*** This chapter does contain some smut. It starts and ends with a small line of stars.

My fingers ran against the knuckles of the chair, synthesizing a lion's face in my mind; these were the same chairs Smith had in his office. For a crappy position, Shadis had a nice office; perhaps they were gifts from Smith for me. I smirked at the thought, Shadis was hustled for that trade-off—a nicer office was jack shit compared to the difficulties I'd given him.

"Stop smiling like that." Noah demanded. He was hunched over in the seat next to me. "Do you know how deep in shit we're in?"

"Stop chewing on your nails. You know how Farlan hated that." I eased back in the chair in an attempt to relax but my hands began drumming on the arms of the chair again.

"You need to calm down, you've been nothing but restless. When's the last time you slept?" The nightmares flashed in my mind—the man who ate the insides of carcasses, the POV hunts I had no control of, the red head who only left heads intact, the scarred man who walked through his fires, and the great man who could destroy buildings and battalions in a flash…no matter what it was, the hunts always ended with his face, his smiling grey face telling me how proud and happy I made him.

"Ry?" I jumped when I heard the call.

"I—uh. What?" My head was clouded.

"What's going on? You glaze over like that all the time now, we need to stay focused to stay. We only have 10 months left and—" The door opened behind us and we both craned our necks from our chairs.

"Stay seated." His grim voice demanded as he slammed the door behind him. I watched as the lurking man moved behind his desk. "I don't know what the hell to do with you anymore. You're an absolute fucking monster." I winced at the name but I didn't dare let him know. "You've attacked a fellow cadet, one you were friendly with, for no clear reason. You've destroyed the Titan obstacle courses to the point where they're irreparable. And on top of all that, you sent two other cadets to the infirmary in your brawl. According to my reports, no one incited you or pushed you in any way and these cadets have been you're friends. Do you have anything to say for yourself?"

"I… I don't remember any of it." I admitted as I racked my brain at the accusations as I had done over and over again. I only remembered seeing Isabel when Mikasa and Reiner pried me off of Eren, my cheeks wet and my throat sore. I remembered sitting in the wooden pieces, absolutely exhausted, when the lantern lights of the squad leaders found me, their guns and blades ready for a fight; and then the worst of all, when I came back to it in chains, surrounded by beaten and bruised friends—Armin cowered in the back while Eren comforted him, guarded by Mikasa while Reiner and Bert held me down and Annie was on top of me, holding me down. I sent Jean and another to the infirmary, I couldn't beg for forgiveness more. They all said it was okay but I could tell they were wary…except Eren and Annie. Eren still sat near me and spoke sweetly to me as he always did and Annie always had my back—I could trust her to keep me in check, as I could trust Mikasa to keep me from hurting Eren.

"I'm putting your training under two Scouts." Shadis declared and I tuned back in, his scolding and insults finally done. "You will be on a separate schedule from the others and live in the officer's quarters, under their constant supervision. You will train only in the depths of the woods and, if you can survive their training, you will become a Scout. You will obey their every damn command, if I hear of one issue—one insult or step out of place—you will rot in prison for the rest of your pitiful life."

"Okay." I immediately consented, to both Noah and Shadis's surprise. "I don't want to hurt anyone." My stomach was in knots from the memories and I began hearing hot whispers in my ears, the classic signs of her presence. I needed to get out of there before she came back.

Every vein thumped fiercely against my skin with the bounding pumps of my heart. My head was throbbing as I clenched my muscles to keep control; my teeth ached as I ground them against each other. I could hear and feel everything— my skin was crawling with each soft breeze, my blood felt hot in my heart and I could hear my nails and hair growing slowly. The maddening part of it was being in the mess hall—every cackle, voice pitch, utensil scrapings, the chewing, the snorting, the smacking of lips… I was shaking with rage but I had to contain it otherwise—

"Kaia." Noah whispered to me from across our table. "Are you alright?"

"No." I managed to say through grit teeth. "I—I don't know what's happening." I clenched my eyes shut in an attempt to keep myself still. I'm going insane, that's what's happening. I'm deeply hallucinating, I can't sleep from the nightmares, I'm losing it Noah please help me, I don't want to hurt anyone. I wanted to tell him everything but… but what would actually happen? How could he possibly help me? Could anyone? My hands began shaking, more and more violently as I shook my tray. It became louder and louder where I could feel some eyes dart towards me. Don't look at me. Don't you fucking look at me. The sinister voice returned and I winced back from my own head, I didn't know how to hold her in.

That's when it hit me. I mean literally, it hit me. I looked to the table as the bottle of water rolled across to Noah, who was also surprised. Drink. His voice came back into my mind and I obeyed, I grabbed the water and chugged the sweet water, a good bit of it dribbled down my throat but I got the majority. When I finished I could breathe again and my body was normal.

I was standing at my table and everything came into view once more—I saw the few cadets that were in the mess hall this early. I saw Noah—oh my god Noah. He was so much older he looked like a man grown now; I would've sworn it was Farlan with long, luscious gray lochs. He peered up at me anxiously with beautiful golden eyes. His lips were moving but I could care less. He stood to me, a few inches higher than I imagined. Then his eyes left mine for something behind me. I turned and there he was, standing behind me with a familiar looking blonde.

"Well don't just stand there, mouth agape" the one eyed blonde spoke softly "eat, you're going to need your strength." I slowly sat down, still staring at Nico in a Scout's uniform—had he worn that before? Was he a Scout? How did I miss that? Nicolas kept a stern face as he took the seat next to me with his own tray of food. The blonde took to the bench next to Noah with his.

"Who are you?" Noah questioned the handsome blonde who was twice his size.

"We're her new trainers." He kept eating as I looked to Nico. His dark brown eyes gave me a darting glance, I snapped out of my odd fixation and focused on my own food. Noah gave me an odd look at my demeanor; I was leaving the questioning to him.

"Wait already? And her new trainers?" He said nervously "Where are you from?"

"Oh pardon my manners sire." Worick mocked as he sipped at his oatmeal. "I didn't know I was here to answer all your fucking questions." Noah was taken aback and he looked to me.

"What do I call you then?" I spoke up for my struggling brother.

"Marcus."

"And him?" I motioned my head to Nico, eating quietly beside me. William smiled oddly at me, he must be happy I'm playing along.

"Jackson, but you won't need to address him. He's hard of hearing." Nico rolled his eyes and began motioning his hands around. And you're half blind. What a team we make. I smirked before I realized my mistake. Noah gave me a questioning glare.

"And I've got bad eyesight. Looks like we'll have quite a time together." I awkwardly saved myself and drifted back to my food as Noah eased back. I'd definitely have to be more careful. 'Marcus' grinned. That was proof right there; I had to trust these two characters, if we weren't old friends how would I be able to read sign language?

"Alright that's enough." Marcus gulped down the rest of his food as Jackson finished his tray. They both stood and eyed me; I followed obediently as they started out of the mess hall. "Take care of that Lee." I meekly smiled as I looked back to Noah, but it did nothing to ease the fear and anger written all over his face, we hadn't been separated in…well since I could remember waking up.

They stayed silent as they led me straight out to the woods, cadets peered at us and whispered but we never skipped a step. Once we hit the tree line I spoke up.

"What the hell is going on here?" Marcus turned and smiled at me, he broke pace with Nico to talk with me. Nico kept his eyes straight and we followed him now.

"Worick. You may remember me as Wallace."

"I'm… Kaia I guess. That's the last name I remember." Worick smirked and threw an arm around my shoulder.

"Good. We missed you Kai."

"How long has it been? Who was I? How do I even know you two? And you!" I softly clipped Nico's ankle to get his attention "Why the hell did you leave me in the woods? I thought I was going insane! And do you know how heavy that fucking log was?" He looked back with a gnarly smirk as a deep chuckle escaped from his throat.

"We had to be sure it was you, and it was my plan." I looked up to Worick's shining white smile as he pinched my shoulder. "Not a good one I admit but it worked. Listen we're here to get you out."

"Out?" I stopped short. They both whipped their heads to me.

"Yeah, out. We want you to come back, we've found a way to get home." Worick said in confusion that was mirrored on Nico's face. "Don't… don't you remember home?"

"I've never had a home." I answered honestly. Worick ran his hand through his hair as he looked to Nico, who's stone cold face reminded me of Levi.

"We, the three of us, we were a family years back Kaia. We lived in that run down place? It stank of wet mold and the stray dogs that always found their way in and—well we always dreamed of a home and we've found—"

"I don't know either of you." I interrupted him. "I mean, there's a sense of familiarity and I can apparently read sign language, but that's all."

"Oh…" Nico's face frowned for a millisecond at my words. "Well…it was after Farlan and Isabel died. You and Noah ran north from Levi and his Scouts, you worked with us under Monroe—he's one of the fathers, remember?" I could tell he was struggling with my blank look. "Kaia, you and Noah lived with us in the basement of a hideout of his for well over a year. I mean we didn't know Noah too well because you were so protective and he was, well pretty disturbed for awhile there I don't think he ever said a word, but we were family Kaia."

"Do you know… what I did?" I asked him honestly. "What was I?" The little color that was in his crystal pale skin left him and Nico dropped his head, avoiding eye contact. "Tell me." I demanded. "I have a right to know."

"One night…the Scouts found you and Noah and we were separated in the run. We tried to find you…" his voice softened to barely above a whisper "…but all we found was Noah, taken in by the Scouts. We…well lost you."

"So what the hell happened?" I grew impatient with worry as he slowly told the story.

"The Renegades." Nico grumbled; I looked to him now.

"W—what?" I lost my breath.

"You became Furiosa." Worick finally admitted. "The next time we saw you, you were Furiosa. Flying recklessly over Ergastulum as King waged war on the Fathers." I didn't hear the rest of it as everything began rushing together—the voice, the scars, the dreams… everything began spinning together and I closed my eyes as I remembered the stories of the Renegades…

I woke up to a sharp pain across my cheek. "Agh fuck!" I opened my eyes to Nico crouching at my side and Worick bending over above him.

"Yeah, we've got a lot of work to do on you." I rolled my eyes as Nico helped to sit me up, my head was throbbing.

"You went and cut yourself." Nico muttered as he pressed a torn piece of his black shirt against my right eyebrow.

"I can't be Furiosa… It's not—I don't hurt people. I've never—" I stopped my argument when I saw the looks on their faces. "Alright well how the hell can I be a tag?"

"It's this drug, celebrer. King found you after you fell into a cavern and brought you to a tag doctor. He essentially infused you with celebrer because he confused you with a tag." Worick lit a cigarette and straightened up as Nico dabbed my brow again.

"Normals can't survive that."

"You did." Nico grumbled to me with a slight smile.

"Am I a tag then?" I asked and he shrugged. "Wait how the hell can I see?"

"Not a fucking clue." Worick spoke between puffs. "It happened before you changed. For some reason, Nicolas can hear when you're around. Apparently it works both ways."

"Wait… you can hear?" I smiled at Nico and he flushed a bit as he tried to hide his own real smile. "That's amazing!" I brought both my hands to Nico's warm cheeks in my excitement. After a moment his demeanor changed and he shook his head from my hands with a grunt. I looked up to see Worick's one-eyed glare, I immediately followed Nico's example.

"So… what's the end goal?" I took the cloth from Nico's hand and held it to my eye.

"Nico and I are going to train you to be as strong as you once were, but as Kaia. We're getting out of all of it. All of the crime and the killings and the politics… we want a quiet, peaceful life where we can disappear. Dr. Theo told us about whatever he did to save you and change you back. Benriya isn't complete without you." Worick opened his right palm to reveal an old gash and Nico did the same. I smiled as I looked to the same gash on my own palm.

"Benriya." I repeated. "That sounds familiar… but it really sounds like someone's in love and wants to settle down." I smiled as Nico held out his hand, I took it gracefully and Worick blushed. "What's her name and what do you need from me?"

"Alex." Nico grunted again. "He needs extra protection; you know—cost of business."

"You can promise me a peaceful life away from all this bullshit?" I looked up into Nico's deep brown eyes and I realized he was still holding my hand, hiding it from Worick's view.

"Yes, I promise." He squeezed my hand before he let it go and casually brushed it through his hair.

"Then it's a deal." I felt my heart quicken and my face blush slightly at the idea. "Let's get started."

4 Months Later

I landed silently on the tree branch to catch my breath as quietly as I could. I saw the cool puffs in the breeze and pulled my grey scarf tight to my nose. I looked around the woods, the pines were dashed with a slight snow, fresh from the night prior but the ground was completely barren from the cold. Each breath of air was freezing for just a moment before it instantly felt like fire in my throat; I was breathing heavier than normal, or was I? Wait, how long had it been? And where the hell were we? I didn't recognize the trees, they weren't any of the broken trunks from our past fights and—my vision began to shorten, the black walls began creeping in and y vision turned fuzzy, the light signatures of my old vision returned, dim from the lack of life. How far away was Nico?

"Nic!" I called out, he'd never done this before and –click, click whoosh. Ah shit. I started off in a random direction, firing off my new hooks. Suddenly we were racing, my vision began to return and I knew he was on my tail. I shot between trees, flipping and twisting with accuracy but I could still see more and more. I moved faster and faster, beginning to crack the trees, which didn't help my case with his heightened hearing. I had full vision but I couldn't put a read on him, I was just fleeing now—I hated that.

A spark of light flashed beneath me and I twisted up, turning myself upside down and backwards to dodge the katana. I smiled at Nico as I grabbed his black collar with my right hand and shot my left forearm hook into a trunk, we quickly spun to the left and I flung him into a tree as I pulled myself to land perpendicular on the trunk. I released the hook and extended my claw hand into the trunk above me, flinging myself up as Nico recovered mid-air and pushed off towards me. I flung myself higher and dodged his katana, which was stuck in the trunk where my torso had been mere seconds earlier. I came back down as he struggled to pull his sword from the trunk, closer, closer, only another foot… BAM!

I grabbed his right shoulder and pressed his arm down, the flat side of his sword smacked my right cheek but my grab was strong enough so that he lost his katana as we fell. By the time we hit the ground and he opened his eyes, I was on top of him: my left claw holding his right shoulder down, my left knee on his right pelvic bone, my right foot pinning his left hand to the ground and my right hand flexed, my forearm dagger drawn to the tip of his nose. I smiled as his sword clanked against the frozen ground a few yards to our right.

"Check mate." I whispered between breaths and he laughed his deep throaty laugh back. Suddenly he thrust his left hip up and I lost control. The next thing I knew I was slammed against the frozen ground with him on top of me: straddling his weight on my hips, his left arm pinning my right hand next to my head while simultaneously pressing against my throat, and his right arm on my left hip. I pushed against him but I underestimated his size, he was only 3 inches taller but he had at least twenty pounds on me. He was lean with sizable muscle but he weighed a fucking ton.

"I've told you. Never try to pin your opponent, you're too delicate Petunia." I grit my teeth and pushed harder against the unstoppable force of his body, I kicked my feet up underneath me and tried to press against the ground but it was useless—he barely budged. After a few minutes of struggling from every angle and him laughing, I finally gave up.

"Alright," I finally relaxed, exhausted "don't fucking call me that." It only elicited another laugh from him and I made another face, as I rolled my eyes at him, upset I messed up another tackling maneuver.

"Oh c'mon Kai." He stopped as he leaned in closer. "You're not going to let me enjoy this, not even a little bit? We haven't been alone in weeks…" I couldn't help my blush as he came closer and closer.

"Nico!" I whispered as he bit the tip of my scarf and pulled it down from my nose with his teeth. "What if Wor—" his lips pressed tightly into mine, taking all my breath away. I instantly eased into his as he did with me, I retracted the blade on my arm and he relaxed his arm, allowing me to grab his cheek and pull him even closer. He bit my lip and I gasped slightly, giving him enough space to slip his tongue in. I smiled at the sweet trick.

Suddenly his forearm left my collar and slid under the curve of my back, his right hand drifted down between my legs, causing me to squirm in a hot flash of excitement. He quickly lifted me from underneath him and I instinctually wrapped my legs around his waist, pulling myself onto his lap. His grip between my legs became stronger and I pulled my lips away from his to breathe. He didn't skip a beat as he moved his smooth, wet lips down my neck; I began to gasp and tighten my fists in the back of his shirt, struggling to stay quiet as he began to rub harder and harder. My heart began pumping harder and harder, my breath even harder to catch as I began to tremble against him.

I clenched my eyes shut and felt him jump to his feet. We rushed back and he pushed me back into a tree, a breeze of cool air against my wet crotch gave me a shock as both his hands moved under my hoodie, cradling my waist. His skin was so warm against mine as I felt him harden between my legs for the first time. "Nico!" I gasped loud into his ear from the intense tingling from the pressure; he pressed harder as he tightened his hands around my abs.

"Say my name." I opened my eyes to his fire coal eyes burning into mine. His hand darted from my waist, slipping under my tight bra and grabbing my right breast. He twisted my hardened nipple between his heavy fingers and I moaned sharply. "Say my name." He repeated and I threw my head back.

"Nico!" I yelled in a mix of pleasure and pain and I bit my lip as I returned to the trunk of the tree. He pressed his torso against me and slipped his under hand from my waist under my jeans and thong. His warm, thick fingers pressed into me and I felt the heat burn my cheeks and chest as I yelled out for him again. He pressed further and further into me and I kept yelling, I felt so tight against his fingers that—my eyes shot open as did his.

"Fuck." He grumbled as he let me back down. I buttoned my jeans and quickly shot my left hook up and landed on a high branch.

I was lying on the snowy branch; face down when Worick strode up on his horse, a second one tied behind him. He was wearing the green Scout trench coat and had a bundle of clothes tied to the horse. I rose to a sitting position and rubbed my head as I winced.

"Kaia!" Worick called. "What the hell happened? You're miles into the woods. It's been 3 hours! You're only supposed to doing an hour's worth—"

"It's Nic's fault!" I called back. "I can't find him, I went for a tackle and—"

"You know you're not supposed to—"

"Yeah, yeah." I called down as I jumped the 30 feet to the ground. I rolled to his horse and stood slowly. "Fury never did real tackles, just the sneak stabbing attacks from the back. I don't want to have to kill every time though—you never know." I shrugged into his skeptical eye. "Anyway, I flung us somewhere when his sword caught my cheek and I can't find him." I looked around, actually searching. "Nico!" I tried to imitate the same yell from before.

He grunted from behind both of us. I turned to see him emerge from some bush, twigs and leaves caught in his jet-black hair. Quit it, you're giving me a headache. He signed in Worick's presence. She did well this time, except for the ending tackle. I rolled my eyes.

"Alright alright, I'll stop trying."

"It's taken me an hour and half to find the two of you." Worick shivered. "C'mon, you can't be late to the announcement." I nodded as Worick reached his gloved hand to me and grabbed it. He hoisted me up behind him and untied the second horse for Nicolas. "Jesus, you two are like space heaters." He shivered into me, cinching further into his scarf and coat as I wrapped my arms around his waist. He clicked his heels into the horse and we began trotting, I looked back to Nico, he smirked at our nonchalance as I rode off.

"What do you think they do?" Sasha whispered to Connie as I walked past.

"I don't know but it's loud as hell. Like they're breaking the trees." Connie whispered back. I ignored them, just as I ignored everyone else. It was the safest bet—just withdraw from everything. No excitement or challenge meant maybe I could control that part of me better and then I wouldn't change. I moved into my position and took the salute.

Withdrawing was much easier than I thought—especially now with Nicolas and Worick around. After the past few weeks with Nicolas, my vision had improved where I could see 10 yards around me when he was anywhere on campus grounds, approximately about a mile or so. I had to keep my new vision a secret from everyone—including Noah, who would've raised the alarms as soon as I mentioned it. I didn't know exactly who was at play here, now knowing what I was, I couldn't trust anyone—including myself but Nico and Worick did a great job isolating me from the others.

Annie took her position next to me and saluted in silence, something I appreciated because it really did bring me pain to ignore her for so long. I missed our antics but it wasn't safe, the voice could return if I became too excited and I now knew its true power. All I wanted was to be alone, in a place where the Scouts or the Renegades could never touch me again.

Eren smiled at me as he made his way to the line on my right and I couldn't help the small grin I sent back, still so sweet when I hadn't spoken a word to him in god knows how long. It made me happy seeing him happy. Above the rest of them, the hardest to ignore had been Eren. The first time I saw him, I almost fell back on my ass in shock. His eyes—his big, beautiful, green eyes…every time I looked into them I saw Isabel again, it was torturous. I know understood why I 'attacked' him all those weeks ago, his eyes matched hers with every sparkle.

"You're bleeding Cadet." I looked up to Shadis, who snuck up in front of me. Noah trailed behind him; something was off in his gold eyes. I raised my hand to my cheek; a dash of dark red glistened on the tip of my finger. I quickly brushed my left cheek with the back of my hand, the silver wrappings moved like cloth but were tough as metal. It was still numb from where the side of Nico's katana caught me. He may have gotten me this time but it was no secret I was getting better.

"My apologies sir." I meekly replied, keeping my eyes on his dirty boots. The obedience he wanted didn't seem to satisfy him.

"New hood?" He remarked as he examined the black metallic hood that flowed perfectly over my head, it had fit better than anything I had ever worn. I hid it under the trainee jacket, which subsequently hid the bulky forearm devices from his view. "And jeans…?" He spoke of the matching black jeans that hugged the curvy muscle I worked these past years to gain; they fit as a thicker skin, free enough so I could feel each breeze with protection as it also had strips of the strange black metal woven in-between the threads.

"Yes sir, Jackson gave them to me." I answered honestly to the incredulous man, I had been training in this attire for awhile now, how long had it been since Shadis saw me? "It's all weighted, adds about 25 pounds." I lied about the mysteriously lightweight armor, just as Worick told me.

"Mmhmm. You have no shoes?" His voice was heavy with curiosity and I felt eyes dart to me. I followed his glare to my silver wrapped feet and wiggled my bare toes; everyone was suited up in their own trench coats and scarves to match, I would've overheated in that nonsense but it worked out to look like Worick was torturing me in the cold. To the regular eye, my straps looked like meek grey strips of cloth that shimmered in light but they were woven with silver, keeping my feet strong. They were extensions of the straps for 3DMG, same function as everyone else's only mine were thinner and stronger. They were skinny enough to not be bulky or uncomfortable like the leather so I could wear it on my bare skin without it tugging or pinching.

"Uh yes sir… Jackson says boots are for real soldiers." I lied once more for Shadis's approval but his eyes were on my hips.

"I'd rather her not have blades either." Worick came up behind me I went to step back for him. "Keep that salute." His whipped a riding crop across my right thigh and I winced, grumbling in fake pain as we practiced. Shadis smirked as I made my right leg wobble to keep salute.

"I was wondering where her gear was." Shadis commented to Worick. I still had the basic metal chassis of the regular gear around my hips. It looked useless but I had thinner gas tanks strapped to my back, hidden under a plate of the lightweight, black metal that fit around my torso like a corset. There were hidden metal rings under my silver straps on each finger that controlled the actual gear; they took the place of the annoying hand triggers that held the long blades. It was completely functional and I didn't have to lug around the big containers for blades like before. "Looks like you've got this under control." Shadis's lips creaked up to a small smile on the right side as he moved on. Noah slowly followed him, his eyes stayed big on me. I smiled back but he kept the same plain look of confusion and horror. Worick pinched my cheek and smiled at my grimace. He followed Shadis to the staging area in front of the lines. I watched as the girls stared and drooled slightly as he passed, it was pathetic but amusing nonetheless. Sasha's mouth was fully agape as it usually was when the tall blonde was in sight; Connie kept his eyes down, his face red and his jaw grit tight.

I felt warmth on my back and knew Nico was lurking in the crowd somewhere. He never liked being in the spotlight as Worick did; it comforted me to know he had my back while Worick entertained the troops in front of me.

"You're horrible at acting." Annie whispered and I eyed her back, she pulled her lips back to a slight smile, mirroring my own.

"Cadets of the 104th." I turned back to Shadis's booming voice. Noah stood behind him with the trainers, his face still pale and plain, it worried me. "Our deadline for teaching has been shortened due to recent, troubling events. Our grading will begin in two weeks and last for another 3 weeks. We will be drilling on an 18-hour basis instead of 12 hour, you will no longer have Sundays off and you will have one day of relief, the day before grading begins. Begin studying now, the classes will become much faster paced and you are expected to understand everything fully. Any questions, address them to Lee Church. You are dismissed." The murmurs started as soon as Shadis finished. So he made Noah his bitch, at least he was guaranteed to graduate when I did. Suddenly the entire camp came into view and I saw Worick's face clearly—something was obviously wrong. Nico put his hand on my shoulder, I looked up to him and was taken aback, I'd never seen him worried.

We need to move, fast.