Author's Note: This chapter is the first of a few that will reveal some of Ravenna's past. Thanks to everyone who's added this story to favorites lists or alerts. It makes my day. Know what else would make my day? Reviews! Come on, now. It doesn't have to be nice, I'm really looking for feedback of any kind. Thanks and enjoy.
Ravenna waited in her room. She was certain Alistair would show up soon, she was a little surprised he hadn't already. She sighed wearily, not wanting to have to go looking for him. A little longer, she reasoned. He'll be here soon, and probably as upset with me as he's ever been. She was sitting in a chair by the over-large window. Denerim didn't provide the best of views, but the sunset was breathtaking. There was no fire lit in the fireplace, though the nights were starting to grow cold enough to warrant one. This time of year always drew her into painful memories. She allowed her thoughts to drift and found herself wondering if she would ever be able to share more of her past with Alistair, or if she would truly be alone with her memories the rest of her life.
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Harvest feast was but a few nights away, and Ravenna was excited. She was finally old enough to attend the feast and festivities of the holiday with an escort. Ravenna knew what some people thought of her, that since she tried so hard to be a proper lady, she must be stuck up and arrogant. She suspected her own family thought her too prideful for the request she was bursting to make of her recently-returned father. She'd been asked to attend the feast with a boy from Highever Town, and she couldn't wait to receive permission. Father would be proud of her for not being too proud, and when he met Torrin, he would see that even though he wasn't nobility he was good and kind enough that he should be.
Bryce Cousland had just returned home from patrolling with the Highever guard. It was a task he insisted a Cousland should take part in whenever possible. Soon, he would be willing to send Fergus with the guards on his own, perhaps even as commander, but for now it meant Bryce was often on patrol. With the harvest underway he had too much to do and the prospect of a son to take some of the burden was a welcome thought. By next year, perhaps. He was tired, and he could see Elanor was trying to discourage Ravenna from 'pestering' him but he surely had energy to give his daughter the attention she was seeking. "You look fit to burst, Pup." He swept her into his arms for a hug, and kissed her cheek, "What's on your mind, sweetheart?"
"Oh, Father, it's the Harvest festival! I want so much to go with Torrin. You haven't met him, I don't think, but his father's a carpenter in Highever. He asked me if I could go with him when he was here on a delivery. He said I was the prettiest girl he'd ever spoken to and I know he's a commoner, but he's smart and kind and much more gallant than any other boy my age. Please, may I go with Torrin?"
"What's this? My pretty pup wants to be seen on the arm of a boy from town? What about Thomas Howe?"
Ravenna pouted, "Thomas doesn't even like me, last time he was here he stole my hair ribbons and wanted to do nothing but practice swordplay and things just like Fergus. Please, Father, don't make me go with him, I want to go with Torrin from town."
"Sweetling, it would not be appropriate for you to be escorted by Torrin, but you may invite him to the festivities at the keep, and you may even invite him to attend the feast in the main hall."
Father clearly didn't understand how serious her request was, on top of that she hated being called "pup". It didn't make sense and it surely didn't suit her. Father knew it, but he still always used the silly nickname, even when there were people listening. She stole a glance at her brother to see if he was laughing at her. It seemed like he was trying hard not to. Tears began to prickle at her eyes and she felt herself blushing.
"There now, lovely girl. No need for that." her father soothed when he realized the pout on his daughter's face was about to give way to tears. Where did this fragile little creature come from? Her mother was tough and fierce in her way (yet not unladylike, never that), yet this daughter was as dainty and delicate as they came. It left him feeling like a blundering fool, though he loved her dearly and tried his best to please her. "I'll give it some thought, and speak to your mother about it." Her face lit up and he sternly amended, "That is not permission, young lady. Until you hear otherwise, you are going with Thomas, or without an escort."
She threw her arms around him, "Thank you, Father. I know you'll like Torrin as much as I do, I can't wait until you meet him." She beamed at him, clearly she thought she had already won.
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Despite her sense of triumph, she was not allowed to attend the Harvest festivities with Torrin. She was hardly able to see him at all, and Torrin seemed to be a little upset with her. Ravenna had always been a good girl and a dutiful daughter, she never disobeyed and rarely even wanted to, but she began scheming for ways she could see Torrin more than for a few moments when he made deliveries. She wasn't even sure what he was delivering, to be honest, and she was simply glad the guards kept letting him into Highever Keep.
With Torrin's encouragement, she was able to find a way out of the keep. And it was just in time, too. Torrin told her that his father was no longer going to be employed by the Couslands, so obviously he wouldn't be able to come to see her anymore.
The first snow of the season had fallen, so she dressed warmly. She even packed a few things to eat and a small bottle of last year's cider. Father would be very cross if she was caught, it was entirely inappropriate for her to be planning to spend the day with Torrin unchaperoned, and she wasn't allowed to drink more than one watered cup of wine or cider with dinner on special occasions. Torrin was worth the risk, though. He was handsome and strong and she thought he probably was in love with her.
It was easy to filch the cider and other things, her way out was a tunnel that opened in the larder. She quickly made her way out of the hidden passage. She kept the location of the exit secret even from Torrin, giving away that secret was far worse than sneaking out with a boy and drinking cider. She was going to meet him at a shepherds' cottage not far away. It was abandoned this time of year, so they would have shelter and privacy.
Her stomach was fluttering and she had never been so nervous, except maybe sometimes when she was studying the Chant of Light and she thought about how great and powerful the Maker must be, but that was a different kind of nervous.
She wondered if Torrin would want to kiss her today. Even just thinking about that made her blush. She hoped she wouldn't disappoint him. Before she knew it, she was at the door of the cottage. There was a thin curl of smoke rising from the chimney. She didn't know if she should knock or not, but she decided she must in case it wasn't Torrin within.
She removed her mitten and rapped on the door three times. The door opened almost immediately, and Torrin was there grinning at her with his crooked smile and his dark hair falling into his eyes. The butterflies in her stomach started fluttering even more, but she didn't feel nervous now, just excited. He was so handsome, this was going to be such a perfect day.
Inside the cottage it was warm, they sat on a blanket spread on the floor, for the cottage had little furniture. They shared the food she brought along and sipped at cider straight from the bottle, they talked about all sorts of things. Torrin sat very close to her and told her how pretty she was. After a few sips from the bottle he stole a kiss. It was every bit as delightful as she hoped, and soon they weren't talking much, just kissing. Eventually she realized she was feeling a bit dizzy and starting to get sleepy. "Tor, I think I need to go home. They'll miss me if I'm not back before dinner..."
He smiled at her strangely, "Ray, it's been hours. I think you're late already, and I don't think you could find your way back in the dark."
"Oh dear! Mother will never let me out of her sight again, I have to get back... Oh!" She tried to stand up too quickly and tumbled back to the floor. The cider really had gone to her head, how would she find the passage entrance when she couldn't even stand up? Tears prickled at her eyes, what a mess she'd made of things.
"You can stay here with me, when you're feeling better you can go back. Your family is too controlling, they deserve to be taught a lesson, don't you think? They can't tell you who's good enough for you and who's not, can they?" His voice seemed harsh, and it frightened her a little, but she told herself it was just that he didn't like how people always tried to tell her what to do. He was trying to protect her, that was a good thing.
"Do you think so, Torrin? Could I really stay here for a while longer?" She had misgivings about letting her family worry, but she didn't want to leave and she didn't know if she could get back the way she came on her own, and she still couldn't let him find out about the tunnel. If he thought it was alright to stay a little longer, she would trust that it was.
Torrin put his arms around her, "Of course you can, Ray. I can even think of a few ways to pass the time." He grinned roguishly and kissed her. "We could do a lot more than kissing, you know," his arms tightened a little and he kissed her again. His hands started sliding to places that brought blushes to her cheeks.
She shoved him away, "Oh, no! We can't, Tor. I shouldn't even be kissing someone like you, but..."
"Someone like me, is it?" His expression changed, he looked mean and very angry, "Nevermind. Stay here, I'm going outside for a bit."
Tears spilled down her face as he slammed the door. She'd spoiled everything! If only Mother and Father hadn't always been so, so smothering, she would have known what to do so Torrin wouldn't be so mad right now. She didn't know what to do. Everyone was upset with her now, Tor probably wouldn't want to see her again even if she ever could sneak away after this. She tried to stop crying, but she couldn't so she just gave in to it.
Torrin was gone long enough that the fire in the hearth died to embers and her tears ran out. She was about to get up and try to go home when she heard boots crunching in the new snow outside the cottage. The windows were all shuttered and it was dark outside, so she had no idea who was out there, but there was more than one person. Suddenly she was frightened. She was all alone and no one knew where she was except Tor. She heard muffled whispers, and straining her ears she thought she recognized Torrin's voice. He was saying something about a debt... his father's debt getting paid. She couldn't make out anything else.
The footsteps came closer and someone opened the door. Torrin poked his head in and flashed her a huge grin, "Good, you're still here. I'm so sorry I got mad, I was afraid you'd leave before I got back." He was talking too loudly and his grin looked frightening, like a wolf smiling at you before he eats you, she thought.
Her voice was small and trembling, "Everything's alright then? I... I thought I heard you talking to someone."
His grin faltered for a split second. "Nonsense, just practicing how to apologize to you. I was such a dolt. Can you forgive me, Ray?"
"Oh. Well, yes. I need to go home now though. You were gone so long..."
He had a bottle of something with him, he was opening it now, "Alright, have some of this first and I'll take you back, it'll keep you warm on your walk."
She didn't want to drink anything more, but she couldn't think of an excuse. Just a little sip won't hurt, then he'll let me go home. The liquid burned her mouth and throat, then even her stomach and it left a sour, bitter tang in her mouth after. She coughed and choked on it. "That's awful!" She could hardly work her mouth around the words and the world was tilting and spinning. She looked up at Torrin, hoping he would help her, but he was glaring at her. He opened the door and several strange, ragged men came into the cottage.
"There, she drank it. Her family's probably noticed she's missing so you better move her quick."
"Nice work, lad. It ain't so hard to dupe a naive little girl, but you done well. Pretty thing, too, ain't she?"
She went cold with fear at their words and tried to get up, run away, anything, but her limbs wouldn't work together and she couldn't feel her hands and feet very well.
Torrin shuffled his feet, "Deal's done then?"
She couldn't see anymore, but the voice that replied was the same that had just spoken, "Yep, tell yer da t'move on, but his debt to us is paid."
"Fine. Take her and go. I'll make sure she didn't leave anything here." She wanted to shout, to beg Torrin not to give her to these bandits, but her body wouldn't work, she couldn't even move her fingers or toes. At least she didn't think she could. She could hardly think from the drink Torrin gave her and panic was making her heart race.
Someone hauled her up by her clothing and threw her over his shoulder, the motion was too much for her to handle and she blacked out.
