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Chapter 7 : But what's left?
Nathan rounded the corner just in time to catch the tail end of Lucas and Brookes screaming match. Just like a ticking time bomb the words flew from Lucas's mouth, words that would change everything.
Guilt filled every inch of his body as Brooke turned and saw him standing there. Nathan was always talking about trusting each other and not having secrets, yet he'd kept this one.
Looking at her his mind went blank as he tried to think of something, anything to say to her at the moment. But no words came to his lips.
As tears formed in her eyes, Nathan looked down in shame and then felt her push him out of the way as she ran out the doors of the school.
Cursing himself under his breathe he gave Lucas a glare before turning around and running after her. "BROOKE!" he yelled trying to get her to slow down or acknowledge the fact he was chasing after her.
Picking up speed he managed to reach her as she unlocked her car door, positioning himself between her and the car he tried to explain.
Before he could have to react she was pushing him away and screaming at the top of her lungs. "GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME!" Her hands were slapping and shoving his away from her body.
"Just calm down" Nathan pleaded with her.
"CALM DOWN!? CALM DOWN?!" Her voice raised high at then end, in disbelief that he was speaking those words to her.
She never gave him a chance to respond before more words flowed. "So much for your complete honesty bullshit." A glossy shine started to cover her brown eyes. "You are just like everyone else… but worse… you're a complete hypocrite."
With that Nathan no longer knew how to react, there was nothing he could say because she was right. He'd given her so much shit for sleeping with Lucas and yet he'd lied about sleeping with Peyton.
After the daily gossip and laughter of what idiotic thing Tim had done that day, Brooke brought up a more serious matter. "So I caught Peyton staring you down in 3rd period."
Pausing she looked up to see if Nathan was paying attention. "What's going on with you two anyways… I thought you told me you were over her drama."
Nathan keep his eyes down, pretending to be reading something from the sports magazine in front of him. He went over all the possible answers, not wanting to confess that he'd had meaningless sex with her this past weekend.
They'd had a conversation just two weeks ago about the pointless hook-ups that really meant nothing. He'd decided that he was going to change and chill out on the random girls because he wanted to be able to have a real relationship sometime.
Looking up he just brushed it off, "Nothing, She's not over us...you know how she is." As soon as the words fell from his lips, he wished he could take them back.
The last thing he wanted was to be caught in a ridiculous lie where he really didn't need to lie in the first place but hearing Brooke tell him he could do better a few weeks ago made him want to change. He didn't want her to think he couldn't,
Turning round he caught her door before she had a chance to shut it. "Brooke… I'm sorry. It was stupid and I don't even know what I was thinking."
Soon her eyes glared up at him and he knew an 'Im sorry' wasn't going to fix this.
"Sorry isn't good enough. You made me feel like shit for not telling you the second I slept with Lucas. To this day you throw it in my face ever chance you get and you LIED to me about fucking Peyton… God knows what else you're keeping from me."
"Nothing Brooke! I promise!" Nathan spoke with utter honestly, willing to do or say anything to get her to understand and forgive him.
"Whatever" she mumbled under her breath before slamming the door and driving off, leaving Nathan standing in the middle of the parking lot.
--xXx—
Nathan had spent the last two hours outside of Brooke's hours, texting and calling her with no answer.
The more he opened his mouth, the worse things seemed to get. Why couldn't he just do the right thing for once and have the right answers.
Giving up he headed back towards his house, finding Haley James waiting for him there.
Shutting off his SUV, he got out and walked up to her, quickly trying to explain he wasn't in the mood to hang out or talk really. "Now's not a good time Haley."
"That's exactly why I came over, to check on you after the whole Brooke blow up…I mean if you ask me it's pretty stupid." The reddish brown headed girls said trying to cheer him up in some way.
"That's why no one asked you" he spat back. No one ever got their friendship. People were always saying they both over reacted to shit but it was all about trust.
And the last thing he really wanted to hear at the moment was someone telling him what was wrong about the one person he was missing the most.
"Gees I was trying to get you to chill out." The former tutor of his explained.
Nathan knew the only reason she showed up was to try and be friend him in some way, like it would make him trust her like he did Brooke.
"Look .. I get it, you're trying to help out in some way but Brooke's my best friend. It's always been me and her. People come and go but Brooke's always been there." Looking down at Haley he tried to explain to her how serious this situation was.
"So you forgave her for sleeping with Lucas… and you hated him. Her and Peyton are sorta friends so why would she care if you two were together?" The short, unattractive nerdy girl in front of him continued to go on.
"It's not about me and Peyton sleeping together.. It's about me lying to her about it. We promised never to lie and Brooke never lied to me about sleeping with Lucas.. I heard about it. There's a difference and wither it's a big one to you or not.. It is to Brooke and that's what matters."
"Well what are you going to do to get her to forgive you?" She asked curiously.
Nathan stood there wondering the same thing, Brooke didn't forgive easily.
--xXx—
The next day Nathan skipped school, he wanted to talk to Brooke but causing drama at school would only cause more problems for him.
Driving up to Tree Hill high around 4, he knew that Brooke would just be finishing cheer practice and he hoped to catch her right after so they could talk.
Pulling into the parking lot he spotted Brookes car along with a few other cheerleaders rides. Parking he got out and walked over to the bench outside of the gym doors and waited.
Minutes passed and Nathan could still hear the girls cheering inside, followed by Brooke's angry voice correcting them on all their flaws and telling them to repeat it again. She didn't sound too happy.
Within 10 minutes Nathan had over heard Brooke dismissing practice and watched as the other cheerleaders filed out the door, giving him dirty looks on their way. They all knew it was Nathan's fault that Brooke had been extra hard on them.
Giving it a few more minutes, Nathan made it to his feet as Brooke walked out of the door. He knew this wasn't going to be pretty but he was bracing himself.
"Hey" his voice cracked, it fell out just a hair short of a whisper.
With her hands on her hips and harsh look on her face, she cut right to the point.
"What are you doing here Nathan? We have nothing to talk about."
"Yes we do Brooke." He cut her off before she could get too angry and say hurtful things. "I don't want us to be on bad terms. You know you're my best friend. It was stupid and I never should have lied to you but the truth is I wanted things to change and part of that change was leaving all my mistakes in the past."
His head fell as he started down at the pavement in front of him, trying to hold back the tears forming in his eyes.
"So what about you… what guy is going to finally get you to settle down?" Nathan asked curiously lifting his eyes to meet hers. Nathan was curious what Brooke was looking for in a guy.
Sitting there silently for A moment Brooke looked like she was going over all the qualities in her head before repeating them out loud.
"I guess what I really want is to find someone who knows me in and out, someone who can know all my flaws and see past them to the good qualities." She paused for a moment again before looking up at him. "I want to marry my best friend, I want it to be someone understanding who truly loves me unconditionally."
Nathan was speechless, the only real part that registered in his head was 'I want to marry my best friend'. Brooke was everything he could ever want in any one and ever thought they were just 14 he knew there was no one else for him.
"You think guys like that really exist? I mean that perfect guy." Nathan corrected himself curious of her answer.
"That's the difference. I don't expect him to be perfect." Brooke corrected him sweetly before going off about the subject again in an adoring tone. "There's nothing exciting or interesting about perfect. If you don't fight and get mad then where is the passion and fire you feel for that person?"
"I guess that's a good point." Nathan agreed before daring to ask his next question. "Do you think someone will ever see that in me?"
Pausing longer this time, he could see the care and affection is her eyes as she placed on a smile at patted his shoulder. "Come on Nate, you have the biggest potential out of them all. You just have to give a girl a chance to see as a serious relationship type guy first."
"Look Brooke" Nathan finally got out breaking the silences between them and the lingering thoughts. "I am willing to do anything to have you in my life. I want to be a better person, someone worth fighting for.. and I'm not perfect and I know that but I am trying…Doesn't that mean something?"
"Yeah it means something Nathan but when are the actions going to follow the words. This.." Brooke began point at him. "This is my best friend but where was he with the truth when it counted? You could have told me long before now, tell me it was a mistake and getting over it."
His thoughts drifted to all the confusion he had about his feelings towards Brooke. Truthfully telling her meat he could have risked loosing her and he just couldn't allow himself to do that.
Tensing up, his mind and emotions were getting the best of him. All he wanted to do was come clean, get it all out, lay it all on the line.
"I don't know." He said in a whisper as he tried thinking of a better reason. "I guess because I should have stopped but I didn't and I didn't know how to turn everything around… and that scared me because I didn't want to disappoint you."
It wasn't a simple conclusion. Nathan knew there was more work ahead but with a simple nod it all seemed to come to an end. But what's left.
