The Hook-Up Queen

The summer went by faster than I could've ever imagined. Cool summer nights at the Cullen's private beach house, barbecues with everyone, and just getting lost in the enjoyment of my pregnancy. Before I knew it my stomach was the size of a small, very small, volley ball. I didn't even want to hide it, rather I emphasized it wearing tight tank tops.

One thing that remained constant was my father's reaction to the pregnancy. We only spoke about little one in the mornings, and in the night. He'd ask me how I was feeling and proceed to his day. At first I found an appreciation for the lack of investigation in my life. But now adjusted to my new found ways, enjoying nights staying home with friends and new family, I wanted more. I wanted my father to be excited about the next chapter in my life.

Thankfully there was one thing off my checklist of worries. Little one was perfect, growing at a perfect rate. Perfect was the only way to describe it. Ever since we'd found out everything was in the clear for now as far as genetics, we'd been over the moon. Now only that week did we find out good news about our baby, my career had finally made progress. New Moon loved my article, James Hunter the owner of the company called my personally to talk about how much his wife Victoria loved it. He claimed it was relatable, comical, and brutal. It was something nobody had seen before, especially in a small town like ours. My article would be published Wednesday of this week.

"I'm so excited to see little one, so excited." It was my 16 week check-up, and if we were lucky Leah would be able to tell the gender.

Gathering his stuff Edward smiled. "I know, this weeks a little extra special. We can finally stop calling little one, an it and he/she. And I'll finally know if I have to actually learn how to play football so I can teach him how to play, or if I have to find the most expensive ballet or art studio."

Rolling my eyes I bit my lip. "We still haven't agreed on names. I mean after today it'll be easier but still. Let's focus on that first." Stopping in the door frame of his place I turned around, looking up at his tall figure. I couldn't help but linger a little longer than I probably should have at his lips. Shaking my head I forced myself to focus. "Besides, our son can paint or dance if he wants. And our daughter can play any sport she wants. We aren't forcing gender roles on this baby."

Placing a hand on my face, sliding it down my cheek he spoke so softly. "You know you're going to make the most amazing mother? I believe that-I believe in you, Bella. I know you're always doubting yourself when it comes to all this new stuff. But you're really doing a good job."

Avoiding the ever growing feelings I had buried deep down was becoming a hard task. I realized the little flutters in my stomach wasn't gas, it was actual feelings. Sometimes it was hard to tell if he was actually flirting with me, or just being kind because I was carrying his child. Plus it never helped with my hormones always raging. Rose was the only one who knew how I was feeling. She of course gave advice old me would've loved. However, my life was different, I was different. Not only that but Edward was a different guy. One who deserved much better than a Hook-Up Queen like me. So, for now things were at a limbo. We were friends, bonding over a baby.

"You wanna check out that new place on the corner, near that bakery? I heard their ice cream is the actual best in town now." Edward asked as we waited for Dr. Uley.

Recalling what the nurse had just told me, I sighed. "As much as I'd really love that, like a lot, I'm afraid we're gonna have to stop this habit. Not all of us have a gym in our fancy new homes, and I'm gaining weight like crazy."

Scoffing he rolled his eyes. "You're pregnant, you're supposed to gain weight. Plus the nurse said nothing about it. We can have salad for dinner tonight if that'll make you feel better."

"Are you sure you're not the pregnant one?"

We shared a laugh, hearing Dr. Uley's from the door. "We better hope not." Chuckling she walked over. "So, are you ready to see your baby?" We both nodded, eager. "Let's hope your kid isn't as stubborn as my intern." Looking over I squeezed his hand while Leah squirted the gel on my stomach. Thankfully the doctors learned having it cold didn't do us patients any good. "Alright, we're doing good on measurements. To give you an idea of how big little one is, you've got a little avocado in you." Moving it around more she did the usual markings, everything Edward understood but I didn't. "You two seem to be lucky, avocado is agreeing with us today. One last time, are you sure you guys wanna know?"

Looking to each other we both nodded, we were ready to know what our little avocado was.

"Emmett, I trust you didn't look. We want this to be a surprise for everyone." I asked over the phone, leaning over Esme's granite counters.

Laughing as if it were the most ridiculous accusation he waved it off. "Bells. You know I'm actually twelve years old. Of course I didn't look. I love surprise parties."

Sighing I put down the sandwich in my hand. "Thank you Emmett, don't even mention this to Rosie. Let her think one of us took the envelope. You know she'd get jealous."

"Okay, okay. I'll see you tomorrow sis." Emmett had been possibly the most welcoming other than Edward himself. But according to Em I'd always been apart of the family and now always would be.

Esme and I had been baking almost all day, from blue and pink cupcakes to pacifier shaped rice crispy treats. I was overwhelmed by the excitement she'd been throwing around these past few months. Between Alice and I she had the same amount of excitement my dad would have in his entire life. All the Cullen kids were use to this, saying she was like this most of the time. For me I could never get use to it. Charlie had only ever been truly excited a few times in my lifetime. The first time I threw a baseball when I was four, when I got my license, and at my graduations.

"Did you invite your father sweetie? Or anyone of your friends?" My personal life wasn't something I talked about a lot.

I shrugged trying to avoid the conversation. "I don't think my dad would really be interested in something like this. And as for friends, Rose is practically my only one, I mean other than you guys. I consider all of you my friends, I guess even my family."

Rubbing my back and offering up one of her kind smiles, the ones you saw the mothers on TV have. "Of course sweetheart. Would you like me to call your dad? I can be pretty persuasive, just ask my husband."

"That she is Bella." Carlisle entered the kitchen, setting his briefcase on the floor and placing a kiss on his wife's cheek. "Smells wonderful in here, are you sure we have to wait until tomorrow."

As he sneaked a hand towards a blue cupcake Esme lightly smacked it away. "Honey, we have plenty of guest and these are all for them. Tomorrow will be here soon enough. Why don't you go wash up and get ready for dinner."

I watched the two of them interact, just so in love. They'd been together for over 35 years, married for 32. Before I would've cringed at the cheesiness of their romance. Now? Now I envied everything they had, it was something that made my heart pull inside me. It felt as if it were pulling in whatever direction Edward was in, rushing to him. But my brain was the wall blocking it, but yet it kept rushing back to slam into it once again.

Later that night after I'd arrived home from the Cullen's I found myself just standing in the kitchen with my father. Just like every night lately. He asked me how I was feeling, how the baby was and I'd ask him about work and fishing. Esme's question ran through my mind, a million times. Over and over again. Conversations Edward's family and I had about the baby played on top of those. I couldn't help but remember all the things they'd asked me, how much they wanted to know, the little things too. And I envied it, so damn much. I envied the fact that they got to the point where they were so use to the questions and the emotions in their household. For the first time in my life I let myself get mad about it, about not having a family put together. I got mad that Charlie didn't allow himself to be there for me, that he couldn't allow me to form my own opinions on relationships and babies.

Biting my lip as I sat up on the counter I looked to Charlie. "I'm having a reveal party tomorrow. It's this thing where the doctor wrote down what the baby was in an envelope and we gave it to our friend, well Edward's brother Emmett, and he took it to a bakery. And the baker has put either blue or pink frosting inside so when Edward and I cut it we'll find out what our little one is. That's what we it for now, until tomorrow. And anyways, I want you to come. It'd mean a lot to me, like a lot. You can meet his family, and the people I consider my family now. And you can invite whoever you want too, I know you have the old fishing buddies who always use to take me fishing. So I don't know if they'd wanna come or be interested. But there's going to be lots of food, and the Cullens are the nicest people in the world. You don't have to come though, if you don't want. I'm just telling you this."

Obviously uncomfortable about my oversharing and lack of breathing. "Oh, uh yeah sure. Just tell me time and place, and I'll be there."

Looking down I grinned, jumping off the counter. "Be ready by two, you can follow behind Edward and I."

I was barely able to sleep that night, I felt every kind of emotion hitting me. That had been happening a lot. For one I'd voiced how I felt towards my father and gotten an okay reaction. But the feeling on the top of my list was joy! It took everything Edward and I to not look into the envelope that day. It was an abrupt decision. We'd been so dead set on just finding out.

"Yes!" We both practically shouted at Dr. Uley as she moved over looking at our baby. But as I watched her eyes squinting, focusing I freaked out. "Wait!" I had recalled an idea Alice had thrown around a few weeks prior to our appointment. We were both excited to find out about our babies, she mentioned throwing a gender reveal party. However she'd decided on having a video filmed of them opening up a box filled with balloons colored for the gender. But the idea of the party stuck out, and I knew Esme would love something like that. "Edward, what do you think about a reveal party? I think you're family would love it and it'd be such a memorable way for us to find out about little one?"

Squeezing my hand he kissed my cheek. "That's a perfect idea Bella. I love it."

Looking over at the two of us Dr. Uley went over and grabbed an envelope and tiny sticky-note. "Alright, looks like you two have made your decision, finally. I'll seal this nice and tight."

As she cleaned up my belly I spoke up. "You're invited to come to our party! If you want that is. I mean we're not really sure on specifics but Edward can let you know."

"I'd love to come Bella! Thank you so much."

I was woken up early enough by none other than Rose and Alice, who claimed I needed to look super nice for todays event since there would be a million pictures taken. "Guys, the party isn't until 4. It's only ten, a momma to be needs her sleep."

Rose sighed looking to Alice. "Sweetie, you've gotten enough sleep. We're going to get pedicures after you're ready so that doesn't leave us much time."

"Plus I've got this super adorable outfit picked out for you! So get your little belly and all out of bed." Alice practically dragged me from my nice warm bed.

I had never been one for makeup and hair, let alone dressing all that nice. But my two best friends however were the exact opposite. While I always wore plain shirts and jeans the two of them were all about name brands. Except whenever we went out Rose would throw me into her outfits and do my hair for me. I was always thankful because I would never know how to do any of it without her.

By twelve my hair was all curled and there was a small layer of makeup coating my face. At least they knew I preferred nothing too extreme when it came to this stuff. The two had bought me white long sleeved flowing dress with two bow around my waist, blue and pink. I had to admit I was feeling more and more anxious.

Edward was awaiting outside his silver shiny volvo, wearing a light pink shirt and blue jeans. Rarely I saw him out of his scrubs or a pair of sweats, but damn did he pull off any look. "Why am I wearing blue and pink yet you're wearing pink?"

"Mom told me to wear the color I thought little one would be."

Smirking he pulled lightly at the bottom of the short, stretching it out. "And you think a girl? You want a little girl?"

Following me inside he shrugged. "I mean I don't want to be stereotypical, but I really don't care as long as little one is healthy. But then again I always saw how much my father doted on Alice, she was the only girl and youngest. Even though he adores Emmett and I, he and my sister's relationship is different. So I'd love a little girl. That and I never bet against Alice."

When we entered the house Charlie was standing in the corner of the kitchen, just waiting. He looked nervous upon seeing us enter. He and Edward had only met a few times, had a few conversations.

"Ready to go dad?"

We arrived with plenty of time, watching as all the men in the family were put to work. Hanging lights from the trees, around the tent and all. One side of the tent decorated in all things blue and the other in pink. Dividing the two from one another a giant tyedye box, Which team are you? Blue or Pink? Write your name on the bow rightfully colored and pin! Everything was so beautiful. I couldn't even imagine what our shower would be like. There was already even a table of small gifts, the guests weren't even here yet.

"Oh Bella sweetie! I didn't even notice you were here, I've been so busy between this and planning Alice's video." Esme pulled me in for a hug talking at a million miles an hour. "And this must be your father! Charlie it's so amazing to finally get to meet again!" She took him by surprise, too pulling him in for a hug.

I was proud when he responded respectfully, not even mentioning the hug. "Same to you Esme. I can't thank you enough for being so kind to my Bella."

Grabbing my hand she smiled gracefully. "Of course, she's family Charlie! And so are you, we are going to be grandparents in a few months after all! Nobody would believe it though, I still feel as if we're far too young to be grandparents!" The two shared a laugh until she began to walk. "Come on, we'll get you a drink. There's an open bar so please help yourself."

Starting precisely at four people began showing up, most of them owning fancy cars and giant diamonds. I was shocked to see a lot of them were around Edward and I's age. I had even recognized a few faces, mostly from around town and the hospital. All of Edward's friends from the hospital came which I felt thankful for. I'd been making trips to the hospital often and had been getting to know all of them more and more, even Paul who was sometimes an asshole. Although on the quieter side compared to Rachel Black, Emily Young and I had been getting along the best. She understand a lot of my feelings on pregnancy and relationships, her mother had been the same way as my father had been growing up. We mutually agreed they'd both left us extremely dark and twisty.

I found Sam and Leah to be an odd couple as they walked in with Seth, separating them. After hearing from Emily it sounded as if Sam had really loved her, like true love. Leah had been caught by Sam sleeping with his best friend Jacob back in New York. After that, he fled to Washington to start over a completely new life. That's when he and Em had met in a bar, similar to Edward and I. Except the two kept sleeping together until Leah showed up wanting to fix their marriage.

Eventually after mingling with each of our guests it was time for the reveal. Everyone divided to the appropriate side, even my father participated (I think due to Alice's charm) wearing a blue ribbon on his flannel. I grinned ear to ear as all the Cullens fled to the right side, pink! All of them knew to never bet against Alice.

We smiled at he photographer as they snapped away at us just holding the knife. The cake itself was extravagant. It was a gorgeous eggshell white, two tiered and covered in pink and blue lace fondant. I grinned to Edward as we held the knife together, ready to look at the frosting inside the cake. Practically shaking we cut the cake, looking closely to see what color frosting was inside, more importantly what little one is.

When we saw what color was inside we could've cared less about the actual cake. Looking over to the side we announced little's ones gender. "Alice..you were right. It's a girl!" Everyone, even the boy side erupted into a loud roar of clapping and congratulations. It became one of those moments that you see through the eyes of the main character in a Lifetime movie. The one where it was slow motion because either something really bad or something really good was happening, in my case so good. I swear I say every single persons face, filled with so much happiness over our baby, our baby girl. And I don't know if it was the hormones racing through my body, my lack of patience, or just being happy but I turned towards Edward who was so happy, so happy he was crying. His big smile making his entire face squish up in happiness it just got me. Leaning on my tippy-toes I grabbed his face and I kissed him.

This kiss was different than the last first time. This was the first kiss. Not our drunken mess of one. Here and now with our friends and family, and our little girl. Everything was different, in more than a good way. I was taken away from the moment hearing everyone wooing and whistling. When our lips finally parted he still held onto me, wrapping his arm around my waist while I rested my head on his chest. I was just so happy, nothing could ruin this.

For the rest of the party we walked around, never separating. And every once and a while he'd lean over and peck my lips. It just felt right, and so normal as if we'd been doing this every day. I couldn't even begin to understand how I never wanted this, wanted him. Truth was I had always wanted him, even when I didn't know him. I was searching for Edward my whole life. We were meant for one another.

We were interrupted by my father later that evening. He didn't look as excited as everyone else had, there wasn't anything. I couldn't read his face. "Hey Bells, I think I'm heading home. Baseballs gonna be on soon."

I bit my lip waiting to hear anything else. But when he didn't I sighed. "Alright dad. I hope you had a good time, you want me to bring you home any leftovers?"

"No, I'm good. Bye everyone." He walked off towards his cruiser.

The disappoint didn't take over too long as Esme came over, immediately lifting my mood back up again. But in the back of mind I still held onto my father's face. I couldn't tell if it was disappointment towards me, or the fact that I was carrying a little girl. He hadn't been this way in forever.

As the sun started to set and the guest were all gone all of the Cullens sat in the back porch in silence with Edward and I. We were all just reflecting a great day. Not even Emmett didn't make any comments about our very public kiss. I yawned as we cuddled together on the wooden furniture. Placing a kiss on the top of my head he scooted closer. "You want me to take you home? We've had a long day."

"Yeah, that'd be great. I miss my bed way too much." I giggled standing up, taking his hand in mine. The only thing that would suck about going home was being away from Edward.

We bid our goodbyes and thank yous, hugging each of them a little longer than anticipated. I couldn't help it, I just felt so thankful. This was what life was about. Everything was exactly how it was meant to be. Edward and I were becoming a little family while we awaited the arrival of our little girl, I had an awesome job, my dad was happy for me, and my best friends had become my family.

"Bell! Tomorrow, you, me, mom and Rose go shopping! We need some things for my little niece!" Alice hugged my tight, kissing my cheek.

Esme piped up, remembering a thought. "Speaking of baby things, we better start planning your shower! We can have it at the inn, it can be a tea party theme! Or any theme you want. But anyways, that's a little ways a way. I figured I'd ask now because I was hoping you could dig out a few pictures. One from each month of your first year. Rose said it'd be a cute idea to do a picture clothes line of your and Edward's baby pictures. Just so we can all guess what little one will look like."

"Of course Esme. Thank you so so much, I can't thank you enough. You've been like a mother to me. I just am so honored to be part of your family. I love you." Slowly I was opening myself up to these people. To my people.

After making out like teenagers recklessly trying not to get caught I watched from the doorframe as Edward drove away. Walking in the house I couldn't knock the goofy smile off my face. Only the kitchen light was on, and dad wasn't even sitting at the table drinking coffee per usual. I peaked out the window noticing that the cruiser wasn't even in the driveway.

Shrugging his actions off once again today I grabbed a bottled water and went to my father's room. I'd only been in it a handful of times, and it never changed. There was one photo on the dresser. It was him and mom on their wedding day. Then in the corner was a rocking chair with some clothes thrown across it. The walls were a dark green, making the room seem a lot creepier than it actually was.

Going to the closet I open the big wooden door, to reveal tiny boxes stacked onto each other. I knew there had to be a baby picture somewhere in one of them. Taking out the first one I blew and wiped the dust off the top. I opened it up, sitting on top of the photos was a letter addressed to me, Isabella was scrawled in feminine writing. Taking it out I placed the box towards the side. Turning it over it it appeared to have already opened.

The first thing I noticed was the date at the top. March 21, 1988 the year after I was born.

Bella,

I'm sure you have a million thoughts running through your mind depending on what your father told you. I don't know if you're crying, if you're angry or how old you are. But I guess that doesn't truly matter. You deserve an explanation why I'm not here. Please believe me when I tell you I wanted you so bad, both of us wanted you. When I found out I was pregnant I drove right over to the police station to tell your father. All nine months waiting for you I become so impatient, I wanted to meet our Isabella! And the day finally came. September 13, 1987. It seemed like a million hours for you to make your entrance, but when you did it all faded together. We were so happy at first, then time passed. Your father went back to work and I was left home alone all day, no car, no family and no help. You would cry and cry until your father came home. At first I handled it, eventually I grew so tired. I loved you, and I knew that. But it just became too much. You were crying in the bath and I'd been dealing with you for months. The water was running and I just wanted you to stop. I'm so sorry Bella, I didn't want to hurt you. Thankfully your father came home and saw my hand holding you face down into the tub. Thats when I decided I wasn't good for you, or your father. He loved, and still loves you so much. I know this wherever I am. I've gotten better, I'm getting help. I had post-partum depression and it was left untreated. I love you and hope you can find it in your heart to forgive.

-Mom.

There were several more, scattered all throughout various boxes along with pictures of her holding me, pretending to be happy when all she wanted to do was drown me. The letters were mostly just her catching up, telling me about her various jobs and activities. Renee was living in Phoenix, Arizona. Not event that far from me. Instead of crying or yelling, I just felt..numb. There were no words to describe how I was even feeling. Numb couldn't begin to cover it. I didn't even know how long I'd been sitting there, time seemed frozen. It could've been minutes, hours, even days and I wouldn't have noticed. My world was upside down.

For my entire life I had thought I killed my mother, that I was the reason my father raised me how he did. But no, this was all on them. I grew up telling people my mommy died and was in heaven. When no, she abandoned me out of selfishness. Yet she had the decency to write me letters to tell me about her new husband and cactus plants. I felt so sick to my stomach.

I was so zoned out I didn't even hear my father's footsteps enter his room. "Bells..what're you.." He stopped mid sentence seeing what I'd found.

Standing up slowly I held the letters in my hand. "She's alive."

"I..I..I can explain." Charlie tried to defend himself.

Interrupting him I raised my voice. "No! You do not get to say shit to me! I've been alive for over twenty years and every one of those you let me think that you hated me because of her death, that it was my fault. But no, this is all on you and her. How could you not notice how depressed she was? Renee literally could've killed me, if you had been two minutes later you would've come home to a dead baby. Then you let her leave and create this lie for me to believe? God, you're such a bad father."

He then raised his voice as well, yelling louder than I'd ever heard. Louder than that time I snuck out to go to a party with Jess and her boyfriend. "I'm a bad father? Are you kidding me?! I was the one who had to take care of you, I didn't have a choice. I couldn't just walk out. You wanted me to tell my three year old that her mother tried to kill her? What did you want me to do!"

"You don't get it Charlie! You didn't have to tell me she was dead for christ's sake, you could've made up something a little simpler. Then given me this letter when I was fourteen, or I don't know. And you raised me with such a bitterness, I didn't even let myself be completely happy until today. I never wanted a husband, or a baby or even to settle down. But now because of the Cullens, they showed me what a really family is, what parents are supposed to do for their children. God, I resent you so much for putting those ideas in my head. I beat myself up so much over it, thinking you'd be disappointed in me. I'm not the one who did that, Renee did. You're wife screwed you and I over and you took it out on me. That's not what a dad does!"

Chuckling in a sarcastic way he quieted down for a moment. "No, this isn't your mother's fault. This is your fault! I love you Bella, I do. But if you'd never been born she wouldn't have gotten sick! She'd still be here if it weren't for you. And don't blame me for your issues. That's on you. You think that man is going to stay? You think you're going to get some happy little family once your daughters born? You need a reality check. Things aren't going to be perfect. Your mother got sick after you, its gonna happen to you. And he's gonna leave you, it's inevitable. Don't be a stupid naive girl."

Wiping the tears from my eyes I stomped from the room. There was nothing left to say. "I'm leaving, I can come get most my things tomorrow when you're at work."

I threw anything in sight into a tiny duffle bag, unable to concentrate through my tears. I had no idea where I was going to go but I knew I needed to get out of there. This was no longer a home to me, every memory here was now tainted with my fathers spoken thoughts. Growing up I had always known he had some unresolved feelings of anger and blame directed towards me but now hearing everything he thought out loud made it a million times worse.

Walking to the kitchen I could barely look my father in the eye. "Bells, I'm sorry. I went out and had a couple of drinks. I didn't mean,"

"You didn't mean what? I don't need your excuses or any apologies. I'm done, like I said I'll get the rest of my things tomorrow."

He blocked me from the door. "Where are you going? At least let me pay for a motel or something."

Pushing him aside I wiped my tears one last time before getting into my car. "Goodbye Charlie."

I found myself driving for a few hours, just around town before I shut off my car. The motion light flickered on when I stepped out, slinging my bag over my shoulder. Composing myself so he wouldn't freak out I tapped on the door lightly, it was almost midnight. Wearing nothing but his boxer's Edward opened the door, one hand on the door the other ruffling his messy bronze mane. "Bella, love. What're you doing here this late?"

"I…my mom..she's alive."