Chapter 6

Lydia leaned away from the bar with an exasperated sigh. Beetlejuice raised his eyebrows expectantly, but she still didn't answer his question.

"Well does he have huge bat wings that he flies around with?" Beetlejuice asked.

"No," Lydia replied.

"What about fangs for sucking blood?"

"No."

"Or a sonic bat call that gives him x-ray vision?"

"Uh, no."

"Does he ride into battle on the back of a giant bat?"

"Definitely not."

"Then why the hell is he called Batman?" Beetlejuice demanded as he returned to his usual appearance. He had transformed with each question to demonstrate his theories to Lydia.

"The bat thing is just his symbol. It makes him seem darker and more broody I think," Lydia responded with slight uncertainty. She took a sip from her glass of whiskey before continuing. "And I guess because he wears a bat costume."

Beetlejuice looked down at her sketchbook dubiously. He rotated the book in his hands and shook his head. "Babes, I've seen better bat costumes and way scarier bats," he commented as he returned to flipping through the pages of her drawings.

Lydia chuckled and turned with her drink to watch the crowd. A steady stream of patrons had been coming and going since they had arrived at the Sweaty Sock. She enjoyed watching the drinking and reveling from her corner of the bar. In a nearby booth, two monsters were arm wrestling. A small group that surrounded them hurriedly placed bets. She wondered absently if you still called it arm wrestling when a tentacle was involved.

The atmosphere in the bar reminded Lydia of a college trip where she had gone on a pub crawl through New Orleans with some friends. Brassy big band music was playing on an old phonograph, and the sickly sweet smell of spilt alcohol hung in the air. There was a crash as someone knocked over a table causing a small fight to break out. She watched Beetlejuice snap his fingers without looking up. The fighting ghouls were no longer in the bar, and the table had righted itself. She wondered if Beetlejuice was the reason that it was easier for her to relax here with monsters than it was for her with people on that college trip.

After a few minutes, Lydia realized that Beetlejuice had ceased his endless questions about the subjects of her sketches. She turned back to him to see what he was up to. The ghost was looking steadily at one of her pictures, his face expressionless. She angled her head and saw that it was a sketch she had done of Beetlejuice a few years ago. Did he not like it she wondered?

"We need another keg of Torment kid," the bartender informed Beetlejuice interrupting the ghosts' reverie.

"Ok gramps," he replied, placing the sketchbook on the bar. "Be right back babes." He disappeared with a small pop.

The bartender squinted down at the sketch of Beetlejuice and gave Lydia a lopsided smirk. "A picture is a lot less trouble than the real thing," he stated with a wink.

Lydia grinned back at him before saying, "I'm Lydia by the way. Sorry about everything that happened yesterday."

The bartender waved off her apology. "Chugs Boozer," he replied and offered her his grizzled hand.

She accepted his handshake, but felt a little nervous when he didn't release her immediately. "I haven't shaken hands with a living person in a millennium," he said with an awkward shrug as he finally released her hand.

The idea of existing for a millennium staggered Lydia. "Really? You don't look a day over three hundred," she teased him.

Chugs burst into laughter, which was a hoarse mixture of cackling and wheezing coughs. Beetlejuice reappeared looking quizzically at the pair.

"Gramps I didn't know you could laugh," Beetlejuice admitted.

"That's because you never say anything funny," he drawled and walked off to serve a ghoul that had approached the bar. Beetlejuice stared after Chugs with his jaw hanging open in a mixture of horror and insult.

"He was just messing with you Beej," Lydia offered. She couldn't help the small giggle that escaped her lips at his affronted look.

"Lydia?" a voice called out from behind her.

Lydia turned and saw Jacques LaLean standing just inside the doorway to the bar. His expression was comically dumbfounded. She noticed that he was no longer wearing the eighties style fitness attire that she had last seen him in. Instead, he was wearing a long-sleeved black turtleneck and simple grey slacks. His hip bones still stuck out slightly above the waist of the slacks. She happily noted that the red beret had not been abandoned and was perched on his skull at a slight angle.

"Jacques!" she cried as she hopped down from her stool and rushed over to the skeleton. He caught her in a bone crushing hug, lifting her up off the ground.

"Mon Dieu! I never thought we'd see you again," he exclaimed. He set her down and looked her over. "Ma chèrie, you are enchanting as always."

"Smooth talker," Lydia accused smiling. "I'm sorry I wasn't able to visit for all this time," she began.

Jacques cut her off, "No apologies. You are here now, oui?"

"No getting rid of me," she smiled.

Jacques looked over her shoulder at Beetlejuice and a mischievous grin lit his face. He leaned down and whispered something in Lydia's ear.

Beetlejuice watched the pair from across the room curiously. What was the skeleton up to he wondered? He watched as Jacques continued to lean down intimately, whispering something to Lydia. She laughed and hugged the skeleton again, causing Beetlejuice to frown in annoyance. Lydia hadn't hugged him once since she had returned to the Neitherworld. Years ago she couldn't seem to stop herself from hugging him over every little thing. He had assumed that their time apart had made her more reserved, but here she was hugging the shit out of Jacques. They started to make their way over to him and he forced himself to let it go.

"Beetlejuice, you're looking very clean today," Jacques said in greeting.

"That's only because you can't see my thoughts," Beetlejuice smirked.

Jacques laughed at his comment and then turned to Lydia. "So what do you think of Beetlejuice's foray into a legitimate business enterprise?" he asked her.

"If you say the words legitimate or commitment one more time I might have to hit you," Beetlejuice choked out.

Both Lydia and Jacques found his statement incredibly amusing and began to laugh. Beetlejuice rolled his eyes and leaned back on his arms as he pointedly ignored the people who were supposed to be his friends.

"Beej I'm actually really curious about this Torment stuff," Lydia said once she had recovered.

"Non, you don't want that stuff Lydia," Jacques told her.

"Will it kill me?" Lydia asked looking at Beetlejuice for an answer.

"I don't think it will kill you, but it's strong enough that the dead can get drunk with it. If I was to pour you a shot glass it would probably be all you could handle for the entire night," Beetlejuice cautioned.

"What's it made from?" she probed.

"Uh, trade secret," he said evasively.

"Hmm, maybe it's better that I don't know," she conceded. "So what are you waiting for? Let's see what this Torment stuff is all about." Beetlejuice hesitated and Jacques looked like he was seriously questioning Lydia's sanity. "I'll take it slow if that's what you two are worried about," she promised.

Lydia's willingness to consume things in the Neitherworld had always impressed Beetlejuice. She had certainly tried more things then was probably wise. "Actually babes, I think it's probably better if you don't drink any," Beetlejuice said, changing his mind. "If I beat you in the poker game we're about to play I don't wanna hear that I cheated by getting you hammered."

"I'll just stick to my whiskey then," she conceded, her ploy already ruined. She had only really wanted to know what the main ingredient was. "Although, I think you're just afraid of losing to a drunk girl."

"Ce n'est pas important, I won't be losing to either of you," Jacques said with a smirk.

Beetlejuice cackled at his friends. He fanned his hands theatrically and a deck of cards appeared. After what happened earlier that week, he decided against making any bets with either of them.


"Beetlejuice just admit that you stole it and give it back!" Jacques demanded.

"Pfft. I'm telling you that I didn't steal it. Obviously you just need to keep better track of yourself," he replied.

"Right, because I would leave the house with half of my hand missing!" Jacques exclaimed, his outrage growing.

"Jacques I can lend you a hand if you need it that bad," Beetljuice offered. He proceeded to pull his left hand off and thrust it in Jacques face.

"C'est des conneries! Beetlejuice just give it back and I won't beat you to death with one of my other parts."

"Woah there, what part were you thinking of exactly Bones?"

"Ta gueule!"

Lydia only partially listened to the argument as the French swears started to go over her head. The liquor she had consumed sat warmly in her stomach and her thoughts were pleasantly muddled. Her eyes wandered carelessly over the crowd and stopped when they landed on an upright goat creature standing near the entrance to the bar. The creature was dressed in a black dress shirt with his hands tucked in the pockets of weathered jeans. His large curled horns were currently cocked at an angle as he stared curiously at her. He suddenly straightened and she found herself unable to look away from his eyes. The irises were a striking silver color with only a black horizontal slit for a pupil.

Lydia …

Did someone call her name she wondered vaguely? Those silver eyes were so captivating and she was finding it hard to look away.

Lydia, why don't you come closer.

She felt herself rising from her seat and started to slowly cross towards the entrance. There was something about those intense eyes. If she just got close enough maybe she would figure out what it was.

Don't you want to get out of this suffocating place?

Lydia realized that it was incredibly stuffy in the bar. The air was thick with tobacco smoke, sweat, and putrid liquor. She needed to get outside so she could clear her head and catch her breath. She reached the goat creature and continued past him when he held the door open for her.

Isn't it just beautiful out tonight.

"It's so beautiful out tonight," Lydia heard herself say. Her voice sounded slightly muffled and distant. She looked down and noticed that the goat creature had taken hold of her hand. About to protest the contact she looked up and found herself distracted by his eyes again.

Don't you want me to take you away from here Lydia?

"Would you mind it if we got out of here?" she found herself asking the goat. A small part of her mind fluttered in protest. She had asked the question, but there was a small pit of dread building in her stomach. Was her anxiety the reason she was asking this creature to take her away? Her thoughts swirled in her head and she couldn't escape her confusion. The goat nodded down at her and began to lead her away from the bar. They turned down the first alley they came to and a sleek black limo was waiting at the opposite end.

This is your ride. You should invite me in.

Lydia reached out and opened the door to the passenger area of the limo. Looking up at the goat she asked, "Would you like to join me?"

The goat gestured for her to enter first. Lydia slid into the backseat and the feeling of anxiety fluttered against her consciousness again. The ring on her finger was itching too and it reminded her of something. She strained, but it was like trying to piece together a half remembered dream.

Dimitri was waiting inside the limo and he smiled when she slipped in without noticing him. He was seated across from Lydia and watched her brow furrowing in confusion. The goat's unique talent appeared to be effective on her.

"Let's make this quick Baph," Dimitri said to the goat once he was inside. The limo started to move and Baph grabbed Lydia's hand. She looked up into his eerie slitted eyes expectantly.

You should give the man across from you the ring.

Lydia immediately moved to comply. The fingers on her right hand barely brushed over the ring when she jumped as if she had been shocked. "No," she said in a harsh whisper. Dimitri frowned at his partner. They shared a look for a moment and Baph made another attempt.

You really want to give him the ring. It's such a burden on you.

Sweat started to breakout on Lydia's forehead as she gasped, "Never." The words rose out of a place deep within her and she was barely aware of uttering them.

Dimitri raised an elegant eyebrow and drummed his fingers on the seat beside him. Minutes passed as he contemplated his next move. "I need her to trust me and keep still," he ordered the goat.

The man across from you is a trusted friend and this car ride is very relaxing. You are so relaxed you don't want to move at all.

Lydia's head eased back against her head rest and the tension in her posture slowly dissipated. Her hands had been clasped tightly together but now lay lightly in her lap. Dimitri leaned across the space between them, slowly gauging her reaction. Even when the limo went over a small bump in the road her body remained languid.

Carefully lifting her hand from her lap, Dimitri made to pull the ring from her finger. His fingers touched the edge of the silver ring and a violent bolt of energy blasted him back. There was a soft thump as his body slammed into the seat he had previously occupied. His breath came out in ragged gasps as he glared at Lydia, who still sat easily with her eyes unfocused. Baph looked uncertainly between the girl and his boss.

After he felt steadier, Dimitri adjusted himself in his seat and straightened his shirt. He tapped on the small divider between them and the drivers cab. "Stop here," he called to the driver.


Inside the bar, Beetlejuice started to feel uncomfortable. There was an odd sensation in his head, similar to an itch, which was becoming increasingly persistent. Eventually the feeling drowned out what Jacques was yelling at him, and he shook his head vigorously to try to clear it. That was when he noticed that Lydia was no longer seated at the bar.

"Where's Lyds?" he asked nervously. Jacques stopped yelling and looked at the unoccupied stool.

"She was here just a moment ago. Maybe she went to the ladies room?" Jacques suggested.

Beetlejuice floated over to the bathroom door and knocked. The sensation in his skull was starting to give him a migraine and no one was responding to the knock. He pushed the door open and confirmed that the ladies room was definitely empty. Floating away from the door, his eyes frantically searched the rest of the bar. When he reached Jacques he said simply, "She's not in the bathroom." There was a pop and he appeared at the bartender's side.

"Did you see Lyds?" he asked hurriedly.

"Yea a few minutes ago she went outside with that goat guy," he answered. Jacques had reached them in time to hear Chug's response.

"Goat guy?" Jacques questioned.

Beetlejuice didn't hear the bartender's reply because he instantly transported himself outside of the bar. His eyes frantically searched the streets for any sign of her. "LYDIA!" he yelled. Several ghouls along the sidewalk turned to look at the desperate ghost, but there was no reply from Lydia.


A/N: A huge thanks to everyone sticking with my story :)