AN: Dashed this off really quickly before heading out of town for a long weekend. Amazing what you can get done when you're avoiding packing. I'll wrap it up with an epilogue next week.
Penelope wiggled her hips and reveled in the answering moan of her husband. His arms tightened around her waist and she felt his soft lips on her shoulder.
"Good morning, sweetness," he murmured.
She turned in his arms and kissed him softly. "Hello, my love"
"Mmmmm . . ." Derek said, dropping small kisses all over her face.
"Not that I'm complaining," she said, "but what brought on last night?"
Derek kissed her some more, then sighed. "It was brought to my attention that I'm an idiot."
Penelope stroked his face and giggled. "Oh, do elaborate."
Derek closed his eyes in embarrassment. "Okay, so, well, um, I kinda thought that I wasn't supposed to touch you."
Penelope raised an eyebrow. "And why in the name of all that's holy would you think that?"
Derek squirmed slightly. "Well, I read this book that said that you should treat pregnant women very delicately and you shouldn't let them, um, exert themselves."
Penelope stared at Derek, "Are you KIDDING me? Where did you get this book?"
"When I was in Chicago a few months ago, I asked my mom if she had any advice about pregnancy, and she said that I might get a kick out of a book that she had from when she was pregnant. So, I read it." Derek replied.
Penelope pulled out of his arms and sat up. "Wait, are you telling me that you read some old book that your mom probably told you to look at as a joke and THAT'S why we haven't had sex for four months?"
Derek looked away sheepishly. "Um, yes?"
Penelope turned towards Derek, eyes blazing. Her annoyance rose when his eyes immediately fell to her breasts. "Focus!" she snapped.
"I can't help it," Derek protested. "I haven't let myself look for months! You don't know what I've done!"
"What exactly have you done?" Penelope demanded.
"You know that little 'annoying problem' you and Prentiss were talking about? I was getting up early and taking care of it before you woke up so that I could keep myself under control when I was lying next to you!" he cried.
Penelope didn't know whether to be more annoyed or flattered. She yanked the covers up and tucked them under her arms, covering her chest. Derek frowned.
She ran her hands through her hair and said "Okay, I'm going to get past your abject stupidity and ask how you came to your senses."
Derek sat up next to her and pulled her back into his arms. She resisted for a second, then relaxed against him. He smiled and said "You're actually going to like this." He then proceeded to tell her about his lecture from Hotch, and his subsequent discussion with JJ. By the time that he finished the whole story, Penelope had tears running down her face from laughing so hard.
"I can't imagine Hotch talking about us having sex!" she whooped. "And you and JJ and the chair! Although she might have been serious about that, she told me stories!"
"Hey!" he rolled her onto her side. "Are you trying to scar me for life?"
Penelope giggled. "Serves you right for what you put me through."
Derek looked down at her and said, very seriously, "I am so sorry, baby. I never meant to make you feel like anything but he goddess that you are. I only wanted to keep you and our baby safe."
Penelope stroked his cheek "Oh, honey I know." She grinned impishly. "There isn't much else that would stop you from having sex."
"Damned straight." He flipped over, pulling her on top of him. As Penelope leaned down to kiss him, the clock caught her eye.
"Oh, shit!" she cried, "we are SO late!" She started to get off of Derek, but he held her firmly.
"No worries," he said, "I think Hotch will understand."
Penelope started laughing and began to make love to her husband.
