hunched shoulders and balled fists. "Dismissed!" he ordered. The off-duty Templars turned and left the training yard. Only Nathaniel remained behind.

Gabby walked over to stand in front of Cullen. "Take that bloody helmet off!" she yelled, grabbing his helm and throwing it to the ground. It was all she could do to resist cuffing the back of his head. Cullen's face was blood red, and his eyes wandered to the side as soon as his helm was removed.

"Oh, so you're doing the 'I can't look you in the eye' thing again, are you?" she said with irritation in her voice. "Is that because you're ashamed of your actions? Because you should damn well be ashamed!"

Cullen gulped and stood stiffly, steeling himself as he attempted, and failed, to look her squarely in the eyes, hating that he felt so out of control when she spoke to him.

"What's going to happen downstairs?" she demanded. "Are you going to flog him?"

Cullen took a step back, his eyes finally meeting hers, finding himself unable to look away. "What?" he asked incredulously.

"Oh, I've heard all about your summary justice, Cullen," she simmered. "In fact, I suspect the reason we had such a response to our recruitment sessions is that most of your Knights are desperate to get away from you!" she seethed.

"It was Smyth, wasn't it!" he guessed incorrectly. "He told you!"

"No, actually," she said distastefully. "I haven't been able to turn a corner in this Tower without hearing mention of floggings. In fact, Ser Smyth is the only Templar I have met who has not yet spoken ill of you. You don't deserve his loyalty!" she stated firmly. "Now, I demand to know what you are going to do with Ser Ballard!"

"You are in no position to demand anything!" Cullen spat. "I have no intention of telling you anything!"

"Then you leave me with no recourse," Gabby said coldly, folding her arms. "I hereby conscript Ser Ballard into the Grey Wardens. You will turn him over to me immediately." Cullen gawked at her, his mouth and eyes wide.

Ser Smyth quietly entered the training yard; some of the Templars had informed him of what was happening. Nathaniel noticed his entrance, and walked over to join him.

"Conscript?" Cullen yelled. "Who the bloody hell do you think you are?"

"I am the Warden-Commander of Ferelden!" she reminded him angrily. "That is who the bloody hell I think I am! Now do as I say!"

Cullen was seized by a sudden impulse to grab her by the shoulders; his heart hammered against his breastbone as adrenaline coursed through his blood. He took several deep breaths in an attempt to master himself. I must stay in control! he resolved. I mustn't let her get under my skin again! She's a mage!

Gabby felt herself shrink slightly as the intensity of Cullen's gaze bored through her, his eyes twitching and his mouth set in a hard line. He lowered his voice almost to a whisper. "Take Ballard, take him," he seethed, pointing at Nathaniel, "and get out of my Tower."

This is for the best, he tried to convince himself. If she's gone, I can stay in control.

Gabby shook her head. "I'm not going anywhere until we've finished recruiting," she insisted.

Cullen's hands trembled as his emotions bubbled under, threatening to boil over at any moment. "There is no way in Thedas I'm going to let you have any more of my Knights!" he shouted.

"Then I'll just have to conscript some more!" she snapped back at him.

The two of them stood glaring at one another, both intransigent and unyielding. It seemed that neither of them would back down, and that soon something was going to give.

"Well, they're communicating, at least," Nathaniel remarked in a dry aside to Ser Smyth.

Smyth sighed and clasped the back of his neck. "That's one way of looking at it, yes," he replied.

Gabby's face softened as she realised that Cullen had been looking into her eyes during the whole exchange. Her mouth opened slightly as she inhaled sharply; she'd almost forgotten how beautiful his eyes were. Cullen, unable to look at her now she was no longer angry, averted his gaze, letting it fall to her pendant. He stared at it for a few moments, his eyes misting over as he appeared to recall a distant memory. Without another word, he quietly moved aside and walked away from her.

"Ser Smyth," he instructed as he left the training yard, "release the prisoner to the Warden-Commander."