--1938--
Years passed by with little to no problems. Rosalie came out more after we moved to New Hampshire, spending more time with the family. I think New York reminded her of everything she lost. We shared a room, mostly because she felt comfortable with me and needed someone to hold her. She was a quite controlled vampire even though she didn't want to be one. After she got revenge on her attackers it only proved it more. She was much happier after that. She would go hunting alone and come back with light in her eyes. She loved the beauty of nature. The diversity of life is astounding she had told me.
One day she came back home with something else in her eyes and..her arms were quite full. She held a huge man with blood pouring from gashes on his arms and chest. His brown hair was matted with congealed blood and his blue eyes screamed pain. The look in Rose's eyes was unmistakable. It was not the thirst that I would have wished to be there but a frantic need. She needed to save him. "Carlisle! Save him please! You have to save him," she screeched. Carlisle rushed down swiftly and ushered her to his makeshift operating room. Leaving me dumbfounded.
I stood like a statue in the foyer looking at the blood on the mahogany floor. I pursed my lips. Esme sure knew how to make a home, I mused.
She and Edward were nowhere to be found. I guess he warned her when he heard Rosalie thoughts.
He had no need to warn me. My blood lust was shackled long ago, in a time much simpler than this.
I squatted down and glared at the liquid magenta like it had insulted me. I extended my arm and poked it with a finger. I examined it closely. What made this man so important, I mused. Was it his blood or his huge frame? Maybe it was the fact that he is a man and I am not. Rosalie and I had been intimate, yes. But I had develeped feelings for her long ago. In a time where her skin flushed with blood at any lude comment I made. When her warmth bled into my skin.
Those times were much simpler.
Heat rolled up my body and I clenched my fists. I knew she was not my mate and yet I allowed feelings. I shook my head.
Feelings are the one thing that can kill the dead.
Rosalie's frantic voice could still be heard upstairs. She fired off questions at Carlisle with a fiery determination. Would he turn? Was that enough venom? Why isn't he screaming? I rolled my eyes and stood up, quickly wiping the blood from my finger.
"I guess I should dispose of the blood before they get back," I murmured.
The blood smeared as I wiped it with a towel, taunting me. I poured bleach on the floor and reveled in the sharp sting it gave my nostrils. This was much better.
I stood up slowly and turned to go outside and burn the towel.
I threw it on the ground and stared at it. It burst into flames seconds later. I reveled in it.
This felt like a funeral. The small fire, a symbol for the severing of my bond with Rosalie Hale. Her mate's screams and her soothing words echoed in my ears. They painted everything gray and black. Adding brown and blue to make the occasion more painful.
What a world this is.
I growled quietly planning to take my leave before he awoke as a vampire. Now that Rosalie had found her mate she wouldn't need me anymore. I didn't know whether to be happy or vexed by this. I decided on both.
But where would I go? I didn't have an answer. I was already in hell anyway. I could feel the fire in my chest building with ferocity as I stared at the treeline. I wanted to burn something. Anything.
I ran into the forrest at top speed. Animals scurried away as I growled, knocking down trees with my mind. The Phoenix inside me was bending the bars of her cage.
For so long I have kept a tight shackle on her. I have scolded her and wished her away.
Today I beckoned her forth and begged her to become one with me. I wanted to see the world burn at my feet.
I never understood just why she chose to tie herself to my soul. Why did this being chose my consciousness to hold this power? Now I know why.
As I come to the middle of a clearing I fall to my knees. I can feel it coming. I can feel her power. Let go, she whispers.
I do exactly that.
I can feel my eyes become overcast with blackness. I know there is no white in sight.
The pressure inside boils over and releases.
Suddenly, everything is slow motion. I can see birds trying to fly away. Butterflies flapping their wings. And then carnage.
Trees rip from their roots violently and then disintegrate. The grass burns brightly and I just stay there on my knees smiling. As the Phoenix takes over my mind and becomes one I laugh maniacally. One would assume I was insane.
I understand why she chose me. Not just anyone could have handled all of the lives I have lived. All of the pain and torture. Not many would have escaped with their sanity intact.
I feel better than I have in thousands of years. No control. No Rosalie. Just the flames of hell warming my flesh.
Why did I fight her?
Why not burn?
