Chapter 6: Am I losing it all?
"Oh God!" Jude looked down confirming her suspicion. "Blood?…Blood!.. ANDY!!" She screamed on top her lungs. "Help please help!" She began to sob, she knew what that meant, she could lose the one and only thing she had left of Tommy, she could be losing her baby. "Help me!" Jude found herself on the floor. Sobbing. This can't be happening.
She heard Rushed footsteps running towards the washroom. "Jude? Jude what is it? What happened? What's wrong?" Andy swung the door open, seeing Jude on the floor. He was shaking from the blood curdling scream he heard waking him from a dead sleep.
"Andy the baby, the baby, I'm bleeding help the baby…" She managed between sobs. Andy Quickly grabbed her up depositing her on the chesterfield in the next room. "Jude, Jude look at me ok. You have to calm down. I know your scared but you have to calm down." Jude nodded, as Andy turned dialing a number Quickly on the handset of the home phone.
"Dr Lochette, This is J-Jude Harrisons Fiancé, Something is happening. She's bleeding, she needs help."
Andy paced the floor, glancing over at Jude who was still sobbing.
"Okay Andrew I want you to listen to me. Talk to Jude. Calm her down okay, How badly is she bleeding. Andrew I need to know this information." The doctor tried to help him gather his thoughts.
Andy turned to Jude. "Jude baby, the doctor is on the phone, she, she needs to know how much blood?" Andy's voice shook with his words. Worry evident in his no longer sleepy features.
"Just, just some, but that's bad, Andy that's bad," Jude Sobbed. "Listen Jude, you need to calm down. Ok, the doctor says you need to calm down." Jude looked at him seeing everything but calm in his own face but she tried to calm down, she knew she had to.
Andy pulled the phone back to his ear. "How do you expect her to be calm? She said it wasn't a lot a lot, but how can she be calm? Would you be?" He was frustrated. How could anyone be calm in a situation like this, was this doctor nuts!? He thought.
"Andrew if she is not hemorrhaging there is nothing further we can do at this time. Bleeding is a sign of imminent miscarriage, the hospital nor I can do anything about it, If Jude begins to bleed extremely heavy then she has to go to the emergency room, but as of right now, I suggest you stay home and let nature take its course…." Andrew didn't let the doctor finish. "WHAT YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME RIGHT! SO WE JUST SIT HERE WHILE SHE HAS A MISCARRIAGE AND DO NOTHING ABOUT IT! WHAT KIND OF DOCTOR ARE YOU, YOU CRAZY BITCH!" Andrew shouted into the phone. He hit the button to hang it up, dialing another number. His mom….
"Mom I need your help," He was breathless almost. "Andrew what is it?" His mom alarmed. "It's Jude, the doctor is nuts, she's bleeding they say she is going to have a miscarriage but there is nothing they can do, and we just have to let it happen, mom sit here and let it happen!"
"Andy listen keep Jude calm okay, Lay her down, put her feet up, I'll be right over," She hung up before he could speak again.
"Jude sweetie, the doctor is nuts ok, I need you to lay down," Andy helped her lay back, placing pillows under her feet. "My mom is on her way, she had six kids, and I hope she can help baby I'm so sorry." Jude let the tears slide softly down her face afraid if she made any movements it would fair worse for her.
Sooner than the two had thought, they heard a frantic knocking on the front door. Andy jumped to get it, revealing his mom. She pushed past him into the living room where Jude had been laying down. "Andy move her to the bed." His mom commanded calmly. She and to be calm for Jude. "I don't care what that cracked up doctor says honey we are going to save this baby ok," She spoke softly to Jude. Jude nodded, then was lifted gently into Andy's arms, and carried to the bed, Where he carefully as possible set her down. His mom behind him, with arms full of pillows began placing them under her feet. "Jude honey I don't want you to move ok." She nodded in response. She watched as Andrews mother disappeared into the other room, only to come back with some towels. "Andrew I need you to leave the room for a minute ok. She might feel uncomfortable and we need to keep her as comfortable as possible at this moment. Actually I want you to do me a favour.." Jude honey how far along are you?" She looked to her first.
"I'm four months, just four months," Jude whispered. "Okay, sweetie."
She pulled something from her purse. A credit card. "Andrew I need you to go to Contec downtown and get a Fetal Doppler, I don't care how much it costs. A guy named Al owns the store now, if you have a problem with the credit card, Tell Al he owns the store, that you are Patricia Vought's Son, he will let you get it. And hurry." He didn't question her, he took the card and was out the door…
While Andy was out, Patricia, had helped Jude undress waist down. Placing the towels under her. "Sweetie we are going to try the best we can, I want you to pray hunni I know you don't want this to happen and neither do I." She soothed Jude as she helped her get comfortable as possible. She managed to help her with some water. Not wanting to give her any type of pain killers that could risk thinning her blood some.
Before they realized Andy barged back through the door. A bag in hand. He handed it to his mother, seemingly out of breath. "Hurry mom please, I want to know the baby is okay," He looked about to cry. "Andy I cannot keep Jude calm if you are a mess. I need you to calm down or find something to calm yourself down, she said as she took the Doppler out of the package, and assembled it, before turning back to Jude. Andrew had since ducked out of the room, to let his mom do what was needed.
Patricia turned to Jude, Helping her lift her shirt, "This wont hurt anything hunni, we are going to check for the babies heart beat." Jude nodded once again. As Patricia began ton run the Doppler over Jude's lower stomach, catching something she stopped, then moving it in closer slowly until she caught a strong heartbeat to the left. She smiled up at Jude, and turned the sound on the Doppler up.
"Listen sweetie," Jude smiled through her tears. "That's the babies heartbeat, and is a definite strong one. I have a hunch this doctor was way wrong Jude. We can't take any chances though sweetie, You need to stay like you are. Bed rest, completely." Thank you. Jude said through her tears. "Always sweetie, always. Now I know this is embarrassing, but I want to see if the bleeding has slowed." "Do anything you need to do, Mrs. Vought, I just need this baby to live."
After checking, Patricia covered Jude once more. "It's slowed down a lot sweetie, I think we may have a miracle on our hands, but no risks."
A few weeks had passed, and the bleeding stopped. Jude was being waited on hand and foot, making her feel vulnerable and uncomfortable. It would be different if Tommy were here. She wouldn't need help using the washroom, or be embarrassed with him. She tried her hardest to keep herself from being upset, but sometimes it was just to hard for her. She missed him so much, and why now was she living the life she hadn't wanted to. She needed him more than anything right now. Not that Andrew and his mother weren't sweet but couldn't they understand that she just could not get over Tommy, not now, not ever.
Andrew's mother had hooked Jude up with a great OBGYN, a doctor who actually acted like she cared about the welfare of Jude and her baby. Once the bleeding stopped, she'd started to see Dr. Lee once a week, placed on high risk, for the duration of her pregnancy. She was able to move around more now, being at 5 months pregnant this week she would go in for her first non high-risk procedural sonogram. She wasn't to sure if she wanted to find out the sex of the baby but she had to admit she was a little excited.
She went out today, not long, just back to her place to gather some of her old things, she knew she wasn't going back there. She wanted her notebooks, and photo albums. Knowing she couldn't do much she made sure not to take long, before she was back at Andrews, sitting on the bed, protecting her stomach with a small hand, as she flipped through a small photo album containing pictures from tour, and SME, g-major staff. She missed work now. As before she was unable to write but lately the words had swam through her head and she found herself up all night writing sometimes, and sleeping during the morning hours into the afternoon. She wasn't able to go back to work until after the baby was born. As much as she missed it, she knew she had to keep the baby safe. Or her life would be completely worth nothing.
Jude's breath caught in her chest as she came across a photo of her and Tommy. She was sitting on his lap laughing almost uncontrollably, as he laughed along. She missed seeing the glow in his eyes. Missed hearing his voice, hearing his laugh. She missed him holding her. Hell she missed him. She ran her finger gently over the picture, placing yet another memory in her heart, as she let silenced tears fall down her face. The man she loved, the only man she would ever love. She would never see him again. Why did she feel like she couldn't do this?
She let out a huff, and closed the album placing it gently in the box. She moved over to the stand, grabbing the Doppler patricia had bought and redied it, before placing it over the tiny bulge on her stomach. The sound of the baby always had a way of soothing her. She moved the Doppler slowly over the bulge until the heartbeat came though loud and strong. Moving to lay down on her side, careful to keep it in place.
She let her eyes wonder. "I wish you could hear this Tommy, this is our baby, can you hear her? I think It's a girl. I just feel it somehow. Isn't she strong Tommy. Can you hear her?" Jude talked to the air around her. She found herself crying once again. "I can feel her now Tommy she moves around. This week I have a sonogram, they said I can't find out for sure that she is a girl. We are having a baby girl Tommy I know it. I hope she looks like you Tommy, I hope she has your strength because god knows right now I don't have much…" Jude looked down, moving the Doppler away, turning the off button, she set it at her side. She braught her knees up and let herself cry, like she hadn't been able to in ages. She wanted Tommy to hear all those things but she knew he couldn't could he? "Tommy I miss you so much, I don't know if I can do this without you, I'm not as strong as you! I need you here Tommy, for the baby" Jude sobbed, trying not to choke. "I'm sorry Tommy, I'm sorry that I couldn't save you like you did me. I'm a bad person Tommy. I didn't know. I would have tried Tommy. I was too selfish or something to realize and now your gone, your gone forever…"
