I thought I would do a late thanksgiving Chapter so this chapter will begin with a little banter. Lets see if I can make up for last chapters un-funny moments. Ready. Set. GO! (I've been playing to many racing games lately)
Names
"Questions"
-Actions-
=Setting=
I own nothing pertain to the Elfen Lied series.
Wolf: Welcome back to another segment of are you smarter then a fif-
Bando: WRONG SHOW! WRONG SHOW!
Wolf: Oh right I didn't disclaim ownership to that show so the hardass admins would have sold me out faster then an Playstation on black Friday.
Kaede/Lucy: What?
Wolf: Wait do they even have black Friday in Japan? God I hope not.
Yuka: What's black Friday?
Wolf: Its the Friday after thanksgiving where everything is super cheap in the stores, because of the price cut people fight and rush to grab what ever they can for lower prices.
Yuka: Well that sounds pretty dangerous.
Wolf: Well considering that people have been robbed, shot, pepper sprayed, and been trampled in a stampede of greed folks I would be believe so.
Kaede/Lucy: The pinnacle of humanity is still just a bunch of monkeys fighting for bananas.
Kouta: Hey isn't thanksgiving the holiday where all the Americans go eat chicken at KFC.
(Fun fact: People in Japan actually believe Americans eat fried chicken from KFC at thanksgiving not turkey.)
Wolf: -Face Palm- Yes Kouta we Americans just love are Kentucky fried chicken. OK enough of that lets begin the questions! ninjakat405 says:
"I just finished Elfen Lied and I cried! On the inside though, because I don't cry. Anyway, I stumbled upon this and wanted to give out more lovvveee! (so sappy sounding) So, questions!
Kouta: How could you accept Lucy after you found about the murder of your family so easily! Yeah, you said you weren't going to forgive her (or something like that) for that, and yet you still let her touch you! I know you liked her as a kid and she's pretty hot now (hey, even though I'm a woman doesn't mean I can't appreciate awesome boobs and hair) that doesn't mean you should just brush something away like that. Especially if it was the murder of your family.
Yuka: If you two are cousins...how can...you like...Kouta...like that? That's incest...and it's gross.
Bando: Your eyes got ripped out by Lucky, right? Than how come you can still see?
Nana: I love you! You're like the sister I've always wanted! (because my real sister is a pain...it doesn't help that were twins). You're so cute, and funny, and kind, and I love your hair - and I need to stop gushing. XD Do you look up to Kouta as a brother, or a father, or a friend?
Mayu: Same question. How do you view Kouta and Yuka?
Lucky: Is every female Diclonius have pink hair, and every male is bald? Is it true that your the only one that have babies, and the only way to make more Diclonius is through Vectors? Can a male and female Diclonius make more? And has anyone ever thought of you as Dr. Octopus?
Whoop! Such random questions... XD"
Wolf: Yes a new reviewer and a new Elfen Lied fan! Welcome to the fandom ninjakat405!
Kaede/Lucy: Yay a new fan who will most likely attempt to either look up or draw porn of me.
Wolf: Lucy shut the hell up before you piss'em off and she won't return. Kouta your up.
Kouta: Hmm I think you haven't read the manga have you?
Wolf: I she has, you see the manga answers a whole lot of questions to the massive questions the anime left behind but I'll get these people to answer you regardless.
Kouta: Well I admit It wasn't Lucy I was really forgiving, It was Nyu. Even though Lucy did all those bad things if I had turned her away I would have been turning away Nyu as well, Nyu was innocent and I couldn't forsake her for something Lucy did. The nice hair and boobs where just a bonus.
Wolf: Oh for the love of god you just had to make a heartfelt speech completely pointless didn't you.
Yuka: Well I just loved Kouta, I don't know how to explain it but It something deep inside me.
Wolf: Oh be quiet Yuka, we all know that rape and incest are a huge part of anime and manga. But I know why you wanted Kouta so much. -Puts on Overalls, a lumberjack shirt, and straw hat- Well Yuka here is just a bona fide country red neck I reckon.
Yuka: What I am not a red anything! You take that back.
Wolf: No child I don't take very kindly to empty threats, I do declare. Mister Bando if you would be so kind.
Bando: Yes she torn them up, oh I got new robotic eyes. Its suck though because now it looks like everything is drenched in piss.
Nana: Oh thank you so much! I love your hair too.
Mayu: But you can't even see it.
Nana: I'm just trying to be nice. I already have a father, he's more then a friend, but not a brother either. I guess Kouta is like my uncle or something.
Mayu: At first I didn't know what to think of Kouta because he just seemed to nice, I thought it was some kind of trick. But Kouta and Yuka have became like parents to me.
Yuka: Aw I love you two. -Group Hug-
(Fun Fact: This is way to mushy.)
Kaede/Lucy: Ah Wolf could you answer her.
Wolf: Ah I'm sorry most of you question for Lucy is explain in the manga and I don't want to spoil it for you if decide to read it. But Lucy can still answer the rest that was answer in the anime.
Lucy/Kaede: Yes its true only the queen, which is me can have children through sex. Using Vectors just spreads the Diclonius virus which makes more Silpelites. Silpelites are born sterile and can only make more Silpelites. Doctor who?
Wolf: Not Doctor who, Doctor Octopus, the guy with metal death arms coming out of his back kinda like yours except not invisible. Doctor Who is the guy who travels around time with an old fashion phone booth.
Lucy/Kaede: What are you on Wolf? I've never meet or heard of this Doctor Octopus guy but I'm pretty sure I could beat him in a fight.
Wolf: Considering a teenager in full body tights that can climb walls and shoot spider webs can beat him I think your a safe bet.
Mayu: I think we need to send Wolf to rehab.
Wolf: Thank you ninjakat405, I hope that you that what little they could answer was enough. Time for question number two! Its are old pal Maiko2853 come to pay use a visit. Maiko2853 says:
"Nana, what is it like trying to move your prosthetic limbs?
Mariko, (hands over a bowl of chicken noodles) would you please eat this and tell me how much you like or dislike it?
Yuka, my sympathy goes out to you for your molestations at the hands of Nyu. So your hetero and Kouta rejects you, so who are you going to go after now?
Kouta, you take up Nyu and Lucy on her offers, but reject Yuka and Nozomi's. What gives?
Bondo, many people assume you're against pedophilia because you beat up the Unknown Man for trying to rape Mayu. However, other people believe you just beat him up because he tried to hurt your friend. So is it one or both of these reasons for kicking his ass?
(hands over an aluminum baseball bat) You may need this in a few seconds Bondo.
Mayu, other than your mother, did you ever try to tell anyone what happened between you and your stepfather?
Nozomi, you have a lovely singing voice. But are you good at imitating other people's voices?
Kurama, what was it like being in a state of insanity after Mariko died?
Hiromi, you have your family now, so what are you going to do first?
Nousou, why do you like chocolate so much? I highly doubt it's because of your alleged pedophilia.
Barbara, you're free now and allowed to roam around, with the high prospect of a happy ahead of you. How does feel knowing you're going to be able to enjoy all the good things in the world now? Also, I just have to ask, who was Nousou bathing with that go you so riled up?
Lucy, you always complain about how humans are bad and evil. I realize you've had a hard life and your early experiences soured your opinion. But does this give you the right to do what you want while disregarding the opinion of everyone else, especially considering a large portion of your actions put you right in the same area as the Kakuzawa's?
Nyu, so you don't regret any of your actions... okay, if this is true, then why do you try to deny such situations take place in Maple House when the other residents bring it up?
Arakawa, (points at boobs) so how much did the implants cost?
Wolf, so how's your sanity holding up in there? You can rent out a space at my place if you need it."
Wolf: Nana your up kid.
Nana: Don't call me a kid! At first It was a little tricky and sometimes when I lose focus my arms or my legs just pop right off. Although I did get use to it pretty fast.
Mariko: -Looks at chicken soup funny- What is this?
Hiromi: Its soup, honey. Here let me help you. -Start feeds Mariko the soup-
Mariko: mumm...Its good~ So delicious. What are those pink things?
Hiromi: Chicken dear, haven't you ever ate chicken before?
Wolf: She has never ate before period.
Mariko: -Enter Adorable face- I love chicken soup~
Kurama: I'll be sure to buy some later.
Yuka: Thank you at least someone cares. Hmm that's hard I mean pretty much male in the cast is either ugly as sin, or evil as hell, I'm pretty much stuck.
Wolf: Well Nousou reformed, and he is a pretty boy.
Nousou: No thank you she not my type.
Wolf: What if she was seven years younger and wearing a dress then would you go out with her?
Nousou: Shut up before I feed you to the clone Diclonius.
Wolf: Point taken. Kouta.
Kouta: Well Yuka is my cousin and I love her as my cousin, I might have pursued a relationship with Nozomi if I had never met Lucy and Nyu.
Lucy/Kaede: -Glares at Nozomi- Don't get any ideas.
Nozomi: -Curls into ball- I won't, I won't, I won't, I-I wet myself.
Wolf: Bad Lucy -Hits Lucy with a rolled up newspaper- No threatening the harmless ones. Bando!
Bando: Both. Pedophiles are disgusting enough as it is but this prick -points to Unknown Man- was trying to rape an underage girl that I know so of course I'm gonna kick his ass. -Takes bat- Hey cool. -Starts swinging it- Why I'm I gonna need this for?
Mayu: I never told a soul, not mister Bando, not even Kouta or Yuka.
Kouta: Told us what?
Mayu: Nothing.
Wolf: What do you mean nothing? Your stepfather used to molest you on daily basis when you where like eleven to twelve years old.
Mayu: How did you know!
Wolf: I know everything.
Bando: He used to do WHAT! Where is that f*cker!
Wolf: Backstage.
Bando: I'll be right back.
Wolf: Oh please do take your time.
=Backstage=
Bando: Hey you do know a girl named Mayu?
Mayu's Mother: yes she used to be my daughter.
Bando: Are you Mayu's stepfather?
Mayu's Stepfather: Yes, just who are you?
Bando: I'm Bando motherf*cker. -Raises Baseball bat-
=Front Stage=
Wolf: Do you hear that? That's the sound of just desserts.
Mayu: It pays that my best friends are either really nice or psychopaths.
Nozomi: I'm not to good at imitating but I can do a pretty good Yuka.
Yuka: Oh lets hear it.
Nozomi: -Imitating Yuka- Kouta-kun will you go out on a date with me?
Yuka: That sounds nothin-
Kouta: Yuka for the last time, I will not go on a date with you.
Wolf: Damn she does a better Yuka impression then me.
Kurama: I felt like garbage, like trash. I felt like everything up to that point could have been avoided if I had just been a hypocrite. Every moment I just kept picture Mariko giving herself up to save me, a father who did nothing for her.
Mariko: Oh that's not true papa! The last few minutes of my life with you I was happier then I was in my entire life. -Jump Hugs Kurama-
Kurama: But everything is ok now I have two wonderful daughters and my beautiful wife.
(Fun Fact: This part was so sweet I got diabetes.)
Hiromi: I intend to live with my family like a normal wife would, and help Mariko and Nana better understand the world.
Nousou: Well of course its not cause I'm an alleged pedophile.
Wolf: I still stand by that.
Nousou: Well that's because your an idiot. I think my love for chocolate started when I was just a young boy, you see both my parents where doctors, my father was regular Doctor and my mother was a nutritionist. Because of that I never ate any candy. However one day when I was a boy it was white day, and this girl gave me tons of chocolate as a gift. She wanted me to eat it all saying that it would be rude if I didn't. So when I had that first bite I was hooked, now I eat chocolate everyday when ever I can.
Barbara: What good things? All I see is a bunch of monkeys.
Nousou: There are good things in life, here try this. -Hands Barbara some chocolate-
Barbara: What the hell is this?
Wolf: Just eat it.
Barbara: -Munching on the chocolate- ...
Wolf: Well?
Barbara: -Tackles Nousou- GIVE ME THEM! THERE MINE! -Takes Nousou's chocolate-
Nousou: I think she likes them.
Wolf: Barbara finish the question.
Barbara: Nousou your not gonna stop me now, I'm sick and tired off Nousou taking bathes with Alicia, Cynthia, and Diana.
Nousou: Oh crap.
Barbara: I mean why don't I get a bath? Is it because there prettier then me? That can't be it where clones for god sake. So why don't you want to take a bath with me Nousou?
Nousou: Eh?
Barbara: Enough of that where going to take a bath now! -Picks up Nousou-
Nousou: How the hell are you this strong!
Wolf: Shes not even using her Vectors.
Barbara: -Carries Nousou off stage-
Wolf: Hmm Reverse rape. Lucy.
Lucy/Kaede: I admit I've done some bad things in life.
Wolf: Some?
Lucy/Kaede: OK a lot of bad things, but I am sorry for most of it.
Wolf: Most?
Lucy/Kaede: I'm not sorry for killing that jerk who killed my puppy and his friends. In truth I don't hate all of the human race, some of them are just so good and nice but I'm jealous.
Wolf: Of what?
Lucy/Kaede: Of the fact you don't have horns! I bet if I didn't have horns none of this every would have happened.
Kouta: Its OK Lucy I love you just the way you are. -Surpise Hug-
(Fun Fact: This is still to mushy.)
Nyu: I don't regret the groping but I don't want people to think I'm weird.
Wolf: Darling that ship has sailed.
Nyu: That's why I deny it, and I'm kind of embarased that I can't control myself.
Arakawa: -Pulls lab coat tight around her body- How dare you! I'll have you know that these are one-hundred percent real.
Wolf: -Cough-Realfake-Cough-
Arakawa: Hey screw you man!
Wolf: Oh shut up you virgin. My sanity is hardly intact thanks for asking, I would love to rent out a room but these cheap bastard don't pay me enough.
Lucy/Kaede: Your getting paid?
Kouta: Why aren't we?
Yuka: I want money for my pain and suffering!
Crowd: -Chanting- Pay us! Pay us! Pay us!
Wolf: The lot of you shut it before I re-kill you!
(Fun Fact: I want money too!)
Wolf: Oh shut up Fun Fact bar.
~End
I liked this one, don't know why I just do.
