Chapter Seven: His Touch

My mouth was dry and had the funkiest taste to it when I woke up the next morning.

My mom was so happy Brian was back; I could see the hope in her brown eyes glimmering. She was complete again. It was hard on her. Sometimes she couldn't eat because she didn't know if Brian was hungry, or sleep because she didn't know if Brian was warm.

But the stress in her voice and the burden in her heart disappeared when she saw him, and I'm sure it happened a little with me to. My mom loved him more then anything, but Brian was never really fond of her. He even told her he hated her several times over the coarse of two years.

But he was back!

And the whole family was mending, just like we break when he leaves.

And Brian knows that. And Brian takes advantage of ever little skimmer of hope or love he can bring.

Anyways, I woke up to shuffling around and then this banging. I heard I door creak.

Peering through the darkness I saw Brian's slender figure opening the door and leaving. My heart skipped.

It was early, and I was achy from the events of the day before, but I jerked out of bed and ran after him, catching him at the inn door.

He was holding his bag of belongings and was walking briskly as if eager to leave. I almost died.

"Brian!" I screamed, running towards him. He almost died when he saw me.

"Meg!"

"What are you doing!" my tears spewed.

"I have to go."

"Its only been one day!"

"I know."

"What about me?"

He sighed.

"Don't you love me?"

He sighed. I gaped.

"Of course I love you, but I have to leave."

"What about mom? Do you know how happy she is to see you? We thought you were staying! Maybe not forever but for more then a day!"

"Megan, please don't cry," he strapped his arms around me. I let him, though I shouldn't of.

"Why?"

"Because, it hurts me."

"Then why are you leaving!?"

"So I don't have to see your pain!"

"That a bunch of crap, Brian! You're crap!"

He stared at me. "Guess I was wrong. You've beaten me at insults this time."

"This isn't a game," I argued.

"I'll miss you," he told me, turning to leave again.

"Wait! Can I ask you something?"

"Mmm?"

"What's your color?"

He pondered for a minute, but didn't look at me like I was insane, which was what I had expected.

"Yellow."

And then he left.

I whispered for him to come back, and kept hoping he would. But he didn't.

I almost freaked, and I started to pinch the soft skin inside my elbow, but quickly stopped, reminding myself that hurting my body wasn't going to heal my soul.

Though it sure felt good to hurt myself.

So I kept doing it.

Until it bled.

Eager for something to do, now that I was wide I awake, I dashed back into my room, forgetting everyone was sleeping.

And then it occurred to me that I was going to have to tell my mom when she woke up that Brian was gone.

And I'd have to see all that pain plaster on her face again.

I panicked. I couldn't do that. I wouldn't!

This was Brian's fault.

I got ready quickly, brushing my hair and washing the funky taste out of my mouth.

I threw on a pale peach dress that was a little to long for me and slipped on my white boots. Then I left before anyone woke up.

It wasn't the right thing to do. I should've waited and told them right away, but I shouldn't have had to tell them anything in a way.

Brian. I hated him.

And I just wanted him to come back home with all my heart.

The sun was just up outside, and I hurriedly made my way down the streets.

I was going to the cathedral. Yes, I did disagree with most teachings of the Catholic Church, but we believed in the same God and would go to the same heaven. Not to mention I had no where else to go.

I walked up to the big doors, gaping at the two rows of statues that stared at me everywhere I went.

It was beautiful inside, with pillars lining the halls and candles covering the place with a pure glow. I could hear the faint drone of chanting, and I relished in the beauty and cleanness of it all.

God, I thought, my mind hurting with every heart beat, I don't know what to do. This isn't my life, it's yours but...I feel like everything I've done lately was for me. I love him. You know I do, because you put that love in my heart! What do you want me to do? Brian broke my heart...again. I don't want to have to tell them! Its not my fault! Its not! I just...

"I thought you were protestant?"

I swung around, and stared into black eyes.

"Clopin?"

"That I am."

"I am protestant," I said, walking over to him. He was dressed in an orange shirt with yellow breeches that went to his knees, which showed a darker yellow tight. "I just needed a quiet place to clear my mind."

"Well, then its good I came! I can clear your mind of everything!"

"Wearing that, you can't! I'll be seeing stars for weeks!" I smiled at him, comforted by his presence.

"Oh, please, stop with the flattery!" He rolled his eyes, but then stared at me kindly. Concernedly. "Really, though, what's wrong?"

"Brian. He left."

"Why?!"

I shrugged as if I didn't care, but my eyes got hot and my nose tingled.

He put a hand on my shoulder, and I felt white hot surges fly down my spine, and I shivered slightly, a silent tear flowing down my cheek.

He leant down to my level, and stared at me eye to eye. "Don't cry, Meg, please."

My face tightened, but I managed to squeak, "Why?"

"Because I...I shouldn't think of you the way I do," he admitted, and my hands shook with excitement as my stomach lurched with uneasiness.

I opened my mouth, but nothing came out. Instead I just smiled and nodded, like some fool.

And he laughed.

And then he kissed me, caressing my head with his hand. I opened my mouth a little and he deepened the kiss, sending feeling unnamable through me.

I put one of my hands on his chest, and felt the imprint of a rosary.

I drew back, speechless.

He smiled at me, twirling a finger through my hair. "You didn't like it?"

"No, I...just. I'm so young! And..." and my bottom lip fits yours so perfectly I can swear it was fate, I thought, "wait. In a couple years we can, and just wait."

He leaned back and his heel, as if thinking about it.

"You drive a hard bargain."

I smiled like a fool again and nodded.

He grabbed my hand, and lightning shot through me. "Come help me set up."

I nodded giddily again, a slave to the soft touch of his fingers.