Part seven!! Yay!! It's the night after the dance and I feel really
crushed and horrible so I'm going to write this chapter to cheer me up, as
Ethriel seems to put a smile on my face and I'm just too tempted to get the
Pinky Bar out of the fridge and eat it. Anyway my friend Melanie read this
and asked me to mention more about strawberry bath suds. Mainly because
she's nuts, and it's a personal joke between my friends and myself. But
anyway, without further ado, here it is! Disclaimer: Again, I wish I
owned Legolas but I don't, and that goes for all LOTR characters, but
Ethriel and Mirawyn are ALL MINE! Bwahahaha.
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1 Unnecessary Sappiness
Ethriel and Legolas had been conveniently avoiding each other since Aragorn's um... announcement, for purposes of the plot and because they both needed time to sort out further issues like the fact that Ethriel, despite seeing Legolas half naked, still didn't like him. Well in THAT WAY anyway. Ethriel was still in a bad mood, despite using a good two tonnes of strawberry bath suds in her baths that week, after making sure Elrond put guards at the door to stop intruders (i.e. Legolas) coming in and interrupting. Elrond of course wasn't happy with his granddaughter using his strawberry bath suds, as he now had very little strawberry bath suds. Ethriel was so hurt she didn't realise, and Elrond conveniently decided this wasn't like his granddaughter at all, well, at the age she was at now anyway. So Elrond decided to say something to his granddaughter. He went in search of her to find her sitting in a tree.
"Ethriel!" He called. Ethriel turned.
"Oh hey Pop," Ethriel replied, manufacturing a smile.
"Can you come down from there?" Elrond asked as he had "borrowed" Arwen's old purple dress for the day for reasons the author is not going to mention except for that his robes were dirty and he already smelt enough already without his strawberry bath suds and found it very hard to climb trees. To his relief, Ethriel swung down from the tree gracefully until of course she tripped over the roots at the base of it falling on her face. She did her trademark swearing in all Middle Earth languages. Elrond looked at her in surprise. Since when did she learn so many bad words in so many languages?! Ethriel saw her grandfather's shock and closed her mouth very, very quickly.
"I didn't say anything," Ethriel babbled. "Not a thing. Not a word. You didn't hear it."
Elrond straightened. "I have collective hearing. It comes with age."
"Why are you here anyway?" Ethriel asked, quickly changing the subject while the author suddenly decides that Elrond should be in on the act of the marriage saga.
"You seem troubled," Elrond said gently. Ethriel shuddered at Elrond's freakish voice.
"Um... I'm fine," Ethriel lied. "I'm fine. Really, really fine."
"Then why have my strawberry bath suds disappeared?" Elrond wanted to know suspiciously. "I wasn't born yesterday."
"Duh," Ethriel replied. "I know THAT. You were born like 4000 years ago why the HELL would I think you were born yesterday?" Ethriel stood with a sneer on her face until the author told her it was a phrase and that she was supposed to be acting guiltily. "Uh... well I'm fine."
"Are you sure?" Elrond inquired leaning closer toward her. Ethriel could smell his rather nasty bodily odour. She couldn't stand it any more and broke down into a flood of tears.
"I'm not fine!" she sobbed. "Mum and Dad are agreeing to make me marry Legolas!"
"What that Mirkwood prince guy?" Elrond asked. "Well he is rather hot if I don't say so my-" He coughed on seeing Ethriel's shocked stare. "Ahem. Well. I mean, he's suitable marriage material. What is your problem with him?"
"He's a prick," Ethriel remarked bluntly.
"Um..." Said Elrond, at a loss for words for once. He suddenly thought of something. "Anything else?"
"He caught me in the bath," She added. "It was awful."
"He WHAT?!?!" Elrond spluttered. "Well that's decided. You'll have to marry him now you've seen him naked.
"But-"
"No buts Ethriel! You're marrying him and that's final!" Ethriel began to cry again. "I'm sorry Ethriel, it's just inappropriate if you don't."
"You're so much help Grandfather!" She sobbed melodramatically and walked away.
"My granddaughter... still a drama queen," Elrond muttered. Ethriel turned.
"I heard that!" she called back.
Ethriel went to the archery field, which as far away from possible from Elrond, taking with her a quiver filled with arrows and a bow, to shoot anyone who crossed her path. She shot targets to release her stress imagining they were the following things:
1. Legolas
2. Her father's head.
3. And Frodo's freaky blue eyes, for the irony of it all
Which, of course, for purposes of the plot, made her feel much, much better. Meanwhile, our favourite elf Prince, Legolas, was prancing through the trees with that cool Elvish step that the author isn't going to relate a whole lot of really bad similes with, no matter how much she wants to. And for purposes of the plot he stopped on the tree above where Ethriel was shooting arrows. He jumped down from the tree unheard and unnoticed (well for all of about two minutes) to admire the view in front of him, which was, for purposes of the plot, Ethriel. Suddenly a whole lot of really bad similes also ran through his head like how her hair shone like sunshine or how her skin was like virgin snow blah blah blah etc etc etc. A twig cracked between his feet and the curses that ran through his head were much worse than the similes. Ethriel turned very quickly and her quick reaction time caused her to shoot right at Legolas.... and for purposes of the plot, he dodged it.
"Oh my god!" she squealed. "I'm sorry!" Realising it was Legolas she added: "Oh it's you, well that's ok then."
"Well..." Legolas began, not sure of what to say. "You grazed my leg!" He looked at her for sympathy hoping she wouldn't know that elves don't get hurt.
"Elves don't get hurt," She said like she had read his mind.
Damn! Thought Legolas, disappointed he hadn't got a sympathy vote. Conveniently Ethriel looked up into Legolas' gorgeous face, surprised to find she found it gorgeous instead of something resembling the every day orc. Not that Legolas could ever resemble an orc of course to the author, to her, he's just way too hot. Unfortunately, Ethriel doesn't quite see it this way. Yet. About thirty seconds later she was having similar thoughts to the author, again in REALLY bad simile form like his hair was the colour of gold and his eyes sparkling like sapphires etc etc etc blah blah blah. The forest was shrouded in silence, for a good 10 minutes as Legolas and Ethriel stared at each other while the really bad similes turned to something to unpleasant to mention. Or not. And because the author is getting really bored of unnecessary silence, and this chapter isn't called unnecessary silence it's called unnecessary sappiness, well... here's the sappy part. Please, get a bowl. You just might want to vomit.
"You're really good at archery," Legolas said, starting the compliment ball rolling for purposes of the plot as we all know, compliments between people of the opposite sex who are secretly attracted to each other turns to utter, sickening sap.
Ethriel grinned. "Really?"
"Really." Legolas replied.
"Well..." Ethriel began, pulling 'I'm so modest' trick. "It's just a skill. Boredom in Rivendell drove me to it. I'm not as good as you from what Dad tells me."
"Well archery was useful for killing orcs on the trip to Mount Doom," Legolas admitted not pulling the 'I'm so modest' trick. And, for purposes of the plot, Ethriel's bow just "happened" to fall from her hands on to the ground. She bent to pick it up and so did Legolas only to hear a ripping sound which was the sound of... a branch (and you rabid fan girls thought it was Legolas's pants. Have shame on yourselves!!), from a tree which fell on Ethriel's head. And being mostly mortal, she was knocked unconscious, conveniently falling into Legolas's arms dramatically.
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Sorry guys, that was a really dumb chapter. I'm going to regret posting this. Please don't flame me, I'm just not inspired right now. *sigh* I have a confession to make, yes I am obsessed with Legolas. Well have fun, I'm off. The next chapter's on it's way, I just have to find something to write about!! Oh well. Ideas are greatly appreciated. Oh oh!! Before I leave, my friend's writing a LOTR fanfic, if you want to read it, I'll post her screen name and the name of the story, because she's got a wicked sense of humour and I'm sure her story will be REALLY hilarious, probably even more hilarious than mine, even though that wouldn't be hard. Anyway, loads of homework, so little time. Toodles!
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1 Unnecessary Sappiness
Ethriel and Legolas had been conveniently avoiding each other since Aragorn's um... announcement, for purposes of the plot and because they both needed time to sort out further issues like the fact that Ethriel, despite seeing Legolas half naked, still didn't like him. Well in THAT WAY anyway. Ethriel was still in a bad mood, despite using a good two tonnes of strawberry bath suds in her baths that week, after making sure Elrond put guards at the door to stop intruders (i.e. Legolas) coming in and interrupting. Elrond of course wasn't happy with his granddaughter using his strawberry bath suds, as he now had very little strawberry bath suds. Ethriel was so hurt she didn't realise, and Elrond conveniently decided this wasn't like his granddaughter at all, well, at the age she was at now anyway. So Elrond decided to say something to his granddaughter. He went in search of her to find her sitting in a tree.
"Ethriel!" He called. Ethriel turned.
"Oh hey Pop," Ethriel replied, manufacturing a smile.
"Can you come down from there?" Elrond asked as he had "borrowed" Arwen's old purple dress for the day for reasons the author is not going to mention except for that his robes were dirty and he already smelt enough already without his strawberry bath suds and found it very hard to climb trees. To his relief, Ethriel swung down from the tree gracefully until of course she tripped over the roots at the base of it falling on her face. She did her trademark swearing in all Middle Earth languages. Elrond looked at her in surprise. Since when did she learn so many bad words in so many languages?! Ethriel saw her grandfather's shock and closed her mouth very, very quickly.
"I didn't say anything," Ethriel babbled. "Not a thing. Not a word. You didn't hear it."
Elrond straightened. "I have collective hearing. It comes with age."
"Why are you here anyway?" Ethriel asked, quickly changing the subject while the author suddenly decides that Elrond should be in on the act of the marriage saga.
"You seem troubled," Elrond said gently. Ethriel shuddered at Elrond's freakish voice.
"Um... I'm fine," Ethriel lied. "I'm fine. Really, really fine."
"Then why have my strawberry bath suds disappeared?" Elrond wanted to know suspiciously. "I wasn't born yesterday."
"Duh," Ethriel replied. "I know THAT. You were born like 4000 years ago why the HELL would I think you were born yesterday?" Ethriel stood with a sneer on her face until the author told her it was a phrase and that she was supposed to be acting guiltily. "Uh... well I'm fine."
"Are you sure?" Elrond inquired leaning closer toward her. Ethriel could smell his rather nasty bodily odour. She couldn't stand it any more and broke down into a flood of tears.
"I'm not fine!" she sobbed. "Mum and Dad are agreeing to make me marry Legolas!"
"What that Mirkwood prince guy?" Elrond asked. "Well he is rather hot if I don't say so my-" He coughed on seeing Ethriel's shocked stare. "Ahem. Well. I mean, he's suitable marriage material. What is your problem with him?"
"He's a prick," Ethriel remarked bluntly.
"Um..." Said Elrond, at a loss for words for once. He suddenly thought of something. "Anything else?"
"He caught me in the bath," She added. "It was awful."
"He WHAT?!?!" Elrond spluttered. "Well that's decided. You'll have to marry him now you've seen him naked.
"But-"
"No buts Ethriel! You're marrying him and that's final!" Ethriel began to cry again. "I'm sorry Ethriel, it's just inappropriate if you don't."
"You're so much help Grandfather!" She sobbed melodramatically and walked away.
"My granddaughter... still a drama queen," Elrond muttered. Ethriel turned.
"I heard that!" she called back.
Ethriel went to the archery field, which as far away from possible from Elrond, taking with her a quiver filled with arrows and a bow, to shoot anyone who crossed her path. She shot targets to release her stress imagining they were the following things:
1. Legolas
2. Her father's head.
3. And Frodo's freaky blue eyes, for the irony of it all
Which, of course, for purposes of the plot, made her feel much, much better. Meanwhile, our favourite elf Prince, Legolas, was prancing through the trees with that cool Elvish step that the author isn't going to relate a whole lot of really bad similes with, no matter how much she wants to. And for purposes of the plot he stopped on the tree above where Ethriel was shooting arrows. He jumped down from the tree unheard and unnoticed (well for all of about two minutes) to admire the view in front of him, which was, for purposes of the plot, Ethriel. Suddenly a whole lot of really bad similes also ran through his head like how her hair shone like sunshine or how her skin was like virgin snow blah blah blah etc etc etc. A twig cracked between his feet and the curses that ran through his head were much worse than the similes. Ethriel turned very quickly and her quick reaction time caused her to shoot right at Legolas.... and for purposes of the plot, he dodged it.
"Oh my god!" she squealed. "I'm sorry!" Realising it was Legolas she added: "Oh it's you, well that's ok then."
"Well..." Legolas began, not sure of what to say. "You grazed my leg!" He looked at her for sympathy hoping she wouldn't know that elves don't get hurt.
"Elves don't get hurt," She said like she had read his mind.
Damn! Thought Legolas, disappointed he hadn't got a sympathy vote. Conveniently Ethriel looked up into Legolas' gorgeous face, surprised to find she found it gorgeous instead of something resembling the every day orc. Not that Legolas could ever resemble an orc of course to the author, to her, he's just way too hot. Unfortunately, Ethriel doesn't quite see it this way. Yet. About thirty seconds later she was having similar thoughts to the author, again in REALLY bad simile form like his hair was the colour of gold and his eyes sparkling like sapphires etc etc etc blah blah blah. The forest was shrouded in silence, for a good 10 minutes as Legolas and Ethriel stared at each other while the really bad similes turned to something to unpleasant to mention. Or not. And because the author is getting really bored of unnecessary silence, and this chapter isn't called unnecessary silence it's called unnecessary sappiness, well... here's the sappy part. Please, get a bowl. You just might want to vomit.
"You're really good at archery," Legolas said, starting the compliment ball rolling for purposes of the plot as we all know, compliments between people of the opposite sex who are secretly attracted to each other turns to utter, sickening sap.
Ethriel grinned. "Really?"
"Really." Legolas replied.
"Well..." Ethriel began, pulling 'I'm so modest' trick. "It's just a skill. Boredom in Rivendell drove me to it. I'm not as good as you from what Dad tells me."
"Well archery was useful for killing orcs on the trip to Mount Doom," Legolas admitted not pulling the 'I'm so modest' trick. And, for purposes of the plot, Ethriel's bow just "happened" to fall from her hands on to the ground. She bent to pick it up and so did Legolas only to hear a ripping sound which was the sound of... a branch (and you rabid fan girls thought it was Legolas's pants. Have shame on yourselves!!), from a tree which fell on Ethriel's head. And being mostly mortal, she was knocked unconscious, conveniently falling into Legolas's arms dramatically.
**************************************************************************** ************
Sorry guys, that was a really dumb chapter. I'm going to regret posting this. Please don't flame me, I'm just not inspired right now. *sigh* I have a confession to make, yes I am obsessed with Legolas. Well have fun, I'm off. The next chapter's on it's way, I just have to find something to write about!! Oh well. Ideas are greatly appreciated. Oh oh!! Before I leave, my friend's writing a LOTR fanfic, if you want to read it, I'll post her screen name and the name of the story, because she's got a wicked sense of humour and I'm sure her story will be REALLY hilarious, probably even more hilarious than mine, even though that wouldn't be hard. Anyway, loads of homework, so little time. Toodles!
