Chp VII: Handiness (Damn it.)
Disclaimer: I don't own RWBY, I don't own Rooster Teeth, I also don't know anybody who owns RWBY or Roosterteeth.
"I'm writing an essay about why we shouldn't have homework...as homework...WHY?!" ~ ARK
Ru-Red was right, this elevator is on the side of Salem, thought Belladonna. She had inserted earplugs into all four of her ears. As for why she had earplugs in the first place? After knowing Yang Xiao Long for a total of ten years, one learns to always keep earplugs in stock...or they could just be like Red and adapt to sleeping through the nightly thunderstorm. The elevator doors opened with a relief-inducing ping. If she had to hear another play of 'The Touch' again, it would be one time too many.
"Blake Belladonna," greeted Glynda, looking up from her papers.
Belladonna unplugged her earplugs. "What?"
"Blake Belladonna," repeated Glynda, looking sympathetically at the cat-faunus. She understood very well the pain the woman had just went through. "What brings you up here?" Usually people avoided the journey like a plague. Though Glynda may or may not have hid the existence of a set of stairs leading up to the office...hey, she liked not being interrupted, like any self-respecting person would.
"Just Belladonna for now," the cat-faunus said, crossing the room. "Red, Ruby, by the way, insisted on new names." She would never admit to her girlfriend she actually found it kind of cool.
"Belladonna then." Glynda nodded.
Belladonna looked around. "Where's Ozpin?"
Glynda's hand twitched. "Taking a 'break'. He said something about having to get a new and improved Maple Coffee."
"He's always taking breaks," muttered Glynda, seething to herself.
Belladonna, having cat ears and such, picked up on the woman's words. "Ah. So he's like Weiss."
Glynda blinked. "Weiss?" The current SDC heir and assumed future President?
"You'll see eventually," said Belladonna cryptically. She tilted her head. "On the other hand, I have a message I want you to pass on to Ozpin."
Ruby had gotten a little better from the morning. All she had to do was not think about- No! Don't go there! She walked consciously in front of Yang, not really wanting to see her sister's face for the day...or the week for that matter. Ruby opened the door to Team RWBY's dorm, ready to cuddle up and sleep for the night.
"So, how'd your classes go today?" asked Red, lazily lounging on the floor of the dorm.
Ruby jumped. "Oh! Wow, didn't see you there, future me."
"Call me Red," said Red. "All this future, other dimensional stuff is a real headache."
"Red?" asked Yang. "...because you wear the color red a lot?"
Blake gave her partner a 'no duh' look. Weiss was still on cracked eggs. She had scored a fat 0 on her dust project because 'it blew up and future versions of Team RWBY popped out' was apparently not a satisfactory answer. Of course she didn't say that, Glynda had warned them it was probably not a good idea to talk about the time-travelers or else people might question your sanity, but still. Glynda and Ozpin should've cooked something up!
"Well there is that," said Red with a shrug. She looked at the team impassively. "No one's answered my question yet."
"It was school," Yang shrugged. "Y'know the usual Grimm experience."
Red snorted. She had to give the younger version of her older sister (what.) a pass on that one. The girl was still young! "Oh yes, how was Professor Port's lesson?"
"As sleep inducing as ever…" muttered Blake, walking to her bed.
Weiss went to her desk (newly fixed, thanks to one Glynda) slowly taking out a large textbook and began studying mechanically.
Ruby dragged herself to her destination, namely her bed.
Red decided to take pity on her younger self and if there was anyone who knew what the girl liked it was Red, being her future self and all. She stood up and stretched. "Alright then, Ruby, would you like to see my Crescent Rose?" She hasn't taken out her baby in nearly a whole day, something that hadn't happened since she was still enrolled in Beacon. Red was starting to feel agitated.
"Really?!" Ruby exclaimed, a mood-switch flipping off inside her brain. She turned her full attention to Red. "You have Crescent Rose with you?! Do you have any cool upgrades?!"
Red sweatdropped. "Ma ma, calm down." She reached inside her cape. "And of course I have it, can't leave home without it."
She took out a red machinery reminiscent of a compact suitcase.
Ruby tilted her head. "Eh? Crescent Rose got smaller?"
Red grinned and pushed her aura into the weapon. It suddenly grew into a scythe nearly double the size of herself. A final mechanism released the scythe point, which made a neat cut on the dorm wall.
"Huh. Oops," said Red, looking at the slash. "Should've taken that into account."
Blake and Yang stared. Even Weiss looked up and joined in the staring. Ruby's eyes had turned into stars.
"Oh my Oum! It's huge!" she exclaimed. "What else is it?"
"Well," said Red. "It's also a gun, sniper rifle to be exact, your Crescent Rose already has that. And it's also a rocket launcher, and also a really big sword, and most importantly, the best cleaning device you could ever have."
Ruby blinked. "Crescent Rose...a cleaning device?"
Weiss shivered.
Inside Weiss's Mind
Red is whistling a tone nonchalantly. She was sweeping the ground like a normal, average person. Then the perspective zoomed out to reveal her actually holding Crescent Rose upside down as a broom.
"Yep," said Red. "I added in a vacuum function because Weiss kept on bugging me about cleaning up the house or whatever." She and Blake were not the tidiest people in the world. Empty water bottle? Who has time to throw that thing out?
Weiss twitched. "...I'm glad you listened to future me?" She wasn't sure what to feel about one of the supposed deadliest weapons in the world also being a vacuum cleaner.
Red patted Crescent Rose appreciatively. "It works great as a party trick too."
"...I can imagine," said Blake.
An idea suddenly appeared in Red's mind. Belladonna was supposed to take care of their job business so she had some free time the next couple of days. "Hey, what'd you guys say to a competition?"
"A competition?" asked Yang, interested.
Red smiled. "Team RWBY and JNPR against me and Belladonna, that's Blake by the way."
"Eight people against two?" asked Weiss. "What. Do you have an enlarged ego?"
"Hey!" Ruby said. She had to stand up for herself after all.
Red ruffled Ruby's hair. "Don't worry, it'll be a piece of cake for us."
Ruby pulled away and pointed a challenging finger at her older self. "We won't go easy on you just because you have less people either!"
...she really was a cute kid. "Sure, kid."
"I'm not a kid!"
Yang and Raven stood far apart at the center of the bandit camp, looking directly at each other.
Yang tilted her head. "Alright so...what's your Challenge?"
The Challenge declaration was something she had learned from future Raven….who was still a jerk, but at least she was trying? And besides, Yang always wanted to get some (a lot) things off her chest. This was the perfect opportunity! The Challenge was….something the leader of the Branwen tribe had to accept. The leader got to choose what they were doing as a Challenge and if the challenger won they got...something. At the time, Raven had been bragging about winning every single Challenge she had ever gotten...so Yang kinda toned her out. Hey, tea time was boring alright?
"The Challenge is simple," said Raven. "I like to keep things simple."
The grimm-masked woman waved at the makeshift arena. A bandit had made a circle using their semblance earlier. Apparently it made sure elemental effects wouldn't get out of the arena.. "This will be a double match...Vernal is my chosen partner."
Hence why the girl was inside the line.
"You must either make the opponent incapable of fighting, move out of the border...or dead." She was really going for the last one.
Vernal grinned. "Heh. You're at an disadvantage here, two against one."
Yang frowned at her. "What are you talking about? I didn't even announce if I had a partner or not."
Vernal blinked. "But you don't have anyone with you."
Yang pulled out her wallet. She opened it and flipped it upside down. Lien from her various adventures while getting here fell out, along with turtle food… and a turtle.
All the bandits collectively blinked.
"Mertle will be my partner," declared Yang.
The turtle looked at his owner, then at the opposition, and yawned. It plopped onto the floor, looking bored out of its mind.
Yang glanced sideways at her turtle. "...a little support would be nice."
Mertle ignored her.
"You wish to...make a turtle your partner?" asked Raven. This woman was a crack case.
"Not just any turtle! This is Mertle we're talking about here!"
...definitely a crack case.
Vernal laughed. "All talk and no bark I see."
"The Challenge will begin once we have declared our names," said Raven. If anything, at least she was polite enough to ask for someone's name...nah, mostly she wanted to know who knew so much about her and the Tribe. Besides, they had nothing to lose, the woman probably already knew their names.
"Vernal."
"...Raven." Doesn't mean she has to like giving out her name though.
"Mertle can't speak yet, so Mertle."
Raven resisted the urge to facepalm.
"So after I say my name we start fighting right? Just making sure." said Yang. She was thorough even if she didn't seem like it.
"Yes," said Raven impatiently. This has gone on far too long.
"Great, ITS YANG!" Yang grabbed Mertle and chucked him at Vernal. …Vernal collapsed on impact.
Wait, what? Before Raven could form another coherent thought, she felt something slam into her body. She looked down as she flew through the air. ...was that an arm?
Yang, now with one less arm, grinned. "Looks like I won by an arm's length. Eh?"
Somewhere in the crowd, a bandit chuckled. He was quickly silenced… violently.
Raven crashed landed into a building, creating a nice human sized smoking crater. She grabbed the arm's hand. It slipped out of its glove, revealing a yellow bionic arm. She's an amputee? The bionic arm suddenly came to life, walking on its fingers, it went in the direction of the border. What?
"Raven has crossed the border!" declared a bandit who had a sinking feeling he wouldn't be surviving through the night. "...and Vernal is-"
Vernal ripped the Oum-damned turtle off her face and threw it to the side. She shakily stood up. "Now you've made me mad."
Yang tilted her head. "Do you need a hand too?"
Moon felt tingles go through her body. She abruptly paused. Darn, my Yang senses are going off…she must've made more than one bad pun in a row. The sweating shady gentlemen and women looked at her, hoping for a break from the firing-*ahem*- 'business' meeting.
"...Teal, I believe it's your turn."
They all deflated.
"Wow, so 17-year old Weiss was responsible?" said Red. "That's new."
Weiss turned red in embarrassment.
"Mm, well you did say there's a time for everything." Suddenly, Belladonna felt as if lightning had struck her. "...I think someone just butchered the English language."
Electricity started forming on Vernal's skin, her eyes turned blank.
"I'm definitely feeling a scene rip-off from somewhere..."
"Imbecile!" Vernal threw a lightning bolt at Yang.
Yang dodged to the side. Lightning striked where her right arm would've been, then deflected off of the barrier and flew back at Vernal. Vernal held out a hand and the lightning bolt dissipated.
"Oh, I have to record this! Sari, record!"
A video camera popped out of her bionic arm's wrist. "Understood."
Yang grinned. She lit her left arm on fire. Her eyes turned red and her hair erupted into flames. "Heh, I might actually get a decent challenge. Bring it on, Spring Maiden!"
Vernal levitated off the ground. Not bothering to answer, she started throwing lightning bolts nonstop at Yang, Yang steadied her arm, took aim, and flicked her fingers. A fire wall erupted out of the space between her hand and the air and crashed with the lightning.
Vernal grinned. Lightning always beats fire.
She started levitating back down to the ground. Vernal felt air racing towards her. Eyes widening, she quickly dodged.
Yang smiled as her fire filled punch narrowly missed the younger girl. She landed on the ground with a slam. "Didn't anyone ever teach you to be aware of your surroundings?"
"What?"
Yang looked pointedly at the ground beneath Vernal. "Don't worry, I made it as pain free as possible."
Vernal looked down. A large circle reminiscent of alchemy incantations looked right back at her. She paled.
Yang snapped her fingers. Dried lava erupted out of the circle, sending Vernal flying into the stratosphere.
"...and that, people, is the difference between an experienced Maiden and a barely capable one."
She coughed. Stupid problem acting up again. "Mertle, what are you doing?"
The turtle ignored her and crawled back into Yang's wallet. He exerted an air of 'don't bother me anymore, lady.'
"...we need to work on that attitude of yours."
"Raven has crossed the boundaries!" declared the same bandit from before. "...and Vernal… is somewhere...likely crossed boundaries!"
"Our winner is the Challenger! YANG!"
"My name isn't screamed." Yang frowned. "What gave them that idea?"
"YANG! YANG! YANG!"
Raven wobbled up to the woman, glaring at her. "Congratulations," she said drily. "You're the new leader of the Branwen, or whatever your last name is, Tribe."
Yang paused. "Say what?"
"You're the new leader of the Tribe."
"...that was the reward for winning?"
Raven stared. "You didn't know?"
Oumdammit mom, emphasize the important parts. "...you guys better have a lot of pen guns and turtle food."
Raven, who was usually a very calm person (by bandit standards), threw her hands in the air. "We're all doomed."
Short Story I: The Origin of Mertle
Jaune sighed. He really did hate cleaning up after his coworkers. They were all great, don't get him wrong, but they were kind of...crazy. Not Nora level crazy, but combined they were pretty close.
Which is how he ended up standing in the President of the Schnee Company's office with a turtle in one of his hands.
"I heard you needed me?" asked Weiss, coming into the room.
"Are you ever...actually in your office?"
Weiss waved away the inquiry. "Not important." She sat down at her desk. "So, what do you need?"
"Well, remember how we wanted to find a way to decrease and increase radioactivity at will?"
"...of course, didn't I give the go for that one?"
"No. One of your summons did."
"Right."
"Anyway, some of the scientists decided to experiment on turtles," explained Jaune.
Weiss frowned. "Turtles? Don't you usually use rats?"
"Well yes, but some rat faunus...es? faunusi? thought it was offensive. So turtle it was, apparently."
Weiss looked at the little turtle in Jaune's hand. "And I'm guessing you did something with that?"
Jaune nodded. "This is the first radioactive turtle in the world...hopefully." Radioactive turtles in sewers didn't sound all that safe. "It's basically indestructible."
"...I'm not going to ask how you know that," decided Weiss. "And why are you showing me your indestructible, radioactive turtle?"
"Well it kind of needs a place to live," said Jaune. "So I thought maybe you could find it one?" He was really going on a stretch here, but he sure wasn't going to ask his own team. He didn't even want to know what Nora might do, anything Ren did will eventually get to Nora...and Penny might just decide to test the turtle's indestructibility for herself…in every way possible.
Weiss mulled over the idea. "Yang could use a pet."
Jaune sweat dropped. "I don't think that's a good idea."
"What's the worst that could happen?"
The worst happened.
"Yang! That turtle isn't a weapon!"
"Anything can be a weapon if you try hard enough!"
Author's Notes: And here is Chapter VII! (add cheery music). No seriously, seven is my favorite number. A lot of anime use seven, a lot of things are seven, I like seven. Seven Deadly Sins, Seven Servants, Seven Dragon Balls, Seven Tailed Beasts, Seven Treasures, Seven Wonders of the World… the list goes on. So cheer for seven! Oh and something happened that didn't make Chp. 6 show up the other day…so that kinda sucked.
Will take Omake requests...but first you guys kinda need to write them.
Beta-Reader Credit goes to (*drum roll*)...my ten-year old little brother! Quality Beta-Reader, guys.
Reviewer Responses
Mobydicks: Will do!
merendinoemilliano: *two thumbs up* Because I can…and was that enough Raven suffering for you?
Nightwing2013: lol
Constructive Criticism and Suggestions, as usual.
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