Disclaimer: As before.
Months past quickly. Winter turned in spring. Spring soon turned back into summer. I had been with them for a year now and it had been the best year of my life. At first I hadn't liked being with Sesshoumaru and Rin. Now I couldn't imagine being without them. For the first time in my life I felt like I belonged and I would do anything to keep it that way.

Most of the winter was spent at the castle. We only left once the snow melted and it began to get warmer. While there I had happened to mention that I couldn't read or write. Since Rin couldn't either we were both made to learn. I hated it; I only stuck at it because it would be worth it to be able to read the language. I picked it up easier than Rin; she struggled with it worse than me.

Though that wasn't the only thing I was made to learn during those few months. I also spent several hours of the day training to improve my fighting. Sesshoumaru wanted me to learn to fight properly so that I could protect Rin when he wasn't there. I didn't have a problem with this as I had always enjoyed fighting. The only thing I didn't like was that I had to learn to fight with a sword. I had practised with swords before but found that I fought better with knives. I had to spend a long time building up my strength for sword fighting. But in the end it was well worth it. By the end of those three months I fought better than I had even fought in my life.

I had thought that I was doing well for once in my life. But I should have known things wouldn't continue going as they had been. Memories that I had thought I had forgotten began to haunt my mind once again. My past became my weakness once again and I was fighting feelings that I had never realised I could feel.

"Amaya are you alright?" Rin asked.

I looked up; I had been deep in thought again. "Yeah, Rin I'm fine." I told her. But I wasn't. I kept getting flashbacks to things that I hadn't thought I could remember. While Rin went to sleep that night, I couldn't. As hard as I tired I just couldn't get the thoughts out of my head.


Amaya was awake again. This was the third time in about a month when she hadn't gone to sleep. "Go to sleep," I told her.

"I can't," she said.

"Why?What's wrong?" I asked. I couldn't believe I just said that, since when did I start caring about this human?

"Nothing, you don't what to know anyways."

"I do want to know, that's why I asked."

She looked up at me, her face slightly flushed but her eyes full of sadness. I had never seen her like this before. She always seemed so strong for a human.

"I was just thinking that's all if my real family ever thought about me and what they were like." She said.

"Your real family?" I asked.

"Yeah, see the family that I lived with weren't my real family. They adopted me when I was four. And up until now I couldn't remember where I had come from or who my family were. All I remembered was what they told me, that I was found walking in the forest when I was a small kid. I didn't speak a word of English. In fact I could only speak Japanese. I still have the necklace that I was wearing that day. It was the only thing I was left with from my real family. They tried for months to find my parents but they were never found and after 6 months I was adopted by the family that I lived with up until I was 16." She said. Her eyes clouded over as the words left her mouth. She got up and ran out of the clearing.


I got up and ran out of the clearing. There were tears pouring down my face. Why did this affect me so much now? I never cried. It was weak to cry I couldn't cry. I leant against a tree; I felt this unfamiliar ache in my chest. I didn't know what this was. I had never felt like this before. Stupid memories. Why did they have to come back now? It wasn't as if it would even make a difference now.

I remembered in the children's home that they took me to for those first few months. The amount of times they asked me what I could remember about my home, my parents and my life. Not once had I been able to answer their questions. I simply hadn't been able to remember and now flashback of a past I hadn't been able to remember before, were coming to me and I couldn't stop them.

That wasn't the only feeling that bothered me. Just now when Sesshoumaru had been talking to me I felt something else as well. Something that was also entirely new to me. When I had looked at him, I felt this sort of fluttering in my stomach and my face began to feel warm.

Someone came up behind me and stepped out in front of me. It was Sesshoumaru, but then again what else was I expecting.

"Leave me alone!" I shouted at him. I didn't want anyone to see me cry. Then Sesshoumaru did the most unexpected thing ever. He didn't tell me to stop crying like I had seen him do a million times before when Rin was crying. Instead he just held me. For a moment I was too shocked to do anything then I just relaxed and hugged him back. The fluttery feeling in my stomach was back but I stopped crying and just closed my eyes. I had never felt this safe before in my entire life. It was hard to believe someone as cold as Sesshoumaru could be this comforting.


I went after her. I could smell her tears even from this distance. She had never cried before and I couldn't help but wonder what was wrong. When I found her she told me to leave her alone. Usually I would have her to stop crying. I really couldn't stand it when human females cried. But when I saw her cry I just felt this really unfamiliar ache in my chest. I reached out and just held her. I didn't know why I did it; I just didn't like seeing her crying.

She stopped crying and pulled back. We walked back to the clearing in silence. I wasn't much one for talking anyways.


When we got back to the clearing I sat back down. I had stopped crying but only just. I still felt like I would start again if I spoke. Sesshoumaru for some reason sat down beside me. I hugged my knees and willed myself not to cry again.


"Where am I? Where is my family?" A little girl asked.

'Honey, what is your name?"

"Who are you? I want to go home?"


"No, please don't hurt me," I said. "I'll be good from now on."

"You've defied me for the last time." A man said to a little girl. She was me. But I didn't recognise the man. He had very pale skin like mine. But his hair and eyes were different; he had long black curly hair and dark red eyes. The little girl was curled up in the corner shaking.


The little girl was running through a forest, she was wearing a yakuta. "No, please I don't want to die." She screamed as a bright light engulfed her body. She was gone from that forest but in another.


My eyes widened before I started crying again. I recognised the little girl, she was me. These were my memories from before I was with my adoptive family. But why was I only remembering now. My eyes feel with tears before I could stop myself. I felt someone put there arm around me and hold me close to them. I cried for a while and after I felt really tired. I closed my eyes and before I knew it I was asleep.


She fell asleep, why did I feel this way when she was upset? After she had been thinking for a while she starting crying again. It was like an instinctive reaction I couldn't say why but I just reached out and held her again. She stopped crying after a while and fell asleep at last.

She was so peaceful in her sleep. When she was awake she hardly ever let down her defences. In a way she was like me. She hardly ever let anyone get to know her. She hardly ever let people know how she felt. I hardly ever slept but tonight I fell asleep holding her like that.


I woke up just as the sun was rising. I tired to get up but found I couldn't. I looked down to see someone holding me by the waist. I looked up to see it was Sesshoumaru. I blushed slightly, this was rather strange. I remembered what had happened the previous night. I hung my head for a moment. I couldn't believe I had starting crying like that. I hadn't cried since my sister had died. Sesshoumaru was asleep, but something told me he would wake up if I tired to move. It felt really good being this close to Sesshoumaru and I didn't know why. I just closed my eyes again; it wouldn't make much of a difference if I slept a bit longer.

"Sesshoumaru-sama, what are you doing with that human!" Jaken's voice shouting woke me up again.

I opened my eyes, Sesshoumaru was awake as well.

"Jaken, shut up!" Sesshoumaru ordered him.

"Yes, Sesshoumaru-sama." Jaken said running away before Sesshoumaru could hit him.

Sesshoumaru let go of me and I got up. Just in time as well because Rin chose that moment to wake up.

"Morning Amaya, how are you?" she asked.

I just smiled. "Morning Rin, I'm alright."


A/N: Thanks so much to my reviewers. Sorry I don't have time to reply to them this time. But I will next time I promise. Hope you enjoyed this chapter. This leads on to everything that happens in the later chapters. Also if anyone can guess who the mystery guy is and how Amaya knows him, I'll dedicate the next chapter to you. I'm always aware that Sesshoumaru is probably extremely OOC which I apolgise for but it's the only way that this works.