A/N: I'm so sorry I haven't updated in so long! But I was sick, had a crazy basketball schedule, and lost my notebook in which I write all my stories. So, to make up for it, here is the longest chapter yet! Enjoy!

Disclaimer: "Own Doctor Who or Harry Potter, I do not," I say, as I channel Yoda. Read to find out why I included Harry Potter in the disclaimer ...

Word of the Day - Gimcrack

Gimcrack – (n.) A showy but useless or worthless object; a gewgaw

Even though the Doctor didn't "do" domestics, even the TARDIS had to go through spring cleaning. Mind you, the Doctor didn't instigate this cleaning. Oh, no. It was Rose. As happy-go-lucky as Rose was, there was still enough Jackie Tyler in her that she felt the need to do a big clean up once a year. But when she mentioned the fact that it was about time for a spring cleaning to the Doctor, he quickly objected.

"We're in the Vortex! There isn't any spring here!"

Rose rolled her eyes. "Doctor, it's spring somewhere."

So, the Doctor was finally maneuvered into cleaning the TARDIS. He wined and moaned and gnashed his teeth, but this was one terror he couldn't escape. If anyone but the TARDIS had been there, the TARDIS would have been filled with laughter as they saw Rose tear through the TARDIS like a whirlwind, surprisingly leaving sparkling cleanliness, organization, and a bewildered Doctor in her wake.

By day 6 of Rose's spring cleaning reign, they had made it back to the closets in the depths of the TARDIS where the Doctor kept all of the "treasures" he had collected in his travels. Rose was utterly amazed by all the stuff the Doctor had. Every little item that she saw had to be explained to her and so, while they did not get much cleaning done, the Doctor and Rose had a wonderful time.

Eventually, they reached a door labeled "gimcracks". Rose looked at it in confusion and asked the Doctor what the heck that meant.

"Oh, that's just an old word for interesting looking but useless stuff," the Doctor replied airily.

Rose looked at the door with renewed interest. "Well, that sounds like fun," she said brightly before opening the door, walking into the room, and pulling the Doctor in behind her.

Immediately, a bright light flooded the gimcrack room, revealing the piles of very interesting stuff that were all over the room.

"Doctor," Rose exclaimed, "you've got a lot of junk!"

"Hey!" the Doctor protested. "Don't diss my collection!"

Rose just laughed and then prepared to have some fun. She reached into a pile and then pulled out a beautiful crystal object with jewels on it that looked like a snowflake. "What's this?" she asked the Doctor.

"Oh, that?" The Doctor looked amused. "That is a mnemonikli. It causes the bearer to forget the last thing they were talking about."

Rose looked at the Doctor, interested, but then, her eyes became unfocused. A second later, she shook her head and then looked at the Doctor, confused. "What was I going to say?" She then noticed that she was holding something. "What the- oh! Isn't this pretty? A little showy, but anyway … What is it, Doctor?"

Smiling, the Doctor replied, "It doesn't matter."

"But I want to know!" she protested.

"You'll only forget everything I say."

"No I won't. I- wait, what were we talking about? Oh, how beautiful! Doctor, what is this?" Rose asked as she held out the mnemonikli.

Getting tired of being in a constant state of déjà vu, the Doctor snatched the gimcrack from Rose's hand and threw it behind him. "Oh, just junk."

"Hey! I was looking at that!"

"Rose, that was a mnemonikli. It was causing you to forget what it was every time I explained it to you."

"Oh," Rose said sheepishly. "Well, that must've been annoying ..." Then she noticed a clear glass sphere on the top of the pile next to her. Picking it up, she turned to the Doctor. "So, what's this one?" she asked and then gasped as the inside filled with red smoke.

The Doctor burst out laughing and couldn't seem to stop. "That's … a … re-remembrall," he gasped between paroxysms of laughter. "It-it turns … r-red … when you've … f-forgotten … something ..."

"Well of course I've forgotten something! I was just holding the … oh!" She burst out laughing as she realized how completely useless the remembrall was.

A couple of minutes later, the ridiculousness lost its novelty and Rose looked around for something else interesting to look at. She noticed a blue tie that looked perfect for the Doctor, grabbed it, and before the Doctor knew what she was doing, threw it around his neck.

"Why have you been hiding this in here? It's perfect for you!"

The Doctor didn't answer, but instead, stood there as if in a daze.

Rose began to get worried. "D-Doctor? What's wrong?"

All of the sudden, the Doctor dropped onto all fours. "My Rose, my Rose, my Rose, my Rose! Pet me, pet me, pet me- bacon!"

Now Rose was seriously weirded out. But she wasn't going to pass up the chance to be allowed to run her hands through his hair. She petted him a couple of times and then squatted down beside him and watched him lean his head into her hand, looking blissful. "That's really weird, Doctor. You're acting … like a puppy ..."

Shaking her head at how weird everything in this room was, Rose took the tie off the Doctor. Immediately, the Doctor snapped out of it.

"Seriously, Doctor? Seriously? A tie that makes you act like a puppy?" She smiled.

"Yeah. That's why it's in this room ..." The Doctor looked petulant after realizing that he had made a fool of himself, but he couldn't resist Rose's smiling face for long and soon broke into a grin himself. "Come on, maybe we should go … clean … somewhere else." He wanted to get them out of this room before anything else happened.

But Rose hadn't learned her lesson. "Hang on a second – what does this do?" she inquired as she picked up an absolutely gaudy, golden scepter. A second later, she started jumping up and down on one foot. "D-Doctor? What's going on?" she asked as she hopped.

The Doctor looked at Rose smugly. "I told you that we should have left. Now you won't be able to stop hopping until you spill your darkest secret. That scepter is a veratorum. It will keep increasing the things you have to do until you tell someone your secret."

As soon as the Doctor said that, Rose started patting the top of her head as well as hopping on one foot.

"What?" Rose exclaimed. "I can't tell you my greatest secret! Can't you sonic this or something?"

The Doctor said nothing and just continued to look incredibly smug. If Rose hadn't been otherwise occupied, she would have tried out a Jackie Tyler on him.

"Fine – be that way!" she said angrily. She was beginning to panic. She was getting really tired from all the jumping but she couldn't tell the Doctor her secret. The universe might implode or something! She would have to make something up that was believable and would shock the Doctor to get him back for being such an unhelpful, insufferable Time Lord.

"Alright, I didn't want to ever tell you this, but … Jack and I shagged," she finished, all in a rush.

The Doctor's face went completely blank. He felt as though someone had punched him in the stomach until Rose's hopping speed doubled and she started hopping in a circle. Then he began to laugh. "Did I mention that if you lie, whatever you're doing get's three times harder?"

"Ugh! Fine!" Rose yelled. "Fine! I give up! I love you! I love the Doctor! Are you happy?"

The world stood still just as it had when she had told him that she had shagged Jack. But this time, it was for a very good reason. Dazed by her revelation, the Doctor said, "Ecstatic," in a dull voice, still in shock.

Rose heaved a sigh of relief as she was able to stop hopping. Then, she looked at the Doctor, slightly hurt by his unenthusiastic response.

Noticing Rose's hurt look, the Doctor snapped out of it and exclaimed, "I mean, completely overjoyed! I mean it, Rose, I really do. I love you, Rose Tyler," trying to show his sincerity with every word. But he could tell she didn't believe him, he could tell that she thought he was just being nice. So, to prove that he, a Time Lord, had fallen completely and utterly in love with her, the Doctor strode forward, took Rose into his arms, and snogged her.

When they broke apart a couple of minutes later, Rose gasped, "Alright, I believe you!" Then she smiled, "You're really stuck with me now!"

"I know," the Doctor said ruefully as he noticed where they were standing. "This is a Bethuzian sticking rug. We won't be able to leave each other's side for the next 24 hours."

"You know, that's not a bad thing," Rose remarked, seductively. "I can think of lots of things we can do when we're stuck together ..."

"Oi, get your mind out of the gutter! You must've gotten that from Jack," the Doctor complained.

"So, does that mean you don't want me to do things like this?" Rose said as she moved in to kiss the Doctor long and hard.

That caused the Doctor to change his mind. "Never mind," he murmured. "Stay where you are. I think I like this gutter."

A/N: I know, I know. The remembrall is from Harry Potter, but I couldn't resist using it. I've always thought that the remembrall was rather useless ... First person to review gets to give me a two word prompt for the next chapter!