The Fellowship of Ten Chapter 7 The Council of Elrond...the Furious A/N s: Alright, here I am, its midnight and I'm working on the fic...bleah =P I can't sleep anyhow. This is going to be a long one.... DISCLAIMER: We do not own LOTR charcters or anything that has to do with it and we do not own,...Wal-Mart.Or the song Man I feel like a woman by somebody I can't remember If you don't believe us, then I suggest you meet up with your psychiatrist. Somebody: She's groggy...

Groggy hobbits lifted themselves out of bed, remembered they weren't allowed to attend the council, so they fell back into their feathery pillows and drifted off to sleep once more. All hobbits, expect for two, the tired, drunken, Frodo Baggins and the fresh-as-a-daisy Bilbo Baggins. Frodo dragged himself out of bed and clutched his head.

"Aye, I have a nasty hangover, I think I had a wee too much ale last night." He groaned, shaking his head full of dark brown locks. He changed out of his white bed robe, and into his formal attire for the council.

AT THE COUNCIL...

Everybody met in Elrond's outdoor pavilion, seated around a pedestal. Many of different races such as Elves, dwarves and men were present. All were there for one reason-The Ring.

"Friends of old, and new. We gather here today t discuss the threat of Mordor. I present to you the ring bearer, Frodo Baggins." Elrond said as everything went black and a spotlight fell on the drunken, disheveled Frodo.

"Huh?" Frodo said, lifting his heavy head to see everyone staring at him.

"That's the Ring bearer? Tsk, tsk, Gondor would be a much better master." Muttered Boromir.

"Huh? What do you want from me? Chocolate? Oh I know! You want to know your name's backwards! Ok! Elrond, you are, hmm...Ah! Dnorled! Arwen you're Newra, Boromir, you're Rimorob, Ara-"Frodo was cut off by Elrond just as he was about to say 'Aragorn'.

"ENOUGH!" Yelled Elrond. "Bring forth the ring."

Frodo wobbled his way and placed the ring on the pedestal, then his eyes dilated and he wobbled dangerously.

"Seven days! Seven days!" he said before returning to normal (copyright, the Ring).

Elrond rolled his eyes as Frodo regained his seat. Aragorn and Borromir glared at each other before the two of them pounced on the ring. The ring went flying, their hands outstretched. Aragorn touched it. The ring fell with a clatter back on the pedestal.

"HA! I told you I'd touch it first! You owe me three pints of ale!" Aragorn jeered, as he and Boromir sat once again, and if looks could kill, Aragorn would already be six feet under.

Others: ...--;

"Anyway," Elrond cleared his throat, "Let's get on with the program."

There was a moment of silence after his words.

"Who will take the ring?" an elf sitting next to Legolas whispered.

"Me." Legolas grinned. The elf raised his eyebrows in elegant arches.

"You?"

Legolas seemed taken aback. "what? Why shouldn't i? Then again, I shouldn't be greedy, I'm not a mortal man, we elves are not weak, we would never corrupt to the power of the ring." The elves nodded and glanced towards the elves and men who sent them death glares.

"Why would anyone put the one ring into the care of a nancing, pointy eared, elf princeling?" Gimli spat venomously. "Why not give it to the brave, the dwarves? Never trust as pretty-boy elf!"

A riot came between the two races of dwarves and elves. Elladan became impatient and drew his bow. Gloin was desperately trying to control his party. Legolas attempted but failed miserably at the rage of the elves.

"I would plant an arrow into your head if only you were a little taller!" Elladan growled. (A/N (s): Now doesn't that sound familiar TTT Éomer

"Are you insulting my height, pretty-boy?KYA!" Gimli roared as he pounced on Elldan, who fell over.

"ARGH! MYFACE, MY BEAUTIFUL FACE!" he cried, flailing his arms around wildly, holding a dagger, which wasn't very intelligent on his part.

"MY BEARD! YOU SNIPPED MY BEARD! HOW DARE YOU!" Gimli roared.

"ENOUGH, ENOUGH ENOUGH I SAY!" Elrond yelled, losing his voice.

Everyone calmed down, not wanting to mess with an enraged Elrond.

"That's better." Elrond's raspy voice sighed.

Gimli sniggered, Elladan had a black eye.

"Frodo," Aragorn sighed, "Do you have anything else for us before we settle the final possessor of the ring?"

"Yes," Frodo said as he stood up and did the chicken dance.

"Da,da,da,da,da,da,DA,da,da,da,da,da,da,DA,da,da,da,da,da,da,da, buck, buck, buck!" Frodo sang, flapping his arms under his arm pits

"Anything else, Frodo?" Aragorn sighed.

"Yeah! Aragorn wears pink socks!" Frodo giggled.

"Shut up, you Baggins!" Aragorn roared.

"Arwen wears..." Frodo began slyly, but Arwen wrestled him down and Aragorn threw him in the pond.

"Now Frodo, you shouldn't be saying any of that." Aragorn cautioned, wagging a finger to a drenched Frodo sitting in the pond.

"ANYWAY!" Elrond yelled, as Frodo came out of the pond. "I have already chosen the fellowship, since I can't trust any of you to decide on your own. I used the classic 'eenie meenie mynie moe!' The fellowship is as follows: Aragorn, Boromir, Legolas, Sam, Gandalf, Gimli and of course Frodo."

"WOO HOO!" Cried Sam, who was hiding in the bushes.

"Aw, master Sam wise, you ruined your belated birthday gift from me and the elves." Elrond pouted.

"Oh..." Sam sighed, sinking back into the bushes.

"HEY!" Two voices called from overhead. Everyone looked up expectantly, seeing two flying hobbits. Pippin landed first, followed by Merry.

"We're coming too!" Merry said, striking apose.

"Certainly not!" Elrond argued.

"Yes!" Pippin huffed.

"No."

"Yes." "No"

"Yes."

"No"

"Yes"

"FINE! You may go, but don't expect me to be at your funerals if you were to die.

"Fine, we won't." Merry rolled his eyes.

"NIPPI! YRREM! YOU CAME!" The drunken Frodo called.

"Ohh, hey Odorf!" Pippin jeered, pretending to act as Frodo.

"Okay, now that you know what to do, get your big fellowship BUTTS out of my house NOW!" Elrond yelled.

"But mister Elrond, sir, we don't even know where to go!" Sam whimpered, emerging from the bushes.

"To a boiling lake of Lava! You'll go to Mt. Doom and throw the ring into the fiery chasm! After that....you can go home." Elrond said, with an air of annoyance.

"Its as easy as that?" Pippin asked, stunned.

"In a way."

"WOO HOO! WHERE'S THE HOBBIT WEED? WE can parteeeeeeeee when we're done! Oh yeah Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh I like it!" Frodo sang, belly dancing.

Council: ....

"Uh...Frodo?" Arwen asked cautiously.

"What is it you hot babe?" Frodo drawled, he turned to her and leapt up, planting a kiss on her lips. Aragorn was absolutely furious. He picked up Frodo and threw him on the ground and resumed kissing Arwen himself.

Frodo was strewn on the floor, watching Aragorn passionately kiss Arwen, who seemed pleased. Elrond turned green, Legolas covered his eyes and Gimli and Gloin were rooting for no apparent reason. The hobbits were just lounging and smoking their weed.

"Hey! This is a no-smoking area!" Elrond coughed as the smoke went down his windpipe. He turned to Aragorn and Arwen, "And you two, GET A ROOM!" Elrond stormed out of the solarium and straight to his bedroom.

IN HIS BEDROOM...

Elrond stormed into his bedroom and changed into his teddy bear pajamas. He just wanted to take a nap. Before dozing off to Lala land, Elrond picked up his phone (elves have phones?) and dialed a number.

Ring...ring...ring...

"Hello?" A she-elf's voice picked up the receiver.

"M-M-Mommy!" Elrond wailed.

"What is it, my dear boy?" his mother asked.

"The-The-The council was mean sniffle, sniffle to me! Th-they hic, sniffle had a-a food fight and they sob, hic d-d-destroyed my council. When I said a certain amount of h-h-hobbits could go to Mt. Doom, more of them came and insist-insisted on going!" Elrond wailed even more, the tears coming out in streams.

"What else is it, dearie?"

"Fr-Frodo Baggins, he-he covered me in mashed potatoes and made me into a-a- a-a mashed potatoe man!! Elrond wailed harder.

"Oh, my dearest lovey, booglie bear honey pumpkin, sweetie pie. You know what you should do? Take a nice hot bath and then take a nappy-wappy. Okay, my bundle of joy?"

"Yes Mommy."

"I love you Elrond."

"I love you too Mommy."

"Bye sweetie."

"Bye mommy."

Thanuviel (mother's name...I made it up, ok Amy?) hung up the phone and Elrond heaved a sigh.

"Mom's sure know what to do." He said as he asked his maid to prepare him a bath along with some milk and honey. AFTER HIS BATH....

Elrond slipped under the covers of his bed and pulled his teddy bear under his arm.

"that's right Mr. Fuzz-ee, we'll be alright." Elrond cooed to his bear as he dozed off and hopped onto the dream train.

"Ada?, Ada? Ada, where are you?" Arwen called, almost in tears, "Ada, Aragorn bids us good bye. Ada, don't you care?" Arwen thrust open the door and found hr father fast asleep with his teddy bear. He was muttering in his sleep.

"Hmmm....yes...Aragorn gone, Arwen back to Valinor. Yes..." Elrond muttered happily.

"Ada, how could you?" Arwen cried as she ran off. On her way she ran straight into Frodo.

"Arwen..." he said hungrily ? Arwen backed away and ran, with Frodo chasing her, lips puckered. She spotted Aragorn, he was still there? What for?

"Aragorn!" she cried, "The boy's gone mad!" Arwen said as she leapt into his arms, she kissed, him, but pulled away. "YOU ARE NOT ARAGORN!" she yelled.

"No, Arwen, we're not. Clever disguise eh? Bought it a Wal-Mart in Rohan!" Said Pippin, who was standing on Merry.

"My turn to kiss her!" Merry cried as Arwen fainted on the spot.

"LOOK WHAT YOU DID NIPPIP AND YRREM!" Frodo yelled.

"I hear footsteps, quick, run!" Pippin cried, they then left Arwen and ran to their rooms.

Boromir came walking, whistling the tune of "Man I feel like a woman!" He tripped over the unconscious Arwen and shouted, "She-elves! They think they can sleep anywhere!"

Arwen's eyes fluttered open and she saw Boromir's ugly face.

"AAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!" Arwen screamed.

"AAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!" Boromir screamed.

"AAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!" they both screamed.

Elrond's door banged open and a furious Elrond saw them screaming.

"AAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!" he mimicked.

Boromir and Arwen were stunned, not to mention stunned.

"AAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!" They both screamed

"AAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!" All three screamed.

"Huh?" Aragorn had just walked in. He took a good look before drawing conclusions. "ok...my fiancé, adoptive father and a steward....screaming." he sighed.

"Oh, Aragorn I'm so glad you're here!" Arwen sighed, and moved towards Aragorn.

"Oh no you don't." Elrond stepped on the hem of her robe and made her trip.

"Ow!" Arwen lifted herself from the ground.

"Back off Aragorn, because Arwen is MINE: Frodo piped in.

Elrond saw him and pushed Arwen right back into Aragorn's arms.

"Father...Can I please go with the Fellowship?" Arwen beseeched, giving him the 'Bambi' eyes.

"No, you may NOT. "Elrond replied.

"Good idea, my lord. I'll stay with her and keep her company!" Frodo happily suggested.

Arwen's eyes widened in fear and Aragorn held her close.

"Arwen, you may go. "Elrond replied hastily. He turned away and muttered about how he would not be able to stand the hobbits for another day.

"OH, why isn't it just our lucl?" Arwen giggled as she and Aragorn left.

"And once again...Odorf is rejected." Frodo sighed, shuffling behind.

TBC... I'm tired...this was 7 pages...that's enough for now. We're hoping for a nice...good long review...now I must go sleepy. GOOD NIGHT falls asleep on keyboard