Notes:I know its been such a long time since I've last updated! But I was facing a rough case of writer's block and didn't want to continue until I got my muse back on track! So here's a (rather short, but thick) chapter! hope you enjoy, and please, leave a review!

"This is all your fault," Dean grumbles, for what must be the hundredth time.

Castiel doesn't say anything, but he shoots the man a dangerous look, which Dean ignores. "You could've told me you didn't know how to swimbut no; you had to go all superhero and jump in the water..." Dean carries on muttering under his breath.

"You were the one who pretended to drown!" Castiel snaps back, childishly splashing water at his face.

"I'd be acting more apologetic if I were you, especially to the person keeping you from sinking."

"Oh wow, what a true hero you are Dean. What would I do without you? Hmm, maybe I'd be at home warm and dry instead of floating in the middle of the sea, cold and wet!"

"You were the one who couldn't even anchor the boat-"

"Only because I was too busy saving you-"

"Yeah what a fantastic job you did-"

"Yeah, I should've just left you for the sharks-"

"This is all your fault, Cas!"

"What was that Dean, mind repeating that again? I don't think I caught it the first few hundred times."

There's silence as Dean glares at Castiel who is unfazed and returns the look in equal intensity. They don't talk for a while when Dean speaks again uncertainly;"Hey Cas, why were you on that bridge that night?"

Castiel stiffens, the question catching him unaware. He doesn't know how to dodge it this time, and flails momentarily for a way out. Dean sighs, breath ghosting on his bare skin. "It's okay if you don't wanna talk about it, I'm sorry for asking you."

"It is alright."

Castiel can't help but think that the reason Dean keeps asking him such questions is that he's looking for an opportunity to share his story; to have some one listen to him. He's curious too, about the other man, so he asks, "What about you?"

Its as though a large weight has been lifted off of Dean's shoulder, as he takes in a deep, shuddering breath. "Oh, you know, the usual, cheating wives and such."

Castiel frowns. He can't possibly understand why anyone would be dumb enough to let Dean go, when they were so lucky to have him in the first place. "I'm sorry," he says, because he can't think of any other way to respond. He waits for a further explanation, because that doesn't seem to be the whole story.

"Lisa and I had been together since high school, and no one was surprised when we eventually got married," Dean elaborates. "We were happy. Well I thought we were happy anyway. But after a while, things changed, and we were drifting apart; there was nothing I could do to stop it. Then Ben was born, and I thought that things were getting better, Lisa seemed happier." Dean's eyes darken, with sorrow and anger, mixed into an emotion that Castiel thinks he can understand.

"What happened?" he asks.

" I came home early one day from work to find Lisa making out with my brother. I thought it was a one time thing, you know. But then Lisa told me that it had been going on for a very long time, years in fact. And if that wasn't enough to destroy, I soon found out that Ben wasn't even mine." Dean shakes his head, and Castiel can see a tear escaping from his eyes, running down his upturned lips. "I could've lived if I'd only lost my wife, but I also lost my son. My brother stole them from me, and now I've got no one."

Dean crumbles before Castiel's very eyes. There is no other way to describe how his shoulders have drooped, or the way his head hangs low, as though to hide his tears. Castiel feels anger thrumming in his veins, fury at the wife who betrayed Dean. and at the brother for casing Dean such pain. Castiel winds his arms tightly around Dean's waist and squeezes. It hardly counts as a hug, with both of them floating awkwardly in the water, but Dean rests his head on Castiel's shoulder anyway, and mumbles a thank you so soft, Castiel almost thinks he it didn't happen.

That's how the guard on patrol finds them, two men with their limbs tangled around each other, holding on as though the other man were a life saver. The guard quickly pulls them onto his speed boat, all the while admonishing them for their carelessness and stupidity. Dean doesn't talk back, or makes a smart-ass comment, which is how Castiel knows fro sure that something is wrong. The light in Dean's emerald eyes have extinguished, and throughout the journey back to land, Castiel desperately thinks of a way to get them to light up again.


Dinner that night is a quiet affair, with Castiel trying hard to initiate a conversation. Dean mumbles back one-word answers and soon, its just silence. Castiel wonders how he could have possibly thouht that getting Dean to open up would be a great idea. It seems that all it did open, was the gates to his long-suppressed grief. He doesn't know what to do, how to fix this. Instead, he hopes that a good night's sleep is enough to chase away the dark cloud that seems to be hovering over Dean.

Castiel should've seen it coming, when late that nigh, he wakes up to see the bed empty. He should've known what was coming, as his heart races and pulse quickens while he slams his shoulders against the bathroom door to break it down. He blames himself for not recognizing the signs as he clutches the lifeless body of Dean on the bathroom floor with and empty bottle of pills rolling innocently beside them.

"Dean!" he shouts, shaking the unconscious man, almost as hard as how his heart is beating right now. Hoping against hope, he slaps him hard across the face, praying that it would rouse him. A tensed few seconds later, Dean's eyes flutter open, and he mumbles incoherently. Castiel wants to scream in joy, but instead, he frantically asks, "How many did you take?"

Dean smiles bitterly at him, "Not enough," he croaks.


Castiel decides right there and then, that he's not going to let Dean die. Not now, not in twom months, not ever. He doesn't care about the pact any more. Instead, he makes a new one with himself; a pact to make Dean live.

A/N:I have nothing against canon Sam at all! I absolutely love him, but for this part of the plot to work, and to have Dean completely destroyed, it has to be Sam to do such a thing. So, sorry, Sam! Also, this has been posted in archive of our own, with the same name!