Galaxy 1001D presents:

Washustein; or the Modern Mad Scientist

Starring Washu Hakubi as Doctor Washu Fitzgerald von Washustein

Tenchi Masaki as Tenchi Mancini

Mihoshi Kuramitsu as Mihoshi Gerstell

Aeka Masaki Jurai as Ayeka Jurai

Sasami Masaki Jurai as Sasami Jurai

And Ryoko as the Monster-woman

Tenchi Muyo and all related characters are © AIC/Pioneer/Genon/Funimation. This story is written solely for entertainment and is not intended to make a profit in any way.

Based on "Frankenstein; or, the Modern Prometheus" created by Mary Shelly

And "Tenchi Muyo" created by Masaki Kajishima

Chapter Seven: Don't Be a Baby

The late night dinner was a little strained. Washu was telling her captive audience how she created the being Sasami called 'Ryoko', giving a long lecture on proteins and amino acids that quite frankly no one could follow. As her top student, Tenchi should have been able to follow the basic theory but as it was he was distracted.

'Baby Washustein' was very distracting. Although the proportions and details of her features could be described as beautiful, the girl's face was as expressive as a chimpanzee's, capable of contorting into ridiculously exaggerated expressions at the drop of a hat.

She had a lot of energy too. Too much energy, while everyone else was tired after a stressful and busy day. As Mihoshi served the meal, Sasami and Ayeka heroically tried to feed the full-grown infant. Although she didn't seem to possess the strength of Hercules, Baby Washustein's unrestrained enthusiasm made the task of feeding her Herculean.

"Okay," Sasami said as she made slow circular gestures with a spoonful of porridge in front of the creation's nose. "The knight needs to enter the castle to save the fair damsel. Ta-rump-ta-rump-ta-rump-ta-rump!" she said as she made galloping noises and snaked the spoon into the creation's mouth.

"Now quit grabbing things and sticking them into your mouth!" Ayeka scolded as she held onto the new woman's arms. "That is disgusting, and if you want to taste something, Sasami is trying to feed you!"

"So you see, the deoxyribonucleic acid controls the intracellular pangenesis of all living things," the mad scientist lectured, seemingly oblivious to the Jurai sisters' heroic struggle to feed her creation. "The 'pangen' or 'gene' for short is the smallest particle representing a hereditary characteristic…"

"Washu how can you just sit there and give a lecture while the woman you created is being spoon-fed like a baby?" Tenchi asked her.

"I don't understand why you can't see the importance of my achievement," Washu huffed. "I have created life where there was none. I have created a fully-grown human being without being put out of commission for nine months. I have created a human who is smarter, faster, and stronger than your average woman and all you can do is criticize. I haven't bred a new breed of dog; I've created a new type of man!"

"That's the point!" Tenchi insisted. "She isn't a dog, or a unicorn, a hippogriff or any other creation from your menagerie! She's a human being! You say you've created a superior human, but the poor thing will be stuck in a freak show! She will never fit in normal society, you made her too weird!"

"Too weird?" Washu frowned. "Bite your tongue Tenchi! Baby Washustein is perfect!"

"Look at her!" Tenchi gestured. "What big ears she has!"

"All the better to hear you with."

"What about her eyes?" Tenchi asked. "They're as yellow as a lemon!"

"I wanted her to have superior vision, so I gave her the eyesight of an eagle," Washu shrugged. "Just think what fine soldiers her people will be. She'll be able to pick off an insect at two hundred yards."

"Soldiers?" Tenchi asked.

"Well, yeah," Washu shrugged. "I figure that after I die there will be enough of her kind to take over the world and usher in a new golden age."

"And you still wonder why I broke up with you?" Tenchi shook his head sadly.

"Yeah, I still can't figure it out…" Washu put her hand over her mouth and gazed up at the ceiling, becoming lost in thought.

"Washu, the point I'm trying to make is that Baby Washustein isn't a new race; she's an individual who is all alone in the world. You've created someone who isn't part of any race, religion, or nationality. She's doesn't even know how to feed herself. She isn't going to conquer the world."

"Why didn't I listen to my parents?" Washu sighed. "Instead of burying them alive so I could get the inheritance?"

Everyone at the table with the exception of her creation froze and stared at the redhead in silent horror.

"Huh?" Washu shook her head as if waking up from a dream. "Did I say that out loud?" Her cheeks blushed crimson as she sheepishly smiled. "Just pretend you didn't hear that."

"I will, otherwise I'll never get to sleep tonight," Ayeka announced.

"So, what have you decided to name her?" Tenchi asked, desperately attempting to make small talk.

"Who?" Washu asked, still distracted.

"Baby Washustein," Tenchi nodded to her creation who was burbling happily in her chair.

"Oh. Well when creating woman it's customary to call the first one 'Eve'," Washu replied.

"It's customary to create woman?" Tenchi commented sarcastically.

"You can't call her 'Eve'!" Ayeka argued. "That's too sacrilegious!"

"Why not?" Washu shrugged. "I knew a Spaniard called 'Jesus' once."

"Why don't we call her 'Ryoko'?" Sasami asked. "That's what she named herself."

"Ryoko!" Baby Washustein hooted.

"That's not what she named herself," Washu retorted. "She's just mispronouncing Ryo-ohki's name."

"Ryoko!" Baby Washustein reached out for a terrified Ryo-ohki. The little cabbit jumped off Sasami's head to scamper away into the darkness.

"I still think that we should call her 'Ryoko'," Sasami said. "It was her first word and it fits her."

"It's a good thing her first word wasn't 'underpants'." Washu muttered irritably. She addressed her creation in a commanding tone. "Eve, sit up straight and stop spitting up on Ayeka. Eve, I'm talking to you!"

Baby Washustein completely ignored her creator and flung a handful of porridge into the air.

"Ryoko, your mother's talking to you," Sasami said in a quiet voice.

The cyan-haired woman quieted and gave the child her full attention.

"Eve?" Tenchi said quietly. When there was no response he tried again. "Ryoko?"

Baby Washustein's head turned in Tenchi's direction and she smiled expectantly. Despite the unnerving feral qualities of the woman there was something innocent and likeable about her.

"I guess her name is 'Ryoko'," he announced. "She doesn't respond to any other name."

"Fine," Washu fumed. "Supper's over. It's time to turn in. Tomorrow you leave first thing in the morning. I want you guys to stay away from my experiment and stop introducing her to random influences."

Ryoko flung some more porridge into the air and this time it hit Washu in the face. "Woo-hoo!" Baby Washustein cheered.

"Certainly Washu," Ayeka said with acid dripping from her voice. "I'd like to see how you manage taking care of a full-grown infant by yourself."

"I have Mihoshi to help me," Washu said defensively as she cleaned herself with a handkerchief.

"Correction: Two full-grown infants by yourself," Ayeka smirked.

At that moment, a crash of thunder shook the castle, causing everyone to jump in his or her seats. The storm that stranded Tenchi and the Jurai sisters sounded as if it was trying to break in. Sasami and Ayeka instinctively hugged each other and shivered.

Baby Washustein's reaction was just as explosive. She jumped out of her seat and crawled across the table knocking glasses and trays over while whining like a dog.

"Now Ryoko!" Tenchi said as he rose to his feet and reached out to her. "Calm down! It's only thunder."

Ryoko reached out to Tenchi and he hoisted her off the table and into his arms. She wrapped her arms and legs around him and cried on his shoulder.

"There, there," he whispered in her ear. "Its all right. You're perfectly safe…"

Ryoko spit up on him.

"Yuck," he shuddered.

"Time for bed!" Washu announced as she rung a bell. "Mihoshi clear the table. We're going to turn in."

"Yes master," Mihoshi said as she appeared in the doorway.

"Mistress, you moron!" Washu snarled.

"Sorry master," Mihoshi apologized. "It won't happen again, Lord Washu."

The blonde yelped and ducked when the irate redhead threw a knife at her.

"Do you need any help tucking Ryoko in?" Tenchi asked.

"Sure, knock yourselves out," Washu shrugged.

"Miss Washu!" Ayeka stamped her foot indignantly. "You complain about us influencing your creation, but so far you haven't done a thing to take care of her! What Tenchi ever saw in such a heartless woman is a mystery to me!"

"Ayeka, the solution to five times five is mystery to you," Washu retorted.

"Five times five!" Mihoshi snapped her fingers. "I think I know this one!"

"Be quiet Mihoshi," Washu snapped. "If I want to her a moron talk, I'll pay a visit to the village idiot."

"I used to be a village idiot," Mihoshi sighed. "But I got fired. It was too bad; I was really good at it too."

For a moment everyone was quiet with the exception of Ryoko who was making little bubbly cooing noises. She had stopped crying and seemed fascinated with Tenchi's face. Although she still clung to him with her arms and legs wrapped around him, she freed one of her hands to paw at his nose and pull at his lips.

Ayeka put her hands on her hips and sighed in surrender. "All right, I give up. Somebody has to ask her. Mihoshi, how did you lose your job as village idiot?"

The dimwitted domestic squirmed uncomfortably. "Well, people kept mistaking me for a prostitute, so I was let go. They said I was giving the town a bad reputation."

"Mihoshi, you could give any community a bad reputation just by announcing your citizenship," Washu said disdainfully. "If a stranger met you in town they would think Ingolstadt was filled with nothing but brainless blonde bimbos who are dumb enough to think that a bridal shower is for washing bridals. Now clean up before I ask you to clear out."

"Yes Lord Washu!" Mihoshi saluted nervously.

"Lady Washu!" the redhead shrieked irritably, causing her creation to leap to the floor and lope off on all fours in a convincing imitation of Ryo-ohki. "That's Lady Washu you fool! Do I have to take off my blouse to prove that I'm a woman?"

"If you did remove your blouse, I fail to see what that would prove," Ayeka sneered icily as Tenchi and Sasami chased Ryoko. "With you it is difficult to tell the back from the front."

"Keep it up, Ayeka and I'll introduce something into your bloodstream that will turn you inside out," the little scientist warned her.

"Talk like that and eliminating you will be self-defense and not murder," Ayeka retorted in an identically threatening tone.

"Okay, break it up girls," Tenchi said as he placed himself between them. "We're all tired and irritable right now. Let's just go to bed so that morning can come and we can get as far away from each other as possible."

"Will my hair and eyes ever get back to normal?" Ayeka asked.

"That depends," Washu smirked. "Are you still planning to marry Tenchi?"

"Well, purple is my favorite color I just don't know…" Ayeka said with false boredom. "My night vision has gotten really good since my eyes changed…"

"Hurgh!" Washu grunted in frustration. Despite her efforts, Ayeka was made of sterner stuff and could give back as much as she took. It was actually admirable in a frustrating irritating way. "You'll crack!" the redhead threatened. "You've got to! No one can hold out forever!"

"Just because you cracked doesn't mean that I will," Ayeka assured her. "Perhaps you should sleep with one eye open tonight, Miss Washu. I certainly will…"

"Ayeka, we are guests in Doctor Washustein's house," Sasami pointed out.

"If we are guests then the good doctor needs to learn some lessons in hospitality," Ayeka sniffed. "But you're right. I shouldn't sink to her level. Good night Doctor Washustein," she said dryly. "Pleasant dreams."

"Yeah you too," Washu grunted. She looked around. "Hey, has anybody seen Baby Washustein?"

"She must have crawled away," Tenchi said as he glanced about the room. "I'm sorry I wasn't paying attention." He had been paying attention actually. Unfortunately he had been paying attention to Ayeka and Washu in case he had to intervene to keep their feud from escalating. To be honest, watching the two women he loved being so vicious to each other was cutting his heart in two. He had assumed that Mihoshi would be watching Ryoko. "Mihoshi, do you know where Ryoko is?"

The blonde housekeeper had been clearing the table by transferring the dirty dishes to a serving cart. "What?" Mihoshi gasped in surprise. "Ryoko's gone missing? Oh no! If anything happens to her, I'll be the stupidest person in the house again!"

Next: Sleepless Night