A/N: Okay so all was not willing, but here it is! Cordelia has not ascended into a higher plane, she is just normal straight forward Cordelia. Why she is here will be revealed soon. Please, please review. Told from Hermione third person.


Chapter: Surprises...or not

Hermione stared at the new arrivals. The man had a British accent and wore glasses. The Scoobies looked happy to see him. As for the brunette they seemed...surprised. At least that was the nicest way of putting it.

"Cordelia, why are you here?" Buffy asked.

"Well Buffy, Angel was curious about these wizards. And he couldn't come himself and of course he couldn't send anyone else. He had to send me. For some insane reason he thought I would like to see you all again. As if. But I was kind of curious too and even though I never really liked you, I need someone to shop with. And the guys don't like too and Fred isn't a huge shopper. But you do like to shop. So Angel called Giles and Giles was coming anyway and then he came and picked me up. And the we drove here to see you. Angel and Giles thought it would be a surprise even though I told them you hate surprises," Cordelia said.

"Giles?" Buffy said.

"Cordelia is more or less right. That is how it happened," Giles answered.

"So these guys must be the wizards. Oh dear. Are all British people fashion challenged? Cause I thought it was just Giles and Wesley, but I guess I was wrong." Turning to Hermione, Cordelia said, "I have to take you shopping. You seriously need some new clothes. What's your name?"
"Hermione," Hermione replied. She felt shocked, but strangely happy. Harry and Ron were staring at her, open mouthed.

"Cool. So Buffy tomorrow? Shopping? But we are driving, not taking the bus," Cordelia said.

"Well Cordy we were planning on training..." Buffy hinted.

"Pffft. You need to have some fun? And when the hell did you become she-Giles, all responsible and wound so tight? No offence," Cordelia said, the last bit directed at Giles.

"None taken," he said, smiling a sarcastic smile.

"Okay fine," Buffy said. Hermione noticed her expression looked resigned, but her eyes were shining.

"Great so we can take you, the new girl, Willow, Faith, Anya, and who are you two?" Cordelia asked staring at Tara and Dawn.

"Cordelia remember this is Dawn. Buffy's little sister. And the other one is Tara, my girlfriend," Willow said.

Cordelia's face went blank, but then she smiled. "I remember now. Dawn, Buffy's bratty little sister who almost got killed all those times. Hi, I'm Cordelia," she said to Tara. "You are a lot different then Oz." Tara flashed her a nervous smile.

"Great," Willow said, breaking the awkward silence. "Buffy, Hermione, and Dawn can go in Cordelia's car, and Anya, Tara, Faith, and I can take Xander's car."

"Um I really don't want to go shopping," Faith said, at the same time as Xander yelled, "Why do you have to take my car?"

"Well Faith, you need to have some clothes that don't just scream "I'm a humongous slut who wears tight leather pants and doesn't give a shit about anything"," Cordelia said.

"As for taking your car Xander, it's your day off work tomorrow, so you won't be needing it," Willow said breaking yet another awkward silence.

"Fine," Faith and Xander said.

"Hang on," Ron said. "What are we going to do?"

"You can hang out with Sirius, Xander, and Giles," Buffy replied.

"Okay," Ron said and he started whispering to Harry. Hermione sighed. They were her best friends, but they were both closer to each other than her.

"Now that we know what we are going to do tomorrow, what are we going to do about patrolling?" Sirius asked.

"Well I don't feel comfortable letting Harry, Ron, or Hermione come with us yet, and I don't want Dawn to come either," Buffy said. "You and Faith are coming right?" Sirius nodded. "Okay Will and Xander do you want to come? And Anya and Tara too?" They all nodded. "Oh and Giles could you come? I want you to see if I need more training."

"Of course, Buffy," Giles replied.

Buffy turned to Cordelia. "Do you want to go?"

"No way," Cordelia replied. "I am so sick of patrolling and killing things. This is supposed to be my vacation."

"Fine Cordelia. You can babysit," Buffy said.

"What? Uh uh. My hotel room will not fit all of these people and I need my space," Cordelia answered.

"Also Buffy. Harry might need, um, better protection than that," Giles said.

"Okay. You can go stay with Spike," Buffy said.

"What?!" Harry said.

"Harry, calm down," Hermione said, putting a hand on his shoulder.

"Spike is not dangerous," Willow said. "He'll just make you watch Passions. And tell you stories of his glory days."

"Passions?" Ron asked.

"His favorite soap opera," Willow replied.

"Harry, mate, listen to them. Spike isn't going to hurt any of us," Ron reassured.

Harry sighed. "Fine, we can go and be babysat by the vampire," he said.

"Dawn you're going too. And you Cordelia," Buffy said.

"Why?" Cordelia inquired.

"Cause Angel will be upset if you get injured," Buffy replied. "Let's go,"

Harry, Hermione, and Ron walked over to Sirius. "Spike isn't that bad," Sirius said. "You'll be fine."

Harry stared at him. "Be careful," he whispered.

"Always am," Sirius said, grinning. "Now get a move on."

They walked out the door, following Buffy, Cordelia, and Dawn. "Hey, Dawn," Hermione whispered.

"Yeah?" Dawn replied.

"Can you distract Harry for a minute? I need to talk to Ron," Hermione said.

"Sure," Dawn smiled, and she began talking to Harry.

Hermione fell back till she was walking next to Ron. "Ron, I have an idea," she said.

"What is it?" he asked.

"Tomorrow since you are hanging out with guys, could you distract the other two, so Harry can have some time with Sirius?" she replied.

"Why?" Ron questioned.

Hermione gave him the look. "Ron you know how much Harry was looking forward to this trip. And because of this whole supernatural deal, Harry hasn't had any time with Sirius. And they really need to have time to be together," Hermione answered.

"I guess you're right. I'll do it," Ron said.

"Great," Hermione smiled.

"So you looking forward to shopping tomorrow?" Ron said, grinning.

"Shut up," Hermione replied. He laughed.

Soon they reached a crypt and Buffy threw open the door. The blond vampire who had been lying on the couch leapt up.

"Bloody Hell, Slayer! What'd you do that for?" Spike yelled.

"Cordelia has arrived. The rest of the Scoobies are patrolling and Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Dawn need a babysitter. You are the only person available," Buffy replied.

"I am EVIL, remember? Big Bad? Who's to say I won't kill and drink the blood of Nibblet, Princess, and the Wizards?" Spike asked glaring at her.

"Well one because you like Dawn and care about her. Two you wouldn't kill Cordelia cause I'm betting she would taste bad, three you won't kill my guests. And four? You can't. I'll pick them up when we're done. Bye-bye!" And with that Buffy walked out of the crypt.

"Bitch," Spike muttered. Turning to Cordelia he said, "How's the poof?"
"The what?" Cordelia and Dawn asked, as Hermione, Ron, and Harry burst out laughing.

Spike grinned. "Nice to see someone who gets what I'm saying. Now let's see what shall I call you?" Spike said, the last bit to himself.

"What does he mean?" Harry asked Dawn.

"Spike doesn't use regular names. He uses nicknames. I'm Nibblet, Buffy's Slayer, Willow's Red, Xander's Prat, Anya's Demon-girl, Tara's Glinda, Sirius's Dog-Man, and Faith...well Faith is just Faith. Apparently Cordelia is Princess and you guys are the Wizards. But he's going to need a better name for you than that," Dawn explained.

"Thanks Nibblet. Okay so the taller boy is Ginger, the other one is Scar-head. But what am I going to call you?" Spike asked Hermione.

Before Hermione could reply, Ron yelled out, "You can call her Hermy!"

Hermione turned and glared at him, but Spike laughed. "Hermy? That'll have to do for now," he said.

"Spike you really need to decorate the place. Or at least clean out the bones and the dust," Cordelia called out. It seemed that she had been wondering around the crypt, while the rest of them had been talking.

Spike rolled his eyes. "Look, Princess, I really don't have time," he said.

"Of course you do. Now tomorrow I'm shopping and the day after that I'm sure that something will come up, but Thursday should work. That's sorted," Cordelia replied.

"Great idea, Princess. Except for one humongous giant flaw. I can't go out in the sunlight. And there is no way in hell that you are going to shop for my crypt by yourself.

Cordelia stared at him, her face halfway between surprise and anger. Suddenly Hermione thought of something.

"Spike, I bet Dumbledore could fix up something for you to help with the sunlight thing," Hermione said.

"Who's Dumbledore?" asked Spike, looking intrigued.

"Our headmaster. He's basically the greatest wizard of all time," Harry replied.

"That'd be brilliant," Spike said.

"Okay then I guess we'll have to wait until Spike's problem is sorted out," Cordelia sighed.

Hermione thought she heard Spike chuckle. Probably because of the suggestion, Spike warmed up a lot to them and spent the rest of the time telling them about his days as a vampire. Hermione and Dawn were fascinated and even Harry and Ron became interested. Cordelia walked around the crypt, suggesting all the things Spike could change, until Spike threatened to stuff her in the tomb, at which point she sat down in the corner and sulked.

When Buffy arrived they were all laughing, except Cordelia. "So it wasn't that bad was it?" Buffy asked.
"Nah," Harry and Ron said.

"Bye Slayer. Nibblet. Princess. Ginger. Scar-head. Hermy." As Spike said her name he grinned at her and she smiled back. They all let, except for Buffy who said she needed a word with Spike. When Buffy came out of the crypt, she looked grim, and Hermione could hear Spike swearing. Cordelia soon departed to her hotel, and when they reached the Summers house Dawn, and Buffy said goodbye and went into the house. Inside they saw Sirius who asked them how it went, talked with them for a bit, then said goodnight. They all trooped upstairs. Hermione could tell that Ron and Harry's muscles must be aching at much as hers.

"So Hermione, what do you think about the shopping?" Harry asked

"I'm not sure," she said. "It sounds okay."

"Well I can't wait to see what you buy," Ron replied.

"That's it. Goodnight to both of you," Hermione said.

"Goodnight Hermy," they yelled and before she could say anything they ran into their rooms.

Boys, Hermione thought, as she entered her own room. Changing into pyjamas and settling into bed, she felt Crookshanks jump onto the bed and curl up beside her. Hermione fell asleep, thinking about the day in store for her tomorrow.


A/N: Okay I really want to get to the next chapter (I have some great ideas including lingerie shopping) so this was kind of a fill in, but I wanted to do some Spike and the Trio interaction. Also I need a better nickname the Spike has for Hermione. Please give me some suggestions, and of course review.