Winter 1999
"You're rather quiet tonight," Don said.
Mona looked up from her book, "Just… distracted."
Don spun the screw driver between his fingers a few moments.
"I… I'm starting to think moving back here was a bad idea," she said quietly.
Don blinked and looked at her, "What led you to that idea?"
"He hates me because of my choice," Mona said.
Don sighed and rubbed the handle of the screwdriver against his head.
"Raph hates just about everything," Don said. "So it's most likely not that."
Mona slumped into the back of her chair, "I feel bad we've been reduced to this. How I could go from being his friend to being his enemy."
He gave another sigh, "Raph just hasn't been the same for while. He probably hadn't even mentioned the circumstances involving Ninjara leaving. Maybe if he did then you'd understand."
Mona watched Don, who in return was watching her.
"Would that change things? She asked.
"It might," Don said. "It's worth at least the attempt."
She closed her book and slowly got up, heading towards the fridge. She plucked out two beers and then went up the stairs leading towards Mikey and Raph's rooms. She tapped the side of one of the bottles against the half opened door.
"Come in," he said.
She pushed the door open with her free hand and he tilted his head at her.
"What's the occasion, Mona?" he asked.
"I think perhaps we ought to have a real conversation for once, instead of talking at each other," she said.
He took the other beer from her with a eye raised.
"You have a subject in mind?" he asked.
She sat down on the ledge of Raph's desk while he sat in his computer chair. She looked at his wall a moment, choosing her words.
"What happened with her?" She asked.
Raph leaned back in the chair and set his feet on the desk, crossed at the ankle. He folded his arms in front of his chest.
"You really want to have this conversation now?" he asked.
"I'm here aren't I?" Mona asked in return.
Raph sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose.
"Which time?" he asked.
"What made her to choose to stay in Alaska," Mona said.
He watched her a moment.
"It was before April chose to go back to her antique business. When she was trying to be a reporter," Raph said. "The six of us had been making our way to Alaska to follow up on a assignment she had."
Mona sat and listened as he told her about Mokoshan's first meeting of them, of Ninjara's reaction to him and of the situation. Including Ninjara almost losing her life because of her wanting to protect a group of wolves from a hunter. By the end of the telling Mona was sitting quietly, the empty beer resting between her hands. She stared at the mouth of the empty bottle with a blank expression.
She saw the similarities in that situation to the one now. Raphael had been genuinely in love with Ninjara, and in the end they parted because things had died down. She had gone to another who best Raphael in a fight. And here Mona was, someone he knew from the past. Someone he had cared for before and she was going to someone else. It made her feel guilty, all the 'bad things' he had done in her mind's eye? Wasn't bad things. He was trying to make things work with them. And she kept refusing because his tactics wasn't what she was assumed to.
" … I see why you're so angry now," She said quietly. "About Leo… About me with Leo."
He watched her, swaying the bottle between the arm draped behind the chair.
"You've always seen me and always assumed I was the same Raph from the birthday cruise. I was a teenager back then. Most obviously now I'm not. We both are at fault for not seeing the other for who they are now." Raph said. "I know that has been our mistake."
She sighed and slumped her sitting position.
"What do you see in him that you don't see in me?" he asked.
Her face screwed up a moment and she looked at him.
"Calm nature, quiet and peaceful when you're a storm. Requests instead of demands," she said. "Someone who wants to be my friend instead of wanting me to warm their bed."
He sighed, "What do you expect from us now, Mona?"
"I haven't told them about your… third shift 'job'. Although I know Donnie already knows. I'll keep your secret. I don't want to fight with you anymore and I don't want you to be upset with me anymore," She said.
He dropped his feet from their position on the desk and moved the chair to be in front of her. She watched as he got up and pulled the empty bottle of her hands. She didn't try to move and just watched as he coaxed her knees to move so he could be closer to her.
"How long do you intend to keep that a secret?" he asked, his face now close to one of her ears.
She tried to coax her body to move but she found herself firmly rooted to the spot. A red flush came to her cheeks.
"Until you choose to reveal it yourself," She said.
She wasn't sure how thing ended up going into the direction it did. Afterwards she felt worse than she did before entering the room. She felt like a traitor. Like she betrayed her friendship with Leo with her actions within the room. While Raph was still asleep she re dressed and exited the room. She pushed herself into the shower and stood under the hot water. Eyes clenched shut she stood there. After a few moments she peeled her eyes open and stared at the tile pattern on the wall. She felt bile rising in her throat and she retched into the tub. Coughing as hot tears went down her face. Once the evidence washed down the drain she shut the water off. Within moments she was dried off and heading back to her room. She brought out her duffel bag and began to pack her things into it. Once she fit all she had brought in she pulled on her shoes and began to walk out of the lair. She felt the presence before she turned to see Splinter watching her from his doorway. She swallowed and wiped fresh tears away from her face. She gave a shaky bow of respect to him.
"I'm sorry, Sensei," she said quietly.
He walked towards her, cane gently tapping against the cement floor. He returned the bow and she made her way towards the exit. Once she disappeared and the bricks slid back together again Splinter sighed.
