The Dragons' Convention Chapter 07

"I've got a question!" the Reluctant Dragon exclaimed, waving his hand.

"Oh, not another completely irrelevant question," Smaug muttered. Reluctant didn't hear him.

"When you ate that algae – you know, the stuff that the Frightmare likes – what did it taste like?"

Toothless licked his chops. "Oh, that was some seriously good stuff! It was savory and provocative, with a slightly smoky bouquet, layers of cherry and seasoned mutton, and an aftertaste reminiscent of avocado with a touch of oregano."

The Reluctant Dragon scowled. "You're mocking me, aren't you?"

"Seriously, it wasn't very appealing," Toothless went on. "I ate it because I was curious; I figured, if one dragon liked it, then it must be good, right? Wrong. My system is made for eating fish, and I think that includes my taste buds. I mean, it wasn't gross or disgusting, but it's not something I'd ever want to eat again. Besides, it lit me up like a Fireworm, and that's bad for a dragon who's supposed to be invisible at night."

"Maybe it's an acquired taste," Ruth suggested.

"Then the Frightmare can acquire it! All of it!" the black dragon retorted. "Frighty, if you're listening, then as far as I'm concerned, you can have all the algae. I gave it up for Ascent, and I never took it back."

"Ascent?" Trogdor wondered. "Don't you mean Lent?"

"The dragons of Berk don't celebrate that holiday," the Night Fury said firmly. "We ascend and descend in the air, so we have two holidays, Ascent on the day when the sun is highest in the sky, and Descent when the sun is lowest."

"And what do you do on those holidays?" Ord wanted to know.

"We fly, eat, and sleep," Toothless replied. "Except for the Gronckles and the Hotburples, who celebrate those holidays their own way; they sleep, fly, and eat. That's different from ordinary days, when we eat, sleep, and fly. Nothing really changes, but it's fun to make one day special now and then. The Vikings do it all the time; they'll make up any excuse to get drunk, sing battle songs, spill ale all over the floor, get into fist fights, and pass out before they can draw their weapons. I'll take the dragon version any day."

Kalessin pointed with a wing. "I think Spike has a question?"

"Yes," said the little purple dragon. "I'd like to know if you think you're the cutest dragon ever?"

Another little purple dragon, Spyro, nodded firmly. "Yeah! What do you say to people who think you look more like a cute little puppy than a terrifying dragon?"

"I say this!" Toothless responded with a vicious, toothy snarl; Spike backed off a step, while Spyro braced himself for an attack. But there was no attack. Toothless relaxed and assumed his normal expression. "I can make cute faces when I want to," he began, "and sometimes it's to my advantage. But that isn't the real 'me.' I'm the unholy offspring of lightning and death itself, remember? Those fangirls who want to turn me into a black, winged teddy bear are totally missing the point. The thing that makes me awesome, and which makes my friendship with Hiccup awesome, is that I'm a night-flying death-dealer who chooses to be Hiccup's friend. I'm kind to other Vikings for Hiccup's sake, not because I've been tamed and I've gotten all the violence out of my system." He pulled himself into a regal-looking pose. "I am a Night Fury! I am not a Chihuahua! I am not a pet, or a domesticated animal! Don't ever forget that."

"Speaking of domesticated animals," Tabaluga cut in, "what do you think of animals like those?"

"What do I think of them?" Toothless seemed confused for a moment. "Well, they have their uses, I guess. Stormfly thinks the chickens are great, although I don't see the appeal. There are days when I wonder why the Vikings don't get rid of all that livestock and focus on us dragons instead. After all, you don't see the Vikings doing yak racing, or starting a Sheep Training Academy. But then I remind myself that the Vikings need milk and wool, and dragons aren't so good at making those things. We're even less good at making steak and bacon." At the mention of the word "bacon," most of the dragons began to salivate.

"Anyway," Toothless continued, "I don't see the other animals as competition. None of them could ever compete with a dragon anyway!" That brought a few roars of approval from the other dragons.

"Well said," nodded Kalessin. "Zak and Wheezie, did you have a question?"

"No, we were just stretching," Wheezie answered.

"But I think Jake has a question," Zak added.

Jake Long nodded. "I hope this isn't a painful question, but do you know what happened to your parents?"

"Of course I do," Toothless replied casually. "Lightning is in Tampa Bay, Florida, playing hockey for the NHL, and death itself is attending a death-metal concert in Stockholm." He paused; no one reacted. "Well, somebody would have smiled if Hiccup had said something like that! Anyway, I know that's not what you meant. I never met my father, and my mother sent me away in my third year, as soon as I could take care of myself, so the humans wouldn't get a chance to kill both of us at once. I never saw her again. I have no idea if either of them is alive or... or not."

"Would you like to try and find them some day?" Jake wondered.

"If I had any clue where to look, then yes," the Night Fury said. "We – I mean Hiccup and I – thought we found a clue once, but it turned out to be an Outcast trap, so we're going to be very careful if we find another clue. But in the meantime, I'm content with my human. He's all the family I need."

"Okay, next question," Kalessin cut in. "The sun is starting to go down, so we need to wrap this up."

"Why?" Toothless asked. "What's the hurry? Do you think I can't function at night or something?"

"That makes me think of a question," Elliott jumped in. "You're a Night Fury. How often do you go for night flights, now that you need a rider?"

"Not as often as I used to," Toothless answered easily, "but more often than you'd think. I know Hiccup lives on a day schedule, so I wake him up early each morning so he can spend as much of the day awake as possible. I know he appreciates that. But when he's got something on his mind and he can't sleep, his usual response is to saddle me up and go for a long, easy night ride. For some reason, that helps him think, and it also helps him relax. As soon as I hear him say, 'That's it!' or 'I've got it!' that means our ride is just about over. But you won't hear me complain!"

"An easy night flight?" Shenron repeated. "Nothing crazy? He does not let you fly any way you want?"

"I get my crazies out of my system during our morning flight," the black dragon said. "He doesn't frustrate me in the air; I have no complaints. That's one reason we're so good for each other. If Fishlegs had befriended me instead of Hiccup, now that might have been frustrating! The one time Fishlegs had to ride me, he had the nerve to ask, 'Just give me the Night without the Fury!' Of course, I had to show him who was the boss, and once he understood that, we worked well enough together. But can you believe it? 'The Night without the Fury!' As if that would ever happen!"

Shrek-Dragon raised her wing. "That raises a question. You've mentioned Fishlegs as a rider. What would have happened if one of Hiccup's other friends had found you first?"

Toothless shivered. "If you mean during wartime, then I wouldn't be here. There's no question of that. The only way I might have survived would be if the twins had found me, and they'd fought each other for the privilege of killing me and knocked each other senseless. But if they'd befriended me in peacetime? Let me think.

"Astrid? She and I might have made a decent team. She likes flying fast and doing tricks, and she likes to be the best at everything, so a dragon who is the best at everything wouldn't be a bad fit for her. The only possible problem is that she wants to give all the orders. Hiccup lets me think for myself; neither of us is dominant in the relationship. Astrid and I would probably butt heads a lot when it comes to problem-solving, and that would be frustrating.

"Fishlegs? Doubtful. Like I said, he likes to fly straight and level; we'd drive each other crazy. Meatlug is a perfect match for him. He does allow her to think for herself and do what she's best at, so he and I would make a decent team in a crisis. But on a day-to-day basis? Forget it.

"Snotlout? Not a chance. He wants to dominate his dragon, the way a Viking would rule over a pony or a dog. Snotlout wouldn't want to listen to me or relate to me; he'd want to own me. I'd buck him off in five minutes.

"The twins would love the kind of flying that Night Furies are best at. I could have some fun with them in the air. But it's more than flying together; it's really about relating together. The twins would never bond with me because they're so bonded to each other. And, I admit, I'd have a hard time being patient with their endless fighting and one-upmanship. That relationship would never work. I'm glad I got the rider I did; things could not have worked out any better."

"We're all glad to hear it," Kalessin nodded. "Who else has a question for our Most Loved Dragon?"

o

A/N
The questions in this story came from Paranbyol, movielover48 and NatBlake, MM, Dragon Lord Draco, Mikowmer, and Cke1st. I still have a few unanswered questions in my inbox; if you send more, I'll see about answering them.