In the car, Dean was running everything over in his mind. The demon, dad's death, it was a lot to deal with but he shouldn't take it out on them. It wasn't their fault; it was his. They deserve to hear something out of him besides sarcasm and bitter comments. Dean pulled the car over and got out.

Sam looked back at Kayla and they got out of the car. "Dean what is it?"

He leaned against the hood. Here goes everything. "Look I'm sorry for the way I've been acting." He looked down. "And for dad. He was your dad too Sam and it's my fault he's gone."

"What are you talking about?"

"We've all been thinking it Sam, I made a miracle recovery and five minutes later the colt is gone and dad's dead. Don't tell me there's not a connection there. Dad's dead because of me, that I do know for sure."

"We don't know that, not for sure."

"Sam." His eyes teared up; this was hard enough without having to argue with him. "I never should have come back, it wasn't right and it wasn't natural. And now look what's come with it. I was dead, and I should have stayed dead. You guys have been telling me to open up, you wanted to know how I was feeling. Well that's it. So tell me, what could you possibly say to make that alright?" A tear ran down his cheek and Sam couldn't even look at him.

They were all quiet for awhile. Sam murmured an apology to his brother before getting back in the car, he honestly couldn't think of a single thing to say to him. Kayla didn't really know either, it just tore her up to see him cry. Dean never cried, about anything. She walked up and hugged him tightly and he let her do it, even hugged her back for a moment before holding her back to look at her.

"Dean I'm sorry, I just want to make all this go away for you."

"But you can't. Whatever happened with dad, it was a decision he made to save my life. I can't let anyone get close like that, not ever again you understand?"

She smiled softly and kissed him on the forehead. "I'm not gonna argue with you, you do what you think is right and I'll be here to back you up."

Dean got back in the car shortly after Kayla did; he felt like shit. There had to be something to fill this hole, to make this empty feeling go away because it was making him miserable. It made him not want to wake up in the morning and all he could do was attack every job that came in his direction to get away from it.