So this one is my personal favorite. My friends got mad at me for writing it when I posted it on tumblr. Ehehe. So, NaLu week day 5: Firsts


""Cause that day, you walked out of my life; 'cause that day, your words felt like a knife." -"Like a Knife," Secondhand Serenade


She'd been on his case about it for days.

Natsu huffed, doing his best ignore the sly grin the blond was giving him. How could she possibly think that? Okay, so Lisanna was a good friend of his. So? That didn't mean anything except that they were just that; friends. It was like saying that Freed and Evergreen were probably going to get married or something because they'd been friends since they were kids. It was ridiculous. Lucy seemed to be the only one in the entire guild who thought that Natsu and Lisanna were lovebirds.

He didn't dare glance back at Lisanna to see if she was as annoyed as he was. If he did, the Celestial Wizard sitting across from him would get the wrong idea, no doubt. He did love Lisanna, yes, but not like that. She was like a sister to him, and after not seeing her for two years, things were different. They'd both grown and changed and while they were still friends, Natsu simply wasn't as close to the takeover mage as he used to be. He wouldn't say that Lucy replaced Lisanna, because although he was originally drawn to Lucy because she reminded him of the friend he lost, the two girls were very different people and he couldn't compare them to each other because it would be like comparing an apple to a…giraffe, or something really weird like that. No, nobody replaced anybody, but Lucy did now fill the role of the hot-headed Dragon Slayer's best friend that Lisanna had once occupied.

Yes, Lucy was his best friend…among other things.

"Why don't you just tell her?"

Natsu scowled, remaining unresponsive. He did not, in fact, have feelings for Lisanna, but he couldn't exactly tell Lucy that and have her believe him, because she'd probably ask for an explanation, at which point, there would be more conflict for the already conflicted Natsu. If he dodged the question and said something like "I just don't," or "she's like my sister," Lucy would be even more convinced that she was right. If he told her the truth, that being "actually, I have feelings for someone else," she'd try to find out who. And that couldn't possibly be good for their current relationship.

Damn nosy woman.

"Are you going to answer me?" Lucy tapped her fingers impatiently on the tabletop. "Well?" Natsu shot her an irritated look. "No," He grunted. Lucy raised an eyebrow. "No what? No you're not going to tell her, or no you're not going to answer my question?"

"Second one."

Lucy mirrored the scowl that had been plastered to Natsu's face seconds earlier. "What is up with you? Do all Dragon Slayers get this mad when someone calls them out on their feelings for someone?" Natsu looked her dead in the eye, his expression far too serious for someone as typically wild as him. "No, we don't," She opened her mouth to protest, but he cut her off. "But I'm pretty sure most people don't like being accused of having feelings for someone when they don't."

"Especially not by the person they actually do have feelings for,"He thought bitterly. And he thought he was supposed to be the dense one! Had shereally not noticed his advances? Or was he just not being obvious enough? That couldn't be the case; Lisanna, Mirajane, Erza, Gray, and, come to think of it, pretty much the entire guild except Lucy had him figured out. Now, why couldn't the object of his affections figure out that she was, indeed, the object of his affections? Did he have to say it straight up? Was he going to have to go up to her and say "Lucy Heartfilia, you oblivious weirdo, I'm in love with you, so take it or leave it"? Because there was absolutely no way he could do that. Despite his boisterous personality, Natsu was shy when it came to girls and relationships and love and everything else associated those things. Igneel never taught him how to deal with that. Great, wonderful; thanks a bunch, Igneel, real helpful. As much as he wanted to, there was no way in hell he could say anything to her. Or to anyone. Everyone else had simply figured it out on their own.

Why Lucy hadn't was a permanent mystery.

"Don't you lie to me, mister," Lucy eyed him carefully, her voice low. "I'm not stupid, you know. I can see it from a mile away. You love her." Natsu rolled his eyes. "Actually, you are pretty stupid, because if you weren't you would have figured out by now that it's not her I have my eye on, stupid," He thought irritably. He realized it was a good thing he didn't usually think out loud as he replied. "Fine. I give up. Believe what you want, that don't mean its's true." Lucy smirked, leaning across the table to jab him in the chest. "So you do love her. Ha! I knew it."

"I never said that."

"Oh really? That blush is telling me otherwise."

Suddenly, Natsu realized that he was indeed blushing, which only made him blush harder. Why the hell did she think he was blushing over Lisanna? Didn't she realize that they were in very close proximity and he could see right down the front of her frustratingly low-cut top, which she was practically falling out of, for crying out loud, when she leaned over the table like that?

….Fuck. Why'd he have to think about that? Now he couldn't stop staring.

"I'm blushing because you're putting me on the spot," Natsu lied, spitting out the first thing that came to his mind. He stood up then, embarrassed and irritated. "Bye, Luce," He muttered as he sped out of the guild before she could say anything else.

He sighed, thumping his head on the outside wall of the guild.

"Why do feelings even exist?"


"You like her."

"No."

"Yes."

"NO!"

"YES!"

Natsu spun around to face her, and Lucy stopped in her tracks. "No," He growled through clenched teeth. "I do not have feelings for Lisanna." It had been a day since Natsu had fled from the guild, annoyed and flustered, and Lucy was still hellbent on pretending he had feelings for Lisanna. They had stayed at the guild late; it was dark as they made their way back to Lucy's house (Natsu didn't feel like going back to his own house only to end up at hers later on that night). Despite the darkness, Natsu could read Lucy's expression, and it irked him. He wanted her to be shocked that he'd snapped at her, because maybe then she'd stop harassing him about feelings that didn't exist. Instead, she looked infuriatingly smug, as if she was accepting a bet she knew she'd win. "Wow, Natsu, you're protesting quite a bit. Denial, maybe?" She quirked an eyebrow, smirking that same annoying smirk she'd been using on him all week. "No! You're just pissing me off!" He spat, his temper threatening to boil over. She narrowed her eyes at him, her temper beginning to flare as well. "Well, Natsu, maybe if you'd stop being such a child and admit that you have a little crush on Lisanna,I'd leave you alone!" Natsu scoffed. "Oh! Oh, I'm a child? I'm not the child here, you are! You won't listen to me! You won't just fucking leave it alone! And you're calling me a child, while you're the one being little miss 'I know everything'?!" Natsu glared at her, his anger reaching a peak. "You want me to admit something? Fine, I will. I'll admit that you're wrong, I do nothave feelings for Lisanna, and there's a very valid reason for that!"

Natsu paused, realizing that he'd taken a few steps forward and was now towering over her, his jaw set and his eyes blazing. Lucy took a step back, her expression cautious. "Okay…" She began slowly. "What…would that reason be?"

Natsu groaned, still frustrated and not thinking rationally enough to calm himself down.

"Really? You have to ask me why I don't have feelingsfor another girl?You have got to be fucking kidding me! You say you're not stupid, Luce, but you sure are acting it. I've been obvious enough; everybody else has caught on! Why do you think I turn into a blushing idiot around you sometimes? Why do you think I do everything I can to make you feel better when you're sad or angry or scared and come to your defense when other people look down on you? Why do you think I'm so protective of you? Why the hell do you think I sneak into your house andsleep in your damn bed with you?!Do you think I'm too stupid to understand the implication or something?! I'm supposed to be the dumb one between the two of us, so why don't you get it?"

Lucy stared at him, her eyes alight with shock and confusion. "Natsu, what are you—"

She was cut off by Natsu pressing his lips forcefully against hers.

Natsu pulled away after a few seconds, his hands still on either side of her face. Their noses were almost touching, and he could feel her breath mingling with his. He looked at her from behind heavily lidded eyes, awaiting a reaction. She said nothing, but stared up at him, her eyes wide and her mouth slightly agape. "Well?" Natsu breathed, slightly impatient but calmer now, watching as she lifted her fingers slowly to her lips. "Do you get it now?" Lucy spluttered, not looking him in the eye. "Natsu, I…I don't…I…"

"Oh…"

"Sorry."

Lucy gasped when Natsu all but pushed her away from him. "I get it. You don't feel that way about me. That's fine. I shouldn't have done that without your permission." He began walking in the opposite direction, toward his own house. "Natsu, I—"

"Don't, Lucy."

She stopped, lowering the hand she'd been reaching out to him. "W-what?" He sighed, his voice low and serious. "Just…just don't. Don't try to explain; I get it. You had it figured out all along, didn't you? You knew and you kept bugging me about Lisanna because there's someone else and you wanted me out of the picture. You aren't stupid. Just a really good actress," Natsu bit his lip. "I'm sorry I said anything."

"Natsu—!"

"I'll see you at the guild."

And with that, he hurried away.

When he stormed into his house, Happy was nowhere to be found. The little blue Exceed was probably out with Carla and Lily, he thought. Good. No one was there to see Natsu slam the door shut, snarling, or nearly punch a hole in the wall, angry tears welling in his eyes. He should never have said anything. He'd been rejected and humiliated and probably fucked up his relationship with his best friend so badly that nothing would ever be the same between them. As far as he knew, it was hard to be "just friends" with someone you'd fallen stupidly in love with who didn't feel the same about you. But he wanted to keep Lucy in his life, no matter what. That was going to be a problem. He growled furiously, clawing at clumps of his hair as if preparing to tear it all out. Why was he so stupid? Lucy was brilliant and clever; he should've known she'd figured him out and had something up her sleeve.

And more importantly, why hadn't he thought about that before he so impulsively wasted his first kiss on someone who didn't want to kiss him back?

Natsu flung himself onto his bed, not bothering to change into pajamas (his only good pair were still at Lucy's anyway; he'd been staying there so often he'd unintentionally moved some of his things over there. Now he'd have to go and get them. Joy). He was angry, tired, ashamed, and most of all, hurt. The last thing he remembered thinking before fatigue took him prisoner was that Lucy was probably after someone else, and that guy, whoever he was, had better treat Lucy Heartfilia like a fucking queen, because if he took one wrong step he'd be on Natsu's hit list in a matter of seconds.

He wouldn't know until some years later that he was that guy, and that Lucy, angry with herself for her misinterpretation and for not kissing him back or telling him that she felt the same, had cried herself to sleep that night, cursing herself for ruining their first kiss.


I'm really not sorry at all. Welp.

Thanks for reading :D