Rukia's POV

I know of your secret, you piece of ungrateful trash.

You disgust me.

You are so pathetic.

They'd see you as a whore!

Is that all you can do, Rukia Kuchiki? Bring shame to the Kuchiki name?

You trash.

Being as weak and pitiful as you are, there are many that can order you around.

You've lied so much already.

You and I both know it would be useless to try and take the exam.

You'd be wasting everyone's time.

You are weak.

You could never make it as a lieutenant.

Make sure to remember that, street rat.

I couldn't sleep last night. I had to read the letter over and over again to process it all.

I laughed at myself. I truly am all those things, aren't I? Whoever wrote this is right. I can't believe I truly thought that Captain Hitsugaya would be able to make me stronger. I was just wasting his time. It's a good thing that whoever wrote the letter gave me it so soon. If I hadn't gotten the letter, I would have ended up wasting other peoples' time. I probably would have even wasted the Captain-Commander's time.

I looked at the letter again.

First, you will cease the training with Captain Hitsugaya. You will make up an excuse as to why you had to stop.

I guess I should go tell Captain Hitsugaya before he comes to get me for training. I don't want him to waste any more time.

"Captain Ukitake," I said, interrupting my Captain's work. I do waste people's time.

"Yes, what is it, Rukia?"

"Um, I need to speak with Captain Hitsugaya. It's urgent that I do."

"Oh? What do you want to talk about with Shiro-chan?" he said, still writing.

I sighed. "I need to talk to him about stopping my training."

He stopped writing and looked at me. "Rukia, has something happened?"

"No, nothing happened. It's just I realized I'm probably just wasting his time. That's all. I'm sure I can figure out how to control my powers on my own."

"Are you sure that's it, Rukia?"

I offered him a fake smile. "Yes. That's all, Captain. I'm sorry I wasted your time."

"What do you—"

"So, may I please go? I want to tell him before he comes over here."

"Um, yes, but—"

"Thank you, Captain," I said as I got up.

I walked out of my squad's barracks and began to walk over to the tenth. I was quite relaxed on my way over, until I realized something. All of these soul reapers around me, one of them could be the one that knows my secret. At the horrid realization, I looked around. I felt like all of their eyes were fixated on me. I gulped.

Anyone of these people could know.

I finally processed the thought. I quickened my pace. I tried to forget about the people around me, surrounding me.

They're surrounding me.

I quickened my pace again. I felt my breathing rate go up, as well as my heart beat. I suddenly felt extremely hot. I felt sweat go down my neck.

I looked around again. I only wanted to make sure no one was looking at me. Through my eyes, it seemed as if everyone was looking at me and only me. My breathing hitched once more. I was panting.

What's wrong with me?

Their eyes were still one me. I couldn't take it anymore. In a futile attempt to "escape," I shut my eyes as tightly as I could and looked down.

I started to walk even faster and faster. I ended up running blindly.

In my desperate attempts to get away from everyone, I didn't realize that I needed to see to run. I ended up crashing into someone.

I was on the ground. I didn't want to look up to see who it was. What if the person that knows saw me running and thought I was trying to do something, like tell? Oh no, that's them. I'm down to two strikes! What if I mess up again?

"Kuchiki, are you alright?" the person asked. I felt their hand come onto my shoulder.

"No! I wasn't going to tell! I was doing what you said! Please don't tell anyone!" I shouted uncontrollably.

"Kuchiki, what are you—"

"I'm sorry. I won't do it again!" I said, accepting the fact that I did something wrong.

"Kuchiki, look at me!" The person was shaking me. I can't disobey them again. They'll tell. I opened my eyes.

"Captain Hitsugaya, is that you?" I asked, my voice shaky.

"Kuchiki, what's the matter with you?"

I flinched. "I'm sorry!"

"What are you talking about?" I didn't reply. "Kuchiki, has something happened?"

I finally looked up. I still feared doing something wrong. "Um, no, nothing happened." Even I didn't believe myself. "I need to talk to you, Sir."

He looked at me skeptically. "What is it?" he asked as he offered me his hand. I looked around before I took it.

"Well, you see," I said as he lifted me up, "I wanted to talk to you about my training."

"What about it?"

"I wanted to tell you that you don't have to waste any more of your time on me," I said clearly so if the blackmailerwas listening, he'd know I followed his instructions. I looked around again. This time, it was instinct.

"Kuchiki—"

"I appreciate that you've already taken some of your time to help me, but you have better things to do. You're too busy and much too important to be helping someone like me."

"What are you say—"

"Sir, I hope you don't see me as ungrateful. I hope you can forgive me for wasting your time."

He was silent. I wonder if he's upset.

"Um, have a nice day, Sir." I turned around to leave but he stopped me.

"Kuchiki, I have some paperwork I need delivered to your captain. Could you come to my office and pick it up. I'd appreciate it."

I looked around once more. I still felt like everyone was watching. But if he were, he'd know that I'm only preforming my duties. I thought it over before I replied, "Yes, Sir."

Despite the fact that I was only doing my job, I still felt paranoid. What if he'd mistake this as a violation of his instructions? No, I won't let that happen. I just can't mess up.

You make it sound easy, rat, said a voice in my head. You make it sound as if you never mess up. How delusional.

What? Is-Is he in my head now? No! That's not possible. I was just imagining it.

"Kuchiki!"

I snapped out of my paranoia and looked at Captain Hitsugaya. "I'm sorry, Sir. I was lost in my thoughts. It won't—"

"Don't worry about it."

For the rest of the walk, I made sure I was exactly ten steps behind him. I made sure my eyes were completely and always averted from every part of him. I even addressed him as "Sir" every time he spoke to me.

When we arrived at him office, I stayed right outside his door. We were not outside anymore, but I still wanted to be careful.

"Kuchiki," he said all of a sudden.

"Yes, Sir, what is it?"

He sighed. "Are you going to come in?"

I stayed silent.

"Am I frightening you or something?"

"What? No, Sir, you aren't. It's just—"

"Then come in," he said, this time his annoyance was obvious. I've made him mad.

Of course you have. It was the voice again. That's all you ever really do. You can only be a burden, a pain. You bother everyone.

I do, don't I?

"Kuchiki, come in."

I looked at the hallway to see who was in it. It was empty. I took a deep breath then stepped into his office.

"I have one last thing I need to look at. Sit. I'll tell you when I'm done."

"Yes, Sir," I said without thinking. I sat and waited as patiently as I could.

What if the person is outside, waiting for me to leave? He'll think I'm up to something if I don't leave soon.

"Sir, I just remembered that I have something very important I need to take care of. If it's all right, may I leave and come back for the paperwork later?"

"No," he replied bluntly.

"Sir, it's quite important that I leave," I explained as I got up. "I—"

"Sit," he demanded.

I did as he said. I hope that the blackmailer doesn't think that I'm telling. If he does, who knows what'll happen.

Please hurry, Captain Hitsugaya! I thought to myself.

"All, right, Kuchiki," he said. I stood up quickly and walked over to his desk. "Here you are." He handed me a stack of papers.

"Is that all?" I asked out of courtesy. In reality, I just wanted to get out of there.

"Yes."

I quickly turned to leave. I was almost out the door when Captain Hitsugaya stopped me. I sighed out of frustration and worry.

"Wait, Kuchiki. I forgot to give you this one. My apologizes." He got up from his chair and walked to me. He put the paper on top of the rest. "Have a nice day, Kuchiki. Be careful."

"Um, yes, of course, Captain," I said slightly confused as to what he meant. I shook my head. I have no time to think about it. I bowed and walked out quickly.

When I was in the hallway, I looked down at the paper he had almost forgotten to give me. I gasped when I realized it wasn't paperwork. It was a note.

You will soon get another note.

I thought back to what Captain Hitsugaya said before I left.

"Be careful."

I'll be keeping a close eye on you.

Is Captain Hitsugaya… the blackmailer?