The next day (because Rose said so), the four of us gathered during a break to figure out what to do.
"What about dungbombs?" Charlotte suggested. "In Filch's office."
"That's a classic," Albus waved the thought away, "Too original… we need something with spice."
"Spice?" Rose scoffed. "How about spiking them with chili pepper seasoning?"
"Let's do that!"
"I was sarcastic."
"Piss off, then."
I sit there twirling my quill. I was silently thinking. I mean, everything prank we could think of was probably done already. Dungbombs is just a traditional; if you want to prank for the first time, you use dungbombs. But we want something completely different.
"How about Wizard Wheezes-"
"No."
"Hey," Charlotte said. "At least I'm putting in ideas! And you're uncle is running the legit Weasley Wizard Joke Shop! We have a perfect source!"
"Actually," Rose replied. "Everyone in the Weasley family uses it. Don't mean to burst the bubble, but let's be traditional."
"Zonkos?"
"How are we going to get there?" I ask.
"Invisibility cloak," Albus said.
"And just how are you going to convince James to give that to you?" Rose smirked.
"I don't know."
Since we were all sitting next against the wall in a hallway to the Transfiguration, we all got up at that moment when the halls started filling in with students for class. We dusted our bums and sighed to each other.
"I wonder if the Marauders had this much trouble with their first prank," Albus murmured.
"Probably not," I sling my bag over my shoulder. "Because they didn't have you in that group."
"Anger," Albus remarked.
I woke up on a frightful Saturday morning to too much sunlight and too much time on my hands. I flopped out of bed and made my way to the Common Room.
"I feel like I see you wear that same outfit every weekend," Rose greeted me. I looked down at my fading (and probably black) jeans, gray shirt, and Converse.
"I'm actually wearing a sweater since it's getting cold," I gesture to a Gryffindor pride sweatshirt that I'm holding.
"I mean," Rose got up from the couch, "Do you even have a wardrobe?"
My face flushed. "Of course."
"Other than those clothes?"
"..."
"We need to go do some shopping."
"What about shopping?" a shuffle of footsteps came down from the stairs.
"Hi, Charlotte, how are you?"
"Scorpius Malfoy, don't change the subject, your sense of style is in a crisis!"
"No it's not."
"Yes, it is."
"No."
"Yes."
"No."
"Yes."
"No."
"Yes."
"Guys," Charlotte stepped in between Rose and I. We didn't even realize we were nose to nose. "Calm down."
"No."
"No."
Charlotte let out a sigh. "Okay, never mind. Scorpius, go upstairs and splash some water on Albus's face for me, we need to plan, remember?. And if you do, you have my consent to bicker with Rose all the way down to the Great Hall."
I leave abruptly after giving Rose a glare.
"Albus, can you ask Rose to pass the butter to me?"
"Albus, can you tell Scorpius that I say no?"
"Albus, can you tell Rose that she's overreacting?"
"Albus, can you tell Scorpius that he should just agree with me.?"
"Albus, can you-"
"ENOUGH!" Charlotte slammed her hands on the table. "What is this? A small little bickering over clothes? So what? Who cares that Scorpius only has one set of clothes? Probably you , Rose, but it's not our fault that you're a perfectionist!"
Albus breathed sharply. "Burn. Sssss."
Rose sighed and got up. "Whatever. I'm leaving." She picked up the butter tray and threw it at me and left.
When I said threw… she threw.
I butter came flying to my face. Not only that it went on my face, neck, and hands, it left a stain on my shirt.
"Fucking-" I splat the remains of the butter onto the table.
"I'm off," Charlotte hid a smile. "I'll help Rose vent and find weakness for revenge I guess."
I grunt in reply and took a napkin and tried to clean off, but the butter was too slippery and half melted. I growl in anger when the stain didn't get out. "C'mon! I actually like this shirt!"
"Don't you have another shirt like that?" Albus asked. I threw him a glare. "Okay, okay, nevermind. Do you need to change? We can head back to the Common Room and pick out a… different color shirt."
I stood up without replying and we made our way back.
.
I went through Albus's pile of clothes when after I finally admitted that I had only a grayscale of clothes (but each shirt was different). I took a blue shirt with this knight on it. Albus said it was from his school.
I rubbed my neck that was still smeared with butter. "Ugh, I don't want to take a shower."
"Maybe just rub it off," Albus threw a towel at me. "Water doesn't mix with oil, remember?"
"I actually don't remember," I grimace as I cleaned up. "It's so slippery too, like what the heck?"
Albus suddenly froze. He looked at me and a really big grin grew.
Meanwhile, I was frowning. "What?"
"Butter," he whispered before he took me by the half-buttery hand and led me downstairs. There we got an unexpected visit from Rose and Charlotte. Rose looked a little bit angry and Charlotte looked tired.
"Hey-" Charlotte began. However, Albus immediately shushed her and led us out of the Common Room. We slid underneath everyone else and we landed ourselves in a large broom closet.
"What are we doing here?" Rose asked annoyingly. I shift a bit away from her, feeling heat and angry vibes from the orange ball of fury next to me.
"Butter!" Albus laughed and jumped on the box he was sitting in. "Butter! It's the solution of all of our problems! Butter!"
"Butter," Rose said with much less enthusism. This led to a real painful looking elbow in the guts from Charlotte.
"Sorry, Albus," Charlotte said. "But could you expand from the word, 'butter' a little more?"
Albus rubbed his hands together and began talking.
"WAKE UP!" was the first thing I heard on a great Wednesday morning. Ugh, Wednesday's the day right?. Next thing I knew, Albus was on top of me.
"Must you always be that loud?" Timmy groaned from the other side of the room.
"Hey," Albus's voice boomed, "this was the first time I ever cannon bombed into another person's bed."
"Oh, I thought you slept there and just into it again," was what probably Andrew said, the surprise blurred out all of my senses. A small, shared laughter weaved through the room and I could at least tell that Albus blushed in bed. He sat up, which pushed me awake too.
"What are you doing in here?" I say in a harsh whisper, checking that each curtain is sealed shut and saw that the time was 4:50am. "We aren't suppose to be in the hideout until 5:30."
"Yeah, I know," Albus rolled his eyes, knowing that he was the one who created our lame scheme in the first place. "But aren't you excited?"
"Sure," I rubbed my head, "For a detention."
"Ah, shuddup," Albus smacked my rubbing spot hard. "Look at the bright side, first prank, people will be fearing us."
"Yeah right," I scoffed, "'Oh no, those First Years are armed with butter! Watch out!'"
I was expecting a slap but Albus just laughed along. "Whatever, just get ready now, I want to beat the girls. Plus, we'll be more awake if than them. Don't ya think?"
"I guess," I shoved him off the bed. He swiftly landed on his feet and retreated to get dressed.
"Which fruit is it?" Rose was the first to note our problem.
When we got downstairs, I knocked out on a couch and Albus began stacking things on my nose. So, naturally, when the girls came down ten minutes early, all things came falling down. Luckily, nobody came rushing down to scold us, but I did a lot of scolding to Albus. He managed to stack three books, two pieces of firewood, a pillow, a few pieces of parchment, and a bunch of quills he found lying around the Common Room. I whacked him with one of the firewoods on the leg, which he was fortunately (for him, unfortunately), wearing shorts.
In the end, Rose gave me a high five but glared at the fact I was wearing a black vest.
"Isn't it the peach?" Charlotte said.
"No," Albus pulled out a splinter from his calf and rubbed it. "It's the pear."
"And we're suppose to… tickle it?" I raised an eyebrow.
"That's what James told me," Albus walked up to the fruit. He turned back and at us and grinned before rubbing the helpless pear who started giggling furiously. After the longest five seconds of my life, the portrait swung open into a completely new atmosphere.
The four of us peeped our heads into the room and saw that a billion set of eyes were staring back at us. House elves were all about working, cooking, folding, sweeping, all stopped to look at us, the crummy First Years looking to butter.
"Um…," Charlotte was the first to say something. "Hi?"
One house elf stepped forward to the front. "Are you Mr. Potter, sir?"
At that moment all of us turned our heads towards Albus, who looked as surprised as us. He squinted down at her (him?) then his eyes went as wide as theirs. "Wiggles?"
The elf jumped with glee and pulled Albus through the portrait hole. "It is you Mr. Potter, sir! Come in! Come in! And bring your friends in too! Wiggles and her friends all love guests! We haven't had guests all year!"
And with that, we were dragged into the kitchen and left the hall with a bam from the portrait hole.
..
"What are you doing here?" Albus asked Wiggles, who seated all four of us on a small dining table. One elf passed out a tray of hot chocolate while another had a plate of cookies.
"Wiggles works here when master doesn't give Wiggles any orders!" Wiggles replied happily. "Master Potter said that he doesn't need me unless he wants me to clean rooms. Other than that, Master Potter orders me to help out in the kitchens of Hogwarts when I'm not working!"
"Oh," Albus put an elbow on the table and propped his head in the palm of his hand. "That makes so much more sense now. Mum always said she never cleans my room, but I wouldn't clean it either."
"You never told me your family had a house elf," Rose said.
Albus merely shrugged, he began talking once Wiggles left. "I mean, Wiggles was more behind the scenes. Dad generally wanted to give her clothes but Mum said no. So Dad will send Wiggles off to do what she pleases since we don't really need her."
"How long have you had her?" I asked.
"Erm…," Albus scratched his head. "A long time? Supposedly around Medieval Times? I dunno, but Dad found out he had an elf when he graduated I think."
"So these house elves are like maids that do things and they are bound to a family for life unless they're released when given clothes?" Charlotte piped up from her hot chocolate. Rose, Albus, and I shared a look with each other when we all realized that Charlotte was a Muggle-born and was new to the wizarding world.
"Yes," Rose replied. "You're good at catching on."
"Eh," Charlotte shrugged but we all saw that smug twinkle in her eye. "I'm better at listening to lectures than reading."
"Exact opposite," I smile.
"Is that so," Charlotte twirled her spoon in her cup.
Wiggles came back up with another plate of cookies. "Mr. Potter, sir, what brings you to the kitchens today?"
"Do you remember my grandfather James? The Marauders?" Albus asked.
"Of course!" Wiggles squealed in delight. "He was very kind to Wiggles. Made a lot of pranks which Wiggles didn't have to clean up because I didn't work here yet. Wiggles wanted to see Master Potter's pranks very badly.
Albus shared an euphoric grin with us before turning back to his house elf. "Well, Wiggles, would you like to watch a prank from his descendants yourself?"
"You know," Rose whispered to me in the darkness of the Great Hall. "I was expecting butter to be a difficult thing to get."
"God bless Wiggles, right?" I whispered back.
"God bless Queen while we're at it," Rose laughed at her joke.
"What?" I ask.
I hear Rose give out an exasperated sigh. "Nevermind."
"Hey guys!" Albus whisper yelled across the echoey Hall. "We have only ten minutes til sunrise, shut up and finish your house table!"
"Says you," Rose muttered. She replied back, "You convinced Wiggles about the silverware too right?"
"Of course, now come on."
After we finished up we left the hall and snuck back up to the Common Room.
"I can't believe we're doing this," Rose sighed after sneaking past Filch.
"I know right!" Albus said excitedly. "If it wasn't for you throwing a stick of butter at Scorpius, this wouldn't have been happening."
Rose and I stole a glance at each other. I looked away, still haven't forgiven her yet… but I mean, what were we fighting about?
"That was kind of funny," Rose said. "Thinking about that now, I forgot why I did it in the first place. Well, I mean, he asked for the butter, but I don't know why I threw it."
"I was thinking the same thing," I laugh.
"Aw," Charlotte and Albus said together.
"Isn't it amazing how fast they grow up?" Charlotte said.
"Oh, shut up."
"I'm hungry," I rolled over for the umpteenth time on the couch that I'm sharing with Charlotte and Rose (haha, Albus took the recliner). "We should've grabbed something before we came back."
"Well," Albus sighed into the chair, "Maybe if you hurried up with your table, we would've been back with a happy stomach."
"Just another two hours," Rose put a pillow between her and my feet.
"Then you can have as many sausages as you want," Charlotte patted on head. "You're hair is very soft-"
"DON'T TALK ABOUT FOOD!" I groaned and rolled again, this time, falling off the couch with a thump.
"Then why don't you go and get some?" Molly appeared, coming down from the staircase. "There's a place called the Great Hall you know, where we get food. It's been weeks into the school year, yet you haven't-"
"Of course we've been down there," Rose butted in. "We've had breakfast there everyday."
"So, why not have another breakfast there?" Molly's gaze still at me. "Scorpius?"
I felt locked in a very awkward situation. I glanced at Rose who was fiddling with her thumbs. Albus reached over and grabbed my arm and whispered. "Go with her, check on the progress, grab some food, and come back." He pushed me away.
I got up and flattened out my uniform. "I'd love to come with you, Molly."
…
"As a prefect, it's my responsibility to make sure that all students, especially First Years, know what to do, where to go, and why Hogwarts is an amazing school," Molly was blabbing on. I was leaning hard against the railing and trying to concentrate on what Molly was talking about.
Only five for levels to go.
"So…um," I pressed my hand to my forehead. "How's Lucy? Heard from her at all?"
"Of course," I noticed Molly straighten up a little. "We talk from time to time when we stumble upon each other, but we decided on writing letters to each other if it's something dire."
"They allow that?"
"Yes, and it comes in the next day for sure, since you're only sending it to the same place."
I scratched my chin. "Do a lot of people know about this?"
Molly cocked her head. "Well, there's this rumor, that a bunch of Slytherin's use it, to gossip and such." She whipped her head around to make sure no one was listening then turned back to me. "It explains why they get so much mail everyday."
Does Patricia know?
"Five years later, and I still hate walking down those stairs just to get to meals," Molly said to me glumly. "But the prize at the end is what counts."
"Uh-huh," I begin quickening my pace to the doors and stopped at the front. I hid a grin and began walking in pace with Molly. "Lovely day isn't it?"
"Yes, the light seems to bring out the tables pretty well," Molly replied. "Seems the elves finally cleaned up."
"With too much wax," one of the Gryffindors complained to the prefect. "Look at this, the tables are too oily!"
I felt my stomach growl with hunger and laughter. "Well, thanks for walking me down, Molly. I'll be sitting with my age."
"You're welcome, Scorpius. Maybe you'll knock some sense into my cousins for going to meals," Molly addressed to me. She then turned to the girl her age, "Quit your whining, be grateful."
What a thickhead, wait until she sits, I walked over to Timmy, but I nearly lost my cool when I saw grease stains creeping up his pants. I remain standing and plant a hand on his head. "'Sup, haven't seen you in a while." Careful not to touch any plates, I grabbed a handful of bread and four apples.
"Who the hell did this?" Timmy greeted me frustratingly. "After Albus jumped on your bed, I couldn't fall back asleep so I stayed up for two hours. Then I couldn't find my tie when I made sure I hung it on a hanger. Then I come down ready to eat because those two hours were like shit and I was starving, but then the freaking table is covered in butter! Melting, yellow butter. I was going to wipe it off, but I couldn't find any napkins anywhere! Actually, nobody could find any napkins. So I went to grab a knife… and get this, the knife was freaking buttered too! So I touched the plate, also oily as heck! Who the fucking hell decided to ruin my day."
"Good morning to you too," I also inhaled a pancake, still standing. I putted to Timmy referring to the twins. "Has he been like this so far?"
"Yup," Andrew snickered.
"This is a kinda funny prank actually," Anthony said. "We don't care, 'cause we worked in our dad's auto repair shop all the time."
"Muggle?" I adjusted all the food I was carrying.
"Uh-huh," Anthony continued, "Mom's the witch."
"But loads of oil accidents all the time," Andrew said.
"No biggie, this one," Anthony grinned.
"Ah," I chuckled awkwardly with them. "So tell me when Timmy got his cool back, but I'll be heading back upstairs again."
"Sure." They waved me goodbye.
I scanned the Great Hall one last time. A good first prank we did. I smile to myself and my eyes went up to the staff table, a table we agreed not to butter. The teachers had an amused look on their faces, because many more students were reacting the same way as Timmy, and some were worse. Then, Headmistress McGonagall's eyes found mine. We looked at each other for a long two seconds.
Her face was stern but her eyes twinkled in happiness.
As if she found something that was lost.
...
so if you read this or not, SORRY FOR THE DELAY like i had a block that was so bad, i was gonna die (jk)
trying to figure out what the prank was... ugh
here's the chapter! might start on Halloween next, maybe have something special happen *winky face*
but idk what the special will be hehe
i made this chapter spicy and long for you guys
