"Last time, on The Smashy Amazing Race," said Master Hand, "Seven teams set out on the sixth leg on a race around the world!
"Teams travelled to Kanto! Once there, they decided between doing a Road Block and trying to complete the Fast Forward!
"Jigglypuff surged through the Road Block, giving her team a small lead!
"Peach and Mario got lost on the Fast Forward after Bowser and Ganondorf lead them the wrong way!
"In the Fast Forward, it was a race between Bowser and Ganondorf and Zelda and Donkey Kong to see who could finish eating raw Wigglytuffs first! Both teams were hesitant, but in the end, Donkey Kong gave up, helping Bowser and Ganondorf complete the Road Block!

"That… was horrible!" said Donkey Kong, trembling. "Eating raw things alive… how could anyone do that?

"As Bowser and Ganondorf left the Road Block, Peach and Mario found the bridge, but they were too late!"

"That means… we're done for! We're going to be eliminated!" said Mario in shock.

"At the front of the pack, Jigglypuff received a mysterious call!" said Master Hand.

A deep voice at the other end of the line muttered something.
Kirby looked at Jigglypuff, not managing to make out the voice.
"What's he saying?" asked Kirby.
"I dunno, something about there being a bomb in this taxi!" said Jigglypuff, cheerfully.

"Meanwhile, Samus and Falcon, thinking they were ahead, got lost!" said Master Hand.

"Hey, is this where we get the clue?" asked Samus.
"What clue?" asked the gym master, "What are you talking about?"
"Isn't this Fuchsia city gym?" asked Samus.
"What? Where's Fuchsia city gym?" asked the gym master.

"Bowser, who was set to win the leg of the race, left behind his wallet, which contained vital information!" said Master Hand.

"I can't find my wallet! I think… I left behind our passpzorts back at the bridge!" said Bowser, shocked.

"Meanwhile, in Zelda and Donkey Kong's taxi, Zelda was confronted by a policeman!" said Master Hand.

"I'm sorry to disturb you, but we have a warrant," said the police officer, "for her arrest."
The police officer pointed at Zelda.

"Meanwhile, Popo and Young Link's taxi fell off a cliff!" said Master Hand. "What has happened to all of these teams in potentially life-threatening situations! Have any of them DIED? Seven teams remained… who will be eliminated next?" asked Master Hand.

The Teams: (with cliffhangers)

Zelda and Donkey Kong (Zelda is arrested?!1)
Kirby and Jigglypuff (There's a bomb in their taxi?)
Ness and Yoshi (They'll be killed by the crazy woman?)
Bowser and Ganondorf (Had their passports stolen?)
Peach and Mario (So far behind that they'll be eliminated?)
Samus and Falcon (Lost?)
Young Link and Popo (Have they died because their taxi fell off a cliff?)

8:00 AM
Fuchsia City Gym

Kirby and Jigglypuff
Currently in 1st Place

Jigglypuff's phone rang. Jigglypuff took her phone out of her purse.

"I didn't know you had a phone," said Kirby.

"I didn't, but I found this nice phone in the purse of the woman sitting next to us!" said Jigglypuff.

"Isn't that… stealing?" said Kirby, slightly worried.

"Well… it's not my fault she just left it there when she went to the bathroom!" said Jigglypuff, defensively.

Kirby sighed.

Kirby looked at Jigglypuff's purse.

"I didn't know you had a handbag!" said Kirby angrily.

"Er… let me answer the call!" said Jigglypuff, trying to sound angry.

Jigglypuff answered her phone.

"Hello?" asked Jigglypuff.

A deep voice at the other end of the line muttered something.

Kirby looked at Jigglypuff, not managing to make out the voice.

"What's he saying?" asked Kirby.

"I dunno, something about there being a bomb in this taxi!" said Jigglypuff, cheerfully.

"WTF?!" said Kirby, alarmed.

Kirby took the phone from Jigglypuff.

"Hey!" said Jigglypuff, slightly angrily.

The phone rang again. Kirby answered the phone, and held it up to his ear.

"There is a bomb in your taxi," said a deep voice at the other end of the line, "Unless you give me your bank account details and let me have two-hundred thousand dollars, I will detonate the bomb and you will ALL DIE!"

The deep voice laughed menacingly.

"Whatever," said Kirby, hanging up.

"Hey, we're at the gym!" said Jigglypuff, pointing out of the window.

The taxi came to a stop, and Kirby and Jigglypuff slipped out via the window.

"Thanks!" said Jigglypuff, handing a few notes to the taxi driver.

Kirby and Jigglypuff walked towards the gym.

"Ha," laughed Kirby haughtily, "What kind of idiot thinks that he can get two-hundred thousand dollars out of us? I mean, does he really expect us to believe that there was actually a bomb in the taxi?"

Kirby and Jigglypuff's taxi, twenty metres behind them blew up.

"Okay, maybe I was wrong," chuckled Kirby nervously.

Samus and Falcon

Samus and Falcon stood outside a gym, completely puzzled.

"Where are we?" asked Samus. "Our stupid taxi driver took us to the wrong place!"

"Oh… dear…" said Falcon, trying to sound as if he were shocked.

Falcon pretended to be surprised as he pointed at a shop.

"Oh look, an erotic bookstore!" said Falcon, trying to act surprised, "I'm sure the shop owner, 'Scott Wembley Jackson' can help us!"

"How do you know the name of the owner of an erotic bookstore?" asked Samus. "It's almost as if-"

"No talking right now! Our time is valuable!" said Falcon, faking a state of anger.

Falcon grinned, then ran into the bookstore, dragging Samus along with him.

"Hi, can I have a… map of the area please?" asked Falcon.

"Uh…" replied the owner, "If you're looking for a map, why can't you go to 'Maps R Us'? I mean, it's like the biggest map store in the area!"

"I was the guy who e-mailed you this morning, asking for 'a map', remember?" asked Falcon, making the inverted comma signs with his fingers, "Remember, you're the only place in the world with these 'maps'?"

Falcon winked. Samus glared suspiciously at Falcon. The shopkeeper sighed.

"Here's your map of Twelve Short Stories about the Hot Gwembly Girls'," said the shopkeeper, handing Falcon a map, which had a large book-shape in the middle, obviously concealing something.

Samus and Falcon walked back to the taxi.

"Can we go to the Fuchsia Gym now? Really this time?" asked Falcon.

Samus stared blankly at Falcon.

"Are you telling me you went into the taxi beforehand, bribed the driver to go to some erotic bookstore to buy some smutty novel to fulfil your fantasies about what you will never get, you rude, obscene pig, and more importantly waste about two hours of our time, possibly stopping me from getting my million dollars? I can't believe you could be so selfish for me! I mean, I could have used the money for something nice, like some new ammunition or something? But you, you piece of slime, you just had to ruin it all! We're going to be eliminated because of you!" screamed Samus.

Falcon started to sob.

"Heh, heh," thought Falcon to himself, "She'll regret all of what she said because she know she's upset me! She'll think that she's torn a man's heart apart!"

"Falcon?" said Samus.

"Yes?" replied Falcon.

"You're a pussy," said Samus.

"Oh," said Falcon.

Zelda and Donkey Kong

"I'm sorry, we're going to have to have to arrest you for four counts of shoplifting!" said the police officer.

"What?" asked Zelda, outraged, "Those charges are ridiculous! Where could I be hiding the goods then, huh?"

A couple of bars of soap fell out from under Zelda's shirt. Zelda quickly pushed them back in.

"Uh… I have a baby…" said Zelda.

A few more bars of soap fell out. Zelda pushed them back in.

"Heh," laughed Zelda nervously, "I guess the baby is making his first soap, right?"

Zelda continued to laugh maniacally.

"I'm sorry, but you're going to have to step out of the car!" said the police officer impatiently.

"But… it will upset the baby!" said Zelda, grinning in a way that would make others uncomfortable.

"Step out, or I will make you step out!" said the police officer angrily.

"No!" said Zelda, "I have my rights!"

"Your rights are abandoned when you shoplift!" replied the officer angrily.

"What shoplifting?" asked Zelda.

All of the soap fell out from under her shirt.

"I'm going to put handcuffs on you now," said the officer.

"You… er… wouldn't do that to a woman!" said Zelda, desperately.

"Oh… you're a woman?" laughed the police officer. "Well women cannot commit crimes! I'll let you go!"

The police officer walked away.

Zelda gritted her teeth.

"That is so… so… so sexist!" said Zelda angrily.

"Zelda, if he didn't let you off," said Donkey Kong, "Then we would have-"

"That is so sexist!" said Zelda angrily. "I can't believe him!"

Donkey Kong sighed.

Ness and Yoshi

"Hahaha," muttered the evil gym trainer. "You can never escape! NEVER!"

The evil gym trainer laughed sadistically.

Yoshi and Ness opened the door and jumped out.

"Oh," said the gym trainer.

Kirby and Jigglypuff
Currently in 1st Place

"Here's the clue box!" said Kirby, taking a clue. "It's not even inside the gym!"

Jigglypuff snatched the clue, and put it back in the box.

"Look, here's the clue box! I'll read the clue!" said Jigglypuff.

"Teehee," laughed Kirby.

"What?" said Jigglypuff, slightly annoyed, "Are you laughing at me because I got to the clue box first?"

Kirby sighed. Jigglypuff, accomplished, opened the clue.

"Detour! Trap or Get Trapped!" said Jigglypuff.

"Detour!" said Master Hand. "A detour is a choice between two tasks, in this detour: Trap or Get Trapped!
"In Trap, teams must travel to the 'Safari Zone', one of the largest areas to catch wild Pokemon! Once there, they must collect five 'Safari' balls, and catch five wild Pokemon with them! What teams do not know is that they have no Pokemon to battle the wild Pokemon with! Instead, teams must use traditional materials provided to knock out the Pokemon!
"In Get Trapped, teams must go inside the city gym, and navigate their way through a series of invisible walls and deadly traps to the centre of the gym, where they will be handed their next clue! This may seem easy, but many people who have attempted to go through the maze have been hospitalised, or have had their bodies found weeks later."

"Let's do the gym one," said Kirby.

Young Link and Popo

"What's wrong?" asked Popo, as the taxi came to a stop.

"I don't know, I think the engine is stuffed," said the taxi driver, "Can you step outside and push the taxi while I'm on neutral gear?"

"Sure," said Popo, stepping out of the taxi. "Come on Young Link, help!"

"Fine," sighed Young Link, stepping out. "It shouldn't be that hard to get the taxi moving, I mean, the hill is on a deep slant, and the car is on neutral!"

With one little push to the taxi from Young Link, the taxi accelerated and sped down the hill.

"That was easy, now all we have to do is catch up to our taxi!" said Popo, starting to run. "That was too easy!"

"Actually," said Popo, slightly anxiously, "Maybe we should be concerned about the sharp-right corner at the bottom of the hill? Because if the taxi goes straight, then it will just fall off a giant…"

Young Link and Popo's taxi fell off a cliff.

"Oh my gawd," said Popo, shocked, "We should check to see if he's alright!"

"Don't worry! I will represent you in court!" said a man in a suit, walking up to them. "I have fourteen years of experience, and actually graduated from a law school!"

"Oh boy," said Young Link, "We should hi-"

"But why would we need a lawyer if nobody saw us commit the crime?" asked Popo.

"Well… uh…" said the lawyer, scratching his head. "Just wait a second…"

The lawyer took out his mobile phone, and dialled a number.

"Hello? Police?" said the lawyer.

"That is pathetic!" said Young Link, throwing a chicken at the lawyer.

The lawyer tumbled over the cliff.

"I can't believe you could have done that! What kind of person are you?" asked Popo, staring in disbelief.

Young Link told a lawyer joke to Popo.

"Hahaha," laughed Popo.

Bowser and Ganondorf
At Nugget Bridge

"Here's the bridge!" said Bowser to the taxi driver, "Wait here!"

"I just hope some weirdo hasn't taken our passports," said Ganondorf, getting out of the taxi.

Peach and Mario
At Nugget Bridge

"Oh man, we're going to lose!" sobbed Mario, sitting on a bench.

"Hey Mario, look what I found!" said Peach, holding up some passports.

Mario inspected closer.

"Hey, these are Ganondorf and Bowser's passports!" said Mario, surprised. "Maybe at the pit stop we should-"

"Hey Mario, have you seen our passports?" called Bowser, standing on a field of grass several metres away. "We were going to the pit stop, but then we decided to turn all the way back here, because we can't check in without our passports!"

Said Peach, "Yeah, they're-"

Mario covered Peach's mouth. "Uh… we haven't seen your passports!"

Mario chuckled manically, whilst trying to conceal Bowser and Ganondorf's passports.

"Then what are you holding in your hand there?" asked Bowser, slightly suspicious.

"What hand?" asked Mario, still chucking crazily.

"Your right hand," replied Bowser bluntly. "Are those our passports?"

"No… these are… our passports!" chuckled Mario.

"Bowser, I found your passport on the ground r-" said Peach.

Mario covered Peach's mouth.

"Um… I would like to stay… but Peach needs… a toilet break!" laughed Mario insanely.

"But I don't need to go," said Peach, confused.

Mario picked up Peach, and dashed away to a nearby building.

Bowser and Ganondorf
Currently in Last Place

"Hey Ganondorf, I think Peach and Mario have our passports!" said Bowser, running up to Ganondorf, "Let's get to them before they hide it somewhere!"

Peach and Mario
Currently in 6th Place

"They'll never find their passports in this rubbish bin!" cackled Mario maniacally.

Mario threw the passports in the rubbish bin.

Bowser and Ganondorf ran up to Mario.

"So you did have our passports!" said Bowser, angrily.

"Well it's too late now, as your passports are in the deep depths of the rubbish bin!" cackled Mario evilly. "You will search frantically for hours, stuck with the thought in your mind that you have been tricked by an Italian plumber!"

"NOOOO!" wept Bowser.

"And once you do find your passports," cackled Mario, "You will be so dirty and unclean that your stench will make you into a state of lethargicness!"

"NOOOOO!" screamed Bowser.

"And once you do arrive at the pit stop, you will be there so late that everyone else would have left the country by then!"

"NOOOOOOOO!" screamed Bowser, "We'll be stuck here forever!"

Mario grinned, knowing he had won.

"I mean, it could take us hours to find our passports!" said an anxious Bowser, picking up the rubbish bin, "I mean, the contents of the bin could be so huge that-"

Bowser picked up the bin, and tipped it over.

Two passports, the only contents of the bin fell onto the ground.

"Oh…" said Bowser, "Well so much for that idea, I guess. Better luck next time, Mario!"

Bowser chuckled heartily.

Mario muttered something in Italian that had to do with body parts.

Kirby and Jigglypuff
On Detour: Get Trapped

"Imagine how hard navigating this maze must have been for anybody without a GPS system?" said Kirby whilst looking at the fancy navigation system held in his hands.

"HA! Kirby, your navigation devices are so primitive in comparison to my new-age techniques!" laughed Jigglypuff, taking a pair of x-ray glasses out of a 'Chocolate Puffs' cereal box.

"Hehe, that's cute!" laughed Kirby, "But seriously, I don't think we can stuff around any longer, I mean, if we want to win the race, then we have to use this GPS system to-"

"Stop living in the past, Kirby!" said Jigglypuff angrily, taking Kirby's GPS system and smashing it onto the ground, "Use the modern tools that we have!"

Jigglypuff triumphantly put on her x-ray glasses.

"Jigglypuff, you do rea-"

"Shh…" said Jigglypuff angrily, "I'm trying to get these x-ray glasses to work!"

"But-"

"Be quiet!" said Jigglypuff, adjusting a non-existent knob at the side of her glasses.

"You do-"

"That's strange…" said Jigglypuff, confused, "These X-ray glasses don't seem to have a horribly long range of looking through walls…"

"Jigglypuff, thos-"

"In fact, I think the only thing that these glasses do is make everything appear green in one eye and red in the other!" said Jigglypuff, shocked.

"That's what I've been-"

"Actually, I don't think that these are state of the art x-ray glasses, but they're actually just cardboard covered in coloured foil!" sobbed Jigglypuff.

"There there," comforted Kirby, sighing, "I mean-"

"I'm such a fool!" cried Jigglypuff, "I'm sorry, Kirby!"

"It's okay," said Kirby, "I'm sure you're not the only one who's thought that those glasses actually worked!"

"Really?" asked Jigglypuff, hopefully.

"Y- yeah… sure…" said Kirby, smiling, trying to sound genuine, "There are probably lots of people!"

Ness and Yoshi
Currently in 2nd Place

"We're lost!" said Yoshi, panicking.

"That's okay Yoshi, because we can find our way to the gym with these x-ray glasses!" cheered Ness, putting them on.

"Hurrah!" said Yoshi, putting his pair on.

Silence.

"Are you folks looking for the city gym?" asked a local, "Because it's just across the road from here, and I was just wondering if-"

"Shh!" said Ness angrily, "We're concentrating!"

"Bu-"

Ness did his 'angry beaver' face at the man.

"Fine then!" said the man angrily.

Zelda and Donkey Kong
Currently in 3rd Place

"The 'treating Hylian women like they have special needs' thing has been around for ages!" said Zelda angrily, continuing her twenty minute rant.

"We're here," said Donkey Kong, getting out of the taxi.

"I mean, Mushroom Kingdom women aren't treated like that!" said Zelda angrily.

"Hey look, isn't that Ness and Yoshi?" said Donkey Kong, confused, "They're just standing there… wearing x-ray glasses!"

"Why do people view us differently?" asked Zelda angrily, "I mean, why can't us Hylian Women be treated as normal people? The way that men treat us is practically sexist!"

"Hey, there's the clue box!" said Donkey Kong, excited.

"If a woman from any other country in the whole universe gets caught shoplifting, they are prosecuted! The law is used against them!" said Zelda angrily.

Donkey Kong read the clue.

"Why can't we get prosecuted and get an article in some shoddy newspaper the next day?" asked Zelda.

"I think we should do the search the gym one," said Donkey Kong.

"Fine then, as long as it doesn't involve using my Hyrulian femaleness to our advantage!" sulked Zelda.

"Hi, my beautiful Hyrulian lady," said a man, walking up to Zelda, "Would you like me to show you to the middle of the gym?"

Zelda punched the man in the face. "STOP TREATING ME SPECIALLY!"

The man staggered for a few seconds, and stood up. "I'm just trying to help you out of the goodness of my heart!"

Zelda punched the man in the face again. "I'll help your face!"

"Zelda, maybe we should use this man's offer, I mean, he could help us win a million dollars!" said Donkey Kong.

"Stop being so nice!" said Zelda, punching the man in the face again, just as he had stood up again.

Zelda looked at Donkey Kong angrily.

"Stop helping that man be so nice!" said Zelda, angrily, punching Donkey Kong in the face.

"Ow!" said Donkey Kong, falling to the ground. "Zelda, the only reason why I haven't called the police is because you're a Hyrulian lady, and I wouldn't report a Hyrulian lady to the poli-"

Zelda kicked Donkey Kong lower down.

"Ow!" said Donkey Kong.

Samus and Falcon
Currently in 4th Place

"Hey, there's the clue box!" said Samus, pointing out of the window.

The taxi screeched to a halt, and Samus and Falcon ran out across to the other side of the road.

Samus quickly pulled the clue out, opened it, read it, and looked at Falcon.

"The going through the maze thing will be easy, I can just break all of the walls, and walk through!" said Samus.

"But you don't have any rockets left… they were taken in customs, and you've used all your ammo! What are we going to use to break all of those walls?" asked Falcon.

Samus grinned slyly at Falcon.

"What?" said Falcon, slightly worried, "What are you looking at me for?"

Samus continued to grin slyly.

"Haha, you're suggesting that you would pick me up and break walls with me? That's hilarious!" laughed Falcon. "Good one Samus, good one!"

Samus continued to grin at Falcon.

"Are we going… to do the maze properly now or something?"

Samus continued to grin at Falcon.

"It's as if you're not joking or something?" said Falcon angrily, "Which you're not of course, right? Right?"

Young Link and Popo
Currently in 5th Place

"I know it's great that this store sells unusual large amounts of caffeinated sugar cane for a dollar," said Popo angrily, "But we really need to get back in the race! We've been here for an hour!"

"Well you've had your stop, so I get to have mine!" replied Young Link angrily. "We both get to have equal pullover time!"

"But my stop was to get out of the car because we crashed into someone!" said Young Link angrily.

"Well it was your decision to get out!" said Young Link angrily.

"No it wasn't! You told me to get out of the car!" said Popo.

"Well that crazy Pokemon took our back wheels ransom for one of us coming out!" said Young Link.

"But that doesn't mean that that was my stop!" said Popo.

"Stop wasting time, you time waster!" shouted Young Link, taking a bite out of his caffeinated sugar cane.

Popo sighed.

A lawyer walked in.

"Are any of you in trouble with the law?" asked the lawyer.

"Now I am," laughed Young Link, throwing some sugar cane at the lawyer.

The sugar cane impaled itself into the lawyer's eyes, permanently damaging his vision.

"GAWF! What did you do!" screamed Popo, shocked, "Do you know the consequences? You could be in a lot of trouble! Why did you do it? Your actions were so irresponsible, immature, unreasonable and-"

Young Link told a lawyer joke to Popo.

"Hahaha," laughed Popo.

Peach and Mario
Heading towards pit stop

"We have to stall-a them so we win!" said Mario, whose declining health was becoming apparent.

Mario rolled down the windows and threw various items from inside the taxi towards Bowser and Ganondorf's taxi, including the door, two cans of cola, Peach's suitcase, the taxi lights and an information sheet about negligent behaviour inside a taxi.

"Somehow I don't think that will work," said Peach.

"Fine then! You stall them!" said Mario angrily.

Bowser and Ganondorf
Heading towards pit stop

As he scavenged his way through a packet of chips, Bowser's cell phone rang.

"Hello?" asked Bowser.

"Uh…" said Peach from the other end of the phone, "Uh…"

"Tell Mario to stop throwing stuff at our taxi!" said Bowser angrily, "If he thinks that we'll actually slow down, he's wrong!"

"Well uh… what I really meant to tell you is that… your taxi is going… the wrong way…" said Peach, ad lib, "You need to turn the taxi around… and go the opposite way… because you'll get to the pit stop quicker… yeah…"

"You're in the taxi right next to us!" said Bowser angrily, "You can't fool us, I can see you on your phone right there!"

"Well uh…" said Peach, covering her head with a jumper, "Can you see us now?"

Bowser hung up.

Fuchsia City Gym

Kirby and Jigglypuff
On Detour: Get Trapped

"Hey look Jigs, we're done!" said Kirby, pointing to the gym master, who was holding a few clues.

"Who's Jigglypuff?" said Jigglypuff, wearing a pair of glasses with a fake nose and moustache attached to them, a pink sunhat and a fake goatee.

"Hehe Jigs, that's cute!" laughed Kirby, taking the clue from the gym master.

"You must now make your way to the pit stop, at Warden Slowpoke's house, in Fuchsia city!" read Kirby.

"Teams must now make their way two hundred metres to the pit stop, at Warden Slowpoke's house!" said Master Hand, "A house that is… uh… very famous… for such activities… and what not… stuff it… we only used the spot because it's the only place that could fit a pit-stop mat inside there… yeah… the last team to arrive, may be eliminated!"

"Let's go!" said Kirby, looking at Jigglypuff. "…uh… Jigs… where did you get that stuff from? …especially because… uh… there were no shops inside the maze…"

Jigglypuff tossed a large object out of the window.

"Uh… there were shops…" said Jigglypuff suspiciously.

Bowser and Ganondorf
Heading towards pit stop

"Look! Warden Slowpoke's house is only two hundred metres away!" said Bowser, pointing to a sign.

The taxi screeched to a halt, as Bowser threw some loose change at the taxi driver and ran outside.

"We're first here, we can win for once, finally!" celebrated Ganondorf.

A body fell out of the window, crushing Ganondorf.

"Uh… Ganondorf?" said Bowser.

Zelda and Donkey Kong
On Detour: Get Trapped

"Hey look, the gym master is through this door!" said Donkey Kong, pointing at a man through the glass door.

"Well, all we have to do is open the door!" said Zelda, "Such… uncomplex… basic technology… just… opening a door…"

"How do you open a door again?" asked Zelda. "As a Hyrulian lady, my doors are always opened for me!"

"I thought you were just complaining about unfairly nice treatment of Hyrulian women!" said Donkey Kong.

"I know, we're so unfairly treated!" said Zelda angrily. "Everyone who treats a Hyrulian woman specially is so sexist!"

Samus, dragging Falcon by his shirt, opened the door and walked through.

"Well I guess I did open the door in the first place, silly me!" laughed Zelda.

Donkey Kong and Zelda chuckled.

Kirby and Jigglypuff
Heading towards pit stop

"It's kind of ridiculous how this is the only exit to the place," said Kirby, crawling through the large air vent.

"Actually, the exit sign was pointing to a giant ladder that led to the top of the building, not the air vent," said Jigglypuff.

"Oh," said Kirby.

Bowser and Ganondorf
Heading towards pit stop

"There!" said Bowser, lifting the body off Ganondorf.

"Come on, we have to win this leg before the puffballs do!" said Ganondorf.

Peach and Mario
Heading towards pit stop

"Hey look, there's Bowser and Ganondorf-a!" said Mario, "Stop the taxi!"

Mario, dragging Peach along, ran out without paying.

"Quickly, we have to beat them!" said Mario, "Throw stuff at them that will slow them down!"

Mario picked up a rock, and threw it at Bowser.

A rock hit Bowser's head.

"Ow!" said Bowser, looking behind.

Peach and Mario ran past.

"Hahaha!" laughed Mario, poking his tongue at Ganondorf as he sprinted past.

Mario fell into a ten-metre deep hole.

"I guess he got into trouble for running on hole-y ground!" laughed Bowser.

"…no," said Ganondorf. "Just no."

"Not even a chuckle for trying?" asked Bowser.

"No," said Ganondorf.

Pit Stop

"Look, it's Kirby and Jigglypuff!" said an excited Master Hand, "One of the few teams I can stand to see winning!"

Kirby and Jigglypuff ran up to the pit stop mat. Kirby jumped on the pit stop mat, but Jigglypuff fell face-first, metres before the pit stop.

"Well hurry up, Peach and Mario are coming!" said Master Hand angrily, "This will be horrible for our ratings! Hurry up Bowser and Ganondorf!"

Peach and Mario

"We only have to go through this cloud to win the leg of the race!" said an excited Peach, unaware the 'cloud' she was referencing was Master Hand, trying to physically restrain Peach and Mario from stepping on the mat.

Bowser and Ganondorf

"Look, we still have a chance!" said Ganondorf, sprinting, spotting the pit stop.

Kirby and Jigglypuff

"Jigs, just two more metres!" said a slightly annoyed Kirby, "Wake up!"

Bowser and Ganondorf

"Only a few more metres!" said Bowser, determined.

Peach and Mario

Peach crawled onto the pit stop mat.

"Hooray! We won!" shouted Mario, "We actually won! In your faces! In your faces!"

"Noo!" cried a shocked Master Hand.

"This means that we'll be in the race for longer!" said Peach happily.

"Nooo!"

"And we can help the program to rate better because we're awesome!" said Mario happily.

"NUUUEZ!1" cried Master Hand.

Master Hand's cellphone rung.

"Yes?" cried Master Hand, answering the phone, "Oh what? Hey, great news!"

Master Hand swallowed his saliva.

"Peach and Mario, I have some wonderful news…" said Master Hand.

"We won?" asked Mario.

"Even better…" said Master Hand.

Mario and Peach's kiddy-grins grew in unison.

"You didn't complete the detour or the road block, so you have been penalised for three hours, and you can't check in until then!" said Master Hand.

Peach and Mario's grins dropped into gasps of despair.

"Yay!" applauded Kirby, Bowser, Ganondorf and some random bystanders.

Bowser and Ganondorf stepped on the mat.

"Bowser and Ganondorf, you are team number one!" said Master Hand.

"Hurrah!" said Bowser.

Kirby picked up Jigglypuff, and stood on the mat.

"Kirby and Jigglypuff, you are team number two!" said Master Hand.

Peach and Mario
Time remaining before check-in: 2:46

"It's-a probably been about two hours by now," said a hopeful Mario, "And nobody has turned up! We still might have a chance!"

"Won't Samus and Falcon turn up soon?" asked Peach.

"Don't worry, I've distracted them with a women's interest magazine!" cackled Mario evilly.

Samus and Falcon
Currently in 4th Place

"Are you a fan of race car drivers?" asked Falcon, reading out from a magazine.

"No!" said Samus.

"Okay…" said Falcon, running his finger along the page, "Do you find men who can wield swords well attractive?"

"Yes," said Samus, giggling like a schoolgirl, surprisingly out of character.

"Red hair, blue hair or yellow hair?" asked Falcon, grinning.

"Uh… red hair! Yes, red hair!" said Samus.

"Okay… get a load of this…" laughed Falcon, "Your ideal Smasher is… Captain Falcon! A suave, charming F-Zero driver, he is quite that ladies' man!"

"YOU LIED!" screamed Samus, taking out a missile launcher, "Since when do you have red hair? You are not my ideal Smasher! You cheated!"

"Fine then," sighed Falcon, "Your ideal Smasher is Roy! An Altean…"

"I don't like Roy either!" sulked Samus.

"Why did you take the test then if you don't like any Smasher then?" asked Falcon.

"Okay fine then!" said Samus, "I'll take it again!"

"Your ideal Smasher is Yoshi! A sexy, suave dinosaur…"

"Well, that's okay, after all, Yoshi's the cool guy that I really-"

Falcon stared shocked at Samus.

"Uh… look! Pit stop!" said Samus hurriedly.

"Samus and Falcon, you are team number three!" said Master Hand.

"Look, we came third, hurrah!" said Samus, trying to distract Falcon.

"But you just said before that Yoshi was-"

Samus was so desperate to hide something from Falcon that she managed to knock him out stone cold with a cardboard juice box.

Pit Stop

Peach and Mario
Time remaining: 1:55

"How much time-a do we have left?" asked Mario.

"Two minutes, why?" asked Master Hand.

"Are you serious? We'll-a stay in the race for good!" cheered Mario.

"Hahahaha…" laughed Master Hand, "You fell for it? Ha, you really have two hours left."

"Oh well, Zelda and Donkey Kong won't turn up soon, as I have given them something that is so irresistible they will be distracted for hours!" cackled Mario evilly.

Zelda and Donkey Kong

"An SP3™, the world's newest and most expensive gaming console!" cheered Donkey Kong.

"So how do we play it?" asked Zelda, looking at the SP3 console.

"Well, apparently there's a button that turns it on or something," said Donkey Kong.

"Magic button, reveal yourself to me!" said Zelda, putting a curse on the console.

The console split into many little pieces.

"What a lousy gaming console," said Zelda, "It can't even withstand a little curse."

"It didn't even use its Blue Ray attack," scuffed Donkey Kong.

"And it's supposed to play games!" said Zelda, "If it plays games, how come it can't think of a single move in checkers?"

Donkey Kong and Zelda walked onto the pit stop.

"Zelda and Donkey Kong, you are team number four!" said Master Hand.

"Oh yeah, that's right, we're racing," chuckled Donkey Kong.

Safari Zone
1 hour remaining

Young Link and Popo
2 Pokemon Caught

"We've been sitting here forever," said Young Link angrily, "There must be an easier way to catch Pokemon with our bare hands!"

A raccoon carcass fell out of a nearby tree.

"Hey… that gives me an idea!" said Young Link, grinning.

"How naive do you think the people that run the place are?" asked Popo angrily.

Ness and Yoshi
2 Pokemon Caught

"This is ridiculous! We've spent hours trying to knock out Pokemon with our bare hands, and we've had barely any luck!" complained Yoshi.

"If only there was a way to get this done quicker!" said Ness.

"Isn't that a Pokemon steakhouse over there?" asked Yoshi.

"You're not serious, are you?" said Ness, confused.

Young Link and Popo
Currently in 6th Place

"Okay, we're done!" said Young Link, walking into the Safari Zone clubhouse, carrying several Pokeballs.

"Okay," said a man at a desk, "Let's check that you've actually caught valid Pokemon!"

The man opened the first Pokeball to reveal a bunny-like creature.

"Yep, I caught a Wigglytuff there," said Young Link.

The man opened a second Pokeball, to reveal a Suicune-like creature.

"We caught a Suicune there," said Young Link.

The man opened a third Pokeball, to reveal a raccoon carcass.

"Uh… that's a Pikachu…" said Young Link, trying to obscure the view of the carcass from the man.

The man opened the fourth Pokeball, to reveal roadkill of some sort.

"Um… that's also a Pikachu…" said Young Link, sweating.

"But it's green," said the man.

"Well then, it's a… Greenichu!" said Young Link, pretending to chuckle.

"Haha, that's a good one!" laughed the man, rolling on the floor, "Greenichu! Hahahaha, that's so funny!"

Young Link grabbed a clue and walked out.

"You must now make your way to the pit stop, at Warden Slowpoke's house, in Fuchsia city!" read Young Link.

Ness and Yoshi
Currently in Last Place

"Mmm… that was some nice Pokemon steak," said a satisfied Yoshi, licking his fingers.

"You ate the steak?" said a shocked Ness.

"Oh, I thought we were just going there because we were hungry," chuckled Yoshi.

"Quickly, we have to go back inside there and get us some Pokemon!" said Ness.

Peach and Mario
Time Before Check-in: 0:38

Mario sobbed.

"Cheer up, Mario!" said a happy Peach, "If we get eliminated, you can spend even more time with me! Hooray!"

Mario sobbed harder.

Ness and Yoshi
Currently in Last Place

"Okay, now that we actually have uneaten Pokemon steak this time, we can hand it in and get our clue!" cheered Ness.

Ness and Yoshi ran down to the clubhouse, and grabbed their clue.

"You must now make your way to the pit stop, at Warden Slowpoke's house, in Fuchsia city!" read Ness.

Young Link and Popo

"Finally, a taxi!" said a relieved Young Link, running to a taxi.

"We're in a race," said Young Link, getting into the taxi, "So can you go as fast as you can?"

Ness and Yoshi

"Hey look," said Yoshi, "They're getting in a taxi! Get on the same one!"

Young Link and Popo

"Well, it looks like we finally got rid of-"

As the taxi sped 60 kilometres an hour down the highway, Ness and Yoshi clung onto the taxi, and climbed inside.

"That's against the rules!" said Young Link angrily, "And you're not supposed to run faster than a taxi! It's not allowed!"

Peach and Mario
Time before check-in: 0:08

"I hope they strangle each other and knock each other out," said Mario angrily.

Young Link and Popo
Ness and Yoshi

"Popo, when the taxi stops, we both grab Ness, pin him down to the seat and then beat them to the pit stop," whispered Young Link.

"Uh… I'm Ness… that's Popo," said Ness, pointing to Popo, who was on the other side of Young Link.

"Oh," laughed Young Link nervously, "Heh, I was just joking, we wouldn't ever try and give ourselves an unfair advantage!"

Young Link chuckled for a few seconds, and then leant over to Popo, "Tie up Yoshi when the taxi stops."

"You know I'm psychic, right? I know what you're saying!" said Ness angrily.

Peach and Mario
Time before check-in: 0:03

"How about we move the pit stop mat twelve kilometres away so they can't find us?" plotted Mario.

"That's not allowed!" said Master Hand.

Young Link and Popo
Ness and Yoshi

"He still doesn't notice," laughed Popo, "And we should keep it that way,"

"I can't believe you actually convinced me to do that," said an ashamed Popo, looking at Yoshi's tongue being tied to the steering wheel.

"Hey look, the taxi's coming to a stop!" said Popo.

Popo and Young Link jumped out of the taxi, while Ness used his brain tricks to trip Popo and Young Link over and untie Yoshi's tongue from the steering wheel. Young Link threw a spanner he found on the ground at Ness, knocking him out, but Yoshi quickly caught up and spear-tackled Young Link to the ground.

Peach and Mario
Time remaining: 00:01:26

"That's it, keep on fighting," smiled Mario.

Ness and Yoshi
Time remaining: 01:13

"Hey, we're ahead!" laughed Ness, who three seconds later became frozen by Popo's ice attack of doom.

Yoshi used his laser eye attack (that he will only use ever once just for this occasion) to unfreeze Ness, but Young Link clobbered Ness over the head with a milk carton, making him pass out.

Peach and Mario
Time remaining: 00:56

"I think we still might make it!" cheered Peach, running out.

"No!" screamed Mario.

Young Link and Popo
Time remaining: 00:42

As Young Link was about to make Yoshi swallow two litres of milk, Peach ran up and cheered them to keep on fighting. "Go and fight you guys! Stall for time so we can stay in the race!"

Young Link, Yoshi, Popo and Ness stopped what they were doing.

"You guys haven't checked in yet?" asked Ness, shocked.

"Yeah, we got penalised and can check-in in less than a minute becau-"

Mario ran up and covered Peach's mouth up. "Nothing to see here! You two are really the last teams!"

"He's lying!" screamed Master Hand, "Get here in twenty seconds to help our ratings!"

"NUUUEZ!" said Mario.

Young Link and Popo
Time remaining: 00:15

"Twenty metres to go!" said Young Link, "Sprint!"

"How come when we're near to the finish and it's really close, you always have to point out how much distance is left until the pit stop?" asked Popo, "It's really cheesy!"

Young Link and Popo stepped on the mat, and cheered.

Ness and Yoshi
Time remaining: 00:08

Ness stepped on the pit stop mat. "Come on, you only have eight seconds! Sprint Yoshi, sprint!"

"Tackle him!" said Mario, "Tackle him like he's the body of someone that you really hate!"

"Like you?" asked Peach.

"Sure," said Mario.

Yoshi sprinted towards the finish with only a few metres to go, but after hearing a scream of, 'I hate you Mario!', he was tackled and forced to the ground, centimetres before the pit stop mat.

Master Hand
Time remaining: 00:02

"Use your tongue, Yoshi!" said a desperate Master Hand, "Touch the line with your tongue!"

Mario

"If you don't, me and Peach will stay in the race forever!" cheered Mario.

Lon-Lon Milk Cow

"You can doooooo it!" said the cow, "I mean, you can moooo it, Yoshi! You can moooo it!"

Yoshi

A strong gust of wind blew the two-tonne pit stop into Yoshi, smacking him in the face.

"Yess!" cheered Ness.

"Yay!" cheered Peach.

"Hurrah!" cheered Master Hand.

"Hurrah!" cheered the Lon-Lon milk cow.

"Nuuuez!" cried Mario.

"Nueez!" cried Peach.

"Young Link and Popo, you are team number five! Ness and Yoshi, you are team number six!" said Master Hand. "Peach and Mario… you are the last team to arrive… but fortunately…"

Peach and Mario grinned.

"Very fortunately for you and others…" sighed Master Hand.

Peach and Mario continued to grin.

"You've been eliminated! Forever! Haha! Whoo!" screamed Master Hand. "Yes! YESSS! You so had it coming, you know? Our viewers absolutely hate you! In fact, they voted you off! That's right! We don't even hold any freaking polls, but that's how much they hated you! AND YOU'RE OUT! YOU SUCK! YOU'RE FINISHED! And what's more, no ratings deals for you! You… all… suck! Ha! Take that! Not so funny now, are you? And now we'll get strong ratings again and beat that stupid show with Sonic and the talking stick on channel 5! SUCK!"

Peach and Mario

"I'm sure ratings will crash because we were eliminated," said an angry Mario, "Because we are a valuable asset to this race, this seri-"

The cameraman lost interest, and instead panned on the conga line parties that were forming because of their elimination.

Finish Times:

Bowser and Ganondorf: 9:40 AM
Kirby and Jigglypuff: 9:42 AM
Samus and Falcon: 10:07 AM
Zelda and Donkey Kong: 11:00 AM
Young Link and Popo: 12:39 PM
Ness and Yoshi: 12:40 PM
Peach and Mario: 12:41 PM- Eliminated

Sorry if this chapter was not as entertaining as the last, I'm slightly out of inspiration having not updated this for so long.

Review, feedback is appreciated a lot!