All characters belong to Sega/Archie except my OCs.
Chapter 7
I've never had mixed feelings over anything before. Well until now that is. Lately, I couldn't keep myself - or my unwanted emotions – in check. Ever since Amy and I went back to being friends, I found it hard to not be angry. It wasn't because I actually was upset over our mutual agreement to forget about the kiss or anything but it was because I needed something override the other emotions that were starting to beat their way into me. My feeling of content didn't do anything but let them bubble even more so I needed my anger to actually drill them down. So far, it was working but it wasn't helping my case since I ended up being a douche to almost everyone I spoke to. Especially Amy. Whenever she was around, I would somehow blow her off. I hadn't been doing it on purpose; it just worked out that way. Maybe it was because I was torn between wanting to avoid her and wanting to hold her. My whole emotional situation with her was starting to get on my nerves. I just wanted to go back to normal.
Suddenly, I heard the soft movements of footsteps against the warm sand. I was at the beachside behind my house, trying to clear my mind. The beach had always helped since it did calm me down but this time, it was just making me want to tear my hair out even more. I looked up to see Amy slowly making her way towards me. My jaw tightened as I felt the fuzziness start to arise in me. I guess this time I couldn't exact blame it since she looked so tempting. She was dressed in a simple bikini top, expressing her large chest, and a pair of denim shorts. Her pink curls were left down, flowing down over her small shoulders. She shot me a cautious smile as she got closer. "Hey partner," she said softly.
"Hi," I said dryly as I looked away from her.
"I was wondering if you'd like some company – if you promise to be nice."
"Sure." I glanced at her as she lowered herself to sit in the sand with me. I noticed her staring at me, blush starting to creep up her cheeks. I understood why though. I didn't have a shirt on and I'm pretty sure this was the first time she saw all my muscles in their reigning glory. Usually, I do wear a shirt but it was just too damn hot today. Dexter had offered to take me out somewhere so that we could break up the hot day but I told him later. I wanted to relax in the sun for a little while. Lately, Castillo had been putting me on a lot more drug deals. It was starting to get a bit annoying. Maybe even more annoying since I had to do them with Amy and she would always dress really sexy to play her part. It was hard to not grab her and kiss her and make her scream my name. I guess I had underestimated myself when it came to how much I was controlling these demon emotions. If I was letting them win then I would have already made her mine in more ways than one. I guess I was doing a lot better than I thought.
"I'm surprised Sally isn't draped all over you right now." I shrugged. After Sally and I slept together, she had been all over me for a while. Everywhere I went, she wanted to go and whenever we were alone she would pounce on me. But I think she was starting to get bored with me so she was starting to give me space – not that I had a problem with it. I was happy she was starting to back off. That meant that I could focus more at the task at hand. "Are you okay," Amy asked as she lightly put her hand on my arm. I immediately drew my arm away at the feel of her soft hands. As soon as she had touched me, the fuzziness had arose again – but in a fiery state.
"I'm fine," I snapped. Amy frowned at me before looking down at the sand. With a sigh, I started to let my anger bubble down. Even though the emotion was good at destroying my foreign desires, I didn't like making Amy upset. I could tell that I was hurting her feelings by the acting the way I was. She didn't deserve that behavior from me. All she has done was be nice to me. I could at least try to treat her the same way regardless of the feelings I was trying to hide from her. "I'm sorry, Ames."
"It's okay. Castillo putting too much pressure on you?"
"Yea. You could say that."
"I understand. So, um, is it okay if I talk to you about something?" I turned towards her, intrigued by the new soft tone of her voice. She was looking over the water, a worried expression on her face. Slowly, I reached out and gave her cheek a gentle caress. Her lips tugged at the ends, almost pulling into a smile.
"Of course you can." She turned her soft jade eyes to me.
"Well, Scourge came over last night." I raised an eyebrow. "I don't know why I let him in but I did and he just starting talking about how much he missed me and how much he wanted to get back together and stuff. I almost believed him. Hell, I almost got back with him."
"But then what happened?"
"He asked if I had been with anyone since him and the kiss we shared kind of slipped out." I scowled. She noticed and looked away. "I know you told me to forget about it and I have tried numerous times to forget but I just can't. It was a lot more than just a kiss to me." She sighed softly, wrapping her arms around herself. "So, anyways, after my slip out. He kind of flipped out on me. I'm not hurt but he did rough me up a little bit. I think he was just trying to scare me or just wasn't at his strongest. His last mission left him pretty weak because his team had to fight off a couple rival drug lords." She shook her head. "Either way, I'm kind of freaked out and I thought you might help make me feel better."
"How were you expecting me to make you feel better? If you haven't noticed, I haven't been the happiest guy around."
"I know," she said softly. "I just remembered when you told me that I could talk about anything to you so I decided to take you up on that. I also was wondering if there was still a chance I could take up that offer of you taking me out sometime. As friends, of course." She lightly put her hand over mine. "Look, I know things have been awkward between us since the kiss but I actually do miss your company. I just want us to go back to normal." I nodded.
"Yea. I'd like that if we did too." Slowly, her fingers curled around my hand. The fuzziness began to arise in me. With a sigh, I stopped trying to fight it off with anger. It was obvious that I wasn't getting very far with doing that. The only thing I was doing when I made myself angry was push the people I cared about away. Sure, Dexter was used to my occasional cold shoulder but Amy wasn't. If anything, she probably thought I was upset with her over the kiss we shared. Honestly, I wanted to kiss her again. I wanted to kiss her, hold her, do things to her… I shivered unnoticeably as the lust factor of me started to take over. That was good though. It also got rid of the stupid fuzziness I was feeling but unlike my anger, I could control the lust. Something told me that I had found a new out to finding my way around the stupid emotions I was feeling.
"So, Sally's been bragging about you," Amy said, changing the subject although she still had a grip on my hand. I raised an eyebrow.
"What about me has she been bragging about?"
"Mostly about how good you are at fucking her." I choked on my laugh, amused at Amy's blunt tone. A part of me felt more comfortable now that she was seeming to go back to her old way of talking instead of the crummy, sentimental crap she was spatting before. At least she was beginning to be normal again.
"How good does she say I am?"
"I would tell you but I don't think you wanna see me barf all over this beach."
"What are you tryna say," I asked with a playfully raised eyebrow. She glanced at me, her lips tugging at the ends as she tried not to smile.
"I'm just saying that Sally likes to exaggerate. I bet you're not as good as she says." As soon as the words left her mouth, my hands were on her waist, pushing her down against the sand. It was easy to swing my leg over her so that I straddled her hips, my hands pinning her arms down over her head. Her eyes had widened at the sudden movement as did her breath hitch. I stared down at the surprised but also scared look on her face, my green eyes narrowing.
"You know, I could always show you if that's what you're asking for." Amy's cheeks turned a deep red, obvious even on her tanned skin.
"If you haven't forgotten, I'm into the whole 'let's get freaky on the beach' thing." I leaned down to whisper in her ear. I felt her shiver and heard her breath hitch as my lips brushed against the sensitive skin.
"Don't worry, my beach house is just a few quick steps away. My room isn't too much farther from there."
"Sonic," she whispered. I picked up my head to stare down into her beautiful jade eyes that were saucers as she returned the stare. A smirk took over my lips.
"You never told me to get off," I said before biting my lower lip.
"Get off," she said, her whisper of a tone raising a little bit.
"Hmm, nope." She let out a soft laugh as she threw her head back.
"You are such an ass." I chuckled as I got off her. She hit my shoulder as she sat up. I raised an eyebrow over at her.
"We already fought once, chica and I remember you begging for mercy. Don't make me throw your little ass over my shoulder and throw you into that cold ocean." She raised both eyebrows at me.
"Sonic, have I ever told you how funny you are?"
"Oh, you think I'm playing with you." She smiled widely as I got up. I motioned for her to stand up as well. "Come on, chica."
"If I get up, what type of torture are you planning to inflict on me?" A sneaky smile arose on my face.
"Guess you'll just have to get up and see now won't you." Her smile widened as she got up. I let her wipe some sand off her legs before lunging in and throwing her little ass over my shoulder.
"Hey," she yelled. "Put me down!" She began to punch on my back, her giggles becoming uncontrollable.
"Nope. You asked for this."
"Sonic Maurice Rodriguez, put me down!"
"Oh I'm really not putting you down now," I said as I began to run towards the water. Almost as if on cue, a huge wave began to form. I could only grin as I ran into the cold water. Without a second thought, I flung Amy right into the coming wave. Her high pitched scream was the last thing I heard before I saw the wave engulf her. I couldn't help but to laugh at her. She was on her knees when the water left her, her pink hair soaking down her back like a waterfall. She glared at me. I only grinned back at her. "Hey, I warned you." She growled before starting to run towards me. "Oh shit," I exclaimed before starting to run. I knew she was about to kill me. We ran down the edge of the water for a while before I slowed down enough so that she could tackle me back down into another wave. She giggled as she kept dunking my head down under the salty sapphire waves. I grabbed her legs, wrapping them around my waist as I walked to go a bit deeper in the water. She wrapped her arms around my neck, holding on for dear life. I could only smile at her, taking in her beauty. Even now that she was soaked, she still looked like a goddess. It was amazing how naturally pretty she was. Most girls had to put on loads of makeup to look as beautiful as Amy. I was still mesmerized by her effortless looks.
"What are you staring at," she asked, tilting her head at me. I shook my head.
"Just staring at a beautiful girl that I can't have," I said softly. Her eyes softened as she looked into my eyes. One of her hands came up to cup my cheek, her soft skin causing the fuzziness to rise even higher in me.
"Sonic," she murmured, her voice sad. I shook my head again.
"It's alright, Ames. I know why we can't be together."
"That's not what I was about to say, Sonic. I…I was about to tell you that you should break up with Sally. I mean, she doesn't really matter that much to you, does she? You guys haven't been dating for that long and-"
"Amy, you know that I can't do that. I don't want to break up with her." Her eyebrows came together in confusion.
"So, you do want to be with her?"
"Yes but there's a reason why I do and no it's not sex." She had opened her mouth to probably suggest that so I made sure I cut her off before she could. Now, she just raised an eyebrow at me. "Look, there's just some things that just fit better with her."
"Things that can't fit with me?"
"Yes."
"What things are those then?"
"Amy-"
"Tell me. Tell me one good reason why you're better off with Sally and I'll leave the whole romantic perspective of us alone. I'll let you be with Sally and maybe I'll get back with Scourge."
"Hey, just because I can't be with you doesn't mean you have to be with that douchebag. You deserve better than him."
"You're sidetracking the conversation." I sighed, shaking my head at her. I really was not planning to tell anyone about my condition – especially her. Especially not in the position that we were in. Not with us having fun. Not with me holding her close against me. Not when she was close enough for me to lean my head in and kiss her lips.
"Sally isn't interested in an emotional relationship. All she cares about is the physical and the way her boyfriend looks on her arm. But you, you want a real relationship. You want to have stupid arguments and then laugh about them later. You want someone who will stay by your side through thick and thin. You want someone to cuddle up to at night – someone who will make love to you, not have meaningless sex. You want someone to love you and you want to have someone you love just as much as they love you." I shook my head. "Amy, I can't love you. Not the way you want me to." The moment the words left my mouth, I saw her face crumble. Her eyes watered as she unwrapped her legs from my waist and I was forced to set her down. I hadn't noticed I'd set her right down into a small wave but she didn't seem to mind.
"So, you don't think that you could love me," she asked before starting to take steps that would lead her out of the ocean. I followed suit with her, wanting to reach out for her hand.
"It's not that I don't think I could love you for who you are or anything because I do believe that I could. It's just…complicated."
"How," she asked, her voice lowering. She wouldn't look at me, her slim arms hugging her body tightly.
"Amy, I'm not capable of loving anyone or anything."
"So you can't love or you don't want to."
"Both," I said simply. She stopped walking down that we were back on the dry sand and turned to look up at me. With a sigh, I took hold of her small hands. "Amy, I'm what people call a sociopath or a psychopath – take your pick of term." Her frown deepened on her face.
"So, you don't feel anything? No emotions?"
"Only content and anger."
"And you were born like this?"
"No. Not exactly. I was traumatized when I was very young and whatever state I was in stripped my emotions away."
"Does anyone else know about your condition?"
"Only Dexter and now you."
"Oh…wow." I stroked her cheek gently, her moist skin familiar under my fingers.
"So, it's not that I don't want to love you Amy. It's just that I can't. I can't love anyone to be honest." She nodded, looking away.
"I understand, Sonic." Her voice was so soft and so full of hurt. I wish that I could take back what I said about not being able to love. I should have just taken my chances with her. Who knows, maybe the fuzziness would take over and turn into a new emotion. Maybe even the very emotion she wanted someone to feel for her. "I'm sorry for asking you to break up with Sally, that was selfish of me."
"It's alright." She gently moved my hand off of her face. "Amy, promise me that you won't tell anyone or look at me any differently."
"I promise." She looked up at me, her jade eyes still soft but in an understanding and caring gesture, not one of sadness. "But only if you promise me something."
"And what's that?"
"Promise me that you won't make me fall in love with you." I raised an eyebrow as she let out a soft laugh and shook her head. "Oh wait, I guess it's too late for that."
"What are you saying? Are you in love with me?"
"Not yet," she said, causing my sudden panic to die down. "But I was getting there. Guess a cloud caught me before I hit the ground." She grabbed my shoulder and gave it a squeeze. "Thank you for telling me."
"Amy-"
"No, Sonic. Whatever you're going to say, just no. We're friends, that's all we'll ever be. I know that." She smiled sadly. "Just make Sally happy, okay? Leave me to making her life a living hell." I almost smiled down at her but the sudden sound of her worst enemy and my girlfriend's voice broke the action.
"Wow, I didn't think you'd actually try to go after my boyfriend. He's way out of your league you know," Sally said, causing the both of us to look at her. She was dressed in a royal blue bikini top that pushed up her chest, a fitted jean mini skirt that hung low on her slim hips, and a pair of platform sandals. Her auburn hair hung down over her thin shoulders, her blue eyes contrasting against her tan skin even more with her blue attire.
"Oh, you can keep him," Amy said. "We're just friends." Sally raised an eyebrow, crossing her arms as she came closer to Amy. My partner then widened her eyes and opened her mouth as if she just remembered something out of the blue. "Oh wait, that was exactly what you told me when you were messing around with Scourge."
"Oh please. As if Sonic would go for someone as fat and ugly as you."
"Hey, Sally," I started but she held up her hand to cut me off.
"He could never ever love someone like you." I saw Amy's jade eyes flash before her hand swung out and slapped Sally straight across the face. The other girl seemed surprise at the sudden hit and stared at Amy with wide eyes. Amy only put her hands on her hips.
"You're right, Sally. He's too busy fucking sluts like you to genuinely care about someone as real as me. Sorry to break it to you but just because you're skinny doesn't mean you have what a guy wants. I'd suggest you get implants but I forgot you already did and they still look like you're just hitting puberty." Well damn. Now, that was a comeback.
"You bitch!"
"Yes, I've been called that a lot. You know, I'm thinking about putting that on my grave. Amy Rose, beloved daughter, friend and bitch. Yes I like the sound to that." Sally growled before swinging her hand out to punch Amy but my partner merely moved out the way. "I don't have time to fight with you, Sally."
"What, are you gonna go get back with Scourge's sorry ass?" Amy opened her mouth to answer but looked to me. Her eyes saddened as I lightly shook my head. She couldn't get back with that douchebag. After all the things he'd done to her, she couldn't possibly do that. He would only be worse to her. Besides, I just told her that she didn't deserve that. Couldn't she just listen for once in her life?
"Yes. Yes I am."
"Amy," I started to say, taking a step towards her.
"Shut up, Sonic," she said sharply. She glanced at me, her eyes still a bit sad but yet she hid it when her eyes were on Sally. Amy was good at acting, I'd give her that but I didn't want her back with that Scourge guy. I wanted her to be safe. I wanted her to be with me. "Now if you'll excuse me, whore." Amy pushed Sally out the way before making her way up the wooden walkway that connected the streets to the beach. I could only watch her as she walked away. She knew that she was walking right back into the hell hole she had managed to be thrown out of but she knew that she was doing it to shield her feelings for me. I knew it too. If she was going to suffer then she was going to suffer at the hands of someone who she knew was going to hurt her anyway – not at the hands of someone who didn't know how to do anything else but unintentionally hurt her. I only knew this because I'd seen so many other girls who wanted to be with me go through the same thing. I hadn't exactly told them about my condition but they got the point of what I was trying to say. So, they went back to hurting because they knew that they were going into that stage anyway. I only wished Amy was different from all of those different girls. I guess she wasn't that much different at all. She was just a lonely girl in a big world looking for someone to love. The only exception was that the one she was look to for love was the one who could never return the gesture – no matter how much he wanted to.
Long chapter. again sorry if some of the names are different, writing two different versions. I know I just updated but I'm on a roll with writing this story and I've been so excited to share these chapters with you! Expect the next one soon since it's already written...
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