Ok… some people wanted to know why Prowler was in the med bay in the first place in chapter 2 and here is the answer.

A/N: It is my own opinion that Transformers don't have a real gender like we humans do (or other organic mammals) so the concept of male and female (along with the pronouns "he" and "she") are just something they use to make us humans understand them a little better. And after hanging out with us for so long they have continued to use them and even adopted them into their own thinking… to a point.

Also info about hairballs found at http://www. catsofaustralia . com/ hairballs-cats . htm and Ratchet's definition of a hairball is found at Wikipedia.

Disclaimer: I don't own Transformers. Twostrokes is owned by MariaShadow (an author on fanfiction. net). Flight kitty is owned by elvenarchress (another author on fanfiction. net), and Sandy kitty is owned by Flight kitty (thought we're not quite sure if she realizes this). The only kittens I own are Blue kitty and Prowler, well as much as you can own a cat.

Beta read by Lament of Meow. And thanks to ToaVeka who badgers me into remember to write and helped me find all my muses and plot bunnies (Or kitties in this case).


Feline Escapades of the Autocats – Weird noises (which lead to grossness and Jazz finding something new to tease Prowl about)

Prowl enjoyed those moments when no one bothered him and everything in the Autobot base was quiet (well, as quiet as things ever got with as many pranksters and rambunctious bots with far too much energy that lived on the Ark). In these moments Prowl could sit, relax, and catch up on paper work or read a book. Recently Prowl had a companion in these moments (as well as many others). Its name was Prowler, a small black and white kitten taken in by Bluestreak and Fireflight. And while the other kittens seemed to be taken with the gunner and flyer, Prowler seemed to have taken a shine to its namesake, Prowl. Prowler would sit herself on top of one of Prowl's datapads and stare at it as if reading it. Prowl found this illogical, how could an Earth feline read Cybertronian? But Prowl allowed Prowler to say, mostly for the fact that no attempt at making the kitten leave was successful and in the end it was far more productive to just let the kitten be as long as it didn't get in the way.

It was during one such occasion, when Prowler and Prowl were enjoying a moment of peace, when Prowler started to cough and hack.

Prowl looked over at his furred companion, "Why are you making that sound?" And as soon as the question was made, Prowl realized that was very illogical of him, to ask a feline that did not speak any language that Prowl spoke what was wrong with it. Also for the fact that the hacking sound seemed to make it impossible to hear any other noise. Prowl was unsure as to what to do while he waited for the hacking to stop and attempted to figure out what to do (and at this moment realized that he know almost nothing about how to take care of cats) when a pile of hair came out of Prowler's mouth and landed on the datapad it had been sitting on. Prowl wasn't sure how to take care of a cat, but he knew that, like Transformers, things coming out of the mouth that were not words was not a good thing. And if something happened to one of the kittens Bluestreak, and Fireflight, would be sad, and those two sad was bad for a certain strategist's spark. And if there was a problem it needed to be fixed.

But here the problem presents itself: who do you take a sick cat to? Hound was the obvious first choice; he was the Autobot with the most experience concerning Earth animals, but Hound was on a mission and it was improper to call him in the middle of a mission for a coughing Earth feline (unless this was an emergency, but Prowl was unsure if this classified as an emergency or if this was normal feline behavior, a very gross feline behavior). That left Ratchet, who while not having as much interaction with felines, did know quite a bit about human physiology and to Prowl that was good enough for the situation. Maybe enough to be able to take care of the young feline until Hound returned and could instruct them in the proper procedure for taking care of the feline. That and he was running out of Autobots that could be helpful, the humans that usually helped them not being on the base and unreachable.

Having made a plan of action (less than two seconds after Prowler finished coughing up the furry thing) Prowl picked up the datapad the kitten was sitting on and proceeded to carry her, what she spit up, and the datapad she spit it up on to the medbay so that Ratchet would examine the kitten. On the way to the medbay, Prowl made a note that he should locate any material he could find on the care and feeding of Earth domesticated felines. Something he should have done sooner, a mistake that needed to be rectified sooner rather than later.

Upon reaching the medbay, Ratchet looked up to see the second-in-command of the Autobots walking into the medbay (voluntarily) and carrying a datapad with one of the kittens sitting on top of it looking petrified. Ratchet knew his nice, peaceful day just went out the window.

Ratchet sighed and looked the strategist over, "Alright, what's wrong?"

Prowl set the datapad on a medical berth, "Something is wrong with the feline."

Ratchet stood there for a moment and then slowly looked from Prowl to Prowler and then back again, "Excuse me?"

Prowl sighed and wondered if Ratchet was having hearing problems, "I said that something is-"

Ratchet growled, interrupting, "I heard ya. Don't need to repeat yourself," and before Prowl could point out whatever he was going to point out, Ratchet said, "I'm a medic for Transformers, not for cats. What do you want me to do?"

Prowl calmly replied, "Make sure that the feline survives until Hound returns to inform us what is wrong with it."

The CMO stared at Prowl for a moment, not sure what to make of that statement, "Survives?" He looked over at the kitten who was doing a damn good impression of a glare at Prowl, probably demanding to know why she had been transported in such a manner, "She looks fine to me."

Prowl looked at Ratchet in disbelieve, "She was coughing and hacking and ejecting material from its mouth, how can that be fine?"

Ratchet raised his optic ridges (something he'd learn from the humans) and looked at the feline and only then noticed that pile of wet fur in front of it, "Ah."

Prowl stared at the medic, "'Ah'? Is it alright? Is there something you can do for it?"

Ratchet shook his head and replied, "No, there is nothing I can do," Prowl felt his spark freezing over as he imagined the look on Bluestreak's face when he found out, almost missing Ratchet going on to say, "except clean up the hairball."

Prowl looked at the medic in confusion, "Hairball?"

Ratchet nodded, "Hairball – it is a small collection of hair or fur formed in the stomach of animals that is occasionally vomited up when it becomes too big. Hairballs are primarily a tight elongated cylinder of packed fur, but may include bits of other elements such as swallowed food. Cats are especially prone to hairball formation since they groom themselves by licking their fur, and thereby ingest it."

Prowl didn't say anything, just staring at the feline in disbelief.

Jazz said, "That's gross…" having walked into the medbay wanting to figure out why his favorite bot to torment would be going into the medbay willingly only to walk in on the definition of a hairball.

Ratchet shrugged, "It's normal. And will happen occasionally, but if it happens too often then there might be a problem that will have to be dealt with."

Prowl sighed and covered his optics with his hand and once again reminded himself to get some material on the care and feeding of Earth the domesticated feline. His processor couldn't take anymore of this.

Prowl looked at the kitten, "So how do we proceed? Does it need anything?"

Ratchet was rubbing the top of Prowler's head, "She."

Prowl once more found himself staring at the medic, "Excuse me?"

Ratchet said, this time a little slower, "Prowler is a she."

Jazz, in a soft tone, asked "Prowler is a she?"

Ratchet nodded, a small part of his processor realizing that the tone of voice Jazz had used could only mean trouble, but the rest of his mind was too preoccupied by the confused look on Prowl's face. Deciding to enlighten the bot, Ratchet explained, "Prowler is an organic, they have more defined genders then we Transformers do. In this particular case, this kitten is a she. I don't know what the others are as I've not had a chance to examine them closely yet."

Prowl looked at the CMO in disbelief and opened his mouth to say something when Ratchet cut him off, "I know this because I've been studying humans which led to into the studying of the differences between males and females. It's quite interesting."

Prowl decided he had enough information and nodded his understanding, hoping the medic would not go further into detail (he didn't), while Jazz had been standing there saying nothing the entire time. When Prowl realized this, he knew there was going to be trouble and was proven right when the special ops officer laughed and said "Prowler is a girl!" and then ran out of the medbay repeating that phrase over and over very loudly for all to hear. Prowl stared after his fellow officer, wondering what Jazz thought he was doing, and then realized he should probably try to stop the bot and went after him.

Ratchet watched Jazz take off with Prowl right behind him and shook his head (later he would laugh when he found out that after yelling "Prowler is a girl" for several minutes Jazz had proceed to yell "Prowler's in heat" which seemed to get an even bigger reaction out of the strategist then the first comment did). Looking down at Prowler who was staring after them with disbelief on her young feline face, Ratchet chuckled "Get use to it, this is normal." The medic chuckled when the kitten looked up at him almost in horror. Oh how much these kittens had to learn. And with that thought the CMO called Wheeljack and Preceptor, he'd need their help and he wanted to be there to see their faces when they heard this latest story of the madness of the Autobot base.


Hope you enjoyed, please read and reviewed.