Author's Note: Hi. Sorry that it's been so long. I have been working on this story, but I was just trying to get some parts right. Anyway, thank you to everybody who is still reading, and to everybody who reviewed. It should come as no surprise that I am updating tonight, especially given the events of Plea.
Spoilers for Plea! AHHHHHH! YES! YES! YES! OH MY GOD!
Sorry, but that scene was just so good. I wanted to jump up and down, but I hurt my knee this weekend, so I couldn't. (Don't worry, it's nothing major and should be healed in about a week). I was not happy that Nolan interrupted, but I did find it ironic since he has always been their biggest supporter. He clearly saw what he had interrupted too, and he looked so happy. He's like the Jemily shipper's spokesperson or something. And Jack's face! He looked so happy, in an 'I can't believe this is finally happening' sort of way. I was worried Emily might lie about the airport or something, but she didn't. That scene was too perfect.
Anyway, I am so excited for the Finale. I am sad it is ending, but it feels right. I am scared though, because of the promo. I know it fits with the theme, but I don't want her to loose everything. I want her and Jack to be happy. I guess we'll always have fanfiction. I'm trying to remain hopeful, but at the same time, prepare myself for the worst. I'm also hoping Louise comes back around to the good side. She was so close! AHHHH. I haven't given up on her yet. And I do feel bad about Ben. Pour guy. It is unfortunate. Also, I am so incredibly proud of Charlotte. She had come so far. It was really good seeing her again too.
To Those Who Reviewed:
Simy,
That's okay. I get busy too.
It might take some time, but I do not intend for Emily to be an amnesiac forever, so do not worry.
Yeah, the promo was good. Has it really been two months since that episode aired? So much has happened, especially on the Jemily front.
Me too, but I like that they made it slow burn. Nothing can ruin a show like getting a couple together too soon.
Thank you for reviewing. I hope you like the new chapter.
Paty,
I am, don't worry.
Thank you.
Thank you for reviewing.
Guest from Jan 26,
Thank you. I am glad you agree. For the record, I did like Aimily too. I've been for Jack and Emily since day one, but I still really liked her and Aiden, and I was sad when he died.
Thank you. Nice to know I am making a difference in the shipping community.
Thank you for reviewing. I hope you like this chapter.
Chapter Seven
"Dear -
I'm sorry it's taken me so long to write to you. I know months can feel like years in there. Maybe you thought I'd forgotten you, but I promise you, I haven't. Before you know it, you'll be out too. I'll come for you on that day.
I've recently come into some money, it's a long story it was left - - -, probably to make up for everything - - - -. Honestly, it makes me sick to even consider accepting it. Money doesn't make up for years of neglect. Love cannot be bought. You and I both know how rare it is, and most of the time, it isn't real. My family is dead. It's better that way. I don't want -. I have you, and that's all I need. When you get out, we'll conquer the world together. They won't know what hit them.
I don't know if it's worth it, being out here like this. I'm still - - -, and nothing can change that. In there, we had each other, and we will again.
I know this letter wasn't exactly full of the hope you were looking for, but I'm running a little short these days. I don't want to pretend with you. I'll try to be more positive in my next letter. I will keep writing.
Stay strong. It's almost over.
~ -"
"- -,
Have you ever been stalked? That's what I feel like right now. It's different being on the outside. There are just so many people. I'd forgotten.
There is one in particular who won't leave me alone. Price I pay, I suppose, for being who I am. He keeps saying he wants to help me. I've certainly heard that before. Therapists. Social workers. Foster parents. People in general. They're all the same. I guess I'm not telling you - - don't already know. Its just there isn't anyone else.
I said this letter would be positive, didn't I? Well, I've had some fun since getting out. I've gone to some clubs that don't card, and I have to say, I don't mind them. The music is fast, and the guys are hot, if somewhat gropy. There's nothing quite like flipping some asshole for getting fresh without - - worry about the warden. Not that I always flip them. Sometimes I fuck them. That's fun too.
There have been some oh-so naive boys who challenged me at the bar, but I drank them under the table. Remember when we used to play with the girls down the -? They thought they could get us wasted and get us in trouble. Those girls had no more business challenging us than these idiots did. I suppose I should thank you. I knew how to hold my liquor before we met, but you brought me to a whole new level. I bet I could beat you now. We'll - - remember to go drinking the day you get out. I cannot wait to smoke your ass.
~ -"
"Dear -
I considered starting this letter with Happy New Year, but we both know, it won't be. If it's any consolation, my New Year sucked.
It may be a while before I can write again, but pretty soon I won't have to. The time is coming for you to get out, and I'm counting the days. I'll try to write again, but if I can't, just know, I will be there. I promise you -, I WILL COME FOR YOU.
Stay strong, and never let them see anything less.
~ -"
Emily closed the folder. There were still a few more, but she needed a minute; she could read the rest later.
After Jack had given her the letters, Emily had wanted to read them. But there was dessert to make, and there were children to look after. It wouldn't be good to do it then. So she and Jack had made dessert, and the four of them had eaten. She had laughed, trying to focus on the conversation, but her mind was on those letters. She didn't know how to react.
Should she be mad? Here was a key to her past, and Jack had had it all these years. And how come Charlotte never told her how close she and Amanda were? She wanted to read those letters, but she knew she had to wait.
So she waited. She waited through dessert. She waited for Carl and Paige to say goodbye. They thanked Jack, and left. Then, she waited the whole car ride. She put Paige to bed, and waited for her to fall asleep. Then, she grabbed the folder. And now that she had read it … she didn't know.
Jack was right; that definitely was her handwriting. But it didn't sound a thing like her. She knew being in juvie must have changed her, but the girl who wrote those letters seemed so miserable, so angry, and so reckless.
Daniel said her parents died in a car accident. Why did she seem so angry at them? How was that neglect? Had she just become cynical? Was she just responding to her time in the foster system?
And who was stalking her? Who was this man who had wanted to help her? It felt reminiscent of what she went through with Aiden, but it couldn't be him. She knew from Daniel that she didn't meet Aiden until years later. Was this man some one she knew? Was it someone she trusted?
There were so many questions, so much uncertainty. She didn't know how to deal with any of it.
"Hey. How was it at The Porters?" Daniel asked. She hadn't seen him when she got home. That had been a couple of hours ago.
"Where were you?" She asked. Her voice was unsteady, she knew, but she felt so off balance.
"What's wrong?" Daniel asked, reading her as he always did. When she didn't answer, he said, "I was with Charlotte. We both needed to get out of the house, so after the storm let up, we went for a walk." Emily nodded, still dazed. "Emily, what's wrong?"
"Why didn't you tell me that Amanda and I were in juvie together?"
Daniel seemed taken aback, "What?"
"Jack gave me these letters. I guess I turned eighteen before she did, so I got out first. But I wrote to her." She handed the letters to Daniel, who looked at them, shocked, "That's my handwriting, Daniel. Why didn't you ever tell me?"
"I … I didn't know." She looked at him, confused, " You didn't tell me."
Emily shook her head, "But that doesn't make any sense. Why wouldn't I tell you?"
"You've always been … cagey, about your past. I've told you that."
"But I told you about juvie. And this isn't like my parents. You knew Amanda. She was Charlotte's sister for goodness sake. How could I not tell you something like that?"
"I don't know." Daniel said, quietly.
"Every time I think I know who I am, something happens, and I just, I just -"
"Hey, hey, hey. You know who you are. You are Emily Grayson. You are my wife, and the mother of my child, okay? You are strong, and caring, and smart, and self-sufficient."
Emily kept shaking her head, "I can understand why I wouldn't want to talk about the parents I lost but … I just don't understand why I wouldn't tell you something like this. I … I cheated on you. I kept secrets. I-"
"Whoa, cheated, when-?"
"That kiss, with Jack. Charlotte told me about it. I just can't believe I would do something like that to you. Why would I do that?"
Daniel sighed, "You said it was because you were watching me become everything I swore I would never be. Before we met, I was Daniel Grayson. You were the first person to only want Daniel, and not care about Grayson. I started making choices … I was becoming more like my parents. And you knew. You knew, because you have always known me better than anyone. So you pushed me away, and you kissed Jack, and you gave me back the ring." Daniel looked down, "You saw the good, helped me to see it. You helped me get back to a man I could be proud of."
"So, I cheated, and then I blamed you?"
Daniel shook his head, "No relationship is perfect, Emily. I haven't always been perfect either."
Emily closed her eyes. Her head was spinning, "Yes you have. For as long as I can remember-"
"But you can't remember it all, can you!" Daniel yelled, standing up. Why was he getting so mad?
"Daniel-"
"I'm sorry." He said, trying to calm himself down, "I'm sorry. It's just, I made mistakes, and, sometimes I feel guilty. I'm not as perfect as you think I am. I wish I was. I wish I - " He paused, "We've worked so hard, to put the past behind us. We've built a life together, and those years, they're all that matter."
Emily sighed, "I wish that were true Daniel. But those years are the ones I'm missing. I have forgotten them. That's exactly why I can't put them behind me."
"Some things … some things are better forgotten." Emily shook her head, "Can we please not fight? It's been a long day. I just want to go to bed."
"Fine." Emily said, even though it wasn't. She couldn't let the past go. She needed answers. If she couldn't get them from Daniel, she'd get them elsewhere.
When Jack woke up, he felt different. He felt almost happy. It had been so long since he had woken up with a genuine smile on his face. But yesterday with Emily, Carl, and Paige, it had all seemed so right. He knew it wouldn't be easy. He knew it would take time for her to remember, but he believed she could. And someday…
Carl came running in to wake him. Of course, he was already up. He had been up for a while, but he had felt like lying in bed for a little while. What was the harm? However, eight-year-old boys will not be denied.
"Hey buddy, what's up?"
"Can I play with Paige again today?"
Jack laughed, "Why don't I give her mom a call." He said, looking for his phone. Before he could dial, he heard the doorbell. He put his phone in his pocket, and headed for the door.
It was early, and he couldn't help but hope that it was Emily calling by. He was disappointed to see a male silhouette on the other side of the door.
"Grayson." He said, not bothering to sound friendly.
"Sleeping in Porter?" Daniel asked, noting how Jack was still in his pajamas.
Jack rolled his eyes. It was just like Daniel to start with a crack at him, "Did you need something, or did you just want to wake me and ruin my day off?"
"Oh, is this your day off? I thought that would be yesterday, considering you spend pretty much the whole day with my wife and daughter."
Jack rolled his eyes, "Are we seriously going here again Grayson? Are you so insecure in your marriage that you need to-"
"You know nothing about my marriage." Daniel said hostilely. He took a deep breath, trying to calm his temper, "I know about the letters you gave Emily."
Jack crossed his arms over his chest, "And?" He asked, trying to sound bored. Daniel looked surprised, "Of course you know about them. You two are married. I'd assumed she'd share them with you." Actually, he had assumed no such thing. It wasn't that he thought Emily would hide then. He hadn't really given it much thought, and it was true that he didn't exactly know the dynamics of the marriage. Still, he wasn't exactly surprised. Amnesiac Emily seemed much more open then the one he remembered. It would make sense for her to tell Daniel about the letters. She may have even shown them to him, which made Jack all the more grateful that he had not given her the originals.
"I came over here to tell you to stop messing with my wife's mind."
Jack rolled his eyes, "Shouldn't that be up to her? She didn't have to take the letters. She didn't have to read them. I offered her a part of her past because I felt she had a right to know."
"She doesn't need to know every detail about her past. She's been getting along just fine."
"Do you really believe that? Do you really think six years worth of memories is enough for a woman in her thirties? Do you think she can honestly be happy-?"
"She is happy!" Daniel shouted.
"Maybe. But not happy enough that she didn't want to know. I happened to be able to shed some light on her missing years, and if she were really happy not knowing, she would never have taken me up on it." Daniel seethed, "What's this really about, Grayson? Are you scared that your wife isn't as happy in her life with you as you thought, or is it that I could offer her something you couldn't?"
Daniel was about to reply when Carl came up behind Jack, "I heard yelling." He said, "What's going on?" He turned to Daniel, "Aren't you Paige's dad?"
Daniel nodded, "Yeah. That's me."
Carl looked between the two men, trying to figure out what was going on, "Carl, Mr. Grayson and I are almost finished up. Why don't you go back inside? I'll be there in a minute, okay?"
Carl nodded, "Are you going to ask him if I can play with Paige today?"
Jack started to speak, but Daniel opened his mouth first, "Actually, Paige, her mom, and your Aunt Charlotte are running some errands for Aunt Charlotte's wedding." He said kindly, "You could probably go with them if you like. It's kind of an all girls club, but they might make an exception."
Carl thought for a minute, "What kind of errands?"
"Well, Paige is going to be a flower girl, so they are going to work on picking out the flowers for her to throw at the wedding, and then she's going to be practicing." He scrunched his nose up, and Daniel laughed, "It's more fun than it sounds."
After another minute, Carl nodded, "Okay. But I'm not picking out flowers."
"That's fine. I'll give Charlotte a call to let her know, and then I'll drive you there."
"Um, I'm not sure if that's-" Jack started.
"Oh, come on Porter. You spent all yesterday with my daughter. Let me get to know your son. After all, his aunt is my sister. We're practically family."
"Please dad, can I go!" Carl pleaded.
Jack sighed, but nodded, "Go get dressed." Once Carl was out of earshot, Jack's eyes narrowed, "I don't know what you're trying to pull here, Grayson-"
"I'm not trying to pull anything. It just seems fair that I get to spend some time with the person you love the most, seeing as you spent all yesterday with two of the people I love the most."
"I swear to god, if anything happens to my son-"
"What kind of man do you think I am, Porter? I'm a father too."
"You're right. You are a father. I just hope you didn't learn by example."
Daniel looked like he was going to respond, but then Carl came running out, "I'm ready."
Daniel smiled. "Alright buddy. Come one, let's go."
Carl nodded, following Daniel out the door.
Charlotte sighed. She was happy that Daniel was bringing Carl along, but she was still waiting for Paige and Emily. She knocked on her sister-in-law's door again, and got no response. Sighing, she headed for Paige's room. The door was already open, and Paige was looking through one of her books.
She looked up and smiled at her Aunt, "Good morning." She said kindly.
"Good morning. Do you know where you're mother is?"
Paige shook her head, "She said she had to run an errand, and that she'd be back soon."
Charlotte let out a frustrated sigh. "All right, I guess she'll meet us there. Please get dressed and meet me downstairs."
Emily examined the property. It wasn't quite as assuming as Grayson Manor, but it was still rather lavish. She hesitated. What was she doing here? She didn't know. She just knew she needed answers. She had heard everything Daniel and Charlotte could tell her, and Jack… she wanted to trust him, but there seemed to be a history of feelings. If those feelings still existed, that was a reason to skew the truth in his own favor. She didn't want to think he would, but she couldn't risk it. She needed real, honest answers, and if there was a chance the person living here might have them, it was worth the drive. She rang the doorbell, her determination outweighing her nerves.
The door opened, and the man standing before her felt incredibly familiar, despite her lack of memories of him. He wasn't exactly what she had pictured. He was gangly, and blonde, which she had known. What really threw her was the way his face lit up when he saw her, as if he were coming home.
"Ems." He said. Before she could say a word, she was enveloped in a hug. It was hard not to hug back. After a minute, he stepped back from her awkwardly. "That was probably weird for you, both because you don't remember me, and because you've never been the touchy-feely type, but, what can I say, I couldn't resist." He shot her a cautious smile.
"Hello Nolan." She said, trying to sound confidant addressing this man she had never really met. "May I come in?"
"Of course. Me casa es su casa … literally." He said, closing the door behind her as he led her into the living room, "You bought me this house. Of course, the décor is all me, but then, I have always had better taste than my friends, and you kept up better than most."
She laughed nervously, taking a seat on his couch, "I, um, I guess we were really close." He looked away, trying not to look as sad as he felt. She could tell though. She placed a hand on his arm in comfort, and he offered her a smile. "I don't want to make you uncomfortable." He scoffed. He tried to hide it with a nervous chuckle, but it was pretty blatant, "However, I have been wondering … if we were so close, why didn't you keep in touch?"
He looked away again, "I tried to visit you after your accident, but I wasn't allowed in. And then, after word of your amnesia spread …" He trailed off.
"Why should that matter?"
Nolan shook his head, "It's complicated." She shot him a look, and he sighed, " I was a reminder of a part of your life that I think you would have liked to forget. And when you actually did … I guess I thought you'd be happier without the past getting in the way of your, uh, bright new future."
Emily rolled her eyes, "You sound like Daniel." That made Nolan laugh, "People keep saying they know what's best for me. Everybody wants me to let it go but, I know what's best for me. I need to know who I am."
Nolan sighed, shaking his head, "Maybe Jack was right." Emily shot him a questioning look, but before he could elaborate, Nolan cell rang. He checked caller I.D., and smiled, "Speak of the devil." He said, before picking up, "Hey Jack, what's … wait, what? What did Daniel do?"
Emily's eyes widened and she grabbed the phone. "-came here and-" "Jack," she said, interrupting him.
"Emily? What are you doing with Nolan?"
"Never mind that. What's going on?"
"Um, well, your husband came over and …" He trailed off.
"Jack, just tell me."
She heard him sigh, "It's not a big deal really. I'm making it into something it's not. But, he came over, and Carl wanted to spend time with Paige so, he took him."
"What do you mean, he took him?"
"He just, he said Paige was with you and Charlotte, and he could take him to meet up with you guys." Emily winced. Crap. She was supposed to help Charlotte with wedding stuff today. She had totally forgotten. "Like I said, it's not a big deal really. I'm sure he's fine. I just …"
Emily sighed. She knew Jack and Daniel had their issues. Why had Daniel been there in the first place? Why had he wanted to bring him to Paige? She felt like she was missing something. It was not an unfamiliar feeling, obviously, but it was one she was getting sick of, "Jack, Daniel's great with kids."
"I'm sure he-"
"But, if you are uncomfortable with him looking after Carl, I can talk to him. Your child has to be your first priority, and if leaving them alone with anyone makes you uncomfortable, you don't need a reason." It's how she would feel if it were Paige. If a friend of Daniel's just stopped by to pick Paige up, she would be freaking out. It didn't matter if it was rational of not, when it came to your kid, you got to be a paranoid head-case. And after what had happened with Aiden, Emily got that more than anything. "I have to go meet them anyway. Thank you for reminding me about Charlotte. I'll be there soon, and I'll talk to him. I promise you, Carl will be fine."
"Thank you Emily." She could hear the relief in his voice. It sent shivers up her spine.
Once they hung up, she turned to Nolan, "We'll have to put this on the back burner. I have to meet Charlotte."
Nolan nodded, "Well, your welcome any time." He said, shifting uncomfortably, "It's, uh, it's good to see you Ems."
She nodded heading out.
Emily awoke to the smell of salt. She noticed a strong wind in her face; maybe that had been what woke her up. Wait, wind? She thought. How was the wind in her face? She had been asleep in her bed, which now seemed to be rocking beneath her. Was she still dreaming?
Her eyes shot open. She was outdoors, on a boat. Why was she on a boat?
Paige! Where was her daughter? She looked around frantically. Paige was only a few months old, and she slept in the crib beside Emily and Daniel most nights. Last night, Daniel had to go into the city. It was her first night without him since Paige was born. "You'll do fine." She recalled him whispering to her. But she wasn't doing fine at all. She was on a boat, and she had no clue where her daughter was.
Slowly, she got up, trying to get her sea legs under her. She started exploring the boat. Paige! Where was Paige? She felt like crying.
There was a man at the helm of the boat. Aiden. Her heart stopped. She couldn't move.
He seemed to sense her presence and turned to look at her.
"How'd you sleep?" He asked, as though it was the most natural thing in the world for her to be on this boat with him.
"Where is my daughter?" She said, trying to sound brave, hoping he couldn't hear her heart hammering in her chest.
"She's asleep. Downstairs. Don't worry; she's perfectly safe."
"Don't worry?" She snapped, "The man who kidnapped me and my daughter tells me not to worry."
He shook his head, sighing, "I wanted to be patient. I wanted to give you time to remember. But everyday, Daniel is poisoning your mind with more lies, and every time I see him holding our daughter-"
"His daughter. Paige is Daniel's and she is mine. She is not yours. That's been proven."
"I don't care what those test results say. She has my sister's eyes Emily; Colleen's eyes. That can't be a coincidence."
"You're insane." She spat. He winced. Maybe it wasn't a good idea to insult her capture. She tried a different tactic, "Paige is my daughter, and Daniel is my husband. You need to accept that."
Aiden shook his head, "He doesn't care about you. He doesn't even know you." He looked at her, his eyes pleading, "I love you."
She placed her hand on his arm, trying to come off comforting, "If you love me, you'll take me home. You'll let me return to the person that makes me happy, and you'll respect my choice."
Again, he shook his head, "Ordinarily, you would be right. But you don't know what you're doing. You don't remember who you are. That's why I needed to take you somewhere that would remind you."
"Where are we going?"
"Japan."
Emily shook her head. This wasn't the same. Daniel wasn't Aiden. Nothing dangerous was happening here. Still, the memory made her uneasy. Those days on the water with Aiden had been some of the scariest of her life. Even waking up with no memory of who she was had not been as scary. She had thought she was going to die. She was terrified of Aiden hurting her or Paige.
She drove up to the flower shop, parking next to Daniel's car. He was already here. Good. She wasn't interested in sitting around twiddling her thumbs.
It wasn't that she was angry with him exactly, but a small voice in the back of her brain told her that Daniel knew what he had done was wrong. If that were the case, and he had done it anyway, they would need to have words.
She spotted Charlotte, Paige, Carl and Daniel. Paige had placed a crown made of flowers on Carl's head, and he was laughing. Daniel and Charlotte stood watching.
"Charlotte." Emily called. They all looked up, "I'm so sorry I'm late."
Charlotte smiled, "That's okay. You're here now."
"Actually, would you mind if I had a moment alone with my husband?" Emily asked sweetly. Daniel looked at her, his eyebrows rising in curiosity.
"Sure. We'll be over by the begonias." Charlotte said, taking Carl and Paige's hands and leading them away.
"What's up?" Daniel asked, pecking her cheek.
"What happened at the Porters' this morning?"
Daniel looked taken aback, "What?"
"Why did you go over there and take Carl?"
"He wanted to see Paige-"
"Jack was upset." Emily said, "How would you feel if he took Paige and I wasn't there?"
Daniel shook his head, "Charlotte and Paige were here."
"And in the car ride over?"
"So he called you up just so he could paint me as some sort of kidnapper? He said it was okay."
Emily shook her head, "Just because he said it was okay doesn't mean he was okay with it."
"Well how am I to know that? If someone says something is okay-?"
"What were you even doing over there?"
Daniel groaned, rubbing his face in frustration, "This is exactly what I was afraid of when you started hanging out with him." Emily looked at him, questioningly, "He's trying to drive a wedge between us, don't you see that? The guys always had a thing for you, and now he's calling you up trying to make me look like the bad guy-"
"He called Nolan, not me. I just happened to be there."
"Why were you at Nolan's?"
"Because I need answers, Daniel, and I thought he might have them."
"He's messing with your head. You were happy. We were happy. Now he's making you question that."
Emily's face softened, "Daniel, I'm not questioning us. I love you. I am happy with you. Nothing could ever change what you mean to me." Daniel shook his head. Emily reached up, caressing his cheek, "Hey, this isn't about you okay. I am grateful to you for so many things, and I love you so much. You have to know that."
Reluctantly, Daniel nodded. "But if you're happy, why do you have to go dredging up all this ancient history?"
Emily shook her head, keeping her hand on his cheek, "I just need to know who I am, where I come from. Please try and understand that."
After a minute, Daniel said, "Okay."
Smiling, Emily leaned up and kissed him. "Get a room." They pulled apart, laughing; Charlotte laughed too, "We've got flowers to pick out. You two can be gross later."
Jack had been pacing for hours. He couldn't help it. Daniel wouldn't hurt his son. He knew that. But …
There was a pounding on the door. Jack looked up, hoping to see Emily and his son. Instead, he saw Nolan. Trying not to look too disappointed, he got up and opened the door.
"I think you were right."
Jack rolled his eyes. Nolan didn't always bother with pleasantries. That was Emily's influence. Frankly, Jack wasn't in the mood for pleasantries either. He just wanted to know Carl was safe. Still, Nolan briskness intrigued him. "I was-?" he started, but Nolan cut him off.
"Right, yes."
"About?"
"About Emily!" Nolan said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Jack just looked at him, confused, "I don't think she's happy. I don't think …" he trailed off, rubbing his temples as if to ward off a headache, "Ahhh. I so wanted this not to be true. I was hoping that Emily Grayson had left Emily Thorne behind but-"
"Whoa, wait a minute, what to you mean, left Emily Thorne behind? I know you wanted her to be happy, but to completely lose herself?"
"Emily Thorne isn't herself, Jack. We both know that. Okay, Emily Thorne is a machine she built. The girl underneath, that happy girl you met on the beach, that's who I was hoping for. That's who I hoped her amnesia would help her find." He shook his head, "I never knew Amanda, but I knew Emily better than most anybody. She was stubborn, and determined, and when she came to see me today I saw that. I mean, sure, she was more open than Emily, but she has something she wants, and she's going to get it. I saw it in her eyes Jack … she wants to remember."
Jack shook his head, trying to take in what Nolan was saying, "So, what now?"
Nolan shook his head again, "This is all my fault." He sighed, slumping down on Jack's couch, "If I had handled it differently, if I hadn't been so against it, we could have brought her back, but I just … "
Sighing, Jack took a seat beside Nolan. He patted him on the back, "I know it was hard for you, letting her go like you did. You wanted her to be happy. That's not a crime."
Nolan shook his head, "I did more than that."
Jack shot him a questioning look. Nolan sighed, burying his head in his hands in shame.
Aiden had called the other night, saying how he was finally making progress. "I don't know what made her decide to do it." He had said, excited, "Maybe something I said finally struck a cord. But Emily is having a paternity test done. And then she'll know."
Of course, the baby might not be his, but Aiden was certain. Nolan wasn't. The crazy thing was, he was hoping for a different outcome. Aiden wanted it to be his child. Nolan wanted it to be Daniel's.
He felt horrible for thinking it. He loved Aiden like a brother, and knew Emily would hate to carry a Grayson. But Emily wasn't Emily. She couldn't protect herself. And Aiden and Jack kept talking his ear off about how Danny Boy might have pulled the trigger. Emily had nearly died. She didn't trust any of them to keep her safe, and she was hardly strong enough to keep herself safe. She couldn't even remember how to fight, even if her body had been up for it.
If Daniel had shot her, then that baby, the baby he believed to be his, was keeping her alive. And if Daniel found out she was carrying someone else's child …
Nolan couldn't even think it. So, he focused on other things, like hacking. Hospital security, ha, child's play.
And there they were. The results. There was no question about it. No horns on that fetus. Emily's child was definitely not a Grayson. A part of Nolan was relieved, because he didn't really want Emily to bring another Grayson into the world. But the other part of him was terrified. He knew what he had to do. It would hurt Aiden, but it would save Emily. He had sworn to David that he would protect this girl, the girl he had come to love as the sister he never had. And he would. Even if it meant lying to Aiden. It was what had to be done.
"I let them believe it was Daniel's child. I thought I was doing the right thing. But if I hadn't, Aiden might not have…"
"Nolan, Aiden made his own choices." Nolan shook his head, "Look at me, okay. What you did, I can't say whether it was right or not, but … you were trying to protect her. That's all you've ever tried to do. If Aiden hadn't gotten so desperate near the end, he would have seen that. You did what you felt you had to-"
"But look what she's stuck with now. You were right all along. She's living a lie. She can never be happy that way; it's not who she is. It was one thing when she knew it was a lie, but-"
They both looked up at the sound of a tapping at the door.
"Hold on." Nolan nodded, and Jack got up to answer it.
It was Emily.
"Hi." She said, stepping aside so Carl could head in.
Jack gave her a grateful smile. "Hey buddy. Have a good day?"
Carl looked up at his dad, "Why are you talking to me like I'm four?"
Both Jack and Emily laughed, "Why don't you go wash up for dinner, huh bud?"
Carl shrugged and ran up the stairs. Jack turned back to Emily, "Thank you."
"I'm sorry about Daniel. He can be … possessive sometimes." Jack nodded, "Between what happened on our wedding night, and then … he's almost lost me many times. And I think sometimes he gets scared. But that doesn't make what he did okay."
Jack nodded, "I get it. I know I overreacted, I just … Carl's my world, you know?"
Emily nodded, "I do. Paige is my everything." And she did know. She knew exactly what he meant. It was true, she had Daniel and Charlotte, and Jack just and Carl, but that didn't matter. Paige was everything to her. "I should get back. Charlotte and I still have some wedding stuff to go over."
Jack nodded, "Listen, I'm sorry if those letters caused problems between you guys. You may not believe me, but I swear, that wasn't why I -"
"I do." Jack looked at her, curiously. Emily chuckled, "Believe you, I mean. And I'm grateful to you for those letters. Any clues to who I was … I truly am grateful to you Jack."
There was something so genuine about her words. It made Jack smile. "You're welcome. Glad I could help." He said, meeting her eyes. There was a glimmer of something in them. Determination. Fire. Nolan had been right. This was Emily Thorne.
"It's an interesting mystery, my life, who I was. But I am going to solve it."
"I'm sure you will."
She quirked her eyebrow at him, curiously, "Why's that?"
"Who Emily Thorne was, it's always been a mystery. Even then, nobody could completely figure you out, thought some certainly got closer than others. I certainly tried to solve it, and in my efforts, on of the things I've learned is that there is nothing Emily Thorne cannot do if she wants to. When you want it bad enough, you can accomplish the impossible, and if any one person could figure out who Emily Thorne really was, I have no doubt that that one person is you."
As he talked, he saw her blush, and a stray tear gathered in the corner of her eye. This wasn't Emily Thorne he was talking to. This was not a girl who hid her blushes and swallowed her tears. This was Emily Grayson. And she shot him a grateful smile that made his heart skip a beat and pulled him in for a hug that nearly made the thing stop beating all together.
She whispered a "Thank you." That was raw and real, and left him speechless. She was still so many people, Jack mused. She was the innocent childhood friend. She was the hurt, angry girl who lost everything. She was the robot that the angry girl built to survive. She was the girl next door, and the socialite. She was a wife and a mother. Every one of these girls lived within this one body, and they were all so different. Still, every last one of the made his heart skip beats. Every one of them had the soft hair with a scent that made him feel woozy when she hugged him. It didn't matter if she was Amanda Clarke, Emily Thorne, or Emily Grayson. All that matter was she was the girl he would never give up on, and could never let go of.
Slowly, reluctantly, he brought himself back to the present, and headed back inside. Nolan was still on the couch, though now he was talking to Carl about the eight-year-old's day. Jack smiled at the scene. For the first time in a long time, he felt like everything just might work out the way it was supposed to.
Author's Note: So? What did we think?
I did write out the whole letters. If anybody likes, I can post them. Obviously, not everything that was blocked out was important, but Jack wanted Nolan to block out some random bits so it wasn't too obvious. Then there's stuff about her parents and what not, but really, Jack wanted as much as the letters in there as possible, because he's hoping it will help trigger some memories. And in case it wasn't clear, Nolan was the guy she was talking about who was "stalking" her.
Someone brought up whether Daniel and Emily would start having issues, and obviously, there are some. It is difficult to be in a relationship with someone when you are living with the guilt that you nearly killed her. The fact that she does not know, and feels eternally grateful to you for all you have done for her probably only makes it worse. Daniel was Emily's white knight when she was completely lost, and in some way, I don't think she feels she can ever repay him. He helped her rebuild her identity when she didn't know who she was, and 'protected' her from Aiden. At least, that's what she believes. There is love, but also guilt, and gratitude, and a foundation of lies, so it's a complicated relationship. However, as was shown by the scene where they made up, they do want to make it work. Daniel loves Emily. When I started this story, we were still in the whole, "Daniel's an a** for shooting Emily and saying that sterilizing her was his gift to the universe" place. I never thought I could forgive him for that, but then he found out who she was, and they found common ground, and of course, there are the events of 4x10. Originally, Daniel probably would not have come out of this story happy, but now I don't know. It is a Jemily story though, which complicated things, because I don't think Daniel could really be happy with someone else. I guess I'll have to figure it out, but I plan to keep this one going for a while, so I guess I have time.
I hope the whole thing with Daniel, Carl, and Jack didn't seem too weird. I was a little nervous about it.
What did we think of the Nemily reunion? I know they didn't get much time, but that will come later. I love Nolan. I love him and Louise too, shame what's happened with that, but I haven't given up hope. I've actually been thinking of bringing her into this story. Any thoughts?
Please do not judge Aiden too harshly. Desperation makes people do crazy things sometimes. I hope he did not seem too out of character. He's always seemed like the type who does "what needs to be done." Anyway, there will be more flashbacks of him and Emily on the boat.
Who guessed right about Paige's father? What do you think of what Nolan did?
I'm sorry for the lack of Jemily scenes in this chapter. It feels like there is so much going on, but I'll try to do better next chapter. The lack of Jemily scenes was part of what I was trying to work out actually; I might have finished this one sooner otherwise. Life will be pretty busy for me, but I'll update as soon as I can.
Thank you for reading. I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and I look forward to your reviews.
Have a good day.
