Zero's car was waiting for him as he made his way to the underground parking lot. He drove out a little faster than necessary. His feet pressed even harder to the gas pedal when the reporters, who had been lurking outside again, started to take pictures of him. They shouted questions too, Zero he couldn't hear them.

He didn't know where he was heading. He just drove. Eventually he stopped in a middle of a residential district. Zero didn't turn off the car, he just stared in front of himself. He was still squeezing the steering wheel so hard that his knuckles had turned white.

"Fuck!" He suddenly yelled to the darkness of the night and hit the wheel with his fist. "Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" He kept on hitting until he felt tears burn his eyes. Zero forced himself to calm down. He took a deep breath and leaned his head to his hands.

Zero knew what would help him. What had helped him when he was a kid and what had helped him when he was a teenager. So he found himself in the middle of the playground, under the jumbo screen. There were only dim lighting and he couldn't see the stand from there. Zero tossed his jacket to the side of the court. His eyes fixated on a lonely basketball on the floor. He picked it up and swirled it in his hands. He targeted to the basket and threw. The ball sank easily. He fetched it and bounced the ball against the floor a few times. He threw it again, and again, and again, and again. After twenty, or so, successful throws, Zero lifted the ball as high as he was able to and threw it to the floor with all his strength. The ball bounced off with a loud bang and flew with a high arch to the stand. He left it there.


The next morning Zero parked his car in front of the hospital, but he didn't get out. Throughout the morning, he had been going over the doctor's words. Gideon in him, wanted to get up there and be by Jude's side but Zero… Zero screamed inside his head to run. With every passing minute he felt his throat tighten and his stomach twist. Eventually he turned the car key and drove away.

He drove to an expensive neighborhood and stopped in front of a large house. The gates were closed but Zero knew how to get through. Not so long ago he had walked down this road with Jude by his side. Even back then he had wanted to reach out and take Jude's hand on his, but his insecurities had stopped him. He regretted it now.


Oscar Kinkade couldn't hide the surprise from his face as Zero strolled in. He looked behind the player to see if the security guard was following him but he was nowhere to be seen.

"Zero! I didn't expect to see you here." Oscar leaned back in his chair and tried to figure out the fastest way to escape if the situation erupted.

Zero didn't say anything and just sat down to the other side of the desk. He looked around the room and closed his eyes for a minute. "Look, Oscar, lets cut the crap and get straight to the point: things have gone to shit after you left at the arena and I think…" Zero grinned. "…I think that it's time for Kinkade's to step up again."

Oscar lifted his eyebrows and for a moment just stared at him. "What exactly do you mean?" He visibly relaxed and leaned towards Zero.

"I mean that Jelena has no idea how to run things and because our history…" Zero made a pained face. "…she want to trade me out and I'm not gonna have that."

"Really?" Oscar frowned and drummed the table with his hand. "It seems to me that you're only trying to get me to trust you. I don't kid myself and think that no one blames me for what happened to Jude." He locked his gaze at Zero, desperately wanting to see his reaction to his statement.

Zero just laughed smugly and nodded. "Let me be straight with you." He looked back at Oscar. "I really don't think you have anything to do with Jude's shooting and I don't really care who did it. However there's a little but…"

"Yes?" Oscar's stare was like no others. He could really get under your skin and as most people looked away after just a few seconds, Zero didn't.

"Now I'm the main suspect for shooting him." Zero sneered and rub his hands together. "I don't know if I should tell you this, since you're his father and all…"

"Go ahead." Oscar said way too quickly.

"From the moment I first met Jude, I realized he would do anything for me. That's why I came to L.A. and that's why I… kept close distance with him. He got me far and I wanted to see how far he could get me. Now it seems... he's not able to get me any further. So I sat down and thought to myself: who could help me with the situation with Jelena and I knew you're the only man to the job." Zero finished his speech with a hard stare at Oscar. The man was impossible to read but slowly a smile spread into his face.

"So I presume that you have some kind of idea of what to do with her?" Oscar was testing him, wanting to know exactly what Zero was made of.

"Of course I do." Zero answered right away.


After meeting with Oscar, Zero went back to the arena for practice. It lasted for three hours, but he stayed after that and continued till the evening. After he took a quick shower, he headed towards Jelena's office.

He couldn't help but notice that the name Kinkade still stood on the door. Zero smiled. He was just about to get in when the door was opened and Jelena almost ran into him. She quickly stepped back when she recognized him.

"What do you want?" Jelena asked with a bitter voice. She looked around to see if anyone else was around.

"Just dropped by to tell you that the Kinkade's aren't out of the game yet." Zero bended his knees a little so he could look better at Jelena's reaction.

"So your boyfriend is recovering? So what? He's no threat to me." Jelena slammed the door shut behind her and she pushed past Zero and started to walk away.

"I wasn't talking about Jude!" Zero shouted after her and smiled when he noticed that her pace had slowed down. "I just had a little chat with Oscar."

Jelena didn't stop or turn around but Zero could see her whole body tense before she quickly carried on.

"But since you mentioned Jude: he's the main owner of the Devil girls now!" Zero grinned when Jelena turned around and he swore her face would be pale as ash if it wasn't for the make-up that covered it. "You still think he's no threat to you?"

Jelena opened her mouth to say something but instead turned around and almost ran around the corner.

"I hope you know what you got yourself into!" Zero yelled after her. "You've lost your only ally in the whole world." Zero referred to Terrance. Jude had once pointed out that Jelena made a big mistake by stabbing him to the back and Zero couldn't have agreed more.

The game, which had been cut off from the middle at the day of the shooting, was supposed to be held again the next day. So it was only natural for all of the players to spend the day in the arena and Zero didn't stood out from the others. Pete asked about his wellbeing, which he had done yesterday in practise too and it was really starting to piss Zero off. Yes, he probably looked more tired than the others, but it didn't mean that he couldn't do his job. Still, much to Zero's disappointment, Pete decided to put him on bench for the first round. He had protested but it had gone to deaf ears. Zero hated to be on the bench. He had too much time to think and he didn't want to think. As the second half time came Zero quickly caught up with Pete before he could get into the locker rooms.

"Let me play." He demanded right away and Pete just shook his head.

"You look like shit, Zero. You've been working like a maniac for the last two days. I won't let you go out there and ruin the game. We need to win!" Pete pointed a demanding finger at him. He was about to keep on walking but Zero took hold of his arm.

"Please, I need to play!" Zero didn't plead. He never pled but right at the moment he couldn't think straight. "I won't ruin anything. I just want to play."

Pete gave him a hard look but soon sighed and shrugged. "Okay, fine. But I'll take you off immediately if you seem out of it."

"You won't have to." Zero said even though the coach was half way through the door already. And Zero had been right: Pete didn't have to take him out. He had played like never before, scoring after another. The fans were going wild as they were one game closer to the finals.


Later that night the Devil's celebrated their victory and upcoming finals. At the same time was also Derek and Ahsha's engagement party. Zero had decided to skip it all but then he had realized it was his opportunity to prove that he was doing fine. So he went home, took a long shower and changed to a clean clothes. He tried to remember a last time he was in a party without Jude, but couldn't recall.

The music was playing loud as Zero walked in, fashionably late but no one seemed to notice. He strolled around for a bit, faked polite around Derek and Ahsha and congratulated them even though they could see right through him. At these time he truly noticed that he had no friends, expect for Jude. Sure, many dancers and even players were friendly at him, but he didn't care about them, not even the slightest.

Zero ended up to the bar and he drank. A lot. He had started innocently enough, with a beer, slowly drinking it. Then someone had offered him a shot and he had taken it, still not feeling any different. After that he had decided to drink something stronger but he felt even worst when he noticed the table where he and Jude had talked only few months before. So he drank a little more and soon lost count.

It was Lionel who came to shake him up when he had half passed out to the counter. "Zero! Zero, wake up!"

"Get lost." Zero growled and tried to push her away but almost fell from the barstool when he missed.

"I hope you haven't unraveled your darkest secrets to everyone." Lionel half joked and pulled Zero to his feet. "Come on! Let's go home."

"Home's were Jude is." Zero mumbled and Lionel had a hard time to hear what he said. She had to use all her strength to keep him upwards.

"Sorry, I can't take you to him when you're at this state. The nurses would kick you to a stomach lavage in a second." Lionel knew Zero wasn't listening to what she was saying but it didn't matter. The exit didn't seem to get any closer and Zero was getting heavier by the minute.

"Let me help." Pete came to Zero's other side and took his hand around his shoulder.

"Thanks." Lionel said and the journey didn't seem so long anymore.

"Anytime." Pete smiled as they now almost dragged Zero onwards.

Near the exit Zero suddenly looked up. "Hey, this's where I had sex with Jude…" He pointed towards the closet with the hand which was over Pete's shoulder.

"Okay, too much information." Pete quickly took hold of Zero's swaying hand and pushed them forward.

"I would've liked to visit there…" Zero pouted as they dragged him outside. "Maybe Jude would've been there."

"Make sure he never drinks again." Lionel huffed to Pete as they finally got Zero to her car.

"I'll try to." Pete answered. He looked at Zero who was now staring at the car with a frown on his face, like he didn't quite know where he was sitting. "Are you going to be okay with him?"

"Hey, this isn't Jude's car!" Zero suddenly yelled and tried to get up. Thankfully the seatbelts stopped him. "Where's Jude?"

"Yeah, I've dealt with worse." Lionel gave Pete a sad smile before she walked to the driver's side. "Hands off the wheel!" She slapped Zero's arms as he tried to reach for the steering wheel.

Pete watched worriedly as they drove off. If the situation would continue at the same rate, Zero would not be able to play in the finals.


Zero woke up to the worst hangover he had ever had. His head felt like it was going to explode and he almost fainted when he stood up from the bed. He took support from the wall, kicking something over in his way to the bathroom. Amazingly, he managed to throw up into the toilet.

Zero sighed and wiped the vomit from his beard. He fumbled to the sink and caught his reflection on the mirror: his skin was pale, he had dark circles around his eyes and his beard had grown a little too much for his liking.

"When was the last time you ate?"

Zero startled when he heard Lionel's voice from the bathroom door. "What are you doing here?" He opened the tap and splashed cold water over his face and neck.

"I brought you here last night. You were just a tiny bit drunk at the party." Zero hated her sarcastic voice.

It took him a moment to even remember what she was talking about. The last thing he remembered was the third shot and then it was all black.

"Could you answer to my question?" Lionel interrupted his reminiscence.

"What?" Zero looked up at her.

"The fridge is empty… or more like full of spoiled food. When did you eat last time?" She threw a fresh towel at him. "Take a shower."

"I can't remember." Zero finally answered after his brains had processed her question. He really couldn't remember what he had eaten and when. "It doesn't matter."

"Of course it does! You can't play without food." Lionel crossed her arms around her chest.

Zero just shrugged. He looked at the towel and then at Lionel. "Can I get some privacy?"

Lionel rolled her eyes. "I thought you don't mind women staring at your body." She said before she was able to stop herself. Dragging old things from the past wasn't her intention.

"What did you say?" Zero raised his voice but he immediately regretted it when his head started to pound.

"Nothing. It was uncalled from me." Lionel apologized and it actually sounded like she meant it. "I'm just a little mad that's all. I'll get you to breakfast when you're done."

Zero just shook his head and was about to start undressing as Lionel turned her back on him, but stopped when she spoke out.

"Why haven't you visited him?" Lionel looked at him a little too accusing for Zero's taste.

"That's no concern of yours." He looked around to have something else to concentrate on than her.

"I think it is. You remember what I told you back at your out coming party?" Lionel crossed her arms around her chest and tried to stare Zero down, but Zero had none of it.

"Are you accusing me of something? Because I have done nothing to hurt Jude." Zero didn't want the anger to show in his voice but he couldn't keep it down.

"I trusted you would protect him!" Lionel seemed to be at the same state as Zero since she almost yelled the words. "Instead you let Jude run around Oscar's apartment, making threats to him."

Zero pressed his lips together and said nothing. Instead he grabbed the towel and walked past Lionel towards the bedroom.

Lionel saw that Zero was angry, but then a thought accured to her. "You're not angry at yourself or to me, you're angry at him." Her statement made Zero freeze to his tracks.

Zero tried to will his legs to move forward but all the emotions kept running through his mind and his body refused to co-operate with him.

"Why?" Lionel asked then, again with the accusing voice.

"Because he didn't have to!" Zero hadn't meant to yell. "Why did he have to cross Oscar? He knew what the man was capable of! He could've just let it be! We could've just been. So yes! I'm angry at him!" He hadn't meant to tell that to Lionel. Hell, he hadn't even thought about it himself before, but the moment he said it, he knew it was true. They were talking about Jude after all.

Zero glanced at Lionel. All the emotions were there for her to see and Zero hated it. So he quickly turned around and slammed the bedroom door shut.


Zero poked the baked egg around the plate with his fork. Lionel watched the motion with a frown.

"Just eat it." She eventually ordered and Zero glared at her.

"If you didn't know: hangover and egg breakfast doesn't fit together." He still poked the fork through the egg and ate it. The taste made him want to puke but he managed to keep it down.

"Did you know why I came to see you to the engagement party?" Lionel then asked and took a sip from her coffee.

"No, why?" Zero didn't sound at least bit of interested.

"The police became to look for Oscar last night." She said and smiled when Zero's eyes shot up at her. "They found Jude's blood on the shirt I gave them. They were going to arrest him."

"Damn." Zero leaned back in his chair and looked outside. It was sunny, he hoped he had his sunglasses with him. "So how did Oscar react?" He then asked and turned to look at Lionel again.

Her smile faded and she put the empty coffee mug to the table. "That's the down part on this. He's nowhere to be found. He didn't come home last night."

"So he's on a run?" Zero felt nervous all of a sudden. "Is someone with Jude?" Lionel looked up at him and he suddenly felt exposed, like his walls had gone down for a moment and he quickly collected them.

"There's the police officer but I think his dumber than he looks so Ahsha and Derek are visiting him right now. I asked them a little favor and to stay with him until I get back." She hated to do that, but for Jude she was willing to make an exception. Lionel studied Zero for a while before concentrating on her nails. "Do you have any place I could stay in?" She then whispered so Zero almost missed it. She then leaned forward so no one else could hear them. "I'm afraid to sleep in Oscar's house. That's why I stayed at your place last night. He definitely knows that I took the shirt since he's avoiding the police. I feel like I'm being watched…" Lionel looked around as if she could catch someone looking at them.

Zero looked around too but no one seemed to pay them any attention, everyone else concentrated on their breakfasts. But he understood where she was coming from. Oscar wasn't a man who should be taken lightly. "I know a place. If you have everything you need with you, I can take you there." A relieved smiled spread on Lionel's face. "But I should warn you: it's not very cozy."

"As long as it's somewhere where Oscar doesn't think to look." Lionel smiled but her smile faded soon…

"This is it?" She looked around the place, visibly horrified.

"This is it." Zero walked further inside and leaned against the couch. "I know it's a dump but I'm pretty sure this is the last place Oscar's going to look for you."

Lionel tiptoed inside, keeping her purse close to her body as if someone could jump at her from any direction. "But it's a…" She didn't find words to describe how horrible the apartment was. "No one's been living here in years." The floor was covered in dust and windows were so dirty you could hardly see through them. "And what are these?" Lionel stopped and gaped at a huge whole on the wall.

"That's umm… demolition in progress." Zero said and looked towards the sledgehammer which leaned against the wall.

"Did you say you and Jude bought this place?" If the situation had been anything else, Zero would've laughed at her expression.

"Actually we bought the whole building. Renovate it, you know." Zero saw that she didn't know.

Eventually Lionel stayed, reluctantly of course but since hotels and Jude's place were not an option, she had no other choice until they could find her some kind of rental apartment.


"The visiting hours are over."

"Can't I just pop by? Just for a second?" Zero felt like slamming his fist to the counter but managed to control himself. The receptionist just shook his head and apologized. "But the doctor said…"

"The doctor hasn't wrote down anything in particular for that matter."

Zero felt like his head was about to explode and he finally slammed the counter with one hand, making the receptionist jump in his chair. Zero went back outside and took a deep breath. He knew going in from the main entrance was a mistake. The idiot didn't let him pass to the ward, but all the other doors had been locked already.

Zero cursed to himself. His whole body was aching for the lack of one person he missed the most. He looked around and was just about deciding to climb to the roof and try his luck that way, when he noticed an ambulance a short distance away. He looked around if anyone was watching before walking swiftly towards it. The paramedics were just wheeling the delirious patient through the door and Zero sneaked in behind them. As he had guessed, no one paid him any attention. The paramedics kept on going and soon a nurse and a doctor joined them to ask some questions. Zero followed them for a little while before noticing a door leading to a staircase. He quickly slipped in and let the door shut behind him.

The room was dark when Zero entered it. He didn't even look for a light switch as he didn't want to cause unnecessary attention. Zero slowly walked towards the furthest bed. There were one other patient in the room, but he didn't pay the man any attention.

For a moment Zero just watched Jude as he slept. He was breathing with the support of the respirator but still Zero could hear how difficult it was: with every exhalation there was agonizing rasping sound.

"Hi." Zero whispered and took Jude's hand on his. He hadn't talked with Jude since he had passed out on him in the car. He had tried once when he had been alone with him, but it hadn't felt right. Lionel did it all the time, but to Zero it had felt stupid and meaningless, Jude couldn't hear him anyway, right?

Now things were different. Zero hadn't visited Jude for two days and the man he loved was giving up and there was nothing he could do about it, except talk. "I'm sorry I haven't been able to visit you. Been busy, you know?" His own voice sounded hoarse and strange. He took a moment to swallow and gather his thoughts. "Please, don't leave me, Jude." Zero's voice broke but he quickly gathered himself. He took a deep breath and wiped his eyes into the sleeve of his hoodie. He sniffled and the sound seemed awfully loud in the silent room.

For a while Zero just played with Jude's hand. At one point he almost swore that he had felt Jude's fingers twist but the feeling was gone in a second. Zero stood there through most of the night. When there were only three hours until the practice started, he reluctantly left.

Zero didn't want to go home to an empty apartment. There were nothing for him there and driving calmed his mind. So he drove for the next hour. After that his eyes started to feel heavy and he went to the arena a little earlier than usual. He had time to practice just fine before the others came.