A/N: sorry for the late update, but its a longer chapter again! xD
Also, thanks to everyone who has reviewed, but ff won't let me reply for some reason... I click the reply link and it tells me the page does not exist.. so, sorry for not replying, but I appreciate and cherish every review! They totally make my day, I'm so glad people are enjoying my story!
I think Arthur is a little ooc in this chap, but considering the circumstances, I think its justified... sorry if you disagree...
Anyway, on with the chapter :)
CHAPTER SEVEN
Arthur awoke the following morning with a pounding headache and little memory of the previous day. He groaned when his door creaked opened and he heard his breakfast being placed on the table.
"Merlin bring me some water," he croaked, thanking whatever gods existed that his usually obnoxiously loud servant was for once keeping quiet. He slowly propped himself up on the pillows, head aching fiercely as he awaited his bumbling servant.
The water arrived at his side promptly and he took a cautious sip before turning to his servant.
"You're actually being helpful and quiet this morning Merlin, what's got int—" he choked as he looked up into the eyes of a very nervous looking boy who was very obviously NOT Merlin.
"Forgive me sire I did not mean to startle you, I meant only to bring you water, I only wish to be of service, I'm so sorry, please forgive my actions—" Arthur cut off the poor boy's nervous apology with a wave of his hand as he coughed the water out of his lungs. The young lad looked close to tears as he wrung his hands in worry next to the prince, entirely unsure of what to do.
"Where is Merlin?" The prince asked when he regained his composure. He did not know why, but he felt a twinge of guilt and worry rise through his aching mind.
"M-Merlin, my Lord? U-uh well, yesterday upon returning from your hunt y-you said that the um, the useless idiot was being uh, u-useless and pathetic and that you ah, would need another servant to replace him tomorrow morning?" The young serving boy cautiously recounted the previous day's events as he knew them, anxious not to displease the future king.
At the boys words, Arthur's mind took him back to the events of yesterday. He remembered returning to the castle, riding through the gates with Merlin's horse in tow, minus its rider. He remembered feeling oddly smug and accomplished as he rode up to the stables. He had left the horses to the stable hands and carried the tree with him up to the castle. He had informed his father of an enjoyable hunt and requested the new servant for the morning. Upon returning to his room, he had been overcome with peace and calm, setting the tree back on the window sill and sitting before it, enthralled by its beauty. After that the memory became hazy, he had no idea how long he had sat there, but he remembered falling back as he was slowly drained of all strength and energy.
"What the hell happened..." Arthur mumbled to himself, wonderingly.
XXX
The morning sunlight filtered through the trees and illuminated the face of the sleeping boy. He lay sprawled across the roots at the base of a large tree not too far from the path through the woods. To a passerby he might have been resting, except for the crease between his brows which belied the pain he was suffering.
That pain was the first thing Merlin became aware of as he slowly regained consciousness. It was everywhere, attacking from every angle, there was not a single nerve left untouched. The blinding sun was in his eyes, adding to the splitting pain in his skull, but when he tried to roll into the shade, he found his body was very unwilling to cooperate. Bile rose in his throat with the pain and he forced his aching body onto its side so he could retch dryly into grass already soiled with yesterdays dried sick.
Tears leaked unbidden from his eyes as the heaving slowly abated. He had to get back to Camelot. Arthur would be wanting his breakfast about now. Thinking of the prince sent a pang of betrayal through his already painful chest. The memory of those familiar blue eyes consumed by fiery hatred and directed at him caused a few more tears to escape Merlins eyes before he shook his head to clear it. Laying here was achieving nothing, he had to get up.
Remembering the agony that his previous attempt at movement had caused, he took a deep breath and reached inside himself for his last reserves of strength.
His eyes widened dramatically as he realised something was wrong. Something was missing. The hidden strength he relied upon in desperate situations was not there. Closing his eyes he dug frantically through his soul, searching for the missing piece. Despair welled up within him as he turned up only broken fragments.
The very core of his magic was shattered.
XXX
Gaius was searching through an old tome on magical botany when the prince entered his chambers.
"Something I can do for you sire?" he enquired.
"Yes. Where is Merlin? I know I requested he not come in today, but I've uh—I've changed my mind..." Gaius was surprised as the prince looked very unsure of himself, as though confused about something.
"I'm sorry my lord, but Merlin did not return last night. I assumed you had found a good hunt and stayed out in the forest..." Gaius trailed off as he realised the implications of that. "Sire, where is Merlin?"
A strange emotion crossed the young princes face before being hidden by his self control. If it were anyone but the prince, Gaius would have called it fear. But this was Prince Arthur, so he had to be mistaken...
"I uh—well I suppose he might... he could be at..." Arthur trailed off, before glancing at Gaius with something akin to guilt. Gaius watched in fascination as the prince seemed to deflate before his eyes. "Gaius I don't know what's happening. I don't know where Merlin is, hell I hardly remember coming home from the hunt yesterday. Gaius I—I'm sorry, but I think Merlin might be in trouble." His eyes betrayed the desperation and panic he was trying hard to hide. "I don't know if it is a memory or just a dream, but I keep hearing him scream in my head." Worry and fear broke through his emotional barrier and coloured his words as he spoke.
Gaius arched his eyebrow in concern, he had not seen his ward since their conversation two days ago. Merlin had been asleep when he returned that night, and had left early yesterday to accompany the prince on his hunt. Gaius did not know if his attempt to deal with the tree had succeeded.
"Sire, what do you remember that you know is real? Was Merlin acting strangely yesterday morning before you left? How far into the hunt do you remember?"
Arthur thought back carefully. "Merlin seemed distracted on the hunt... he even fell off his horse... he was ok though and we left the path to follow a trail..." Arthur tried to remember more. "We caught some rabbits and a pheasant and started following the trail of a larger animal, probably a deer when... argh" he growled in frustration. "From there it gets hazy, I think we headed back to the horses... and... and..." His eyes grew wide with horror as a broken fragment of memory returned. "Oh my God" he gasped, "I kicked him. He fell over and—I – I was so angry... I couldn't control it. Oh my God I hurt him."
Gaius pushed him down into a chair quickly as he looked about ready to collapse. Arthur buried his head in his hands as he continued muttering, appalled. Gaius looked grim as he worried for his young ward. The prince was awfully strong. A kick from him could potentially do a lot of damage to the more fragile boy.
"Arthur, do you remember anything else?" At the shake of his head Gaius pressed. "Anything might be helpful, what about before you left Camelot, was there anything suspicious or unusual?" The shell-shocked prince shook his head.
"Merlin complained about packing, he didn't think my tree would fit in the bags, and he said it was too fragile to take with us... that made me angry..." he whispered the last part ashamedly. "Why was I angry with him? He was right, what was I thinking?" Turning to the old physician he practically pleaded, "Gaius, what's happening? What's wrong with me? I keep blanking out, and I can't control my emotions, the day before yesterday I hit him! I've never hit a servant before..." Arthur felt himself falling apart but could do nothing to stop it. His emotions were beyond his control now and worry for his servant dominated his mind.
Abruptly he stood up. "Gaius we have to find him, he must still be out in the forest, he is not anywhere in Camelot, I already looked— but his horse was in the stables." He hurried towards the door and left before Gaius could stop him.
Gaius sighed deeply, knowing it was useless to follow, he would never keep up. Concern for both young men flooded his entire being. The tree had been on the hunt with them? Is that what Arthur had been saying? He turned back to the botanical book and resumed his search, he needed to know more about this tree, before it caused anymore trouble.
XXX
Arthur rode frantically, urging his horse on with his legs. He could not get the vision of Merlin lying broken on the ground out of his head. He swallowed bile as he remembered the feeling of his foot connecting viciously with his servant's side, the echo of a crack replaying through his mind. Did I break his ribs? Arthur was appalled by the thought, Merlin did not deserve that pain, he was a servant, the most injured he should ever be was exhausted and slightly bruised from Arthurs training.
Arthur pushed the negative thoughts aside and forced himself to focus on the path in front of him. He was approaching the spot he had found the trail yesterday...
XXX
After discovering the brutal destruction of his magic, Merlin had retreated into a state of shock. He remembered the feeling of the tree reaching through him, searching for an end to its hunger. At the time, he had felt like his very soul was being destroyed and devoured, and he now realised the truth of that.
Merlin allowed the fight to leave him as he slumped at the base of the tree. The shock and pain overwhelmed his body and he gladly released his hold on consciousness.
It was in such a state that Arthur eventually found him.
Rushing to his servants side Arthur was astounded by the extent of Merlins injuries. The split lip and slight bruise had grown to include a black eye and Merlin's leg rested at an awkward angle, displaying a clearly broken ankle. Arthur noted the puddle of dried sick next to the unconscious boys face and winced. Shit, I didn't just kick him...Arthur realised with a wave of guilt. I must have hit him again, and holy shit I destroyed his ankle... The memory of a loud crack echoed through his mind and he carefully raised Merlin's shirt to assess the damage to his torso. A rainbow of deep blue, angry red, sickly green and painful purple decorated Merlin's side, Arthur hissed in sympathy. Prodding gently, he determined that thankfully nothing was broken, the sickening crack must have been from the ankle, but the bruising was deep and would hurt like a bitch. Not wanting to hurt the boy further, but needing to get him up, Arthur took hold of his shoulder and shook gently.
Merlin groaned as he was brought abruptly back to reality and the sickening pain throughout his body. Blearily opening his eyes he instinctively startled seeing the princes face so close to his own, the sharp movement eliciting another pain filled groan.
Merlin suppressed his instinct to run, escape from the man who hurt him, forcing himself to see that it was not his fault. More importantly, Arthur had come back for him. Noting the look of guilt and shame on his friends face, he tried to smile, crinkling his eyes and twitching his lips, and reassure the prince that he was alright, it was not his fault.
Arthur wasn't sure if he imagined it, but he could have sworn he saw fear flash through his servants eyes when he became aware of his presence. Guilt consumed him and the knowledge that he deserved it did not lessen the hurt as he realised Merlin was afraid of him. Merlin was the one person in all of Camelot with whom Arthur could say, do, or be anything and be completely accepted. At least, Merlin had been.
"A—Arthur?" The prince was snapped out of his thoughts by the raspy voice of the servant he broke. Merlin's eyes seemed to be trying to convey something to him as his mouth twisted in a strange grimace. Arthur leaned closer, trying to discern what Merlin was mumbling at him under his breath.
"...worry..dnn hurt...s'nnn... your fault..."
Arthur felt himself crumble further at the last two words. He had known it was coming, the blame, the hate, but a small and naive part of him had clung to the hope that Merlin might forgive him. His vision blurred as he gazed down at the battered body of his servant. His friend. The only true friend he had ever had... and had broken.
A single tear escaped to roll slowly down his cheek and he whispered a broken apology.
"I'm so sorry."
XXX
A/N: so poor Arthur didn't get Merlin's message :( and Merlin has lost his magic! Not to fear, more shall be revealed next chapter xD
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