BJames: Thank you so much for the kind reviews you leave! The latest one actually brought me to tears as I was reading it. I appreciate the support, and I love your ideas! They are very helpful whenever I get stuck on how to continue, so thank you once again.
There's a small jump to the next day at the beginning, but I hope you all enjoy this chapter!
Alex glanced at the clock, trying to judge what time was appropriate for someone to begin getting ready for dinner with a friend. A totally and completely platonic friend.
A friend you used to screw on an almost daily basis.
She immediately went to her kitchen after that particular thought decided to enter her head, pouring a glass of wine and downing it. She wasn't sure what was going to come from Erin's actions the previous day, but what she did know was that she wasn't angry anymore.
It wasn't just the obvious possibility of the blonde losing her job, it was everything else. They'd been doing well, not referencing Amerithrax very often, and Alex had felt her anger dissipating more and more with every moment spent with the other woman. It hadn't taken very long for the brunette to realize just how much she really had missed spending time with Erin. They generally never ran out of things to talk about, and every conversation was riveting, sometimes even turning into friendly debates that she greatly enjoyed.
But letting go of the anger was dangerous. It made more room for feelings she had never quite managed to keep locked in their cage. Feelings that were getting stronger and stronger every day no matter how hard she tried to push them back into their cage.
But that was a problem for another day. Right now, she had finally deemed it an appropriate time to start getting ready without having to acknowledge the excitement growing within her. She went into her closet, searching through outfit after outfit trying to figure out what was the right thing to wear for a semi-formal dinner out with a...whatever. Eventually, however, she chose a simple red dress that was a good mix of modest and provocative. She did her hair in a simple updo and applied some light makeup. She began to look herself over in the mirror but startled when she heard the door open and close downstairs.
James wasn't supposed to be home for another week at the least, and no one else had a key to the house. She sprinted across the room as quietly as possible and snatched her gun from under her pillow, checking to make sure the safety was off. She quickly slipped into the bathroom, closing the door until it was open only a crack, and then waited to hear footsteps coming up the stairs.
The door to the bedroom creaked open, and she heard heavy footsteps moving throughout her bedroom. She took a deep breath and then opened the bathroom door, aiming her gun at the intruder.
"You have ten seconds to get out of my damn house before I put a bullet in your ass." she growled, placing her finger on the trigger.
"Alex?"
"James?" the brunette asked incredulously. Her husband turned around to face her, confusion written all over his face.
"What the hell?" he said. She shook her head, lowering the gun.
"Damn it James. I thought you were a burglar or something." she sighed, walking over to the bed and shoving her gun back under her pillow. "I wasn't expecting you home for another week or so."
"We finished early, and I wanted to surprise you." James replied, running a hand through his hair. "A gun in my face wasn't quite the reaction I expected." His wife sighed again, reaching up as if to run her hands through her own hair but then remembering the fact that she had it up.
"Well you definitely surprised me." she said. He laughed at that before moving forward and wrapping his arms around her. Her own arms came up to encircle him as well, blowing out a silent breath as she did so. She felt incredibly guilty about her thoughts prior to his return home, but she couldn't help it. Erin was a very, very difficult woman to forget.
"I missed you." her husband murmured, leaning in and pressing his lips to hers. She closed her eyes, as more of an instinct than an actual reaction, and promptly began to panic internally when she realized that she didn't feel anything anymore. His kiss didn't ignite a fire or even a spark within her, and she found her mind wandering, something it had never done when James kissed her before.
Their marriage was anything but traditional. They had met through her father after an open and shut case the man had solved, in which James had been a witness. He was twenty four. Alex had been sixteen at the time with no desire for a relationship. But her father had apparently deemed the older man an appropriate match for his teenage daughter. Scott had approved immediately upon spending a day with the man. But that hadn't phased Alex. She had ignored her family's obvious attempts at setting her up and had focused on her studying. She was taking several language classes both at her high school and at a local college. She didn't have time for romance with some man she had never seen before.
It was only when Danny had sat her down and asked her to consider at least giving the man a chance that she had relented. She'd always been closest to Danny, and as a teenager she would've done nearly anything he asked. Even date a man eight years older than her.
And so, her relationship with James began. He was polite, he was kind, and he was charming. But he wasn't what she wanted. Even as a teenager she had known that she didn't like boys as much as other girls. She admired several of the boys at the college she attended for lectures, but she also had great interest in many of the girls in her classes. Her parents were devout Catholics, so she'd never let herself dwell on those kinds of thoughts, but she knew. She knew she was different.
Nevertheless, she tried to make herself interested in James. She went out with him whenever he asked unless she had school or schoolwork. She spoke to him on the phone when he called. She responded when he kissed her.
By the time she graduated, he had proclaimed his love for her. She was intelligent far beyond her years, but the declaration had left her so speechless that the only response she could come up with had been a reciprocation. She'd been terrified at the look of joy on his face as he kissed her and had only managed to breathe slightly easier once she'd left to attend Berkeley University. She rarely saw James. He had decided to go back to school for a degree in humanitarian aid, so visits were few and far between, and the two instead spoke occasionally on the phone. But even those calls were short, not very riveting, and limited to between classes. Most of them were simple questions of how the other was doing with sentiments of luck before exams.
She spent four years seeing her "boyfriend" only during holidays when she went home. That is, until she got the call from Danny telling her that their mother was dead. She had immediately dropped all of her work and caught a plane home. Scott had called James and asked if would be able to come back to help console her, something she honestly didn't appreciate. She didn't want to pretend for them while trying to grieve her mother. She'd pushed him away, ignoring the hurt she saw on his face every time she did it.
Things only got worse after the funeral. He'd proposed to her a few days after they'd buried Anna, the day Alex had been set to go back to her college, and the young woman had blown up, yelling and screaming at him until her throat was sore. She told him she'd only gone out with him to get the boys off her back and that she just wanted to be left alone. Then she'd turned her fury on her family, screaming that she wished they'd stay out of her life and her business. She'd fled her father's house and flown back to California without saying another word to any of them.
Danny had been the one to call and talk her down. She'd cried to him over the phone for hours, relaying how much she was hurting from Anna's death and that she hadn't meant to get so upset at the house. He begged her to speak to Damon, Scott, and James, and true to her nature, she did as her brother asked. She'd lied and said she hadn't meant any of what she'd said and that she was just aiming to hurt because she was hurt.
She'd accepted James's proposal two days later. They remained engaged while she enrolled in the FBI training academy. It was then that she met Erin. The blonde was four years older and helping train the potential new recruits. Alex had been instantly drawn to the other for reasons she refused to acknowledge. She'd spent the first couple of weeks just trying to get to know her, and by the time she had graduated the academy, they were best friends. The blonde had been an exceptional agent, recruited at the age of twenty four. She'd apparently been doing an exceptional job as well because she was already set to be Unit Chief of the behavioral analysis unit when Alex first arrived. After graduating at only twenty four as well, the brunette had found out that the FBI Headquarters in D.C. had seen her records and requested her specifically for the BAU.
She managed to postpone her actual wedding for another two years as she started her career in the FBI with Erin by her side. But as usual, her family had to insert themselves into her personal life, and Damon called her asking why she continued to make James wait to get married. She said she was busy with work, and he'd told her she needed to make time for her fiance. She hung up on him mid-sentence.
Scott had been the next to call, asking what was going on between her and Damon and her and James. She'd started getting more and more irritated during that call, telling him in some not so polite terms to mind his own business.
And then of course, they'd sent Danny after her, metaphorically speaking. He was patient as she ranted and raved about people interfering in her life and then had calmly asked her to just tell James why she wanted to wait. She couldn't identify a valid reason in her mind that wouldn't involve telling them all that she really had meant what she'd said after Anna's funeral, and so her wedding date was set for two weeks after Danny's call.
It was a modest affair in the church Anna's funeral had taken place in, and she had asked Erin to be her maid of honor. She was married within the space of three hours. The honeymoon lasted only a few days, and she was back to work where Erin announced her own engagement. Alex refused to acknowledge the disappointment the news brought and congratulated the blonde.
Erin's wedding to her fiance Alan took place a few months later with Alex as the matron of honor. The blonde's honeymoon had lasted longer than Alex's, but when she came, Erin seemed happier to see her than she had to see her husband on their wedding day. The blonde was promoted to Unit Chief within the first two weeks after her return.
The team worked well together with Erin as Unit Chief for about eight years. Alex was named a Supervisory Special Agent at thirty four after playing a major role in solving the Unabomber case. It was after that case that Erin was once again promoted, this time to Section Chief. Four years later, Alex was shot during the apprehension of a suspect and put in the hospital for a week. James had long since joined Doctors Without Borders and hadn't heard about the shooting in time to make it home from overseas.
Erin, however, was at her side for the majority of her time in the hospital, namely during the first three days when she was unconscious. The blonde had rambled in worry as soon as the linguist awoke, silenced only when Alex impulsively kissed her. The brunette had looked at the other woman in shock, opening her mouth to apologize, but Erin hadn't given her the chance as she initiated another, longer, kiss.
Their relationship lasted eleven months. Things were tense during the Amerithrax case, with agents working double time trying to catch the UNSUB. She and Erin had very little time to spend together, and when they were alone together, they were both more focused on work than each other. It was only when the two were working to decipher some of the documents found by the team that a suspect was identified. Erin wanted him arrested immediately, Alex had her doubts, which she tried to express to the blonde. It seemed open and shut by that point, but the motives made no sense, nor did the supposed opportunity. But Erin had insisted, going so far as to play the rank card, which led to a fight and subsequently, an order sent to the other members of the team at the time to arrest the man.
It was only after the arrest that both women realized they had misread the documents during their investigation. The higher ups assumed Alex had gone over them alone, being the linguists expert that she was, and Erin didn't correct them. Alex thought about doing so herself but came to the conclusion that it would only be perceived as trying to save herself from consequence. She was demoted, along with several other agents involved, in front of the entire unit, including her blonde lover. She was ordered to pack up her belongings and turn her badge and gun in by the end of the week.
After that she went to great lengths not to be alone with Erin, professionally or otherwise. It was only when her final day in the unit arrived that she made the decision to visit the other woman. She knew for a fact that Alan and his and Erin's children were away on a retreat of some sort, so she went to the house she knew quite well and banged on the front door, intent on letting the blonde know just how angry she really was.
They started out with a lot of screaming at one another, a fight worse than any fight they'd ever had before. Alex said words she'd never dreamed of saying to anyone, let alone to her. They ended up angrily falling into bed together, followed by Alex's declaration that she would never forgive the blonde. She got dressed, threw her badge and gun onto her now ex-lover's bedside table, and stormed out of the house, slamming the door behind her.
She hadn't seen the other woman again until her return to the BAU.
"Honey?" James's voice finally brought her back from the trip down memory lane, and she looked at him in confusion.
"Huh?" she asked.
"I asked why you're so dressed up." her husband repeated, his brow furrowed in worry.
"Oh. I'm sorry, I got a little lost in my thoughts. I was going out to dinner with a friend." she answered, shaking her head slightly. "But I'll call and cancel."
"No, no, it's okay honey. You were right last time I came home. You shouldn't have to drop everything just because I came home." her husband denied, cupping her face and kissing her forehead. "You go on and have fun. Which friend are you meeting?" The brunette winced, knowing he wasn't going to like this. She had told him all about what Erin had done to her back then, obviously leaving out their affair, and he hadn't taken it any better than she had.
"Erin..." she muttered, hating the look in his eyes at the mention of the blonde.
"Erin? As in Erin Strauss? The bitch that got you demoted?" James scowled.
"Hey!" she said sharply. "That is unnecessary."
"Well it's true Alex! She let you take the blame for something that was her fault, and you got demoted because of it. Do you not remember everything you said about her? Is all of that just over now?"
"Yes! For God's sake James, I have been miserable because I've been holding onto my anger towards her. Letting it go has made it so much easier to breathe every day because I don't have to put in effort to avoid her or glare at her every time I see her." It wasn't a complete lie. The anger was gone, and it did make her life easier. But her misery remained in a corner of her mind no matter how hard she tried to ignore it, and it had nothing to do with a demotion. "You liked her before. Just give her another chance."
Take your own advice. The voice that she had come to associate with her heart whispered, though she pushed that thought away as soon as it appeared. There was no way she could get involved with Erin that way again.
"Yeah, I liked her before she stabbed you in the back." James snapped.
"She is trying to make amends, damn it! She told her bosses yesterday about her part in Amerithrax, and she's been put on temporary suspension because of it! And you know what? I've forgiven her. You don't have to, and you don't have to agree with my decisions, but you damn well better respect them." Alex snapped back. She grabbed her bag off of the bed and left the room, ignoring her husband's call of her name. At that point, she didn't care that he was angry.
Erin was waiting for her.
I actually managed to make this one slightly longer than the other chapters. Yay me! Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. Sorry the dinner date didn't make it in, but I just wanted to go into the background a little. I actually kind of like that there is so little information about Erin/Alex/James's history because it gives me the opportunity to take as many liberties with their stories as I want.
Also, for the ages, I went off of the actors/actresses that played the characters, so I hope that isn't too confusing.
