Madara's office was downtown. It was common knowledge the old man worked late, so Sasuke didn't feel the slightest bit guilty storming out of the elevator at 10 pm and hammering loudly on the door. The receptionist had gone home already, and security lightened after six, which meant there was no one to stop him from reaching his destination.
"Enter," Madara's deep voice intoned, and Sasuke waited until he was buzzed in before throwing the door wide open and stalking inside.
Madara barely looked up from his work. Long fingers flashed across an expensive-looking laptop, the light casting his face in shadow.
"Sasuke," he remarked. "What brings you here at such a late hour?"
"What did you tell her?" Sasuke demanded, cutting right to the chase. His head hurt, half from Jack Daniels and half from his argument with Sakura Haruno. He was tired of trying to make sense out of the incomprehensible, tired of trying to play catch-up in a game that seemed to have ended years ago. He was sick to death of people withholding the truth from him, especially when he was so deeply involved with it, his happiness contingent upon knowing what was what. He'd had a headache for two years now, it felt like, and knowing that his own uncle had something to do with the worst break-up in recorded history made him want to kill someone.
"I'm sure I don't know what you mean," his uncle returned smoothly, not even looking up from his laptop. "I smell liquor on you, boy. What have I told you about…"
"What did you tell Sakura?" Sasuke snapped. "Two years ago. She said you were involved."
Madara finally glanced up at his nephew, and his expression was almost lethal. It was the same expression he'd seen his uncle wear right before he'd torn into a professional enemy.
"Did she now," he sighed. "That's most…unfortunate. I was under the impression that our…ah, conversation was meant to stay confidential. It grieves me to know that she felt the need to…"
Sasuke crossed the room in three strides, and had Madara by the collar of his expensive suit jacket, black eyes menacing, temper at an all-time high. Sakura hadn't been lying to him; whatever happened between them two years ago, Madara was involved somehow. He couldn't possibly guess why, but like hell was he going to leave here now without some answers.
"What. Happened."
Madara rolled his eyes and in a movement too swift for Sasuke to spot, had wrenched himself free of his nephew's grip. He dusted off his suit and closed his laptop with a hefty sigh.
"We discussed the obvious," he replied coolly, unruffled by Sasuke's temper, which only made him angrier. "And the inevitable. Miss Haruno was kind enough to see things my way, of course. You'll have learned by now that I can be very…persuasive."
"Damn it, what the…"
"You wanted answers from me, did you not?" Madara's voice was cold. "Then shut your mouth and listen. I visited Konoha University several years ago hoping to meet the girl who had charmed you, hoping that you might have selected someone from your social class, someone who could easily one day assimillate into the Uchiha family, a young lady with a proper pedigree and a good family name.
"You can imagine my disappointment when the girl I found was the orphaned daughter of two low-ranking former employees of your parents. Really, Sasuke. You've always had a rebellious streak; I should have known that you would find the girl least-suited to you, to punish me."
Sasuke couldn't believe what he was hearing. How had he never heard? How could Sakura have kept this from him?
Madara had gone to Sakura, decided she wasn't good enough for an Uchiha heir, and somehow gotten her to call off the relationship.
"Before you go flying off the handle," his uncle said dryly, reading Sasuke's furious body language like an open book, "remember that I have only ever acted in your best interest, and in your parents' stead. Were they alive, they would agree that my intervention in your doomed relationship was wise.
"Miss Haruno could have objected, of course, but she saw sense the way you someday will: that she was never meant to be with you, that you were always meant for greater things. And she has found her own success elsewhere, has she not?"
"I never cared about her family," Sasuke spat. His headache was intensifying, his gaze almost red, and all through it all, Madara remained apathetic. "I never cared that she wasn't rich, or from a good name. What the hell would that matter?"
"You should know by now that the Uchiha…"
"The Uchiha are dead," Sasuke snarled. "You and I are all that's left of them and you took away my goddamn…"
"She left, Sasuke." Madara's voice was hard as nails, and the expression on his face was ruthless; he knew he'd played his trump card, and Sasuke had no defense against it. "Blame me all you like, but you're a grown man now, and you should be able to open your eyes to the truth. Regardless of what I said or did, she left you of her own volition. No one held a gun to her head. No one forced her to go."
Sasuke wanted to fight against it, but his uncle had a point he couldn't deny. The choice to leave had, ultimately, been Sakura's. She could just as easily have told Sasuke what Madara confronted her about. He would have taken her side, without a second thought; he would have ended all contact and communication with Madara Uchiha, severed his ties completely with his broken family and moved on, with Sakura by his side.
But she hadn't so much as breathed a word to him about it. Not until two years later, in a moment of distress she'd tried desperately to take back, but the damage was done.
"Look at you now, my boy," Madara said softly, his tone paternal, even proud, as he laid a hand on Sasuke's shoulder. "You've graduated top of your class from college. You'll be attending a first class law school soon and carrying on in your father's footsteps. You're right: you and I are all that remains of our esteemed family, but from the ashes of their tragedy, we shall rise to more glorious heights. And all you have accomplished…all you will accomplish in your family's name…has been done by you and you alone, without her. Without the distraction of a woman, without the weakness of a woman."
Sasuke couldn't wrap his head around this revelation. Couldn't figure out much of anything that was happening, that had happened two years ago, and he hated how far he'd fallen behind. He'd lived his life like a puppet all this time, going through the motions while someone else pulled the strings, and no one, not the uncle he respected, not even the girl he loved, thought him capable of handling the truth. So like a fucking child, he'd lived the last two years in the shadow of their lies, and if there was one thing Sasuke Uchiha hated more than anything else, it was a liar.
His anger with Sakura soared to new heights.
He would have given anything, everything back then for her. Surely she had to have known that? When did he make it unclear? They'd been so fucking happy back then. He thought she knew.
But she'd held out on him. He couldn't forgive that and he damn sure couldn't forget.
"Sounds like you guys have everything worked out so far!" Naruto said, laughing. "Guess I underestimated you."
"S-Sakura's been just w-wonderful," Hinata gushed. "And I-Ino, and T-Tenten. It's been so e-e-easy so far!"
It was a warm night as they made their way to the restaurant together, and Hinata loved these moments with her fiancee best. The world raced on and on around them, but it felt like there was nobody else but them. Naruto held her hand in his, his fingers large and rough and warm, and his laughter was infectious. Everything amused him, everything pleased him. He was such an easy person to talk to, to relate to, to get along with, and sometimes, she still had to pinch herself to remind herself that they would be together forever.
It still felt like a dream, one she was too frightened to wake up from.
"I don't see why we couldn't have gone to Ichiraku," Naruto commented, pouting a little, but it lacked any sincerity. "I haven't had ramen in three days, it's starting to get on my nerves."
"The girls w-wanted p-p-pasta," Hinata replied. "And you should b-be grateful th-they're helping us out s-s-so much," she added teasingly.
"I am, I am, I am. Bah. Still, why would you want pasta when you can have ramen? It's pasta, too, in a way, ain't it? Makes no sense how someone could just say no."
There was no changing him. She sighed, shook her head, but smiled to herself, because she wouldn't have him any other way.
They made it on time to the Italian bistro a few blocks from their apartment, and looked around to see Sakura waiting for everyone, alone at a table set for eight. She was wearing a little blue dress and her hair was pulled up into a ponytail that looked effortless, and not for the first time, Hinata was deeply, deeply envious of her best friend's careless beauty. Not only was Sakura exceedingly lovely, but she had this bone-deep confidence that you only ever found in people who knew their self-worth. It was a confidence she hoped to feel someday herself, but for now, she would admire it in others.
"H-Hello, S-Sakura," she said with a smile, and Sakura looked up from the menu she'd been perusing to return it.
"Hey!" she said happily, standing to kiss Hinata on the cheek. "You look gorgeous, Hinata, I love that dress! Can I have it?"
"Uh…"
"Hey, Sakura!" Naruto boomed. "Where's my kiss?"
Sakura giggled and blew him one before ushering them to sit down. "I showed up too early like a loser," she confessed. "So I've just been sitting here waiting for someone to come so the other people here wouldn't think I'm this great big dingus with no friends pretending she has friends. I memorized every appetizer, lunch special, and senior citizen's item on the menu. How was your guys' day?"
"Great!" Naruto replied, seizing a menu and cracking it open without any further ado. "Hinata made the tux fitting appointment for me and the guys tomorrow morning. She won't let me get orange, though, for whatever reason."
"Can't imagine why not," Sakura quipped, exchanging a secret smirk with Hinata.
"Our dress f-f-fitting is t-tomorrow as w-well, S-Sakura."
"Oooh, really? I can't wait! I love dresses. When are the others getting here?"
"Asshole's on his way now," Naruto replied, looking at his phone and drafting a confirmation reply to Sasuke. "Seems more pissed than usual."
Hinata glanced at Sakura, who avoided everyone's eyes and took an abnormal interest in her nail beds.
"Neji just left to pick up Tenten from the gym," he went on, reading another message, "and Shikamaru and Ino…"
"Are right here!" sang a voice from behind them, and Hinata turned to see both of them cutting through the restaurant to take a seat at the big table. Ino, who had announced their arrival in typical dramatic fashion, plopped down beside Sakura. "Did I hear something about a dress fitting tomorrow?"
"Y-Yes," Hinata said. "At f-four."
"Which boutique?" Sakura asked interestedly.
"Madame S-Suzume's."
"I literally can't wait," Ino said excitedly, stars in her bright blue eyes. "I look so fucking good in black. Right Shikamaru?"
"Whatever, Ino," he drawled without interest.
"Get your head out of your ass, Hogulous," Sakura snapped. "We're supposed to be helping Hinata find her wedding dress!"
"I didn't say I wasn't excited about that, rudian. Just that I look fucking awesome in black and so I can't wait to find something I look awesome in."
"Oh, whatever," Sakura scoffed, and then she stood. "I have to run to the bathroom real fast, be right back. If the waiter comes, can someone order me a drink?"
"Sure, Forehead. Pick your poison."
"Uh, whatever you get, I don't care. Surprise me, Swine-Flu."
"Sure thing, Mega Skull."
The door opened, a balmy breeze following, and Hinata looked up to see that Sasuke had arrived. His gaze seemed to zero in on Sakura as she crossed the restaurant, and she glanced around to see if anyone else had noticed. But Naruto was poring over the menu, and Ino was arguing loudly with Shikamaru about his less-than-enthusiastic support of her beauty in black; she returned her attention to Sasuke, who moved towards her, his hand touching her shoulder lightly.
Sakura looked up, then flinched away when she saw who it was. Hinata flinched, too. That wasn't the way they were supposed to act around each other. Granted, it had only been a couple of days since Sakura's return, and it would be ridiculous to assume they'd go right back to normal right away, but her heart ached for the pair of them. It was so obvious to Hinata that they were meant for each other, but life had been cruel.
She couldn't make out what they were saying, but Sasuke seemed to be talking very quietly; Sakura, grim-faced, nodded in response, said something in return, and abandoned her trip to the bathroom, returning to the table.
"Sorry to bail, you guys," she said with a sheepish smile that didn't reach her eyes, as she grabbed her purse. "But…"
"Go," Hinata said, sparing her the awkwardness of explaining the inexplicable. Naruto, Shikamaru, and Ino all nodded curtly, and even though probably none of them knew what Sasuke wanted to discuss with Sakura, all of them recognized that it was top priority.
Hinata was not alone in rooting for the two of them to reconcile.
"I'll see you guys tomorrow," she said, expression grateful. "Um…yeah. For the fitting. Just…let me know where to be when, okay?"
"Sure," Ino agreed with a supportive smile. "Go get 'em, Forehead."
Hinata watched Sakura return to Sasuke's side. Neither of them looked happy; instead, there was a grave understanding that passed between them as he cut a swath to the door, Sakura following behind him, until they had left.
She crossed her fingers under the table, wishing with all her might that whatever was about to happen was something good.
Ino caught her eye and nodded subtly, and both girls threw up a silent prayer for their closest friend.
Two years was a long time to have a broken heart.
The ride to Sasuke's place was completely silent.
They took his car; she tried to fight against the familiar feeling of riding shotgun with the cutest boy in school, but nostalgia won out every single time. She felt eighteen again, the wind in her hair and Sasuke's calming, comforting presence making her immortal, like nothing had changed, except everything had changed, and there was no going back there.
No matter how much she might want to.
Now she was 21, full-grown, her new life in full swing in a country hundreds of miles away. She was here like a wraith, passing through but never staying long enough to cause anymore damage than she already had. Her relationship with Sasuke bitter and acrimonious, a shadow of how happy they'd once been together. And it was all her fault.
Sasuke said not one word to her on the way back. He drove too fast, like he always did, and he kept his eyes glued to the road; she snuck peeks at his face and noted that his jaw was clenched peculiarly tight, but beyond that, his expression was indecipherable. He was a fortress, and she hated that he felt the need to protect himself so securely against her.
I never meant to hurt you, she thought, full of regret, tears burning in her eyes as she kept her gaze on the Konoha scenery rushing by her out the window. I left so I wouldn't cause you anymore pain. I didn't want to take your family away from you again, Sasuke. Please tell me you understand!
How could something have seemed so right at the time hurt so badly?
She'd done the unselfish thing, hadn't she? Broken it off with the boy she loved to her core. Left so they wouldn't torture each other anymore with thoughts of 'what could have been' if things were different. Restarted in a new place with all new people just to give them both a chance at moving on. It was her that Madara had threatened, wasn't it? And she'd allowed herself to be played and manipulated, all for the chance to give Sasuke the illusion of the family he wanted so badly.
So why was she still being punished for it, all these months later?
She barely noticed Sasuke's car pull into a parking lot until he'd stopped, and gotten out. Remembering where she was, she was quick to follow as he led her to a tall brick building, an apartment complex she recognized.
Still, he was silent as he moved purposefully inside, through the locked doors, up three staircases, before leading her inside his apartment.
He must have just moved in days ago, she reasoned, looking around surreptitiously, like he'd yell at her if she was too obvious in her inspection. There were still boxes that had yet to be unpacked in the sparsely-furnished rooms, and the place had a stale, unlived-in air to it that she knew would evaporate once Sasuke had been there for awhile. He had this unbelievable warmth to him, a warmth you'd never expect to find in him, that made every place he visited feel like home, as long as he was there. The thought filled her with such a long-dormant longing that she wanted to cry.
Instead, she waited until Sasuke took a seat on one of the two wooden chairs in the kitchen, and the expectant look on his face gave her permission to take the available one.
Predictably, she was the one to break the silence. She always was.
"Why'd you bring me here, Sasuke?" she asked quietly.
He regarded her carefully for a few moments, and she got the sense that he was trying very, very hard to control himself. There was a thinly-veiled aura of fierce rage brewing behind his beautiful black eyes, but instead of unleashing it on her as he'd done two nights before at Ichiraku, he seemed to be attempting to tamp it down.
"I talked to my uncle," he replied stiffly.
Sakura's stomach flipped in anxiety. That was bad, that was very bad news. A thrill of fear coursed through her as she recalled Madara's barely-concealed threat all those years ago, but it was overshadowed by her dread. Dread that Madara had revealed to Sasuke exactly what she had been trying to hide from him: the tragic truth about his one surviving family member.
"You did."
"He told me he talked to you. Back when we…"
"Yeah. He did. But it really wasn't anything serious. Just…you know. Typical overprotective family member thing, didn't want you…slumming it with…girls like me." Sakura made a valiant stab for lighthearted humor, but she couldn't battle the sadness in her voice.
Sasuke paused, his deep frown unsettling and attractive all at once. He was so intense in everything he did, and it made a familiar heat steal through her stomach at the look of concentration on his handsome face. She bit her lip.
"I…didn't think he…would go that far," Sasuke said carefully.
"Sasuke it's fine. It's in the past, isn't it? Can't we just leave it there?"
"If he made you feel like you had to leave…like it was what I wanted…"
God, Sasuke, don't! Please don't do this, please don't tell me you wanted me to stay. Please don't tell me what I want to hear!
"It was my choice," Sakura said, weighing words herself. "To leave, I mean. And I don't…I don't regret it." Lies, lies, lies, but this was necessary. To protect Sasuke from the truth about the family he so respected, and to protect herself, she needed him to believe that Madara was but a minor influence in her decision to move away. "You did well without me. I knew you would. I would only have dragged you down, so…"
"You didn't tell me anything," Sasuke said, anger seeping into his voice, black eyes full of something she couldn't identify. "You never told me he came to talk to you. You never told me why you were leaving. I deserved to know."
Sakura stood up abruptly, before she could stop herself, and moved directly in front of Sasuke. She placed her hands on his shoulders, absently swooning at how hard and muscular they were, before remembering her mission and staring hard into his eyes.
"You did," she agreed. "And I would tell you I'm sorry if I thought it would fix anything, but it won't, so I won't waste my words or anymore of your time."
"Sakura…"
"Leaving you," she whispered, "was the hardest thing I've ever done. But your uncle was right. He's only ever looked out for you, Sasuke. He was right to…to tell me what he told me. I don't hold it against him."
More lies. More of them, spilling out of her mouth, and Sasuke…didn't he deserve to know the truth?
Tears filled her eyes, and Sasuke read her like a book.
"There's something you're not telling me," he said sharply, accusingly, and he stood up, too, towering over her (when did he get so tall?!). His fingers wrapped like snakes around her biceps, and he shook her lightly. "Damn it, Sakura, two years of fucking lies and silence…what aren't you saying?"
He was so close now. Too close. Sakura couldn't do it. She couldn't take his family away again; her reasoning from two years ago returned full force, because Sasuke deserved better than the truth. He deserved the lie. He deserved the illusion that his uncle cared about his wellbeing, that he had family in the world that was looking out for him, rather than looking to control him. Who was she to take that away from him?
"Sasuke I'm so, so sorry," she whispered. Quickly, before he could shake her off, she wrapped her arms around his neck, resting her head on his collarbone. He stiffened under her touch, but he didn't push her away; if anything, judging by the way he trembled as she held him, it felt like he was fighting against his urge to hold her, too. Tears spilled from her eyes, soaking his T-shirt, but still he didn't move.
"I never wanted to hurt you," she promised, and it was true. The truest thing she'd ever said to anyone. She held him tighter, drowning in his warmth and scent and presence. "I…I did it because I loved you, Sasuke, please believe that. And I know you hate me, I know you won't forgive me, but…"
He was too close now. Way too close. His eyes met hers, then drifted to her lips and back up again. She knew what it meant, she knew what his hands sliding from her biceps to her waist meant. She registered the change in the scorching atmosphere between them, the subtle shift that heralded a moment of fierce connection, and was as powerless as ever to fight it.
"I'm so sorry, Sasuke," she whispered.
"Don't give me that," he hissed furiously, and in direct contrast to his wild words, he pressed a harsh but chaste kiss to her lips. Her heart almost exploded, her body was on fire, and subconsciously, she pressed closer to him, wanting to melt into his skin. "Don't give me that shit, you fucking liar." Another quick kiss, like a brand. "For two years you lied to me."
"Please, just…"
His grip on her waist tightened, almost bruising, but she didn't notice. Her head swam, drunk with his presence and terrified of him also, as in love with him as she had ever been but petrified by the depths of her own feelings. She would do anything for him, even now, even at the expense of her own happiness. And what the hell kind of connection was that, anyway? It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair.
And God, she loved him. Loved him still, loved the way he kissed her again, this time longer. His mouth moved insistently against hers, almost begging her to reciprocate; it wasn't a loving kiss shared beneath the blankets of his dorm room bed. It wasn't a sweet kiss stolen as they passed on the quad. It was harsh, it was almost violent, it was raw and a punishment and I still love you and I'm sorry and I hate you and everything else she couldn't say to him.
The sun set outside, and as Sasuke drew back to stare into her eyes, she couldn't tell if it was a beginning or an ending.
note.. nowhere near finished with this :) if you guys know anything about my stories, it's that kissing doesn't fix every problem. in fact, more often than not, it causes problems. and i can't wait to share what's gonna happen next. don't shoot me, plz.
what did you think? i love hearing from all of you. lovelovelove.
xoxo daisy :)
