Shopping

A/N: Thank you to everyone who has read and reviewed all of these one-shots.


"You know we should think about baby-proofing this place," Jane told Lisbon as he placed Nicholas on the floor. "Yes, we should, shouldn't we little guy?" Jane asked him with a smile. Nicholas babbled and grinned as he looked up at his father.

"You think he is going to start crawling?" Lisbon asked as she sat on the living room couch.

"Well, he is my son and I started crawling early as did Charlotte," he explained as he took a seat next to her.

"Rather be safe than sorry," she told him as she reached for her laptop that was sitting on the table.

"What are you doing?"

"Ordering the stuff we need," she told him point blank without looking up from the computer. Jane rolled his eyes and shut the laptop closed.

"We can just go to the store and get what we need. Online shopping in so impersonal," he said with a hint of disgust in his voice.

"Just because you can't figure out how to shop online doesn't make it a bad thing," she retorted.

"I can too shop online I just rather go to the store where it is more fun."

"You just enjoy torturing the poor employees with useless questions."

"I do," he nodded in agreement. "Plus Nicholas enjoys our outings. All the ladies love him in that three piece baby suit."

"I swear I will kill Grace for sending that to us, not to mention the little Hawaiian shirt she found."

"I thought you liked that Hawaiian shirt."

"No," she shook her head. "We are in Texas not Hawaii."

"So cowboy's boots and hat would have been more appropriate?"

"God, no."

"Why don't we take Nicholas out and go look at the stores for what we need. It is your day off and it can be an adventure," he suggested as he got to his feet.

"If I say no you are still going to go?"

"Yes, and then I will just buy something you hate just so you will have to suffer looking at it for the next year or more," he said with a brilliant smile.

She just shook her head and rose to her feet. "Let me just grab my shoes and get Nicholas ready."

"I will take Nicholas and get him ready," he offered as he walked over and picked up Nicholas who was sitting on the floor holding his cell-phone. "How did you get my phone buddy?"

"He has your phone?"

"Guess I left it in reach," Jane shrugged his shoulders and took the phone from Nicholas and placed it in his pocket. "No harm done."

"He shouldn't be playing with it," she warned him as she followed him down to the nursery. "Grace mention that Maddie almost brought stuff online using Rigsby's phone when she was about Nicholas's age."

"I highly doubt he bought anything."

"Did you finally learn how to lock your account?"

"Yes, Wylie gave me the tip. I promise that there is no possible way Nicholas could have used my phone to buy anything," he told her as he entered the nursery. "Go get your shoes while I get this little one ready."

"No suit," she warned him. "I don't need all the sales girls drooling over both of you."

"Go," he shooed her away and then place Nicholas onto the changing table. "I say we go with the suit," he winked and Nicholas babbled as he reached for him.


"He is so cute! Look, Cassidy, at his hair and those eyes," the girl told her friend as they cooed over Nicholas.

"And his little grin!" Her friend squealed as Lisbon rolled her eyes.

"Can you maybe see if you have the product for us?"

"Oh," the sales girl stopped and look at Lisbon. "Let me check in back and see if we still have anything," she and her friend walked away leaving Jane and Lisbon at the baby department of the store.

"You just had to put him in that," Lisbon told him angrily.

"Nicholas loves it and he loves all the attention," he replied as he bounced Nicholas up and down on the counter. "Don't you?""

"You are incorrigible," she told as she tried to fight the smile that was gracing her lips.

"Admit it you love it when people fawn over Nicholas. He got the best physical traits that both of us have to offer," he told her as he face Nicholas toward her. "Plus, how can you resist that grin?" Nicholas and Jane both grinned at her and she smiled.

"I can't," she told him as she tickled Nicholas tummy with her hand, he giggled and reached for her. Jane let her take him and Nicholas reached for Lisbon cross.

"Still a mama's boy though," he told her as Lisbon made faces at Nicholas, which had him grinning at her.

"Here you go," the sales girl handed him a small package as she came out the backroom. "Is there anything else?"

"Nope, I think my wife and I are ready to pay for these things," he told her as he pulled out his credit card.


"I can't believe we spent hundreds of dollars in that place," Lisbon told him as they drove back to the cabin.

"Well, we need to make sure the cabin is safe," he reminded her. "And it was more like a thousand."

"What! Jane I was there when you paid and it wasn't a thousand dollars," she exclaimed as he drove.

"I bought a gun safe," he told her as he took their exit towards the cabin.

"I have gun safe," she reminded him.

"These are top of the line ones. Considering you are the poster girl for the NRA I wanted to make sure they were all safely hidden away," he told her as his phone beep. Lisbon reached into the cup holder and grabbed the phone.

"We have a package at the post office," she said confused as she looked at the text message. "Did you pay for overnight shipping?"

"No, plus they promised to bring it to the cabin since it weight a lot," he told her as he made his way to the post office. "Maybe Grace or your brothers sent us something we don't need."

"Maybe," she acknowledged. "We will find out when we get there."

Jane pulled into the post office parking lot, parked the car and headed into the office as Lisbon stayed behind with Nicholas. "I wonder what daddy is picking up."

A few moments later Jane emerged carrying a huge box in both his hands. Lisbon opened the car door and got out. "What is it?"

"No sure but is from the Bass Pro," he told her as she opened the trunk and he placed the box inside. "Want to open it here or wait?"

"Open it," she told him. He nodded and pulled out the small pocketknife and cut the seal tape. "Whoa!"

"You ordered a crossbow!" Lisbon yelled at him.

"Indoor voice," he warned her as he looked at the parts of the crossbow sitting in the box. "I didn't order this."

"Well, it is addressed to you," she told him as she pulled out the slip of paper. "It is your credit information and you spent over five hundreds on it."

"I swear to you I didn't buy this," he said as looked at her.

"Then who Jane?"

"Maybe my account got hacked!" He suggested angrily.

"Let's get Nicholas home and then call the credit card company and double check," she told him as she walked away from him. Jane closed the trunk and went to the driver's side and got in.

"I swear I didn't buy it," he told her as he started the car.


When they made it back to the cabin there was a delivery truck idling. Jane pulled next to it and turned off the car.

"Jane?" The delivery guy as Jane got out of the car. Lisbon also got out and went to get Nicholas out as Jane took care of the situation.

"Yeah?"

"I have a delivery for you," the guy told him. "Sign here."

Jane signed the paper on the clipboard and handed it back to the young man. "Where do you want it, sir?"

"This way," he told him as he showed them where in the cabin he wanted the safe.

"We will bring it in," the guy told him and then waved his partner over to help with moving the safe.

"Thanks," he told them before making his way over to the kitchen. "They are going to set up the safe in the guest room.

"Shh," she held a finger to her lips as she held her phone to her ear. Jane nodded and headed out to the living room to play with Nicholas while the deliverymen brought in the huge safe.

"Try and not to scruff up the flooring," he told them.

"Yes, sir," the guy grunted as the pair made their way to the guest room.

"So what did they say?" He asked as she walked into the living room where Jane was on his knee playing with Nicholas who was in his playpen.

"Are you keeping something from me?"

"What? No, I promised no more secrets," he told her as he got to his feet.

"Then how could you-"she was cut off as the delivery guy and his partner came into the room.

"The safe is in the room and against the wall. The instruction are inside," he told them.

"Thank you."

"No problem," the guy told him as he made his way to the front door. "Wow, killer kayak!"

"What?" Jane exclaimed as he walked over to see what the guy was talking about.

"Is it yours?"

"No!"

"Actually it is," Lisbon told Jane as she crossed her arms.

"Excuse me?"

"You want to tell me why the hell you bought a kayak!"

"Good luck dude," the delivery guy told him as he made a quick exit out of the house. The guy delivering the Kayak peered inside the cabin.

"Jane?"

"Depends," Jane told him as he refused to turn his back and see the look on Lisbon's face.

"He will sign the paperwork," Lisbon told the guy. He nodded and handed the clipboard to Jane. Jane chuckled and signed the paperwork. "Do you guys by a chance sell coffins also?"

"Huh?"

"Never mind. Can you just place it outside for me?"

"Any place particular?"

"No, not really," Jane told him as literally pushed him out the front door and closed it. He took a deep breath and turned around to face Lisbon. "I swear to you I didn't but that thing."

"According to the credit card company it was bought with your card that you only use for special occasions," she told him heatedly.

"See then someone must have hacked it."

"Also according to them it was only used at two stores. The one we visited today and Bass Pro online store. Further she told me that the kayak and crossbow were brought a mere hour after you paid for the safe," she explained to him.

"That isn't possible," Jane said confused.

"No, it is very possible. After you bought the safe what did you do with your phone?"

"I placed it on the floor because Nicholas had started to babble for attention. So I picked him up from the playpen and we sat together placing with his toys," he recalled the entire situation.

"Then?"

"You called and told me you were going to be late for dinner so I went to the kitchen to set the oven to low…oh crap," he said as it dawned on him.

"You left your phone unattended and Nicholas somehow beyond my understanding ordered both items," she told him.

"Uhh, wow. I must admit I am slightly amazed that he manged to do that," he told her shocked.

"So our son not only purchased a kayak but also a crossbow," she told him trying to hold back the laughter.

"Guess Grace was right."

"For future reference we might want to keep him away from our phones," she told him as he walked over to her.

"Sorry," he said apologetically.

"It's fine, we can just return the items I think."

"But I kinda want to keep the kayak," he said as he pointed behind him. "It does look awesome."

"You want the kayak?"

"Yeah."

"Then I keep the crossbow."

"You know what I will see if we can return the items," he nodded in agreement as he reached down to pick up Nicholas. "As for you young man you certainly take after you mother in the violence department."

"Hush!"

The End