A/N: Hello my wonderful readers and friends!
I'm soooooooo sorry it's taken me this long to update. I truly hadn't been expecting all of the obstacles I've run into the past week and a half and it just blindsided me. On top of school work and other general stuff, I recently had a death in my family that, while it wasn't completely unexpected, still shocked me at its arrival. During that time I was also writing, but my work was just a tad on the morbid side and I really didn't want to incorporate that into this for obvious reasons, but I DO want to extend a huge hug to everyone in my online community who has helped me through this difficult time…you guys don't know what it means to have your support and I couldn't have gotten through all of it without you!
I have been keeping up with the latest episodes of TWD as well of course, and my recap goes as follows…Ep 9 was great in that Chandler and Danai both blew me away…and yes I posted a pic of myself eating chocolate pudding on tumblr afterwards because I'm a dork. Ep 10 was THE RETURN OF MY KING AND QUEEN! (although sadly not in the same place and the same time) but Daryl's face every time Beth started whining made me laugh so freaking hard…especially when instead of apologizing for being a jerk he offered her his handy snot rag as a truce. Then there was Ep 11, which was also good but fairly creepy in the grand scheme of things. Michonne and Carl cracking jokes and talking and smiling made me very happy, but I'm definitely not loving the new crew with Glenn and Tara (although I'm loving all of their stuff right now too…Glenn is hell bent on getting back to Maggie and Tara's growing on me real quick) but we'll have to see how that all turns out. Not sure what to think about the preview for next week yet, but all in all, the entire cast has blown me away so far in this half of the season and I can't wait to see what else they have in store for us!
So we are definitely coming close to the end of this story, but I am so happy that people are loving it as much as they are. Once again, I'm sorry that I had to postpone it for a bit, but now it's back and ready to go! Nothing makes a writer happier than knowing people really like what they are doing and I've had nothing but positive comments all the way around on this one. What can I say…you ladies love your Caryl! I just hope I can do it all justice in the end:-) Love you guys!
Disclaimer: I have been in search for a 112oz can of chocolate pudding at my local grocery stores, but sadly I have yet to find one. I'll just have to make do with Crazy Cheese for now:-)
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Carol was relieved when her body finally stopped convulsing and her skin began to regain its normal color and feeling again. It was Daryl's quick thinking that had probably saved her from losing a few fingers and possibly succumbing to pneumonia, but she had almost gone into cardiac arrest at the shock of realizing just how he was planning to do it. She watched in utter bewilderment as he proceeded to remove nearly every article of clothing, only to turn around and do the same to her before crushing his body tightly against hers in a ways that made her eternally thankful she had lost the ability to blush. As many times as she'd imagined them lying together naked next to a roaring fire, this definitely wasn't the way she wanted to go about it.
Despite the awkwardness and the misunderstanding from earlier, Daryl had put his issues aside and been there for her when she needed him. It was only further proof in her eyes of just what this man was really capable of. The feeling of being nestled in his arms was one she had wanted to experience for some time, even if the sensations she was feeling at that moment weren't exactly pleasant. She did her best to relax herself, trying to focus on the sound of his breathing and the soothing rhythm of his heart to get through the worst of the shaking, and soon enough she was feeling much warmer and a lot calmer. Unfortunately the moment he was convinced that she would live to see another day; Daryl quickly untangled himself and put his clothes back on before planting himself down feet away from her at the base of the hearth. It was possible that he was still angry with her on some level, but she didn't sense that was the real reason he'd moved away. Maybe he'd figured it would be easier for her if they weren't quite so wrapped up in each other, but it'd hurt nonetheless.
She was still struggling with exactly how to make things right again. Coming out and telling him the truth would only make him angrier because he'd be thinking that she was only saying it to make him feel better even though that couldn't be farther from the truth. In many ways, trying to talk Daryl was like trying to play an advanced round of chess. You needed skill and patience to be able to get very far with it, but once you knew how the rules worked, it was easy to anticipate what he would say or do next. The hardest part was countering his actions so it didn't throw off the game…and sadly, she didn't always win the match.
"Thank you again." She sat up, trying to give her muscles a chance to stretch. "Really…you saved the day."
His face tilted towards her slightly, lit by the glow of the fire. "S'no big deal'."
"It was a big deal to me. If it weren't for you, I'd probably be a human popsicle right now."
"You were there for a bit." He chuckled lightly, turning back around to face her. "Was like cozyin' up to an igloo."
"True…but look." She lifted her blanket away from her feet and wiggled her toes. "Nothing fell off. I'd say you did a pretty good job."
To her surprise, Daryl raised his arm up and took one of her feet in his hand, running his thumb back and forth over the sensitive skin. It was a simple gesture but it sent a tingling sensation up her leg that made her whole body suddenly feel like it was on fire. He looked up at her a moment later, his eyes burning into hers with such intensity she forgot to breathe. Then without a sound, he lowered her foot back to the floor again, his hand still lingering for a few precious seconds.
"Still kinda cold but a lot better than they were." He said, looking away again. "Guess I did one thing right today."
Carol's first instinct with a comment like that would've been to scold him for putting himself down, but she'd momentarily lost the ability to talk again. It always seemed to happen at the most inconvenient moments, like when she was trying to tell him how amazing she thought he was. It baffled her at how one single touch from him could affect her whole body and make her want to throw away caution and just lose herself in it. If he kept reaching out to caress her feet liked that, pretty soon she was going to need a new pair of panties.
Before she could think of a witty comment to throw back at him, Daryl stood up and walked over towards the entryway. She watched silently as he picked up one of the boxes that was stacked in a pile by the door and walked it back over to where she sat.
"Brought these up for ya." He said, laying it down in front of her. "Figured it'd keep us outta trouble for a while."
Carol smirked, finally regaining her sense of humor. "What, no more wine?"
"I ain't lettin' ya near that bottle again." He griped, walking back over to get his own box. "God knows where you'll wander off to next."
She rolled her eyes. "Ha. Ha. You're sooo funny."
He threw her one of his patented annoyed look. "Just open the damn box already."
Not wanting to push her luck, Carol secured the blanket around herself before lifting the flaps of the box open and peering inside. Daryl came back over and sat next to her with a box of his own, looking about as eager to open it as a kid being forced to eat his vegetables.
"So what exactly are we looking for again?" She asked, sifting her hands through the articles in the box. Nothing looked particularly exciting in this one.
"Anything that can help us out." He peeked inside, but his expression didn't get any better. "Maybe some tools if we can find 'em. Left most of mine back at the prison to make room for supplies. Not sure what I'm gonna need to fix the bike."
"Tools…got it."
"We don't gotta lot of room in the saddlebags, so we gotta limit what we take." He sighed, holding up a crocheted doily. "This for instance, ain't gonna help nothin'."
"Oh I don't know about that." Carol took the doily out of his hands to inspect. "It would make a lovely seat cover for the bike…or it could be a new type of handkerchief-"
"Gimme that." He grabbed it back out of her hands, throwing her one of his patented scowls. "You officially lost your mind out in that shed." He shook his head. "A seat cover…"
Carol tried to hold back her giggles but it was pretty comical. Even Daryl managed a small chuckle before throwing the article across the room and digging back into the box. After a few more minutes, it was clear that they were full of mementos that probably meant plenty to someone else, but held nothing of significant value to them, so they pushed them aside and Daryl got the other two still sitting by the door. He pushed one over with his foot for her and got the other one for himself before settling back down again. From the minute he opened his box, there was an audible gasp out of his mouth. She looked over, intrigued.
"What is it?"
"If I didn't know better…I'd say someone stole this outta my old room." He pushed the flaps aside, taking in the scene in front of him. "Ain't of much use to me now but damn it brings back some memories."
"Let me see." Carol scooted closer to take a look, but found herself puzzled at what her eyes took in. Apparently it was an acquired taste. "It looks like a bunch of CD's and some old flannel shirts."
"I know." He pulled out some of the discs to thumb through. "Nirvana…Alice in Chains…Soundgarden..." His pulled out a pair of old worn combat boots. "This is fuckin' epic. Makes me feel like a damn teenager again. This was the kinda stuff I used to thrive on."
"Really?" Her eyebrows flew up in surprise. "I never took you for a grunge kid."
"Hell yeah." He grinned. "My old man hated it…he and Merle were into classic rock but I always loved the harder stuff. When he'd go out on benders I'd put these albums on and blast them as loud as I could."
"I'm surprised you didn't have your neighbors calling the cops on you."
He spat. "They were a bunch of old farts who couldn't hear anyhow. I coulda set off firecrackers in their yard and they never woulda known."
Carol laughed. "Now why do I get the feeling that you actually tried that?"
His smirk told her it was probably true. "I'm tellin' ya…I used to live for this stuff. Felt like they were talkin' directly to me. Like someone else out there finally understood." He turned to her, his face full of euphoria. "In my whole life, it was the only time I ever really got to just be myself…to feel good 'bout something."
Carol could see the sentiment in his eyes as he took in the memories he'd probably lost so long ago, and her heart broke at the realization that this was all he'd probably had in the world that had made him feel like he had some self-worth. At least she'd had moments in her life that had filled her with joy, despite the hard times. With Daryl, however, it was different. He'd never had anything worth wanting. The simplest things in the world had been his only comfort.
"I'm glad at least you had that to get you through the tough times."
He shrugged. "Wasn't all bad though. Still had some good times too."
"Oh yeah? Like what?"
Daryl leaned back, his mind focused on another lifetime. "Used to have some good friends back then too. We'd get in all kinds o' trouble together, but they could never get us on anything concrete. We were sneaky."
"I'll bet you were." Carol leaned back as well after making sure the blankets were still secured. "So you were a sneaky grunge bandit…there anything else I don't know about you?"
"Nothin' else worth knowin' really."
"What about a girlfiend? I'm sure you've had your share of them too."
"Nah, not really." Daryl brushed it off like it was nothing. "Didn't have time for girls back then. Sure as hell don't now."
"What was you first kiss like?"
"Can't say I remember it real well. I was pretty drunk at the time."
"How old were you?"
His face scrunched up. "Bout thirteen. It was with the neighbor girl. She was a lil' older than me and she said she wanted to practice french kissin' on someone so she could get good at it for when the boys started askin' her out. I volunteered."
Carol's eyes widened. "Your first kiss was with tongue?"
"Yeah, but it wasn't as much fun as I wanted it to be." He made a face. "She kinda slobbered all over me and then threw up on my shoes from what I remember."
"Oh no." Carol's hands flew up to her face to try and hide the giggles. "God I would have died if someone had done that to me."
"What was your first kiss like?"
She rolled her eyes. Of course he'd ask. "It was plain and boring really. It was with this boy I was in class with. He kissed me as we were walking home after school one day."
"How old were ya?"
She blushed. "Seventeen. I was a pretty late bloomer…boys really weren't interested in me."
"Now I know that's bullshit." He said; his tone almost serious. "They were. Just didn't know how to approach ya. You ain't the kinda girl a guy takes behind the bleachers at half time."
"Sounds like you had some practice with that as well."
"Maybe…"
Carol decided to go in for the kill. "Besides…you didn't know me back then. For all you know, I really was that kind of girl."
"Yeah right…"
She smirked. "I did actually have a thing for bad boys. Just something about them really got me going."
Daryl looked like he was gonna choke on his teeth. "Bad boys? You?"
"Ed was sort of a bad boy at first." She admitted, trying to focus her attention on anything but Daryl's face. She could already feel him staring at her. "Of course, I didn't know just how bad at that point, but that was kind of the thing that drew me in initially. He wasn't like any of the other boys I'd dated before."
"When'd you know he was the one?"
She sighed, her happy memory beginning to fade. "I don't know that I ever really did. We just went together for so long and he became so possessive of me that I just never considered another option. I was too consumed in trying to make him happy…it never occurred to me that I didn't actually love him."
Daryl continued to stare at her, but he was silent at her response. It must have been difficult for him to hear that she'd put up with the abuse for so long only to admit to him that she never loved her abuser. He was probably wondering if his mother had been in the same position. In many ways, Carol got the impression that she reminded Daryl of his mother…a woman with the potential to do so much more and yet too scared to venture out on her own and take the chance of being alone. God only knew what would have become of her if things had been different. Carol couldn't even picture her life with Ed anymore, but if everything hadn't changed so drastically she might just as well be in the same spot she'd been in before. She'd truly gotten a second chance in the midst of a world gone to hell, and suddenly felt desperately sad for the woman who never got that moment to prove to herself she was worth the risk.
"Even if I never truly loved Ed, he still gave me Sophia." She said, trying to ease the pain of her words. "She was my one ray of light in the darkness. I'll never know that kind of unconditional love again but I'm glad I had it for the time I did. It was the purest thing in my life."
"That little girl loved you more than anything." Daryl said, his voice sure and steady. "And you loved her. Everyone could see it. Even a stubborn redneck like me."
Carol had no idea what possessed her, but she heard herself saying the words anyway. "I know you regret not being able to find her and save her Daryl, but you have to know that I never blamed you for any of it. She wouldn't want you to either."
"I know."
"It's the same with Merle too." She continued, her eyes focusing on the profile of his face. "He did what he had to so that we could have a chance at living. He couldn't stand the thought of losing you either. It was his most selfless gift and he did it all for you."
He stayed silent for a moment; his arms now wrapped around his legs as he sat pondering her reply. Eventually, he looked back over at her, his face still a mask. "I knew what was gonna happen. Chances of me findin' him alive were bad from the start. Thought I could catch lightning in a bottle twice, but I shoulda known better. My odds've never been good."
Carol stared back, her mind trying to relive the events during that time. "Lightning in a bottle? What do you mean?"
When his eyes finally met hers, they were filled with sincerity. "The day I found ya in the tombs…I'd spent all day preparin' myself for what I was gonna have to do, but then by some miracle you were all right. By the time I got to Merle, it was too late, but in the end I knew it would be cause I already got the one thing I'd been hopin' for."
Carol's breath caught in her throat. His words were so honest and heartfelt that they nearly brought her to tears. After everything they had been through together in the last year, let alone the last 24 hours, his only concern was for her safety. He'd always put her first, and she had never understood it because he had no reason to. Now she truly realized the depths to which he cared…out of all the people that died that day, Daryl had taken her loss the hardest and he hadn't let her forget it since. They were connected on a level that didn't even need words most of the time. She could sense what he was going to do and she knew he could do the same with her. It was the purest, most genuine kind of love she had ever felt in her entire life, and even though he wouldn't admit it, she knew he felt the same. She had to make him see what it meant to her…it couldn't be put off any longer.
Refusing to let herself back down this time, Carol lifted herself up onto her knees and moved over until she was sitting right in front of him. His hands came loose around he as she pushed herself up in between his legs; raising up her hand to brush the dark fringe of hair out of his face so she could look in his eyes. He was getting ready to question her actions, but before he could get the words out, she brushed her lips gently across the corner of his mouth. Daryl's throat hitched at her action, but he didn't move away either, and she felt his arms tighten ever so slowly around her waist like he was trying to fight his urge to bring her closer. Carol stayed in close contact, gently prodding his nose with hers; the feeling of his breath hot against her skin heightening all of her senses. He needed to know exactly what this was.
"When you asked me before which one of you I would choose...who I would want beside me when things got rough…I froze because I couldn't believe that you would ever question it. I've never had a bond like this with anyone before Daryl. There's no one I would ever want by my side other than you." She closed her eyes, her mind trying desperately to focus on what she needed to say. "There was never another choice for me…it will always be you in every capacity. I will always want you."
She couldn't view his reaction, but she knew that he still hadn't pulled away. There was still hope. "But what you said…I thought you were tryin' to make Rick jealous."
"Rick's been the one nudging me to say something to you. He knows how we both feel about each other and he wanted one of us to make a move." She opened her eyes again, coming in direct contact with his steely gaze. "This is me making a move."
Daryl stared back her as the heat between them continued to build with such intensity that she thought she might just pass out from it. His eyes finally left hers and flicked down to her mouth, but still made no advances towards closing the small gap of distance between them. She saw his tongue dart and moisten his perfect lips, making her stomach do flip flops in anticipation of what could finally happen. His hands came up to her waist solidly while his legs trapped her frame between them. She drew his eyes back up to hers, but this time there was no hesitation. He was finally ready. It was the confirmation he'd been waiting for.
"Okay."
A/N: **flailing** Oh I'm SOOOOOO glad to finally get this out for people to see! I just hope it lived up to the wait! I'm working on 8 now and there will probably be another one to follow wrapping it all up but keep in mind I have a decent amount of stuff on my plate , so while I'd love to say the next chapter will be out tomorrow, I can't even guarantee this weekend. As much as I'd love to drown you all with my smut in a timely manner (hehe), please understand that I'm doing my best to get this out to you as quickly as possible and I appreciate the patience:-)
In the meantime, please check out the music video (YES I SAID MUSIC VIDEO) that accompanies my story, which was made by the wonderful and talented Amy (aka adelicateflower08) and is available to watch on YouTube. It's amazing and it totally made me cry because she is brilliant and I secretly wish I had her mad skills when it comes to editing lol. Don't forget to subscribe to her page as well if you haven't already cause she's so close to 1000 followers it isn't even funny! Okay guys that's all for now. LLACO!
