The Heroes Parody Project 2

Chapter 7: Foxhunt

Warning: There are a few spoiler-ish moments, make sure you have some knowledge about the newest season of Heroes.

Disclaimer: Heroes is copyright of NBC. That means that all characters, events, and powers belong......to them. Anything else has just been made up, though any similarities from any such names or events are completely coincidental.

The cast of heroes are sitting around.

Claire: Hi. I'm Claire Bennet, and I'm with the cast of Heroes. We're here today to bring you a special announcement....

Peter: That's right, Claire....

Claire: …..

Peter: As of today, The Heroes Parody Project will be broadcasted in HIGH DEFINITION. So this day will be the day we finally make the jump into the future!

Matt: Awesome!

Niki: Um.......We're in HD now?

Peter: Yup!

Niki: How does that.....I mean.....you know what? I'm not even going to go there.

Matt: Yeah, so enjoy the show in crystal clear picture goodness. By the way Niki....you should have that mole checked out.

Niki: I don't have a mole!

Matt: I never noticed it before but now that we're in HD it looks like something died on your face!

Niki: Something's about to die alright...

Peter: And.....here we go in high definition....enjoy.

---

Peter: Looks like it's time to save the world again!

Niki: This is HD? What a rip-off!

Matt: Whoa.....my beautiful face is so detailed....

Nathan enters the room.

Nathan: What in the world is going on around here? Why does everyone look so strange?

Peter: We're in HD now, bro!

Nathan: HD?.....Um......how does that work with this story exactly?

Niki: That's what I've been saying....

Matt: And seriously Niki.....do something about that mole!

Niki: Matt! Shut your pie-hole!

Matt: Maybe it's just some chocolate. I'll take care of it. (He licks his thumb and smudges Niki's face)

Niki: ERRGH!!!

---

-The television explodes!-

Nathan: Previously on Heroes

A crazy scientist by the name of Richard Prescott conducts an experimental procedure to eliminate special abilities from people. Why? Because his daughter also had an ability to conjure ice. He was not happy about this.

Nathan: That happened all the way back in Volume 1! Like anybody is going to remember that!

Long story short, his son, Simon ('Cy' for short) did not approve and messed with the formula. So Peter not only lost his powers, but they were sent to seven different individuals. Including Sunny Evans, the obnoxious girl from Volume 2, who loved chocolate milk! And can turn invisible!

Claire: Don't bring her back! For the love of god, keep her away!!!

These seven individuals were being hunted by a casino manager by the name of Thomas Fox. Fox is Sunny's presumed father, then turned out to be step-father. A mysterious killer (who looked a whole lot like Peter) was 'off-ing' these people and taking their abilities. Because Sylar could never do the job himself since he was too busy making waffles.

Sylar: That only happened once!

Peter (or someone that looked like him) had a one on one with Thomas Fox....then he killed him. Meanwhile, Claire graduated from high school.

Later, a man by the name of Daniel Ryan, a comatose man with the ability to create worlds inside his brain where he is conscious, who deriving a plan to create a horrific world and when he awoke in the real world, his vision would come to life and boatloads of people would probably die. This world 'The Alternative world' consisted of doppelgangers of people from the real world, including the Heroes themselves (so the guy who looked like Peter back then killing those people was actually an 'Alternate' version of him.....good times). Alter-Claire had the ability to inflict pain upon herself but reflect the actual feeling of the pain upon someone else. Alter-Matt can make objects explode by touching them, like Jubilee! Or was it Rogue...ah, who cares...? Mohinder can form into liquid (which didn't last long until the real Matt made quick work of him using the quicker, thicker, picker-upper 'Bounty' paper towels!) and Nathan could alter gravity.....I guess a watered down version of flying; and for Niki, her alternative was Jessica (Which makes sense...actually it doesn't.). Meanwhile, the kids, Micah and Molly were kidnapped, Molly got sent to the alternative world and had her power erased, then got the boot...fortunately she could still use said power upon coming back, but not very well. The heroes were able to find Daniel Ryan only to be accosted by Thomas Fox, (not dead) his biological father. Ultimately, the alternative world was destroyed, but Peter, Sylar, and Ryan were still in it. Upon Ryan dying, any alternative folk perished along with him. The heroes escape from the building that explodes, emerging from the fire was Fox, who wasn't dead again....

Now....recently....

Claire was interested in a guy named Kevin in her class who had the ability to have 'Grim Reaper' like abilities (he touches you, you croak, pretty basic). Sylar (who survived the alternative world mess, though it is unclear how) is in-cahoots with Kevin to get Claire so he can steal her ability again......why was Kevin going along with it?

Sylar: I'll be your BFF!

Kevin: whatever...

Kevin was able to dupe Claire into going with him into an abandoned warehouse, which is never good. Claire had the upper hand figuring it was a trap and pulled a gun on Sylar, only completely missing him and shooting a barrel that explodes. Sylar and Kevin get away, Claire is left in the back alley. Noah and Company were able to find her thanks to Sandra Bennet's stellar parenting skills.

Sandra: ...you can find more of my wonderful advice from my new book. 'What to expect when you're expecting....your child to do something stupid'. Coming this holiday season! Pre-order now to receive a limited edition Muggles Bookmark!

Agent: I'm sorry, Mrs. Bennet. We couldn't get the rights to Muggles' image.....so we had to go with Marmaduke.

Sandra (sobbing): BUT HE SUCKS!

Sylar and Kevin get away. Kevin is skeptical about Sylar's motives. So Sylar kills him and takes his ability.

Elsewhere, Nathan and Hiro (sans Ando since he has to work) were on a mission to find Peter (post-alternative world), only to go on a wild goose chase and to team up with Niki and Matt and heading to a secret laboratory where Mohinder is doing some sort of guest-supervising against his will. Micah and Molly come to help....only to get kidnapped. Go figure.....This laboratory was the holding cell for.....

Peter! (Although unclear how he ended up here) is being used in experiments titled 'The Remnant Project' which uses memories of people as a cheaper, more effective way to clone people, basically reviving the dead. Peter had to sit thought a 'Clue-Ripoff', a 'Superhero Scenario' and 'Peter and Matt: Secret Agents'. These trials seem like they have nothing to do with using memories to clone people (and they don't) but the trials serve as exercises to stimulate the brain to make the process go smoother. But, the final experiment has ended, Peter is now awake. Nathan and Niki are held at gunpoint by Thomas Fox, who still isn't dead, and that pretty much covers what happens up to now, sort of......Heroes Continues...NOW!!!

Peter, Nathan, Niki, and Thomas Fox
The Main Control Center of the Secret Laboratory
Where Professor Utonium added sugar, spice, and everything nice to make 'The Powerpuff Girls'!

Peter: Fox.....you're alive?

Fox: Well, well......Peter, you are awake.

Niki: Wow, so perceptive...(rolls eyes).

Peter: Why am I here? What are you up to? When is someone going to take care of that mole on Niki's face!?

Niki: I do not have a friggin mole.....I swear, next time I see Matt......

Fox: You were being used in my experiment, Mr. Petrelli. You see.....When my son, Daniel, perished....the 'alternative' world went along with him. You and Gabriel Gray managed to escape. Upon the wreckage from the building, I found the bodies of you and Gabriel. I decided to take you in....and here you are...

Peter: Well, that explains everything....

Niki: Uh....NO! Why didn't you take Sylar?

Fox: Peter was a more interesting specimen....

Nathan: Yeah, the whole 'Peter being used as a Guinea Pig for the sake of science' plot has been used like 4 times already.....

Fox: Besides....before I had a chance....Sylar got away. I should have killed him.

Peter: Don't bother.....That never works.

-Flashback-

Peter, Claire, Hiro, Noah, Angela, Matt and the others are standing outside next to a bon-fire. Sylar's corpse is burning in the raging flames.

Claire: He's really dead.....isn't he?

Noah: Yes, Claire.

A woman approaches them.

Scout Master: You know, I wish you wouldn't have your viking funerals or whatever on our campsite. My scouts are trying to cook marshmallows for heaven's sake!

Matt: It's a camp.....though I don't see Micah.....He usually gets stuck in places like these.....

Angela: Well, looks like somebody's going to have to get him so we can take our business elsewhere.

Everyone looks at Claire.

Claire: What!? I'm not touching Sylar! He's gross.....Peter can shape shift, can't he turn into fire or a bucket of water and grab him or something?

Noah: He's not a Wonder Twin, Claire!

Peter: That would be awesome!

Claire: Oh....Fine....I'll do it, but I won't like it.

-END-

Nathan: Finally.....

Fox: Anyway, here we are....

Peter: That explains everything.....

Niki: No it doesn't! Didn't you die?!

Fox: I did.....

Nathan: Hold it! Fox was killed by Alter-Peter back then before Claire's graduation.....so you must have been the alternate-version of Thomas Fox.....but didn't you die when Daniel Ryan did? Since all alternative people instantly die when....the host does or whatever?! Ugh...this is extremely confusing....

Fox: Because....the man that died....was my alternate form......

Niki: That means.....you're the real Thomas Fox.

Nathan: Oh wow, that clears up everything. I'm a lot less confused now!

Peter: I don't think so Niki, I think it was something else.....

Fox: She's actually right.

Peter: Nah.....I'm going to go on a whim and say that....you're really Sylar!

Fox: Uh....No.

Peter: Linderman?

Fox: NO!

Peter: ….Muggles?

Fox: NO DAMMIT! Now keep quiet!

Peter: Okay, I guess I'll believe you....

Niki: One question, why? Why are you doing this?

Fox: It was the perfect plan to clone those who have fallen.....

Niki: You're going to revive The Alternatives......

Fox: Exactly....and use them against you for revenge!

Nathan: Hell, go for it.....they were pretty pathetic last time.

Fox: No they weren't! My son created them, and their powers....were unlike anything I've ever seen.

Nathan: Hmm.....nah, they were pretty bad.

Fox: Silence! The experiments are done.....now all I have to do is start.....The Resurrection Process.

Peter: Is there a way you can revive 'Pushing Daises'.?...I really miss that show....

Fox rolls his eyes while typing something on the computer. Random pictures of Claire, Mohinder, Matt, and Jessica pop up.

Fox: And so it begins........argh....damn pop-ups.....

(On the monitor) CHAPTER SEVEN: FOXHUNT

---An eclipse is shown, there's the world...and the whole display forms into an eyeball or something...............HEROES---

Hiro
The Local Denny's Restaurant
Arteries....clogging....must....finish....moons over my-hammy!......

Hiro busts into the restaurant. To find the children....

Hiro: GONE!.....Oh no.....this is bad indeed. I can do something.....

Hiro scrunches as his cell phone rings with the 'Macarena Song' blaring (it was Ando). Hiro disappears.

Meanwhile, at Ando's work (in his cubicle), Hiro pops in and falls on top of his desk.

Ando: Hiro! What are you doing here?!

Hiro: Oh no! Did you just call my cell phone?

Ando: Yes.

Hiro: Drat! It must have distracted me and I ended up here!

Ando: Well that makes no sense since you don't know where I work!

Hiro: The children are in trouble, Ando. We must help them!

Ando: Hiro, I'm working! Can you not see that!

Hiro: But Ando, this is serious!

Ando: There are other responsibilities that need tending to, more important than whatever it is you are doing.

Hiro: More important than saving the world!? Have you gone stupid!?

Ando: How is the world in trouble this time?

Hiro: Well, Peter was captured, and I had to team up with Nathan....horrible partner by the way....and we went to see an ancient Chinese prophet, then he died, and now we were with Niki....who's not that great of a partner either....Micah and Molly were at Denny's then they were kidnapped and I must go save them!

Ando: Fine! Don't get your undies in a twist! I'll clock out for break. But you better get me back here in one hour.

Hiro (to himself): He says this to the man who can alter time. He must think I'm stupid........oh Ando, so naive.

Ando: Hello! I'm standing right in front of you!

Hiro: EEK!

Back at the lab.....

Nathan: Fox....don't do this. You cannot revive the dead! Remember when Buffy tried to revive her mom back in Season 5? It had horrible, horrible results!

Niki: We're about to die and this man is on the verge of destroying the world and the best you can do is a Buffy reference?!

Nathan: I don't see you trying anything!

Niki: Peter! Do something!

Peter: Fox....don't do this! You cannot revive the dead!......You remember that episode of Blossom when......

Niki: GOD, YOU TWO SUCK AT THIS!!!!

Fox is ready to push a button.....a whip wraps around his hand, startling him.

Fox: Wha!?

Everyone turns to the door to see Matt and Mohinder. Matt, who is wearing a brown fedora hat and holding the whip.

Matt: The name is Bond.....Gold Bond Medicated Powder.

Nathan: Wrong franchise there, champ......and you said it wrong!

Mohinder (To Matt): Matt, what are you doing?

Matt (whispering): I have to do these ads on the side!

Mohinder: Why?

Matt: If we don't they'll cut our budget.....and we don't need that again.

-Flashback-

Sylar walks into a room where he notices Elle.

Elle: That's far enough, Sylar. It's time to meet your maker. It's also time for you to die!

Elle shuffles up to him, dragging her feet on the carpet. She touches his arm, giving him a small shock.

Sylar: THAT'S IT!?

Elle: There's more where that came from!

Sylar: Oh Elle....that is just pathetic!

Elle: Here comes another one....(starts to wipe her feet)

Sylar: It's going to be a long night.....

-END-

Matt: Let them go!

Nathan: Well, thanks to Matt's cut-a-way segment to something pointless. He got away!

Matt: Oh fudgesicles!

Mohinder: I'll try to see if I can bring the system offline before any real damage is done. You guys try to find him.

Matt, Nathan (who unties Peter) and Niki run off after him.

Noah and Company, Claire
The Bennet Household
Where this bowl of porridge is too hot....this one is too cold.....and this one is just...AS HOT AS THE FIRST ONE! AHHH! MY TONGUE!

Noah, Claire, and co. enter the house. Sandra is thrilled.

Sandra: Claire! You're safe! I'm so glad!

Claire: Hi mom.....

Sandra: You're just in time for dinner....your old boyfriend Tom stopped by.

Claire: Tom.....I don't know a Tom!

Noah shoots Elle and The Haitian a concerned look. They run in to find Sylar wearing a sports jacket.

Claire: It's you!

Sylar: Hello, Claire......I've missed you.

Claire: DIE!

She tackles him and starts ramming his head into the kitchen tile floor.

Claire: LEAVE...(whack).....ME....(whack).......ALONE.......(whack).......YOU.....(whack)......CREEP......(THUD)

Meanwhile, The Real Sylar walks in.

Sylar (not the guy getting brutalized): Uh.....

Noah: WHAT!?

Claire: Oh......so this must be Tom.....OHHHHH.....Tom, that's right I remember him......We used to go out....

Noah: You dated someone that looked like Sylar!?

Claire: That was before....you know......all of this.

Elle: I get it.......though that makes absolutely no sense.

Tom (who we thought was Sylar.....just someone that looked like him) busts out the door.

Claire: I don't know what you're up too. Where's Kevin?

Sylar: He's dead....my dear.

Claire: WHAT!? I can't believe this.....I'm so sad....

Noah: Oh, whatever. You only knew him for like '3 chapters', get over it!

Claire: Well, there goes that sentimental moment.....

Sylar: And now.....his ability is mine....

Claire: He had an ability?

Sylar: You didn't know...hmm.....oh well.....I guess we'll have to try it out on someone.....

Sylar picks up a Barbie Doll and caresses it with his hand. He placed the doll on the table. Everyone looks confused. Sylar knocks the Barbie over.

Elle: I'm.....not....getting....it.....What are you trying to.....

Sylar: It's a symbolism thing.....

Claire: You can play with dolls!?

Sylar: NO, STUPID!!! Anything I touch can be killed.......so, who will be the first to go?

Sandra: Can I say something?

Sylar: I don't see why not?

Sandra: In order to kill someone you just have to touch them. Well, almost everyone here has guns....so you are not only outnumbered but out-firepowered as well.

Sylar: That's right....

Sandra: YAY! Score one for mom!

She runs up to a chalk board and puts a tally mark under her name.

Sandra: Eat my dust, losers!

Sylar: But none of that matters....since there is only one spot on my entire body that can kill me...and I can move it wherever I want. TEE FRICKEN HEE!

Noah: For the millionth time, you can't shape-shift anymore! And by the way....that's so cheating....

Sylar makes his way toward Sandra, not laying a finger on her, since she would croak. Noah and The Haitian draw their guns, Elle takes her shoes off so she can rub her feet against the carpet....

Sylar: We have no budget again?!

Sandra: That's my fault. I had Rachel Ray make a guest appearance to help cook a fabulous dinner for us.

In the kitchen, Rachel Ray dumps a colorful foreign substance into a device and pushes on the lever. The substance forms long stringy noodles as they slide onto the plate.

Rachel Ray: Play-Dough Spaghetti is ready!!!!

Sylar: Ew!

Back at the lab. Matt, Niki, Peter and Nathan are running down the hall after Fox. He is cornered.

Nathan: The jig is up, Fox.

Peter: And the case has been solved.....isn't that right, Scooby Doo?

Scooby Doo: Rhat's right Reter! Row we can take that runavuh ritch to rail werh he can rot cuz Ruffles have Ridges!

Peter: My thoughts exactly....

Niki: WHAT THE 'F' IS WRONG WITH YOU!?!

Fox turns and jumps out the window.

Nathan: ARGH! He's getting away again! You guys suck at this!

Nathan takes off running and flies out the window. He soars toward the pavement outside after Fox, only to stop abruptly before reaching the ground. He looks around, confused as to why he is suspended in mid-air, only to notice that someone is holding him in that position, he looks over to see himself (the alternate Nathan), standing next to Fox.

Nathan: Oh boy......here we go again.

Back upstairs, Peter is looking out the window.

Peter: NATHAN!!! Are you okay?! If you're hurt I have plenty of Strawberry Shortcake band-aids to heal your wounds!

Niki: Forget it, let's just go after him.

She turns around to be greeting with a fist. The punch to Niki's face sends to sliding several feet.

Niki: What the hell was that?!

She sees her sister/alternate self Jessica stand before her.

Niki: ….....ah....

Mohinder comes running up.

Peter: Mohinder! There you are! We need to hurry and.....

The sound of a gunshot rings, Peter notices a bullet wound in his arm.

Peter: Hey! That hurt!

Niki: Mohinder! What is wrong with you.....?

Matt grabs a fire extinguisher and bangs it over Mohinder's head, only to have it pass though his body which has a watery consistency.

Niki: Oh no.....he did it, the managed to bring back the alternatives......now we have to re-live this story line again. FUN!

Matt: They are? I just wanted to hit Mohinder with a fire extinguisher.

Meanwhile, the real Mohinder shows up.

Mohinder: Guys, I have terrible news! We're too late!

He sees Jessica standing over Niki, Matt holding a fire hydrant, 'Alter-Mohinder' holding a gun, and Peter bleeding.

Peter: Crap! I've put on like 100 of these stupid band-aids, but it's not stopping. I think we should get to the doctor peoples.....

Mohinder: Hmm....well......looks like you guys found out the news. So.....GOOD LUCK!

He spins around to see the alternative forms of Claire and Matt (who can destroy things with one touch) has his hand inches from Mohinder's face.

Alter-Matt: I wouldn't move if I were you.

Mohinder: Yeesh.

Matt (The real one): Don't trust him, Mohinder! He looks like me but he has a soul patch. Which means he's evil!

Mohinder: Well, duh! I think I can figure out which one is which. I am a brilliant scientist by the way.

Niki: Yeah, and might I add you are doing an absolute stellar job.

Mohinder: What's that supposed to mean.

Alter-Claire: You all are coming with us.

Peter: Scooby Doo! You have to save us!

Scooby Doo: Ro Ray! (Shakes his head) Rot unless you rave a 'Rooby Rack'?

Peter: A....'Ruby Rack'?

Scooby Doo: Rooby Rack!

Peter: Roooo....Roooo....A Rugby Pack?

Scooy Doo: ROOBY...RACK...

Peter: …..A Ruh......Roo....Ruh......Row.....Row, Row, Row your boat, gently down the stream?

Niki: He wants a Scooby snack! UGH! Idiot...

Peter: Oh, well I ate them all. And for the record they tasted like garbage.

Scooby: GRR!

Back at the Bennet's.

Noah, Elle, The Haitian, Claire, Lyle, Sandra, Muggles, and Sylar are all eating dinner.

Rachel Ray: Eat up!

Sylar: What the hell is this? Play-Dough?! I'm not touching this crap.

Rachel Ray: You have to eat your dinner, or you're not getting any desert.....and by desert I mean 'your freedom'.

She flicks a switch and all the doors lock in the house.

Noah: Oh no.......

Rachel Ray: So until you eat.....nobody is going anywhere tonight.

Elle: YAY! A SLEEPOVER!!!

Noah: Dammit....and I just got her out of my house!

The scene shrinks down into a small box (ala 24) while the following scenes are happening:

(Rachel Ray is monitoring the Bennet family's dinner table, holding them hostage)

(In chains, Nathan, Niki, Matt, Mohinder, and Peter are loaded up into a van. Fox is pleased)

(Hiro and Ando are on the subway, Ando reminds him that he can teleport, which they do)

(Micah and Molly are in a holding cell)

(Angela Petrelli, who has yet to be introduced in this story-arc, is at home knitting a sweater. Unaware that any of this is going on)

Hiro and Ando arrive back at the lab, and everyone is gone.

Hiro: We're too late! Again! I'm going to get demoted down the cast list for sure now!

---IT'S THE HEROES SHOW!!!---

Starring: Peter Petrelli!

Claire Bennet (snaps her arm into place)

Nathan Petrelli

Matt Parkman

Niki Sanders

Mohinder Suresh

The Bennet Family

Micah Sanders and Molly Walker

Elle Bishop and The Haitian

Ando

The people who supply the wardrobe

Applebee's (They brought food)

Camera Guy Joe

Carrot Top (He brought props)

and finally Hiro Nakamura.....TOILET CLEANER!

Hiro: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Hiro: WAIT! We have someone who can help us.....the only person who can.....

Cut back to Angela Petrelli knitting....

Angela: Oh so now I'm going to be used in the volume, well isn't that nice. Jerks......

To Be Continued.....

Next Time on Heroes, it's the last chapter of the volume. (Which off the record, I'll start the volume with two chapters, take some time off, come back, write a bunch of them, take a LONG TIME OFF, then come back to finish the final two, I don't know why it always seems I do that but...hmm....)

At Angela's....

Hiro: You have to help us Mrs. Petrelli!

Angela: Fine, I'll help. But first you have to impress me with your piano playing skills.

Hiro hops on the grand piano and starts playing 'I dropped my dolly in the dirt'.....

Angela: Ugh.....don't even bother.

Hiro: Micah's the piano player in the group anyway.....

At the Bennet's.

Noah: If we're going to do this we're going to have to work as a team. Okay, we need to split up....Elle, you go with Sylar. Everyone else come with me to the living room so we can catch the season finale of LOST.

At the Big Bad's lair....

Peter: It's time to end this.....

Peter reaches for a sword.

Peter: I HAVE THE POOOWWWEEERRR!!!.....um....

He tugs at the sword but no avail.

Peter: This things a lot heavier than I thought....

Niki slaps her forehead....

End...