Chapter 7
There were rings under her eyes, her skin was deathly pale and her head throbbed unbearably. Lately Louise could hardly sleep at night as she kept thinking of Joseph and how close she was to losing him forever. The lack of sleep was playing havoc on her nerves and body, and on top of it all, the long hours at work added to her already weak spirit. She tried to pretend she was fine in front of Annie, but the woman could see through her. Annie scolded her as if she were her mother, insisting over and over again that she needed to get her rest and look after herself. 'Worrying like that won't bring your son back,' Annie had said and Lou knew she was right, but she simply couldn't help fretting.
Louise had seriously considered the idea of grabbing Joseph and flying away, but she had come to realize that there was no way she could do something like that. On spying the Culpeppers, she had seen they didn't leave Joseph alone for a single moment, and he didn't even go to school. The couple had hired a teacher that came to the house every day. Lou's heart almost bled to see her son so close and being unable to be with him. She couldn't approach him since Thomas Culpepper was always with him and Lou didn't want to upset Joseph. Nothing she saw led her to believe that the Culpeppers were treating Joseph other than with respect and … yeah, love.
As far as she could see from watching them come and go, Joseph was a happy little boy, well clothed and fed, and every time he carried a different toy or book. The Culpeppers were giving him what she probably couldn't. She was penniless… a poor woman who had to work her fingers to the bone for a meager salary, who lived in a pitiable hole, and who had lowered herself to humiliation for the wrong reasons. What could she have to offer her son? Wouldn't he be better off with the Culpeppers? Wasn't giving up on him the right thing to do? If she loved him so much… As soon as the questions invaded her mind, she had to shush them away. Joseph was her son, her baby, her very special angel. He was her strength during those years she had been in prison. She just couldn't live without him, she just couldn't.
Lou was feeling at her wits' end. Her lawyer didn't give her answers or hope, and she didn't know what to do. All the odds were against her and she was likely to lose her son forever. Every day was a living nightmare for her, locked up in her own loneliness and no key in sight for her liberation. Lately she had started considering Henderson's suggestion. Maybe she needed to contact Joseph's father, but how? She didn't have the faintest idea where he might be. The last thing she heard was he had gone off to fight in the war. Lou didn't even know if he had made it to the end of the war safe and sound. If he was actually alive, where could she start looking? Maybe she could telegraph Rachel and ask her. She might know. Yet, Lou didn't even know if Rachel was still living in Rock Creek. She hadn't seen or heard from Rachel for nine years. It was very likely Rachel wasn't in Rock Creek either, but even if she was and told her about Kid's whereabouts, he might be in the other end of the country. The trial was a month away and there was not time enough to find Kid. Besides, what could she do then? Appear in his life out of the blue and blurt out that she needed his help in her fight for their son? That was simply insane.
All these thoughts kept bouncing in her mind and all she managed was to be going in circles over and over again and end up in a blind alley. There was no solution, there was no way out. Suddenly, she stopped waking as something caught her eye. Her eyes widened in astonishment, and she struggled to see among the crowd of people walking in the street. Just feet ahead of where she stood, a man stood next to a blonde lady. Lou had only got a glimpse of part of his face and right now all she could see was his turned back. 'No, it can't be. It's impossible,' Lou's mind kept repeating as her eyes almost popped out to spot a tiny little sign that told her she was just mistaken.
The blonde lady hooked her arm around the gentleman's and they started strolling along the walkway. It took Lou a second to swing into action and follow them at a short and safe distance. As the couple talked and laughed, she got some glimpses of the man's face as he turned to address his companion. He was Kid's spitting image as far as Lou could see… same hair color, same smile, same eyes, but Lou kept repeating mentally that it couldn't be him. 'It's just somebody who looks a lot like him. It can't be him. It isn't possible,' she reasoned.
Louise stopped behind a column when the couple halted to talk to an elegant gentleman. It was then that Lou got to have a much better view of the man. Dazed, she stared at him and she had to admit that he could be Kid… an older version of the Kid she had known, but that smile of his was unmistakable, the same smile that lit up her son's beautiful face, identical and so unique.
After a few minutes of conversation, Kid and his lady friend shook hands with the gentleman, bid him goodbye and crossing the street, they got on a carriage and drove off. Lou kept rooted on the spot, deep in thought. What was Kid doing in Richmond? Was he in town for a visit or was he actually living in the same city as her? The lady that was with him was probably his wife… a nice-looking woman, maybe a few years older than him, Lou could guess, but she seemed the type of woman she knew Kid liked, proper and distinguished. Not like her, of course.
Laying eyes on Kid after so many years was totally bizarre, especially under the circumstances she found herself. She had been thinking of him, considering searching for his help, and then he appeared before her very eyes. Most strange. Was this a sign? Did this mean that she had a hope now? She wanted to believe she did, but she was uncertain. What would she do now? Would she help her? Or would she turn her away? He'd probably have a perfect, little family. How could she disrupt his life like this? Right now she didn't care… she was desperate and she was ready to stomp over anybody or anything for her son's sake. Joseph was more important than anything else. She'd talk to Kid… she had to, didn't she? But first, she needed to find out his whereabouts and situation.
Louise approached the smart gentleman Kid had been talking to a few moments ago. "Excuse me, sir."
The man had been buckling the straps on the saddle of his horse and on hearing the female voice, he turned round. "Anything I can do for you Ma'am?" the man asked, lifting his hat in a gentlemanlike fashion.
Louise could see that he was a good-looking fellow; slick black hair and deep dark eyes stood out in the fine-featured man. His bearing and looks smelled of money, a scent that Lou couldn't miss. "Uh… the man you were talking to just now… is his name… uh… by any chance… uh… Kid?" Lou asked clumsily and as the man narrowed his eyes in wonderment, she added, "I just got a quick glimpse of him and I'm not totally sure it was him."
"Well, Ma'am, his name is Alistair Carmichael," the man replied, "but you are right… Kid is what we… his friends call him… funny nickname, don't you think?"
"I guess it is," Lou muttered, silently wondering why Kid had always kept his real name a secret before. Apparently, he went by his given name now, but Lou thought that she would never think of Kid by other name… Kid would always be Kid for her.
"I imagine that you're a friend… or maybe family, Mrs.…?"
Louise hesitated to answer and finally blurted out the first name that crossed her mind, "Uh… Dunne… Rachel Dunne. And yes, I'm kind of family."
"Mrs. Dunne, it's a pleasure to meet you at last. Kid talks so much about you, but I don't know why, I thought you were older."
Louise cleared her throat uncomfortably. She tightened her coat and skillfully moved the basket she was carrying on her front. "Uh… you're very kind, sir," Lou mumbled, cursing herself for this slip. She hadn't counted on this dapper man knowing who Rachel was.
"I don't recall Kid saying you'd be coming to the wedding. I imagine there's been a change of plans then?"
"The wedding…" Lou echoed with a surprised tone, but noticing the man's eyes on her, she quickly got a grip on herself and hurried to explain, "Yeah, of course I've come for the wedding! Yeah, what else? And yes, there's been a change of plans as you say."
"I'll be there too, so it would be a real pleasure to see you on Saturday."
"Thank you," Lou muttered, smiling awkwardly. Apparently, Kid was getting married. He couldn't have chosen a worse moment to decide to get hitched, Louise thought. Well, she couldn't care less. She still wasn't sure if the best course of action was trying to engage his help, but if she decided to go for it, he'd have to help her whether he wanted to or not.
"Well, Mrs. Dunne, I'm afraid I have to leave. I'll see you on Saturday and by the way, my name is Luther Lewis."
Louise shook hands with the man. She had heard of him before. Luther Lewis was a prestigious lawyer in the city. He has a reputation for being honest and brilliant in his profession, and Lou wished she could have the means to hire him for her case, instead of Henderson. After all, Henderson wasn't much of a help or at least, so far she was getting nothing out of their deal.
"Nice to meet you, Mr. Lewis," she said, realizing that she hadn't managed to get the information she needed out of this man. She still didn't know where to find Kid, but it would sound very strange to ask him about Kid's whereabouts when she had claimed she was family to him. Lewis might tell Kid about his encounter with "Rachel", and to play it for safe, she added, "And Mr. Lewis, I appreciate it if you didn't mention me to Kid. As you mentioned before, he doesn't expect me and I want to give him a little surprise."
"My lips are sealed then."
Louise voiced her thanks and quickly dashed towards the market. She needed to think what she wanted to do. This wasn't a simple business, and she had a lot at stake. First of all, she needed to find where Kid lived, but now that she knew his real name, it wouldn't be difficult, even Annie might know. Because of the business she ran, she knew lots of people and even if she didn't, she'd know who could tell her about Kid. And then what? Should she just go and drop on him that he had a child? Maybe there was a way she could get his help without telling him everything. In any case, she'd wait for a while before doing anything rash. At least, she wouldn't go to him until he got married. This would surely be an uncomfortable business for him, and she wouldn't spoil his plans. She wasn't so rotten as she sometimes felt and Kid held a special place in her memories. Besides, she still needed to think, and this time would give her the chance to chew over the whole matter and find a way to tackle the situation as easily as possible.
As Lou reached the market and came closer to the fish stall, her steps quickened. "Annie! Annie!"
The woman was chopping chunks of swordfish and without turning her eyes from the bloody white flesh, she asked, "Did you take the Smithsons their order?"
"Yeah, here's the money."
"Go on then," the woman replied, continuing with the task at hand.
"Do you know somebody called Alistair… uh… oh… oh shoot, what was it? Alistair… Alistair… oh yeah, Alistair Carmichael?"
"Carmichael? Let me think…" Annie stopped the job and kept thoughtful for a few seconds. "Oh yes. Alistair Carmichael, a very nice man indeed."
"What do you know about him? Does he live here in Richmond?"
"Yeah, he has a big property outside town. Breeds horses and sells them. I heard he's doing very well."
"That's what he kept saying he wanted to do when we were engaged," Lou muttered under her breath, but loud enough for Annie to hear.
"Engaged?" the woman asked with curiosity, putting down the knife and turning all her attention to Louise.
"Don't get all excited. We never got married. I left him."
"You silly thing!" Annie exclaimed. "How could you do something so stupid? He's such a handsome and nice man!"
"How long has he been living here?" Lou asked, ignoring Annie's last comment.
"I can't really tell for sure. Maybe four or five years… shortly after the war finished."
"That long?" Lou asked surprised. "He was living in this town, in the same town I was living all this time and never before did I come across him!"
"Well, I think he doesn't come to town very often," Annie explained. She paused and unable to hold her curiosity back, she asked, "So what's with him, Louise? Why this sudden interest in your former sweetheart?"
"He… he's Joseph's father."
"So are you going to talk to him about your problem now?"
"I guess… well maybe… I really don't know."
"Louise, you have to!" Annie exclaimed firmly. "He has to help you! He's morally obliged. You've looked after his son for all these years on your own. Now you need his help. He has to take on his responsibility for Joseph as well! Both men and women are equally responsible for their children."
"It's not so simple, Annie. Actually, it's not his fault. How can somebody shoulder a responsibility when you don't know you have one?"
"He doesn't know about Joseph?" Annie asked flabbergasted, and Lou shook her head no. "Why not, Louise?"
"I… I don't know… I guess I didn't get the chance to tell him… It's … it's complicated."
"Well, it seems the time for you to fess up has come, doesn't it?"
"There's something else, Annie. He's getting married on Saturday." Louise remarked in a tiny voice.
"What if he is? That doesn't change the fact that you need his help and he is Joseph's father. Don't you always say you'd do anything for your son? Well, here's your chance. You have a hope you can't pass up. Or do you prefer the Culpeppers keep your baby?"
Lou shook her head. Annie was right. She needed to talk to Kid. If he hadn't changed, Lou knew he wouldn't turn his back on her. He would help her. But how to tell him? No doubt the news about his fatherhood would be shocking, to say the least, and whether she wanted or not, this might mean turmoil in her life. She had thought she would never see Kid again. Of course from time to time she thought of him and wondered how different her life might be if she had married him. But the thoughts disappeared almost as fast as they got in her head. It hurt her to think of that, and it was better not to think much about a time that would never come back. It seemed that she had been wrong, and she'd have to face that past again. The light at the end of the tunnel that had been so dark this morning would be her heaven and hell at the same time. If she could, she'd run away to the opposite direction, but there was no other direction. What else could she resort to? She had nothing and nobody. So her only solution lay on the hands of her ex-friend, ex-lover, ex-fiancé, and she'd better pray that things would turn out better than the last time they saw each other.
