Just to warn you guys this is a little emotional, but hey, they all miss Jack. Who doesn't?

Love, Life and Goodbyes. At some point they all suck.

Three days later, Angel, Bobby and Lydia walked into Tony's bar.

"It's six. The bar doesn't open for two hours. Go away."

"That's the kind of welcome I get after getting leg cramp, just so I'm here on time?"

Tony looked up from the bar he was wiping down to see Lydia, glowing and flanked by two guys. One was black, the other white, both canvassing the place. Tony saw them checking exits, the Caucasian nudged the other one and nodded towards the restrooms. That one nodded understanding – quick exit, worse comes to the worse.

"Tony, these are two of Jack's brothers, Bobby and Angel. Angel" – the black on looked around – "and Bobby" – the other one looked up from the pool table – "this is my boss, Tony." Lydia couldn't hide the affection that was in her voice, for any of the guys.

The three men nodded at each other, but none moved. Lydia rolled her eyes at the blatant 'men being men' mentality and crossed to the bar to be enfolded in a bear hug.

"I missed you, kid. Seems no one can pour a pint with you gone."

"I always told you it was me that kept them in check."

"It was also you that let Jack burn down the place."

"Jees, one small fire and you hold it against me."

Bobby watched over the tit-for-tat banter, so familiar after the years with his brothers. These two were close, but Bobby wanted to know how close, exactly.

"So, you been taking care of her?"

"Since she was eighteen."

"So, where were you when she was getting knocked up by a broke musician?"

"I don't know, where were you when your broke musician brother was knocking her up?"

"Down boys, you've proved you've both got cocks, now let's put them away and play nice, shall we?"

"See Detroit hasn't got rid of your smart mouth, girlie."

Lydia smiled. She appreciated the protection from both guys, but really, it wasn't like her and Jack were helpless – they had managed just fine.

"So, what's going on? I don't suppose these two came back to work for me."

Bobby snorted, looking round the place. "You couldn't afford me."

"I wanted a bartender, not a stripper, princess."

Bobby took a step forward, Angel right behind him. Tony straightened up behind the bar; Lydia could see him reaching for the baseball bat he kept there.

"Oh, for fuck's sake, guys. Give a rest. I'm too tired for this." With that Lydia sat on the barstool that separated the three guys and rested her head on her hand – she really did not want these three to fight.

They were on her in a second. Bobby was asking if she was alright, standing next to her in case she needed steadying. Angel was just looking at her, taking in the drawn, tired face. Tony got her glass of water, setting it in front of her, with, "I'm sorry kid, I just got to make sure they're looking after you."

"'Course we are. That's why we're here, to get her stuff so we can take her back to Detroit, to look after her."

Tony looked like someone had dropped a brick on his head. "You leaving for DETROIT?"

Bobby bristled at the implied remark – "yeah, because Boston's so much better."

"At least she's got me in Boston."

"And she's got us in Detroit. We outnumbered you – a lot."

"You don't know her like I do."

"I know Jack and these are his kids. I got more of a connection with them than you do."

"You two aren't his real brothers. Gangs aren't family."

That did it. For both of the Mercers. "That's was you think, you motherfucker? That we were in a gang with Jack. What, because we don't have the same colour skin, we're not family? That's BULLSHIT!"

"Ang, calm down. That's not what Tony meant. Tony Jack was adopted by Evelyn Mercer, so were his three brothers."

"Three? You mean there are three more like Jack?"

"You kidding me? Jack was the lightweight." Bobby smirked at the big bad bartender that was suddenly white. The Mercers often had this effect on people.

"Bobby, enough. All three of you, come with me, okay? I want to get this done quickly and I want a cup of tea too."

"Doctor said you shouldn't have caffeine."

"I know, Angel."

"Shouldn't have sugar, either."

"Thanks, Angel."

"Maybe you should just have water."

"Angel! I got it!"

"I was just saying. Ow!" Bobby had smacked Angel on the back of the head. "What you hitting me for?"

"What you being mother hen for? You're driving me nuts!"

*****

The guys hauled up boxes from the car while Lydia unlocked the apartment. It was so strange to be back here, in this tiny, silent place. She had gone to the Mercers less than a week ago and already it felt like home. She missed the sounds of other people as they moved around the house, the security that they were there. She missed how much like family they felt to her. Camille had taken Lydia under her wing from the moment they meant, but Lydia had also become close to Sofia. The woman was loco, no doubt about it, but she was bubbly and funny too – at least when she wasn't sulking because of Bobby.

Lydia walked through to her bedroom – Bobby and Angel could handle the kitchen and living room, Tony was packing up the bathroom, but she needed to sort this space out herself. There was so much of Jack here. His book lay on the bedside table, Nikki Sixx's The Heroin Dairies, half read with a guitar pick marking his spot. Clothes were washed and folded in the closet. Sheet music lay in small piles with crumpled pieces of notepaper covering with crossings out. Jack was always so private about his music, said he couldn't write around other people. She had just accepted it; it wasn't like she was laying herself bare either. Lydia gathered the papers together, unsure of whether she wanted to throw them out, or if she could keep them. Tony had called her the first night she was at the Mercers' – it was 3 in the morning, but she didn't mind, knowing it would have been his first opportunity since she left. She had told Tony about Jack's death, who had in turn told the band. Jack was the chief songwriter and lead vocalist/guitarist. Without him, the band didn't know what they were going to do, there was talk of them disbanding – Jack was the one who brought them together and it seemed they didn't get on so great without him around.

Lydia picked up the Heroin Diaries, shoved the loose pages inside and tucked it into her purse. She could go through them later.

It didn't take long – her stuff in one box, Jack's stuff in another. It would also feel like they were moving in to a new place together, except everything she put in the box wouldn't be brought out again. There was no point – Jack was dead, it's not like he needed this stuff anymore. She was only keeping because she couldn't keep him.

"FUCK!" Lydia picked up the box and hurled it across the room. It hit the wall, rebounded and fell on the floor. Clothes lay strewn around. The door opened and Bobby, Angel and Tony all bundled into the room. They took one look at the box on one side of the room and Lydia, silent tears streaking down her face, on the other. Tony crossed to her and wrapped his arms around her.

Lydia sobbed into the man's huge chest, grief racking her body all over again. "It's not fucking fair!"

"I know it's not."

"I want him back." Lydia drew in a deep, shuddering breath before admitting, for the first time out loud, "I don't want to do this alone, I love him."

Bobby had started across the room when he saw Lydia's tears but stopped and stuck his hands in his pockets when Tony got there first. Angel was on his knees, refolding clothes and putting them back in the box.

"We know you love him Lydia. We do too. Just because he's dead it doesn't change the fact that he's my baby brother and I love him. It doesn't change the fact that he was your boyfriend, or that he's the father of your children. Just because someone's dead, it doesn't mean you have to stop loving them. You don't stop and that's why it hurts so bad." Bobby's quiet voice reached Lydia over the sound of her own crying. She lifted her head up from Tony's chest. The eldest Mercer was looking impossibly small. Pain was etched into every line on his face and he stood like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders. Lydia had never really appreciated Jack's relationship with Bobby before. Bobby was Jack's brother, her kids' uncle, but there was so much more to the relationship than that. Jack had hero worshipped Bobby. After a childhood Lydia knew nothing about and probably didn't want to, Bobby had been prepared to lay down his life for the family he had found. The family Evelyn Mercer had created from four boys who would either be in the ground or Death Row by now without her.

"I'm sorry, Bobby. I never … I should have … I never knew how you were with Jack so I never realised how much he meant to you. I still have thanked you for everything you're doing for me."

"Bobby shrugged and cleared his throat, a little uncomfortable with the emotion now directed at him. "Don't worry about it. You've had a lot to deal with."

"And I've dealt with it because of you. You and the rest of your family. Thank you." Lydia pulled herself out of Tony's embrace and went over to Bobby. She wrapped her arms around the eldest Mercer and hugged him. Bobby stood there, stock still for a moment, completely unsure of himself. Lydia realised how uncomfortable she must be making him and went to let go. But the moment her arms loosen enough for him to use his, Bobby put his arms around her and hugged her back.

This was the first time Lydia was really aware of Bobby as a man. And he was pretty muscular. Unsure if she would be able to breathe in a minute she still tightened her arms around him again. They stood there for a moment, Tony looking at the window, Angel looking at the box. Then the eternal moment was finally over and people began to breathe again – Lydia included. Bobby picked up the box of Jack's stuff and said he was taking it down to the car. Tony was right behind, picking up a couple of boxes from the living room as he past.

Angel stood there for a moment getting his bearings. He didn't know who he was more surprised at – the Michigan Mauler, who had had a frankly quite touching moment with a woman that he had no intend of sleeping with, or the woman who had actually hugged the Michigan Mauler. Without permission. While he was frowning. He had seen grown men run from Bobby when confronted with a lot less than frustrated grief.

"I'll just grab some stuff and …" Angel wasn't sure what he would do. The Hulk's less green brother had grabbed both the boxes from the living room.

"Angel, thank you too. I know this can't be easy for you either. From what Jack said, it seemed you were pretty protective of him growing up."

"Yeah well, he was my only younger brother. I was the one who was still there after Bobby left and Jerry got married. It was just him, me and mom for a while. Then I joined the Marines and Jackie left to become the next Steven Tyler."

Lydia laughed, "you know, I remember him saying the exact same thing. You guys really are brothers." Lydia walked over to Angel and stood in front of him for a second. "I always wanted an older brother growing up. Someone to look out for me, someone to look up to. I was so jealous when I found out Jack had three."

"You got us now."

"Yeah, I do." Lydia hugged Angel too. Unlike Bobby, she didn't put her arms around Angel's neck, but around his waist. Angel folded his arms around her shoulders and kissed the top of her head. "We're here, Dee. We won't let you down." Lydia just nodded into Angel's shoulder, not trusting herself to speak.

Not like we let Jack down, Angel thought. They had really dropped the ball that day – so busy yelling at Jerry that he never even realised that Jack wasn't in the room until Bobby had yelled his name.

*****

"I'll be seeing you, Tony." Lydia was stood at the doorway to her apartment building. Bobby and Angel were in the car, thank god, she didn't need witnesses to this.

"Wish you were staying, kid. Place won't be the same without you."

"If it means anything, it won't be the same for me either. Never thought I'd be doing this without. You've been around for so long I kinda figured that even if I didn't have Jack, I'd still have family."

Tony was half embarrassed, half proud of the lump in his throat. He'd been taking care of Lydia so long that he couldn't imagine life without her. His parents hadn't been up to much, the only child of a heroin addicted hooker and an unknown father (the only thing his mom knew for sure was that he had been a soldier), family had never meant a lot to Tony. Then this kid turned up on his doorstep and he had never turned his back on her. Now she was turning her back on him – no, he corrected himself, she was making a better life for herself and her kids – something his mom had never bothered to do.

"I'm real proud of you, Dee. You're gonna be one hell of a mom."

"You think so?"

"I know so."

A weight felt like it had been lifted from Lydia's shoulders. Tony thought she could do this. And he hadn't been wrong about her yet.

"Love ya, Dee."

"Love ya, Tee."

Tony laughed – she hadn't called him that in a while. "Go on, get going. Those babies are gonna get cold in there in this weather.

Lydia wrapped her arms around him – she was being very huggy to day, she hoped this wasn't how life was going to be like from now on. Tony kissed on the forehead and she choked back tears.

Tony watched the cars drive away. Lydia had got in the same car as that Bobby guy – Tony tried not to worry. He couldn't believe she was really gone. His little girl, his Dee. Tears made his eyes wet but they didn't fall, Tony hadn't cried since he was a kid. He was really going to miss her. For some reason, he felt like he was never going to see her again.

At the corner, Lydia leant her entire upper body out of the window and waved until she never fell out of the car. Tony could just make out a hand grabbing her to pull her back in as he raised one hand in goodbye. At least Bobby had good reflexes.

"Goodbye, kid." Tony spoke to the headlights, watching them until they turned a corner and finally disappeared.

Ok, I know it weird when there's suddenly two new chapters up at once (I spoil you guys!) but it's because I keep on just writing and adding in the chapter breaks later, so… oh, well.

Reviews, please.